i would walk away and he would say "wait! we're not done talking"
he would always say that...
as if i couldn't read every single one of his thoughts from his kisses or his held back tears
but i would indulge him & stay
i would listen to his words and breathe in his sorrow
(b/c after all i had magical powers to make them disappear)
this was a cycle- the argument, the extended moment of silence,
the yearned for kiss, the hug and then the talk- in reality it was the same conversation with different words
attached to it; we would share i love you's and i'm sorry's and i missed you's- and then
a few days, weeks or short months later
the inevitable would happen
he would not call or i would say something tactless
(as i tend to do when i'm mad... it's my nature)
and we stop communcation
then after the seasons would come and go, new loves would come and cum and go,
he would call me or it would call him
and it would start again
& everytime it would be more intense:
it was no longer i love you it was I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH,
i miss you became I NEED TO SEE YOU
i thought about you last night was replaced with I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT THINKING ABOUT ALL THE SHIT YOU DID & DIDN'T SAY
walk away/walk back, turn away/turn back, dismiss/embrace
& everyone asks "why do you continue to go back?"
& i answer them telling them that there's always
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I NEED YOU
I NEED YOU
I NEED YOU
I WANT YOU
I WANT YOU
I WANT YOU
YOU...ARE...A...PART...OF...ME...
& because noone (other than him) has ever been able to make the room disappear when they kiss me
it all started in '99 and it's still going on
but at the same time it's not.
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more to come