whew... strong strong words... you confront deep topics with honesty, and the freshness of your wordplay makes the lines stick in my mind...

>so i follow
>and he leads me
>to believe that
>a monsta stays behind the washer and dryer


powerful use of silent night, and then:

>and grandma ain't singing
>so why the fuck didn't she
>
>save me
>how can she sing
>holy songs
>'bout baby jesus
>and mary
>and not come
>and
>save
>me
>from
>choking
>on sweet youth mixed with mildew
>
>that keeps clinging to my memories
>
>cause this ain't the first time
>
>grandma forget to save
>me
>and
>my momma forgot to save me
>
>telling me to save myself
>for marriage
>but never told me bout playing
>house


this last line killed me:

>my flowers have lost their scent.

if i remember your style right, you're probably taking on a character here, but anyway, i got to say that my heart goes out to the voice behind this. and if you can't smell the flowers right now, doesn't mean they've lost their scent. thank you for this poem and peace.