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7500, Sept Featured Artist-Mute It's About Here. Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:19 PM
the work i've been posting up here has been part of something i'd like to eventually get published. with "goodbye for good," and some final editing on everything, it was finished. take a look through and see what you think. any kind of input is great. i need all i can get. enjoy! :)
mute
It’s about there and where I was last year. It’s about the ex girlfriend. How I hated, missed, and still loved her. It’s about moving into my apartment and sweating up three flights of stairs. It’s about meeting Tim and rarely seeing the real him again. It’s about accidentally breaking Geri’s “toy” and laughing about it still. It’s about Andrew being a stripper. It’s about having a bowl of cereal on the balcony on the first day of classes. Its about never doing it again. It’s about getting back with Lauren and feeling guilty for it. It’s about September eleventh, being numb, and still not understanding. It’s about dislocating my shoulder on the walk home from the bar. It’s about getting my first real piercing, and then many more. It’s about a Haunted Galaxy, Halloween, and dressing up. It’s about cheating on my girlfriend, never telling, and feeling guilty again. It’s about going home for the holidays and wishing I’d stayed longer. It’s about missing my parents. It’s about cheating on her again and not feeling as bad that time. It’s about the dumbest New Year’s ever, wishing I was somewhere else. It’s about letting a friend down and not being able to face him since. It’s about the next semester, thinking it was a new day. It’s about nothing changing at all. It’s about discovering I was a writer and learning how to do it. It’s about still figuring it out. It’s about using repetition. It’s about using repetition. It’s about being able to make a joke. It’s about Nicole Blackman reading a poem and making me cry. It’s about love, sex, and politics, just like every other poem. It’s about being there when someone needed me, not just because I still loved her. It’s about being dumped again and being alone for the first time in four years. It’s about the summer….or what I remember of it. It’s about driving to Louisville to find that something had changed. It’s about figuring out I was two steps away from an eating disorder. It’s about being evicted and hoping it wasn't just my fault. It’s about my new house, new roommates, new life. It’s about missing the old ones. It’s about being so homesick it hurts. It’s about my DUI and spending a night in jail. It’s about knowing I’ll make it through squeaky-clean. It’s about realizing I’m an addict and deciding to get on the wagon. It’s about how hard it really is. It’s about making myself say goodbye to the love I wish I had. It’s about here, and where I’ll go now.
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7501, Breathe Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:20 PM
I breathe relieved sighs For mistakes I’ve been forgiven for.
I shed silent tears For ones I’ve made.
I whisper prayers Against the ones I’ve yet to make.
Through them all, There you were, And are, And will be.
Words can’t do justice To knowing that, Without a doubt, a question, Or a second guess.
I was a poet once, Before meeting you.
But when simply being Means and tells it all, What’s there left to say With scribbled words In darkened rooms?
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7502, RE: Breathe Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:08 AM
The first three lines set off the piece lovely.
Peace & One Love
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7503, RE: Breathe Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Tue Sep-10-02 06:10 PM
This is a repentful & refreshing pCe that actually breathes with inhalations & exhalations!
Smooth & steady write -- Enjoyed it!
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7504, RE: Breathe Posted by thoughtremedy, Fri Sep-27-02 11:21 AM
i enjoyed this piece, brought peace to my mind. i like the conversational tone in it. i must agree with what photo said, inhale, exhale. peace.
peace.
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7505, No Time Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:21 PM
I’ve got no time for sappy Melodramatic love sonnets. My watch runs backwards Like a countdown, Measuring days I’ve spent From my account, Hoping I don’t bounce The next check.
My borrowed time is an investment In my children’s past. Their future is theirs, But I’m in charge of their Remember whens.
Someone out there Has a child today Who one day Will say:
“Remember when those planes crashed into those buildings?”
they didn’t do that. It was our world. The one my parents made And I probably maintained.
So when those kids say “remember when,” we need but remember one thing:
that we’re to blame because we were too worried about sitcoms and ourselves to stand up and start caring, to stand up and say: “NO. that’s not the way I want things.”
I don’t want a nation That has to put on makeup So it doesn’t cringe When it looks in the mirror.
I don’t want a nation Where middle aged men Can make a decision For any woman.
I don’t want a nation That thinks “Death” and “justice” are synonyms, And I don’t want a nation That doesn’t Know The difference.
I don’t want a nation Where rape has the same punishment as theft And I don’t want a nation Where it happens every two minutes.
--check THAT fact.
I don’t want a nation That has soldiers who can’t legally drink before they die, And I don’t want a nation That has soldiers Period.
I don’t want a nation That was glued to it’s tv to see one man executed, And I don’t want a nation That forgets that’s exactly What It Did.
I don’t want a nation That cries when it sees poverty on tv But can’t make eye contact With a homeless man on the street.
I don’t want a nation Where thin is in and even thinner is even better, And I don’t want a nation That gets fatter just the same.
I don’t want a nation Where commercial airtime is more valuable than gold, And I don’t want a nation Where it buys your silence.
I don’t want a nation That criminalizes the drugs it put on its own streets, And I don’t want a nation That uses them anyway.
And I’ve got no time for Emmys and Oscars Because there might be a real hero out there; There might be a real death.
I’ve got no time for magazines With articles on better, more satisfying sex When out there a woman is getting raped By her boyfriend.
Escapism is a guilty pleasure For a damn good reason And all Of Us Are guilty of that deadly sin.
So I hold us all accountable. I hold you accountable, Hollywood. I hold you accountable, network tv. I hold accountable every newspaper sold, And I hold Washington accountable For running all of the above.
And I hold us both accountable, Cause there’s no time for reading and writing, Listening, spitting obtuse flows Ignoring, thus supporting the status quo because We Don’t Know.
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7506, RE: No Time Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:10 AM
I dug how you ventured off into different important zones in this piece without being too preachy...
Peace & One Love
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7507, RE: No Time Posted by BLAKKRAGE, Fri Sep-06-02 04:01 AM
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
PEACE IF POSSIBLE
"THA RAGE CALLED BLAKK"
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7508, RE: No Time Posted by bugga, Tue Sep-10-02 11:47 AM
you summed everyones feelings of this country in one page.... I love it.... keep it up....
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7509, Seduction Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:21 PM
No, you’re not a slow jam man tonight. No Barry White or bearskin rug By the fireplace for you tonight. Not for your babe.
No candlelit dinners, No “wine-me dine-me” Before the pinch And paw me.
Not really a foreplay kind of guy, More of a sneak up on me guy.
Your sweaty palms are seduction enough, And nothing compares to holding her hands down You know that turns them on.
No woman can resist The kiss Of a hand on her mouth, Muffling screams and pleas for you to stop, But you hear “more.”
And that struggle she puts up Makes her hips move, Makes it better for you.
Like fucking a live body Instead of the living dead.
It’s about being that weight, That presence, That force from above, The one to dominate The one to determine the game you play.
You like that power.
Because you’re a man By any means necessary.
You’ll have what you want: Ripped clothes, bloody nose, Black eye, knife to throat.
It’s the thrill of the chase.
In the pursuit, to subdue, She becomes body And nothing more. You become king By fucking the whore.
Because you’re a man.
And not just an evil man; Nondescript features in an artists depiction. You’re a normal man. You’re every Man.
The boyfriend, The stranger, The acquaintance, The lover.
And sometimes saying “maybe, I guess, A promise IS a promise,” And sometimes saying nothing Is easier than saying “no.”
Because you’re a man And you feel you’re owed.
Entitled, deserving, With that act you’re serving Her needs and wants, Desires you decided she had and didn’t know yet.
Until you shoved that cock in.
You are a weapon. Hard on like a knife, Stabbing and tearing, Ripping and wearing down the humanity And the last shred Of dignity In your woman, Your thing, That playtoy you invented.
You Are a weapon.
No, you’re not a ladies man tonight. No smooth talking from you tonight, Not for your babe.
Subjugate that slut With every four letter word You can think up, Then think up more. Call her names. Think up games To play with her head While she’s under you, Kicking You, Hating You, Wishing you were dead Wishing she were dead as long as this would Stop.
And still somehow doubting Wondering if maybe this was Her fault.
For being her, Being there, Seeing you and not Being scared.
For not thinking twice. For not having a gun.
For not Forgetting To run.
And now her pleas of “please, stop,” Fall on deaf ears.
Because you’re a man, And this world is yours.
You Own it.
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7510, RE: Seduction Posted by memarie, Fri Aug-30-02 11:12 AM
i remeber this from when it was first posted... this is an amazing piece of writing... all of these are but this one... it shocks me... in a good way if that makes sense...
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7511, RE: Seduction Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:12 AM
This right here was intimidating in a good way...it brought forth the message without drwoning us inside all the images.
Peace & One Love
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7512, Yes Indeed! Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Wed Sep-11-02 04:42 PM
It's sad the things we make time for ... And then, the things we have very little time for are sometimes the things we should really be focusing on and taking the time! -- siGh--
I felt this one immensely -- It hit the mark with a finger on the pulse of accountability for all of us to recognize & remember!
(THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR "NO TIME", BY THE WAY -- BUT IT SOMEHOW WOUND UP UNDER SEDUCTION! --My Bad--
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7513, Watching, Waiting Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:22 PM
I like to watch rain splash down on concrete, Trying to make puddles, Ripples that never go anywhere.
I like to watch trees bend in the wind, Reaching and stretching to be somewhere else.
I like to watch clouds drift by, Seeing sky through parts of them Opened up by the wind.
I like to watch cars drive by, Their sound getting to me A second before they do.
I like to watch streetlights turn off, For no reason, In the middle of the night.
I like to watch people walk by, Oblivious to me Wondering where they’re going, And why.
I like to watch kids in a playground, Hoping they’re not worried about the middle east.
I like to watch guys with guitars Singing naïve love songs, Wondering if they’re being honest.
I like to watch you silhouette on my wall. It’s face doesn’t say it’s unhappy to be there.
I like to watch people really laugh. I don’t see that often.
I like to watch my roommate jump around Like an idiot. It lets me pretend he’s not the asshole I know that he is.
I like to watch the others smile. It helps me get there, too.
I like to watch people hearing a poem That touches them somehow.
I like to watch poets reading poems That mean something to them.
I like to watch boys trying to impress girls, I like to watch girls laugh at them when they’re not looking.
I like to watch buildings fall down. It makes me think mankind’s moving out.
I like to watch couples argue Because they wouldn’t if they didn’t care.
I like watch the landscape roll by. It reminds me that I’m really leaving.
I like to watch people wave. They know I’ll be back someday.
I like to watch friends move on. It’s good that they’re going somewhere.
I like to watch them hug when they leave. It means they’ll really miss each other.
I like to watch you glare at me. It reminds me of the lesson I might not learn.
I like to watch seconds tick by. It makes me wish I weren’t wasting them.
I like to watch cops doing their job Because they think they’re doing some good.
I like to watch cops being punished For abusing their power.
I like to watch people drink and laugh to forget
I like to watch people sing and dance to remember.
I like to watch people smoke, Because they enjoy it.
I like to watch them quit, Because they’ll live longer.
I like to watch people kiss, Because it shows there’s still love.
I like to watch them stop So they can look at each other.
I like to watch people sleep at night, Because they can somehow.
I like to watch them wake, Because they can face another day.
I like to watch rain fall and splash In puddle that weren’t there before.
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7514, RE: Watching, Waiting Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:14 AM
This was a patient poem...I loved the concept behind the puddles:-) I did that a lot as a kid...It's great to observe and then participate in life...the repetition here worked well with your title.
Peace & One Love
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7515, Identity Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:22 PM
Who Am I?
I sat through must see tv and my IQ dropped by 23 points.
I sold my soul to consumer culture And they bought in volume.
I alternate between slimfast and McDonald’s, Creating billion dollar industries that keep each other alive Like a pair of sycophants.
I’ve annexed other cultures to go with the land that I stole. The world IS my department store, you know.
I hate Muslims now because I’m bored with the blacks. I still exploit their culture, though. How can I help but want to make a buck?
Yeah, I still hate women, And I punish them by wishing they had eating disorders.
Don’t get me wrong, I hate men because they rape. And I promise I didn’t encourage them By fertilizing the soil So that seed would grow (nudge, wink).
I’ve got so much debt that I’m surprised the credit card companies Haven’t sent me away to work in a third world sweatshop Run by any one of those clothing companies I own.
I wish that debt was as small as my attention span.
Cathode rays from the monitor and the hum of the CPU Are my new crack and heroin. I pay for them by prostituting myself.
I like anime because it’s part of that cute caricature I’ve turned asian culture into. Anything exotic becomes fashionable sometime, And I want to stock up.
I gave a kid a video game, And when he came back, All done with his training, I gave him a gun. Then I gave him tv, Gangsta rap, And movies To show him how it’s done in real Life (hint, hint).
Murder is one of those hobbies I’m passionate about. In fact, I made my own military. I guess it’s more of a “gentlemen’s” club Where they can’t ask and can’t tell If they look at each other more than the strippers Because I hate homosexuals.
But they can have guns because I believe In the second amendment, Even though I don’t know what it means.
I can’t make up my mind about abortion because… Well, it is Another mouth to feed. But then again, I want people to have kids So I can sell them something someday.
Why kill potential customers? I’ll just wait till they’re hooked on what I sell. Kind of like the tobacco companies do. I own those, too, And I’m not just the president, I’m a client.
But when you want to keep a funeral home in business, You gotta do all you can. No, I Don’t own those.
But they give great kickbacks. Better than the head and the sex that I get From my girlfriend when my wife’s not around. And the only reason that’s as good as it is Is because I manage to objectify her By telling her it’s dirty one minute And the next I’m begging her to get on top So I can watch
I like that power.
And I film it so I can rewind it Again, And again, And again, And again.
I hang up the phone when telemarketers call, Even though I invented them. I shop at home on the net Because I’m too lazy to leave my house sometimes.
Which might be why I’m gaining some weight back. Better take some metabolife before I have to get my stomach stapled.
I was born on top of the heap In a caste system I call “capitalism.” I’d like to keep it that way, too. That’s why I hate the idea of communism.
I won’t have any insurrections threatening my Position. That’s why I bought the media And made it a propaganda machine.
Because I Am America.
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7516, RE: Identity Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:17 AM
the more I read your pieces, the more I'm feelin' your gentle sarcasm which is cool being that you are conscious about what's up and how this world unfortunately turns...good voice in this piece.
Peace & One Love
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7517, RE: Identity Posted by BLAKKRAGE, Fri Sep-06-02 04:11 AM
SPEAKING TRUTH IS SO RELIEVING ISN'T IT? I LOVED YOUR CPU ANALOGY, I QUIT SMOKING CIGS BUT THE CPU IS MY NEW FIX YET ANOTHER TRAP NOW MY TOUNGE HURTING FROM LICKING THE BLADE OF DEATH TOO LONG.
ONE LOVE/PEACE & SOLIDARITY
"THA RAGE CALLED BLAKK"
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7518, Wanting, Waiting Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:23 PM
I want someone to turn that music down. I want to sleep.
I want to dream of things that will happen. I want to not dream of impossible possibilities.
I want someone to wake me up. I want someone to wake up with.
I want someone to remember I exist. I want someone to be happy about it.
I want to find someone who understands me. I want someone to understand when I leave.
I want someone to turn that music down.
I want someone to turn that music up. I want to dance.
I want to be so happy that I can. I want to be young enough to do it.
I want to be proud of the children I might have. I want my parents to be proud of me.
I want to jump off my balcony. I want you to be there to catch me.
I want you to be here right now. I want someone to turn that music up.
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7519, RE: Wanting, Waiting Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:18 AM
This piece sounded very mechanical...almost robotic...
Peace & One Love
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7520, What I Can't and Can Share Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:23 PM
It’s sexy when you touch your open palm to your chest Like you’re brushing something away. Serious conversation stops for a second When you stretch And arch your back. I can picture myself on top with you reaching for pillows, Grasping in ecstatic fits.
It’s sexy how you sit too close to me. Even the feel of your arm next to mine Shocks me. Grabs my nervous system and twists. Makes it shake because I love your touch.
It’s sexy how you tilt your head when you listen. Showing that neckline I want to introduce to my lips. Like strangers at a party Making up lies about feeling they’ve known each other forever Just because they want each other.
It’s sexy how you tell stories that sound, suspiciously, Like fantasies. The things I dream of in mid-day. It excites me to hear them because I want them With you.
It’s sexy how you scream in bed Even though you know we can hear you. You’re the exhibitionist To the voyeur that I am. I could watch you writhe on top of me for days.
It’s sexy how you can stay up with me Till 6 am, Discussing things meaningful to us And streaming consciousness together To decipher the mysteries of human nature.
It’s sexy how you can’t stop that talk When we do make it to bed, Not for sex, but for the comfort Of someone next to each of us.
It’s sexy how we make eye contact when we talk And even more when we talk when we make eye contact.
It’s sexy how you slam your hand on the table, A private high five to yourself because you believe in And say what you think.
It’s sexy how our minds kiss when they meet, And more when you know more than you think you do About me and what I think about you. What I can’t and can share with you
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7521, RE: What I Can't and Can Share Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:21 AM
Aaaawwww, I'm feelin how you can take certain specific moments and explore them so simply and deeply with a twist!...as a love jawn, I like this! yeah, we have all been there...
Peace & One Love
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7522, Promises Like Nonsense Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:24 PM
I promised myself yesterday that I’d leave you, And the day before that, too. I told myself I’d be happy again; That I wouldn’t answer to you. I said I wouldn’t be lonely; That I would not call you.
I’ve left three messages so far.
I said I wouldn’t care if you begged, But I still wish I could hear it. I’ll fall asleep tonight And dream of nothing again.
I woke up with a smile Looking forward to seeing you, But remembered that I promised myself yesterday that I’d leave you, And the day before that, too. I told you it’s harder to be with you than to miss you.
I promised myself I’d stop lying, too.
I hoped that we’d fight instead of seeing you cry, Not that you’d blink and move on. That I’d stand there, shocked Thinking that you should’ve said more.
I promised myself I’d be pessimistic, too.
I said that I’d be by myself, That I wouldn’t seek out a fixation, That I wouldn’t fall for the next best closest thing. I promised myself I’d quit smoking. I forgot to do that, too. I’ll fall asleep tonight And dream of nothing again.
I managed to get through the day without once Thinking about the fact that promised myself yesterday that I’d leave you, And the day before that, too. It didn’t matter why I couldn’t eat Or why I didn’t speak, Why I didn’t make my bed And why I didn’t blink. I told myself I’d go outside, That it wouldn’t be so bad. But my street is lined With landmarks my mind set aside for you: That streetlight went out every time we walked by, Where we kissed 10 steps later.
I promised myself I’d burn pictures today With the light I bought when I promised myself yesterday that I’d leave you, and the day before that, too. But I lost it like I misplaced my place in your life. I’ll fall asleep tonight And dream of nothing again.
I told myself I wouldn’t drink, But it helps me forget That I promised myself yesterday that I’d leave you, And the day before that, too.
I am quite Drunk And content with being numb, because I can deny that I am Falling face first into a puddle of bricks And spreading my arms wide so I can enjoy the ride. I am Wallowing in the inconsistency Of action versus words versus me versus you. I am Promising myself that I’m lying to you. I am Forgetting to remember to forget that I remembered that I Promised myself yesterday that I’d leave you, And the day before that, too. I’ll fall asleep tonight And dream of nothing again.
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7523, RE: Promises Like Nonsense Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:23 AM
The images you placed here was tight...espec. the part about falling into the bricks...I also dug how you wrote it to give us the sense of how your memory worked here-
Peace & One Love
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7524, RE: Promises Like Nonsense Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Wed Sep-18-02 06:13 PM
Oh My Goodness! -- ;^o
I've made those same painful promises before!
--BitterSweet Read--
Your writing here was like a diary!
--Cleansing Flow--
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7525, Gentle Jazz Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:24 PM
Gentle jazz steps With a swing Off a concrete curb And into a whiskey binge.
Gentle jazz, with his Sax in hand, Plays a tune For the tuneless and haunted. The ones that don’t need And don’t want him.
Gentle jazz don’t Know where he is.
He dreams in allegro And moods, Of being a faceless name. Gentle jazz moves
In six-eight time Ten times. New Orleans funeral dirge. Gentle jazz sings In blues and minor thirds.
Gentle jazz don’t sting.
He echoes stories Through midnight streets Of the whip And the sun On his back. Burning blackness deep.
Gentle jazz speaks And seeks
Solace In a Tenor Buzz And a Woman On him Like clothes.
Gentle jazz knows Of times as good As the bad ones were.
When “fine” meant He wasn’t dead And “great” meant “still alive.”
Gentle jazz thrives
To reassess the value Of a smile held deep By those who hear Gentle jazz when they move,
Cause gentle jazz Don’t weep without A laugh for every tear.
Gentle jazz grooves.
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7526, RE: Gentle Jazz Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:25 AM
I think you posted this one before? And I remembered commenting wanting to HEAR this piece...Music pieces get me that way...
Peace & One Love
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7527, Pictures of Memories of Portraits of You Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:25 PM
I’ve lost photographs before, But memories linger, Like yellow fingers stained By chemicals and compounds.
Some things I adore.
And I’ve burned Photographs before. Adolescent nonsense fueled by, simply, Hormones, No less.
I wish alchemy had ways To take carbon waste And reclaim memories from ash. I miss those photographs.
I’ve found photographs. Stolen moments telling stories Of friends forgetting to ask, Of wisecracks and laughs, Stories of you, And who, That no one understands.
The third person perspective comforts me sometimes. I love those photographs.
I wish I’d counted the seconds I spent Waiting for an image to appear On the paper you gave me. Reaching, introspective, Into sickly yellow darkrooms That confuse fumes and process With perfection and accidents.
Double exposures that fabricate ghosts, Beautiful photographs.
I wish alchemy had ways To take carbon waste And reclaim memories from ash. I miss those photographs.
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7528, RE: Pictures of Memories of Portraits of You Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:26 AM
you too? Burning those photographs is something...I thought the title can be condensed a bit, just a thought...
Peace & One Love
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7529, The Reign of Rain Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:26 PM
The rain, a shimmering veil, Waves in front of the view. Lost among names With faces I never knew.
Breath, escaping, Regaining less daily, Until the day when I Feel my last waning, And going, At last I give up.
The will to pursue, Gone. The will to fight, Gone. And then I Close My Eyes.
When the air from that breath Leaves me, a sinking ship, I hope you can hear me whisper Through the distance.
The rain, a shimmering veil, Waves in front of the view.
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7530, RE: The Reign of Rain Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:28 AM
Short but definitely sweet...rain is so beautiful and powerfilled that I can hear it in this piece right here.
Peace & One Love
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7531, Crashing In Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:27 PM
Reality crashes in through the door Like badge wearing seargents With billy clubs, stun guns, and tear gas.
And me without my mask.
Reality crashes in, New blue dawn over red skylines of cities Half asleep but still breathing The sound of factories And traffic.
Reality crashes in with my heartbeat; Knocking beating against the back of my chest While ulcers itch at the stomach lining.
Reality crashes in through my sleep, Preventing my feeble attempt to dream, Leaving me awake, Dreading the day and still sweating.
Reality crashes in like ten Thousand bulls in the street, With make back making love to a brick wall, The rest of me facing those new acquaintances.
Reality crashes in Like a plane through an office window.
Reality crashes in On two teenage lovers, Unaware, Ignorant, Unprepared.
Reality crashes into a woman Walking in the dark, Alone.
Reality crashes in like a joke Hitting too close to home.
Reality crashes in Like a fire alarm unheard, And stings like a third degree burn.
Reality crashes in with the test results.
Reality crashes in Without a word.
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7532, RE: Crashing In Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:29 AM
I'm seein' your style here and once again the use of repetition...the topic works with it.
Peace & One Love
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7533, Music Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:27 PM
I love the languid blues of feminine fingertips Sketching sunlit summer rain down my spine.
The gentle jazz of autumn falling On couples bathing in serpentine sunsets With clouds chasing the last rays Of the days sun away.
Winter storms bebop Skee bop, A skip and a hop across states And frames of mind breaking Like fences weighed down By ice of skys making.
And yet, once again, Spring swings in And makes the end the beginning again. The rhythm becomes A flood of snow Becoming the ocean again.
Life moves in cycles. I will, myself, cycle Until I am end.
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7534, RE: Music Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:31 AM
Maybe extend the first verse to the length of the other verses just for balance sake...
Peace & One Love
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7535, Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:28 PM
Hello, It’s me. Just wishing I could still see Through the stars Between.
Hello, I’ve lost That battle Between my soul And my self Again.
Hello, I did Not forget To think about What you said Back then.
Hello, I don’t See your name, But goodbye in Your words and Your eyes.
Hello, goodbye.
Goodbye, You have Taken what I had left of A soul to Give back.
Goodbye, I don’t Use you, but Say “I’ll see you Soon,” and hope I do.
Goodbye, I still Pretend I Never heard your Voice across The room.
Goodbye, She’s gone Again and So is hello. On parting, I said,
“Goodbye, hello.”
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7536, RE: Goodbye, Hello, Goodbye Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:32 AM
good development and ending!
Peace & One Love
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7537, Shapes Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:28 PM
Yes I see shapes And outlines while hemlines make me Calculate on some figures.
Algebra, how could ya take me away And let me repeat my mistake?
My addition to that division Is the multiplication of my size. And sometimes I do some subtraction Just to hear the sound she sighs.
While her legs say “greater than,” My geometry seems to please her. But her math is still more Than 3.14.
There’s only one language I speak When I speak of homework, And that speak is math speak With me getting warmer.
So I speak to your speak And mine speaks to yours. Yours speaks to mine and I Hope we speak more.
Cause the squares circle the block While rectangles stay in to try angles That make octagons.
So yes I see shapes And outlines while hemlines make me Calculate on some figures.
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7538, RE: Shapes Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:33 AM
The journey through this piece was fun and worth the trip reading.
Peace & One Love
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7539, My Gemini Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:29 PM
I had an emotion yesterday And it felt like an old pair of shoes. Desperately comfortable, But still unfamiliar.
I lost some perspective when you finally moved on, And I became jaded with my self and my world.
You know it’s hard to let go With white knuckles cramped From holding on for so long, But my mistake was mine, And I’m stuck still owning it.
I breathed in some yesterday, Didn’t like how it tasted without you, Your kisses of nicotine and conversation.
It’s been bland like that for a while now. I’m getting used to it still.
I wish I hadn’t wasted seconds of you On waiting for perfection. Didn’t know what you were. Couldn’t see through perception.
And now I’m leaving reminders behind. Hoping the highway comes my way, Takes me away to my someday, My somewhere, My someone, My somehow. But my maybes make me stay Hand on the phone, ear to door Wishing you were on the other side of one.
Pollox, my friend, It’s been too long. I hope I can see you soon.
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7540, RE: My Gemini Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:34 AM
Sincere dedication...(sigh)
Peace & One Love
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7541, Intermingling Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:30 PM
intermingled fingers twinkling, dancing before eyes like dashboard lights. my rear view works post view to prove the past presents the future folly of my mind on intermingled fingers twinkling, dancing down my spine.
intermingled fingers, cringing from what ifs and what thens. this has been might have been a have and not a had not had not intermingled fingers, lingering languidly dangling down the rest of me interrupted unexpectedly.
intertwined fingers, detaching unforgivingly away from the other's other menacing in sundown twighlight ways. minds define boudary lines, adrift; away; fallen. losing less is more is best with intertwined fingers detatching, unforgivingly away.
still cringing from intermingling fingers detaching, but still, regrettably, intermingling fingers pretend the best is yet to come. a poor substitute for eden found its way onto my page, brought the last demons some kind of appeasement while need found no release.
and still, intermingling fingers distract me from then and now and when, but still, what then? intermingling fingers twinkling dancing before eyes like dashboard lights?
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7542, RE: Intermingling Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:36 AM
when I read this outloud, that word "intermingling" started to give a funny sensation to my tongue while saying it...intermingling with my speech:-) good affect.
Peace & One Love
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7543, New Notebook Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:30 PM
have to find a new place to put my "pie" pieces and my "pea" peace, a place to hide my release.
i filled up a notebook with thoughts i have of still, you. i'll fill up this one with thoughts i have to move.
move. i have to move. i have to move on.
and alcohol doesn't fail my feet as they fail and i fall on my floor to find my mind still wandering like my feet from your place one year ago.
a year and two days ago was an ok kind of alone. quite unlike the alone i found a year and a day ago.
away from you for one whole year. away from you for one whole year.
don't ask how i managed to stay sane, cause i didn't.
don't ask if i hated avoiding you, cause i did.
don't ask if i liked being friends, cause i couldn't and please
don't ask if it made me miss you even more.
don't ask if i really missed you, cause i did.
don't ask if i wanted you gone, cause i didn't.
don't ask if i could blame you, cause i couldn't and please
don't ask if i'll forget you, cause i can't.
but i can't stay seated stand still and keep freezing till i'm tagged and i'm it and you find me right.
i can't wait years for you to find out that we fit and i'm right cause i knew... didn't you put up that fight? that's right.
so i'm filling eighty college ruled pages with the words to justify the fact that i still feel it but i've got to let it go.
but one day i might find one of those pieces i might fit with in this jigsaw puzzle.
there. three pages closer to getting over you.
seventy seven more to go.
gotta find a new place to put my "pie" pieces and my "pea" peace, a place to hide my release.
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7544, RE: New Notebook Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:37 AM
word-play is nice here...
Peace & One Love
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7545, Goodbye for Good Posted by mute, Mon Aug-26-02 09:34 PM
i haven't heard from you in weeks ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i haven't seen you in months ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. only got a glance at your new life ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. you haven't seen the wreck i've made of mine ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i can't cry salt stung tears for someone not and never here, never there despite my pleading and reaching ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. my heart hurts from having a hole the size of your hand that i can't hold. ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i can't walk through these silent streets without hearing your voice, your laugh, your sigh, your life ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i've gotten used to sleeping alone ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. the drugs don't work ......so i guess it's goodbye for good i can never sing in your ear again ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. yes, there's love if you want it ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. the same sad song sings sonnets for someone ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i imagined the digitized conversations between you and your new love, mispellings, bad grammar and all ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. and neither of you cared to correct it ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. the one you lied about having so you could use me ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. but everything happens how it's meant and for a reason (hint) ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i've wasted my time with wishing and watching and wanting and waiting ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. convenient that i was there when you needed ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. it's easier to forget who convinced you to fight off anna and hold down food and that there's no way saltines will keep you alive ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. but the new guy probably doesn't know that about you ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. even you said i saved your life ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i hate this bitter taste on my tongue ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i'd rather speak sugary sweet syrupy sentences ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i got the final notice tonight ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i burned that box of memories like i should have so long ago ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i can never see you, speak to you or of you again ......so i guess it's goodbye for good. i'll never write another poem about you, i'm done ......so i guess it's goodbye for good.
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7546, RE: Goodbye for Good Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:39 AM
you know, being that this is the last piece on your list and I'm not sure how you will place them, in this order or what...I thought a couple of them can be linked together being that they had similar topics and vibe...once again good work and continue to do your thang...good luck with all this!!!!! Thanks for sharing...
Peace & One Love
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7547, UP. Posted by BrainChild, Thu Aug-29-02 10:09 AM
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7548, RE: I'll make sure... Posted by Sampaguita, Thu Aug-29-02 10:52 AM
that I get back with you with all this...No doubt...Support always---
Peace & One Love
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7549, RE: I'll make sure... Posted by mute, Wed Sep-04-02 03:26 PM
thanks so much for replying to all the pieces. i appreciate the patience it took to wade through all of them. i was thinking of keeping them in the order they were written to show how the voice i was using grew and developed over time, which seems to work well with the autobiographical nature of the work. what do you think of that?
mute
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7550, RE: gotcha... Posted by Sampaguita, Thu Sep-05-02 04:07 AM
with that in mind...then you got it! keep on:-)
Peace & One Love
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7551, about it's about Posted by Cendeco, Thu Aug-29-02 02:30 PM
really nice piece, good self expression. Even though it was personal, I can relate to most of the things you said.
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7552, UP! Posted by BrainChild, Mon Sep-02-02 12:15 PM
----
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7553, RE: UP! Posted by mute, Tue Sep-03-02 04:43 PM
thanks mang. :)
mute
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7554, RE: It's About Here. Posted by Iridescence, Tue Sep-03-02 05:33 PM
i love this. i loved reading it. i cant wait to read it again. i cant wait to buy the collection its published in, and brag to my friends that i read it when it was still a work in progress. i love this i think its the reassurance that we all go through the same shit that i like so much. your going to reach alot of people on this one. did i say...I LOVE THIS!?
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7555, RE: It's About Here. Posted by mute, Wed Sep-04-02 03:32 PM
>i cant wait to buy the collection its published in, and brag to >my friends that i read it when it was still a work in progress. >i love this
i just can't wait to brag to my friends that someone read it and loved it!
>i think its the reassurance that we all go through the same >shit that i like so much. >your going to reach alot of people on this one.
i think this is one of the coolest things anyone has said to me because that's the best thing any writer can do. thank you SOOOO much.
any ideas on how i could improve it?
mute
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7556, This here Posted by ThaAnthology, Wed Sep-04-02 12:12 AM
is important work, so I anchored it. This way, folk get a chance to read all pieces and respond accordingly without it getting lost in the back pages. I will be responding periodically as I continue on with the book. Good job so far!
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7557, RE: This here Posted by mute, Wed Sep-04-02 03:34 PM
wow. thanks a lot. i REALLY appreciate that. :)
can't wait to hear your thoughts on anything in it.
mute
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7558, RE: It's About Here. Posted by Sampaguita, Wed Sep-04-02 04:07 AM
it's about you and your time for all these pieces to shine:-) Repetition does something to the psyche.
Peace & One Love
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7559, RE: It's About Here. Posted by syllabicdivinity, Wed Sep-04-02 04:33 AM
it's about the simple things in life that we usually overlook which make life...well, life...ordinarily extraordinary...much respect... ...blend...love...syllabicdivinity
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7560, that's my dog!!!! Posted by BrainChild, Wed Sep-04-02 11:27 AM
mute...
i freaked when i saw the anchor, and freaked even more when ThaAnthology called this "important work."
i'm really proud of you man. you really connected with people on this one, and this can't do anything but be successful as a published work.
can't wait to get back to indiana for a bit and spin some rekkids.
---- DO YOURSELF A FAVOR... BUY THE CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA ALBUM "EVERY DAY" NOW!
"i don't not like what the radio is playing. i just don't like what the radio is not playing." - j. townes
"copyright law cannot stop the revolution! it's clobberin time!!" - m. caesar
"thank you Jesus for my mama, and i thank you bitches for my money" - c. chesnutt
"this place is like a backed up colon, and i'm the colonic! hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee" - some guy
"f*ck the bozos!" - j. goines
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7561, RE: that's my dog!!!! Posted by mute, Wed Sep-04-02 03:37 PM
>i freaked when i saw the anchor, and freaked even more when >ThaAnthology called this "important work."
YOU freaked out? what do you think *I* did?!
>i'm really proud of you man. you really connected with people >on this one, and this can't do anything but be successful as a >published work.
thanks, mang. now as to HOW to get it published, i'm absolutely clueless.
>can't wait to get back to indiana for a bit and spin some >rekkids.
neither can i. i think my decks miss you. :)
mute
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7562, RE: that's my dog!!!! Posted by BrainChild, Thu Sep-05-02 03:39 AM
>>i freaked when i saw the anchor, and freaked even more when >>ThaAnthology called this "important work." > >YOU freaked out? what do you think *I* did?!
lol, well i immediately hopped on the phone and called. i printed it out last weekend and read it on the train to jersey.
>thanks, mang. now as to HOW to get it published, i'm >absolutely clueless.
that's the next challenge, i suppose. make it happen! i'll see if i can come up with any names of people out here in the publishing field. ---- DO YOURSELF A FAVOR... BUY THE CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA ALBUM "EVERY DAY" NOW!
"i don't not like what the radio is playing. i just don't like what the radio is not playing." - j. townes
"copyright law cannot stop the revolution! it's clobberin time!!" - m. caesar
"thank you Jesus for my mama, and i thank you bitches for my money" - c. chesnutt
"this place is like a backed up colon, and i'm the colonic! hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee" - some guy
"f*ck the bozos!" - j. goines
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7563, RE: It's About Here. Posted by delrica, Wed Sep-04-02 12:51 PM
i liked this piece...but
sometimes, there is no joy in repetition. in other words...lose some of your it's about...we already know that's the name of the piece, maybe stress the particular phrase all of three times throughout. otherwise, i liked the things recalled, especially breaking the "toy" *wink*
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7564, RE: It's About Here. Posted by mute, Wed Sep-04-02 03:46 PM
thanks for the input. after reading through it, i think you're right. i'm gonna work on it and see what happens.
mute
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7565, RE: It's About Here. Posted by KnowOne, Thu Sep-05-02 08:16 AM
Tight piece..... I've read the 1st few, & enjoyed them! I look forward to reading the rest. KEEP FLOWIN' MAN! BTW if you do get published... hook a bruh' up with a few tips on how you went about it.
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7566, awwww yea Posted by limbic_system, Thu Sep-05-02 12:25 PM
damn baby....looks like you on FIYAH!
most definately diggin your anchored word
==============================
We crave the meat of existence We are slaves of experience Junkies on the surreal holy streets of our own consciousness
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7567, RE: awwww yea Posted by mute, Fri Sep-06-02 07:06 AM
i'm pretty shocked, myself. :)
mute
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7568, RE: Sept Featured Artist-Mute It's About Here. Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Fri Sep-06-02 06:13 PM
There are many variables to your writing style -- And my observation is that you have several writing styles depending on the subject matter.
Allow me to say that I LIKE THEM ALL! -- ;^)
The flow of your words reminds me of pure maple syrup -- Not as thick as Karo or Mrs. Butterworths - (which is mostly corn syrup & maple flavoring) -- But the "real" stuff that has to be refrigerated -- Tapped from the maple tree -- Brimming with richness & flavor -- Yet thick enough to cover brain waves with sticky thoughts that adhere to the reader's consciousness.
That does it -- I'm havin' pancakes for breakfast later! --WinK--
I'll check back witcha later and give a few critiques.
Congrats on the ANCHOR -- Excellent reading material!
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7569, RE: Sept Featured Artist-Mute It's About Here. Posted by mute, Sat Sep-07-02 07:17 AM
>Congrats on the ANCHOR -- Excellent reading material!
thanks a lot! appreciate all the compliments, and thanks for reading in the first place. can't wait to get that critique from ya.
mute
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7570, It's About Here. Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Tue Sep-10-02 05:46 PM
I like the repetition in this pCe -- It reads like a mini-biography in bullet format -- Ratt a tattt tattt -- This is where it's at -- It's About Here!
Yeah!
The scenarios are so relate~able -- I'm sure most of us could find a few that fit our reality.
Like these fit mine:
It’s about there and where I was last year.
It’s about moving into my apartment and sweating up three flights of stairs.
It’s about September eleventh, being numb, and still not understanding.
It’s about going home for the holidays & wishing I’d stayed longer.
It’s about missing my parents.
It’s about the dumbest New Year’s ever, wishing I was somewhere else.
It’s about nothing changing at all.
It’s about discovering I was a writer and learning how to do it.
It’s about still figuring it out.
It’s about using repetition. It’s about using repetition.
It’s about being able to make a joke.
It’s about love, sex, and politics, just like every other poem.
It’s about my new house, new roommates, new life.
It’s about missing the old ones.
It’s about being so homesick it hurts.
It’s about here, and where I’ll go now.
Word! -- Felt!
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7571, i dig yr writing style and thought flow... Posted by MUSE, Thu Sep-12-02 03:28 AM
u hit the real issues with heart soul and passion
this is peace, man. totally.
when's this book/cd comin? i may hit yr inbox up this week.
one love,
MUSE
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7572, RE: Sept Featured Artist-Mute It's About Here. Posted by ASIEM, Mon Sep-23-02 03:30 PM
it's about keeping things real and so you did... i like this ASIEM "Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran (Be and it is) " A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder checkout these sites www.http://www.urbanpoetic.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php http://4luvofpoetry.com www.poetology.com
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7573, finally Posted by delsbrothergeorge, Thu Sep-26-02 12:11 PM
made the time to read this and was very glad that i did.
i can relate to a good bit of your experience and recently endured the process of purging via poetry myself. can't say that i was so brave to share it though.
in general, your work is superb. it feels as is you are beginning to find your voice in much of this, but what a voice it appears to be. and the linguistic dexterity...whoa. the best thing a person can say about one's creative talents is that their creations are worthwhile. and yours are.
as for publishing this...i wouldn't put all of it together. the political stuff doesn't fit with the anguished love joints. save those for another book.
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7574, RE: finally Posted by mute, Thu Sep-26-02 03:39 PM
you think? maybe just a couple of different chapbooks then?
mute
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