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Forum nameFreestyle Board Archives
Topic subject15 POUNDS
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=20&topic_id=5284
5284, 15 POUNDS
Posted by cre8or, Fri May-30-03 05:12 AM
I never wanted to be fat.
It’s just that no one asked me to have these genes.
It seems my fat ass is hereditary.
I never wanted to be fat.
It just so happens that
I’ve never been a small girl.
A very round peg in an itsy bitsy square kinda world.
I mean, come on, who wants to be fat these days?
You get winded going up every damn flight of steps in the Patterson Office Tower
cause your math class is on the third floor.
Mmmhmm, you know---Can’t buy pretty, feminine bras!
You know the the ones I mean, The kind with that push-up capability but your fat ass
can’t wear them cause your voluptuous cup runneth over
I never wanted to be fat.
It’s just that no one ever wanted to know my name. Shame.
And I always laughed at myself because being a woman meant frowning and sulking was bad for my health.
So, I came up with nice, cute little jokes and comments
seething with sarcasm about how I wanted
to stay the way that I was
and change is bad and I wouldn’t look right skinny anyway. There’s no way.
I never wanted to be fat.
It’s just that when I looked at myself in the mirror I wanted deny everything about me to me.
I was lying to me.
Dying to me.
Lying.
Telling myself it was ok to be ashamed. Shame.
Ok to blame my genes. Shame. Ok to blame. Ok to blame.
Ok to blame society because
being the same size as Halle would’ve won me a distinctive slot in the “For skinny girls only” Rally.
Ok to assume that black women aren’t sick.
Although, we burn a piece of ourselves everyday
from conforming to life
performing through life
and deforming our lives
to become lighter eyed,
trimmer thighed,
hair fried,
dyed laid to the side.
Because I never wanted to be fat
but it’s just that it was so comfortable being a size 16 or 14 or any size in the teens.
Alarming to change all that I was because
I was supposed to be confident and a strong woman
and full of tried and true beliefs, give other people relief, be a mother to my sister or my brother.
But nobody asked me what I wanted
just assumed by me being fat, that THAT fat formed a malicious evil circle around my heart.
Desensitizing any feelings that I’ve ever had
because someone wanted to be nice and call me “healthy”.
Just assumed by me being fat, I lacked the power
of being a true human being because
I had a problem with eating.
Bleeding with gluttony because having love handles
was not a part of anyone’s democracy.
So since everyone wanted to pet and enable the fat
I decided that I did not want to be fat!
“Oh she never was fat I never thought that!”
In a SNAP, I decided to ZAP all this emotionally heavy, downtrodden fat and lose 15 pounds.
I mean, it’s only 15 pounds. 15 pounds isn’t a big deal.
If I could just get rid of those pounds.
Those pounds.
Those pounds.
People will like me, right?
Right. I would fit in, right?
Right.
I would get laid, right?
Right—well, that has nothing to do with being fat
but that’s a whole nother poem.
So, 15 pounds later, well, actually, 26 ½ pounds later…
15 sounds better to me—more marketable.
Meanwhile, my mind still stuck on vanity mode.
I flushed all carnality down the commode.
15 pounds an ode to physical, mental and spiritual weight loss.



5285, very powerful & passionate.
Posted by Foneticcus, Fri May-30-03 10:04 AM
& it was smthg i could relate too. more of a direct & outright poem than i'm used 2; i tend 2 prefer subtlety but u pulled this off nicely Ms cre8. only potential problem w/ it was the ending -- it seemed we heard all abt yr experiences & yr life & u, & then u ended it by leaving us hanging...

"15 pounds an ode to physical, mental and spiritual weight loss."

-- kinda giving a generic ending that coulda been placed @ this end of any weight loss poem. this was *your* poem; tear the ending up like u tore up the rest of it & that'd make it complete 4 me. i like the jawn tho...it was pCe, f'rill.
5286, wow
Posted by Spread, Fri May-30-03 10:14 AM
that was real. damn. Your honesty was very attractive. I liked how you didn't go through the whole blame thing to strongly, just touched on it and sort of made fun of it. You flipped it in your own way which makes it an honest expression rather than a 'feel sorry for poor fat me' or 'fuck skinny botches' poem. I'd love to see you read this in person. I'm sure it would be great. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed that.
5287, i enjoyed this....
Posted by invisible ink, Fri May-30-03 11:35 AM
it was little long...but there was something in your writing that made it all worth while to the end......maybe its the fact that in writing this....u've already shed more weight than u could ever know..............

miss k
5288, quite like ratpackslim's piece
Posted by rgv, Fri May-30-03 03:42 PM
this does whut it is intended to do
5289, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by Frakage, Fri May-30-03 05:06 PM
well, this had my eyes grippin the page all thru and not on any pity shit either but some damn, this is some well laid out thoughts that were weaved together displayin what go's on in so many peoples minds these days and the control ya took over it was smashin yo, definitly glad i peaked in on this, ima have to look for more from ya, peace.
5290, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by cre8or, Sat May-31-03 12:42 PM
hey, thanks for the input..this is part of my one woman show dealing with weight loss ad this was the opening monologue! I delve into 7 different characters dealing with weight issues while infusing my own weight problem monologues in between....it turned out to be a pretty good show....I posted this because it definitely is the poetry to my life....
5291, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by ASIEM, Sat May-31-03 01:10 PM
i really enjoyed reading this and thought about my sister who i tease alot when we were growing up...well written and hopeful.

ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
checkout these sites
http://4luvofpoetry.com
www.poetology.com
5292, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by PhotoSynthesis, Sat May-31-03 06:21 PM
Very Good Read!

(((Much Enjoyed)))
5293, This is...
Posted by ToeJam, Sun Jun-01-03 06:23 AM
...one of those pieces where you can tell a person if freeing themselves with, so you let them. Thanks.
5294, pushin this up!
Posted by cre8or, Mon Jun-02-03 03:53 AM
up up up up!
5295, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by cre8or, Tue Jun-03-03 03:36 AM
upupupupupupup!
5296, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by cre8or, Tue Jun-03-03 04:37 AM
upupupupupupuup!
5297, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by presyzion, Tue Jun-03-03 05:40 AM
you know, the concept of this poem is very relatable to both men and women. you wrote honestly, and i think it is a very great poem.

peace
5298, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by cre8or, Wed Jun-04-03 04:02 AM
upupupupupupup! read me! Tell me what you think.....
5299, every woman in america has had that feeling
Posted by robynwildchild, Wed Jun-04-03 08:26 AM
Those pounds.
People will like me, right?
Right. I would fit in, right?
Right.
I would get laid, right?

i just have to say....
people won't like you when yo skinny
people won't fuck you when yo skinny
people won't like you when yo skinny
if you don't have the power to find YOUR OWN SELF attractive.....

my objective in response isn't to be mean....
just.... ah...
find your true purpose and your encasements won't bother you
cuz people don't see you the way you see yourself....
5300, RE: every woman in america has had that feeling
Posted by cre8or, Thu Jun-05-03 04:03 AM
that wasn't the point....the point is I wasn't confident at first even when I lost those pounds....you ain't saying nothing new! All I am saying is this is what was in mind when I struggled with people's opinions of me. I don't think that way now...Just voicing insecurities that all of us including you have. no mean response intended but it's funny how things come across when you read them.....
5301, understood
Posted by robynwildchild, Thu Jun-05-03 09:53 AM
yea.. intended responses all convex when you all have different backgrounds and feelings

but i'm uppin ya.. i wouldn't want Anyone to feel that they can't express their feelings up here... ya know

P3c
5302, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by BarTek, Thu Jun-05-03 05:01 AM
hah, brave honesty. i can relate no doubt. respect.

peace.
5303, well done
Posted by OrangeLoni, Thu Jun-05-03 09:25 AM
i'm feeling bland, how'd you do that, how long did it take?
5304, thats so sad
Posted by young_fox, Thu Jun-05-03 12:32 PM
i can lie i say that i can relate but that would just be stupid..i was touched by your entry nonetheless.keep up the good work

**search 4 a cast to plot/i make u a laughing stock/so shook i could walk a half a block and feel the after shock** - Wordsworth
5305, bland? really?
Posted by cre8or, Fri Jun-06-03 04:13 AM
thank you...how did I do what? lose weight? interview people? what specifically?
5306, lose weight, or is not from your exp?
Posted by OrangeLoni, Sat Jun-07-03 04:24 AM
i was feeling bland, it wasn't an effect brought on by your poetry, lol...

i'm feeling a little more citrusy today though.
5307, RE: lose weight, or is not from your exp?
Posted by cre8or, Sun Jun-08-03 02:04 PM
yes, almost 30 pounds....a lot huh?
5308, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by slicklyric, Fri Jun-06-03 05:01 AM
very real..and the thing i liked about this was you dont jus need to have a weight issue to relate-i particulary like this...

Although, we burn a piece of ourselves everyday
from conforming to life
performing through life
and deforming our lives


"when a man aims at nothing, he seldom misses the target"

"absence of occupation, is not rest"

"write it down. the worst ink survives the best memory"
5309, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by HEBREW_HONEY, Fri Jun-06-03 05:05 AM
I dig the creation...15 pounds is alot when you speaking physical, mental and spiritual...never lose your grip! keep expressin!
5310, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by Toothpick, Fri Jun-06-03 05:22 AM
Damn...I gotta send this to a friend. It's just what they need to hear. Thanks a lot for this.

peace,
-Tp
5311, RE: 15 POUNDS
Posted by cre8or, Sat Jun-07-03 04:01 AM
you are very welcome...I'm glad it can touch people like that...
5312, Big up
Posted by BadNewsBrown, Sat Jun-07-03 10:55 AM
ANd nuff respec! For real, me and my girl was just talkin bout all this. she a big girl and I'm tryna get her size so I can buy her a fuckin piece a lingerie (you know, them babydolls) but she aint givin me her size. I'm like 'tha fuck you care I'm you BOYFRIEND! But that shit runs deep and you put it very well indeed. Every girl I've dealt with has had these issues but i love when a big girl comes to realize her true beauty, even if she has to drop libs to do it.

all right now ima jump offa that literal dick. when I see some 'not-up-to-par-cre8or-ish' ima be like:
"Girl!!!! You better BRING it!"

much love, and in the words of Monique "Fuck you skinny BITCHES!!"

BadNewsBrown aka tHe bEAntOwn BoMber aka Vinnie the Black Mafioso

`````.....`.`.`.`.`Quotes of tha moment````...```

"Don't feel bad fer losin'. I was wrestlin' wolves back when you were still at your mother's TEAT!" - Groundskeeper Willie

Life's not a bitch life is a beautiful woman/ you only call her a bitch cause she won't let you get that pussy - Aesop Rock


"hey ay haay....













....smoke weed every day" - ND
5313, RE: Big up
Posted by BadNewsBrown, Mon Jun-09-03 09:15 AM

>all right now ima jump offa that literal dick. when I see
>some 'not-up-to-par-cre8or-ish' ima be like:
>"Girl!!!! You better BRING it!"

i meant figurative. yeesh!


REDEYES BLACK DRAGON/BEANTOWN BOMBER









"nuff said!"