completely self indulgent. but...
folk that know me, know that i am so not one of those 'it's all about me' kinda women. i'm not apologizing, i'm just saying.

now, i feel like writing about jon...

he got me and his daddy
all rolled up and tangled
inside of his head and heart

he got his brother
anchored to his shoulders

he got his uncle
peripheral vision constant light

i usta think he had nothing of mine
like his daddy just pissed on the ground
and said be something
and jon was born from that

but jon aint a boy no more

he a man that has a little less slink in his walk
and a little more love in his heart
he moves as if to say
i am my father's creation
but i am my mother's son

he got plenty of me in him

the boy whose...
brother's murder and uncle's death
cuddle close together like lovers
in autumn

the boy whose...
abandonment from his father and smothering love from his mother
are like hot and cold spinning together
in spring

the boy whose...
thoughts run deep to his center
heating and thickening up his soul like rain
in summer

that boy
that man

somewhere along the line
sometime right in front of my face
stood up and reminded me that...

he was born in winter

i see him different now
more of me in him than i knew
the best part of his father
but mostly
i see him grown
a man aside from circumstances
an individual searching for a way to be
free

how could i possibly
deny him the journey?