tho i love my children
i am not with them
tho i send their mother
due proportion of my own income
it is not enough
three baies know their father but distance keeps
them apart from loves need to hold flesh
i know i love my children and they too love me
but my reality speaks i left them
a dis ease erased purpose
and found me desiring everything but them
I left them and their brothers and sister
long before i knew they were coming
the truth speaks and i do not hide
i would cry now but tears dry have fallen too long
to claim emotions need for meaning\
i stand a man working his way back to heavens Grace a day at a time
no one can say i really will live long enough
to make this day paradise for them
but still i try
a letter sent from child support almost
caught me ungrateful as i swaer before God I hurt
deeply for this wreckage doesn't seem to leave me
while these words may cross a divide as wide as the Mississippi]
I can't cry a river forever
so i rize at dawn to work for benefits
that still are not enough as i still give in to distraction cause this enemy lives within me
no woman by this side anylonger
i have too many times found issues to many to reduce the pain
so they too must go along with every true memory
that Love did exist in moments
my baby girl needs me so do tose boys but i am here digging
a shallow grave so i may be found alive
my parents loved till the last breath of his breath met hers on February 25th 2008 now Paradise opens again
a granfather am i trying to hold true to the generation
of believers that brought me through lonely years
crack dreams never have i but the obsession
to be needed finds me leaving all responsiblity just to feel real
compulsion set free to deaden the heart to honesty's gift...freedom
i digress in this moment waiting for God to make something
from the depth of dark clouds over me
a call from the heart asks simply will we ever be together before death knocks on the door again?
she cry's i cannot hear those boy's eyes i do not see as they reach for the sky in body
there are days when reality speaks and all i wish to do is hide but this day
reality speaks so i share for strength to be found in Me
my son's rays beam brightly as those born in the 80's
become men hoping the streets don't hold them long before the Love their mother gave kicks in...see twice i have been given three


thank you rebecca dupas for your spoken word called "needy"
you gave me the power to carry this out and i cried that river and was washed in the water found in knowing "reality speaks"

findher here http://www.myspace.com/rebeccadupas