ok, we're doing a Topic and a Word (not obviously related to topic)that must be used in the piece.

Auriz Deep
BarTek
topic: alien abduction
word: snow

the best part
blaksilence
topic: innuendo
word: scandinavian

daniemuse
HellBoy
topic: write from the perspective of a white child watching a group (or one) of grownup(s) whipping or beating a descendant of africans
word: dandruff

jay fever
Jon
topic/word: WE NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE US A TOPIC & UNRELATED WORD! ANY TAKERS? WHOEVER REPLIES FIRST IS WHAT WE'LL USE.

knowledge3754
madnis
topic: being unconscious-right before, during, and right after sleep
word: guitar

MiracleRic
ToeJam
topic: nichtophobia (fear of the dark)
word: vinyl

Whateva
willi dudat
topic: squeeling glocks
word: flower(s)

empro: you iboxed me today, didn't make the deadline, BUT if you can get someone else to join and submit to my inbox by Saturday morning (thus meeting everyone else's deadline), have THEM send me a PM with their verse, and YOU send me one with your verse. so if we get one more person,
the topic will be: Frankenstein
the word will be: Neptune

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now that everyone has their topic, you all have until next Saturday at high noon (12:00pm in Boston/New York/Philly time zone) to write your piece and send it to my inbox. why high noon? that's when i get out of work lol.
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jay fever (or anyone facing me in a given round) still sends the piece to me like everyone else, but can also send it to MiracleRic (who offered to help) and ANY OTHER PARTICIPANT of his/her choosing so he/she can be assured i'm not tampering or cheating.
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PLEASE FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTION (to make life 10 times easier):

when you send your piece to my inbox, put your name AND the person you're facing in the SUBJECT line like "Auriz Deep vs BarTek".

then inside the content area, title your piece with your name, like this:

ToeJam:

sfdsajfidojoijojojo
fsdjioasdjifosjoaa
jidsoajfosidajafoi
jfdioajfdiosjfaoa

jdfioajdoifajofidaj
jdfoiajdfoajofdsj
jfdisoafjsdoaifjosad
jsdioafjasoiasjo

dsfahduifhasifhsdai
dshfuidahiufhasifhda
dfhauifdhifahidsia
dfhsiuhfdiufshisdfhsi
.
o
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which brings us to LENGTH:
-the piece can be as long or short as you want. just be aware of the risks you take making something extremely short (people might not be impressed if it isn't very very potent) or extremely long (people might start skimming if they have to read an entire novel)
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if and when i get eliminated, i'm still going to be here for you folks. i still, after all, get the fun job of choosing words and topics and reading this stuff.
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I NEED ALL OF YOU to help me out with this one: how long should we leave each round up for voting until counting them all up? another week (making each round a 2 week endeavor)? you can reply here with your suggestions/comments.
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if i left anything out, reply here with the much needed guidance.

just for everyone's own reference


KNOWLEDGE:
1.a love-story(how many mcs can do this w/o being corny)
2.alien abduction
3.a story from the perspective of a cartoon(or tv show) character
4.how u spend your time
5.how u started rappin
6.your definition of an mc or who you think are great mcs
7.bush or politics in general

WILLI DUDAT:
-how bout plastic surgery (ie botox, fake tits *can i say tits...oops i said it again*...LOL)
-which brings me to another topic: censorship...
-science
-addiction

TOE JAM:
a)animal instincts
b)the boondocks
c)christmas
d)the almight dollar
e)earth
f)flesh
g)genocide
h)homeless
i)innuendo
j)jedi
k)karma
l)the lox
m)media
n)n-word
o)outer space
p)pasta
q)quid pro quo
r)running for president
s)sabatage
t)oeJam
u)underwear
v)vision
w)weed
x)xenophobia
y)your job
z)ummm, how 'bout the zoo

DANIEMUSE:
nichtophobia (fear of the dark)
ice cream
your first love
the Simpsons
trees
mirrors
if you had x-ray vision
being a turntable
your biggest regret
being a teardrop

AURIZ DEEP:
-Sittin, maybe anxious, waitin for somethin to happen during which you can make a HUGE decision---(Yeah that's a lil specific, but we're lookin at how the conveyence of the two verses compare, so...)
-Makin the whole underlyin meaning/plot of a given movie into a verse-
-Bein Unconscious- -Right before, during, and right after sleep-

WHATEVA:
-Money
-War
-Sex
-Suggestions: add a few "must use" words or subtopics to each topic that have to be incorporated into the rhyme. Like if the topic was "war", for instance, the words you would have to use are Fallujah, Nazis, preemptive, and genocide
^^
Jon speaking: I'm going to use this suggestion, but for extra fun, it will be a word that is NOT an obvious fit to the topic.

THE BEST PART:
-a tree
-a bird
-a river
-water
-fire
-earth
-youth
-community
-gentics
-history
-anxiety
-death
-forbidden love
-guilt
-pleasure
-parenthood
-childhood
-family
-picking a song and writing a verse to it. or writing a dedication verse to your fav artists.
-roll playing? write from the perspective of a person, a place or thing.

MIRACLE RIC:
-bruised and fat eyes
-black tribes
-crack ties
-building blocks
-squeeling glocks
-precision persistence
-the decisions of infants
-love lost
-lust found
-grub costs
-and bust downs
-nightchilds
-and nice smiles
-chill times with ill dimes
-blood and ink
-drugs and drink
-skills shine

JAY FEVER:
-Butter
-Waterguns
-Grafitti
-Boob Jobs
-Staples
-Genocide
-Care Bears
-Frankenstein
-World Hunger

BARTEK:
-Love
-Energy
-Revolution
-Knowledge of Self
-Tormenting Thoughts
-Rage
-Growing Up
-Dying
-Family
-God
-Religion

BLAKSILENCE:
-Nature (you said not to take any of yours but i have to at least include this one)

MADNIS:
-being in the shoes of someone in a tragedy

>jay fever
>Jon
>topic/word: WE NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE US A TOPIC & UNRELATED
>WORD! ANY TAKERS? WHOEVER REPLIES FIRST IS WHAT WE'LL USE.

hmm?

how bout this:TOPIC--space travel
WORD---cheese


hmm? hmmm?

i respectfully withdraw from this tourney. my apologies to any inconvenience this may have caused.

in a real respectful way tho

eh.

i was lookin forward to it too. to participating in general. but i know my efforts would be lackluster right now. so much other stuff going on. but i will be watching from the sidelines while i attempt to fix whatever it is going askew in my creative pockets right now.

im confused about what the hell my topic means. being unconscious before during and after sleep????? sorry if i sound stupid but could someone explain that a lil?
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

the zone you're in when you're not conscious

the zone you're in when you're between unconsciousness and consciousness...like when you're half in a dream, sexing your imaginary wife, and half aware of the pillow you're smelling.


but shit. maybe it means being KO'd.

maybe it means being oblivious.


Auriz Deep should really be asked.

PS: i think part of the fun is watching each other interpret this stuff, but i'll try to contact Mr Deep for you. then i'll inbox both you and madnis.

this is an ill idea- is it gonna get an anchor?

True. I second the Anchor, MAN!!!

BTW, I've got mine in.... Good Luck Tekkie

....and I just submitted my piece. Let me know if you didn't receive it for some reason.
D

fourthed
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

and i like a week for voting. i vote best when i can take my time to read entries, and a week would def be enough time for each round. but maybe voting time should be shortened once a round only entails like 4 entries perhaps?
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

I just returned from a tuff work trip... so i'd like to submit by saturday evening if that's okay... please!

peace

~After 12, I'm worse than a gremlin, feed me Hip Hop and I start trembling! (c) Rakim

~Yes to Sex.. No to War.. Fighting is Frightening.. Yes to Sex.. It's so Much More Exciting! (c) BEP

http://www.myspace.com/bartek
http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek

Up. Mine is in.

~
True indeed, knahmsayin, but when it's real you doin this even without a record contract, knahmsayin? ~ Nas
No question! ~ AZ

http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek/

still waiting on:

MiracleRic
madnis
Hellboy
BarTek
empro
blaksilence
jay fever


so...since the idea is to post each Match as ONE post (so voting can make visual sense), those of us who HAVE submitted already won't have our pieces up yet, unless people have another course of action they'd like to suggest (i'm open to everything).

but to you slow-pokes: lets go lets go! we want to see what everyone does with these topics, including YOU! *dresses as uncle sam and points finger through your monitor*

There needs to be a penalty for being late, yo. It's not right for me to have to put mine out on time, even tho I would have preffered more time, and my opponent to be lackadaisicle, have extra days, and not be penalized. Not having a penalty makes having a time-limit pointless.

My suggestion is for every day late, the offender looses a vote or two.

Everybody has a life. Does writing fit?

Peace.

encourage more writing and inspiration from people more than to find a winner. the tourney is a fun way of spurring each others' creativity, so i don'
but then again, if things aren't going to be fair, and some of us cram into a deadline, while other people take their time, that too could discourage people such as yourself.

basically, i want to hear what more heads think before i make any decisions, BUT i'm taking your suggestions very seriously, because i think you make a great case.

There def. needs to be a penalty. I understand where you're coming from Jon about this being a fun way to spur creativity, but at the same time this IS a tourney and there ARE rules to it. If you want to take your time and post something, then do a random post on your own time, but if you're gonna be in a tournament, abide by the rules or suffer some consequences. I think losing some votes is a fair consequence.
D

about 40% of the "participants" have yet to ummm...participate.

the rest of you have already sent me your verses. i've been holding onto them, waiting for your opponent to give me something, but now we're 24 hours BEYOND the weekend, and some of you might feel jipped if your opponent gets to arrive late and still have just as much of a shot as you at moving to the next round.

but, at the same time, a lot of us still want to see what they write as well, and don't want to scare off participation in what has the potential to be a great goldmine of inspiring work.

so here's a few of my ideas, please give me feedback and what you think:

1. we continue to wait it out and deduct a vote or 2 from the late members once they submit

2. we assume they AREN'T participating and cut if down to those of us who have already submitted, which would lead to one of 2 options
2a. i then just post everyone's verses just for show and general feedback and we try again with new pairings and topics
or
2b. we match people up who have posted but with their diff verses and topics, and the voters will have to compare apples and oranges (aka "who did their topic the best, even though they didn't have the same topic")


3. last option i can think of right now at 12:09 am tonight is we just keep waiting and DON'T dock any points, thus encouraging the slow-pokes to still participate, since this is all for fun and good times anyway


what do you folks think? any other suggestions? its late and i'm new at this stuff.

see my response above, but in terms of your possible solutions, I'd say some how, the hard work that has been done should be showcased in some way or else it was all in vain. Definitely have a cut off and move on though. The longer we wait on stragglers, the more people/participants lose interest.
D

deduct a vote everyday, after 3 deductions declare KO and the other person moves on to next round
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

TOPIC: squealing glocks
WORD: flower(s)
(read both, then reply with your vote in the subject line)

Whateva:

The stench of the mortally wounded, sprayed in my alley way
duel til the death, lead breaks the flesh, a cruel policy
the promise of engineered defeat, heat's oddyssey
ya heat, the source of fear and success on these streets
the tools you use to pluck them grass blades from ya cleats
in the summer the sun's down, school's out, tools out
elders protect da children, bid over, fools out
thread of lead unraveled til the spools out of material
the killings ain't serial, it's war, it's more spiritual
The Devil adopts the scared, an evil deed's a demon's miracle
trust invested into nine millimeters piercing ya ear lobes
squeeling glocks, spilling warm shells on the block
the sealing of 80's rock dealers last breaths at the top
the prophets, the Harry Potters, downed in goblets of fire
these kids, the flowers, the gifted, who never made it through thewire
sifted, respected, the sect that never settled for second
soldiers that quit dabbling in crack and peddled blessings

.
.
.
.
.

willi_dudat:

okay quick scenario, given the common tale,
that the fate of ghetto children is death and/or jail;
the story i tell, we know too well,
but hell's bells chime,
death arrives with the whine of a flat line:
the names change but the report remains the same,
its fair game that aimed flame maims ya frame;
brought to abrupt halt, suffered aggy assault,
from an onslaught of squealin glocks set off by default:
the un-named owed us and failed to pay the debt,
thought it swept under rug, but none done so yet;
how soon some fo'get but there's only one atonement,
for blatant disrespect, the neglect and postponement:
matter of time 'fore the goons caught on,
unmarked cars sent shots rocket powered like von braun;
now dude's moms gotta make paul bearer assignments,
flower alignments, newly entwined in consignment:

n/m

~
True indeed, knahmsayin, but when it's real you doin this even without a record contract, knahmsayin? ~ Nas
No question! ~ AZ

http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek/
http://www.myspace.com/bartek

willi dudat

neither came especially creative but whateva's was more vivid

wit a topic like that i would've expected someone to go wild with it, describe a glock blastin in detail(gunpowder exploding or somethin). but still both were tight, just whateva internal rhymes and descriptions were better. very honorable mention to willi for sneakin a lil social commentary in there, if it was based solely on content and not lyricism you would have won my vote
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

>wit a topic like that i would've expected someone to go wild
>with it, describe a glock blastin in detail(gunpowder
>exploding or somethin).

Good bout.

a lot of visual lines favorite two:
1) duel til the death, lead breaks the flesh, a cruel policy
2) elders protect da children, bid over, fools out

willi dudat favorite two (besides the flower line):
1) death arrives with the whine of a flat line
2) how soon some fo'get but there's only one atonement,
for blatant disrespect, the neglect and postponement

TOPIC: alien abduction
WORD: snow
(read both, then vote by naming your pick in the subject line)


Auriz Deep:

Seduced by an Alien
-------------------
I woke up in the middle of the night
Dozed off after tryin ta correct what's already right
So to my delight, I see my woman in the finest of secreehhhhts
Then I look again, why she look so freakehhh?
She musta caught me peekeeehhhnnn, cuz now she just keepeeehhhnnn
Zappin me with a laser beam, fryin my insides with a tazer screen
But she look so sexeeehhhh, when her upper scales are bluish green
And all of a sudden, she musta gotten really wise
Cuz she's got that artificial intelligence in her eyes
She's bright as the snow outside, and in her mental guise
She whispers, "(we) |Come| Follow Me, Baby (in peace)"
So I took the hint, and let myself at ease
And all of a sudden, it feel like a dream
She anti-alcoholic, but she so hypnotic
And while actin all erotic she's tellin me her scheme
She's got ambitions, said she's gonna take over the world
It's the reason why she deserves so many pearls
And let that NASA flag unfurl...
An astronaut? Oh you not? From this nation of ours?
A foreign alien? So you recieved your powers?
From hours of trainin at GAMMA Delta Phive?
Sorry I don't remember, I can't keep it alphabetized...

+-------------------:
+-------------------:
+-------------------:
+-------------------:
+-------------------:

BarTek:

~Alien Abducting~
================
Cold blue steel
Sleek shark beauty feel
Deadly still my body reels
My disoriented filter-less eyes
Stark contrast
Unearthly atmosphere
Silence framed by sharpened howls
My own
Coarse paranoia patronizing my sense
My tongue turned inward
Fear tasted my flesh
Licking my torn vocal cords
Soothing memories of distant whispers
I am human
I am
Alive
I think
I am going to drown in my
Throat
Somebody
Please
...
..
.
..
...
Now awake
Resplendent Shining
Warmth enveloping erect sex I am
Clothed by unseen flesh
.
Ohhh paaassssioonnnateee releaseee!!!
.
My monster dick begins to feast
Eating the air with angry gulps
I scream into the yeast
More! more you fucking whore!!!
The substance of my fury is birthed
Splendid white semen invades the tested air above me
Taking shape above me
A pool of my giving
Suspended above me
Filling
Turning Red
Swirling
Hypnotizing
Searing the pulp from my loins
Tearing life from my growth
I cannot give anymore
I am drying from within
What is happening
To me!
...
..
.
.
..
...
Precious oxygen
Encapsulate my flesh
Mould the teeth of my passing reverence
I am hourly drowning in black powder
Ohhh sweet death!!!
Please shape my spine with your blade
I cannot swallow, nor spit
My lungs, contracting and expanding too quickly
This is unnatural!!!
I have no control, I am to endure
The explosion of my gentle flesh
Burning mash fattens my arteries
Bones shaven, my marrow fused with hissing gas
Panic setting paradise ablaze
What is happening
To meeeeeeee!!!!
...
..
.
I am Human
.
I Think
.
..
...
My body whole
Eyes open
A figure still
Commands
.
"We Only Wish For You To Understand"
.
Understand!?
Understand what you fucking lunatics!!!!
Where the fuck am I?
What the fuck are you doing to me?!!!
.
Why is my blood speaking?
Still lips command
My loved ones take form before me
Torrent nightmares seep into the cracks of my consciousness
I begin to violate
Each thought is a lethal act of righteous indignation
An unleashing of hidden rage sourced by my now screaming blood
.
Tearing away bits of flesh and hair in my greedy fists
Stuffing my stomach
Biting on my elbow as my deepened arm fills me to the brim
Pushing scattered remains into my asshole
Trying to conceal what I have done
.
I am..
.
But Am I? Human?
.
No
I am alien disposition
I have abducted the very soul
.
I m alien
I understand
I am
Alien
...
..
.
.
.
.
..
...
Eyes
Large black eyes
Piercing intelligence
Shimmering in the depths are
Calculated angles
Cascading triangles and squares
Spinning octagons
Within this iris
Beautiful black snow
Measuring my decent to Earth

I understand

I am Human
I am Vanity
I am Lust
I am War

Abducted
Forged to Digest My very own Humanity
My Greed
My Lust
My War

I understand
I am snow
Freezing the warmth
Killing the born
I am Alien

Abducting Humanity

Lost in Space and Time


Find me...

~~~

n/m

mad creative, effective/descriptive writing

disconcerting and suspensful...ur voice was amazing, particularly in the beginning

Auriz...u didnt do a bad job by any means...but yours was less structured, less creative (although it was out there)...it didnt pull me into it

great job guys...Bartek

had the better story. auriz urs was good, but kinda felt old, like i'd heard parts of it before. maybe this wasnt ur favorite topic?

never thought a poem could beat a rhyme for me...
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

BarTek got really creative, but I think went a little overboard.

n/m

sorry...

i'd seen madnis drop out like eight hours ago and thought i should start on mine.
but then i looked at the topic and got confused. "okay, talk about washin ya ass before during and after washin ya body"
but i'm on it

i thought this was on a bar for bar tip. yanno, rhymes, not poetry. (had something to do with my reasons for withdrawing). even tho almost half of the participants have yet to participate, i like what i've seen so far and look forward to seeing the rest of it.

n/m

i'll be inboxing you in a little while

TOPIC: nichtophobia (fear of the dark)
WORD: vinyl

(read both, then vote with YOUR CHOICE'S NAME IN THE SUBJECT LINE)

MiracleRic will be deducted 2 votes, for being 2 days late.


.
.
.
MiracleRic:

Title: "dusk upon my lips"

the cold of night burns

fiery whispers of lost love extinguishes candles

we wax and wane…old flames on vinyl

audio-visual sunlight

your goodbye kiss…was dusk upon my lips

night creeps closely along its misty trail

of doubt that day may return...

blissful memories of moonlight

barely eclipse the panic

of lunar loneliness

those pale tendrils of hope

are fatally beautiful...

darkness is the death of our love

nocturnal sirens sing the eulogy

sunset-hued hearses carry our dawn-colored caskets

carried by undead pall bearers…

my flesh pushes up flowers of faith

panic sweat and tears serve as dew

desperate demons claw through straightjackets

dread is far too tolerable

a description of this disorder

the nightlight of your voice is therapeutic

the unknown doesn’t exist in your embrace

|----------------|
|----------------|
|----------------|
|----------------|
|----------------|


ToeJam:

America has monsters in the closet
that are constantly evolving
A battle with its shadow with the arguments revolving

We live our lives like prison
never quite risen
when attacked we adapt, s’how we tapped night vision

see, that light hitting…?

we absorb it
so when in orbit
we’re planning in the dark just like yr Lord did
for something as pure as darkness I’m hesitant to find
cuz it predates the big bang AND intelligent design

they telling you be blind
only look at the bright side
ignore the darkness
when it’s what we should start with
and learn to harness
see this history’s heartless
they love to see us struggling
asleep on a park bench
made from the trees we hung from
another conundrum
roaming the gloaming ‘til the sun’s done
soaking in us and the heat is captured
taking their wrath and creating our rapture
Darker than the vinyl that records our attack words
Darker than the message when you play that shit backwards

Our country ain’t just nichtophobic, they niggaphobic
scared of the past, not daring to ask
rather the dark be jettison,
make you wish Thomas Edison never let us in
on his invention, I’ve just been in the darkroom
developing a plan
on how to get the darkness enveloping the land
and finally evolve from this brutal mind state
you’ll see my point when you let your pupils dilate

n/m

n/m

you'd be surprised how good ur piece goes with the "all about the bejamins" instrumental...neway i love the commentary, the lyrical skill was there

great lines:
soaking in us and the heat is captured/
taking their wrath and creating our rapture/

as for miracle, i just didnt feel it. the piece felt uninspired
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

n/m

He covered a lot in his bars.

I thought Ric painted a more immediate fear of the dark,
The imagery was very nice,

Peace

@}-,-`-

True indeed, knahmsayin, but when it's real you doin this even without a record contract, knahmsayin? ~ Nas
No question! ~ AZ

http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek/
http://www.myspace.com/bartek

yours was beautiful

- I write battle verses to Mariah Carey songs...
www.webspawner.com/users/delicateaurasoul4/index.html
This is a great website to discuss spirituality/religion, philosophies, and post poems:www.aware-discussion.net

...on poem "versus" another- just doesnt feel right

seeing hot stuff up there tho

which has a larger, or more profound affect, which do u relate to more, structure comes into play, who was more creative with the topic, its just like any battle...u weigh the strengths of one poem to the other

its weird comparing 2 things that u dont normally compare but its no different then comparing apples and oranges

apples have great texture, but oranges are sweeter...go with ya gut

>apples have great texture, but oranges are sweeter

I never broke it down like that, LOL. Now I'ma be in the market checkin apples for texture. LOL

i know how to make comparisons but in poetry there are so many different elements you cant always say something is better unless something just outright sucks

its obvious apples are sweeter than oranges but sometimes im in the mood for orange juice and sometimes its apple

with rhymes its a style of writing where theres defined elements and it lends itself to voting

anyways only reason i said that is cause normally i try to vote on everything cause i think its whack to expect feedback and criticism on here without giving nothing back

funny how i cant say shit on here without certain people hating

you continuallyh blow up your own spots

>i know how to make comparisons but in poetry there are so
>many different elements you cant always say something is
>better unless something just outright sucks

the same could be said for rhyming/battle verses

to me, flow is very important, to someone else... punchlines mean everything, u weigh the different elements...the elements of comparison in poetry are similar to those in other verses...flow/voice, imagery, emotive effect, alliteration, its like comparing females, or anything, exhibit A is better at this but Exhibit B was great at this, and whichever "this" u value more is probably gonna be ur winner, choosing women can be hard because they are people (people are so multi-faceted), but ive done it, u saying it doesnt feel right just sounds moreso lazy or indecisive rather then it actually being "unnatural"...people judge slam competitions all the time

>its obvious apples are sweeter than oranges but sometimes im
>in the mood for orange juice and sometimes its apple

i think oranges are sweeter, but we dont have to agree

>with rhymes its a style of writing where theres defined
>elements and it lends itself to voting

how is poetry different, if u dont like poetry fine, but if something stands out about a poem moreso then another, then...i dunno, just b/c u vote certain way doesnt make one poem any less then the other


>anyways only reason i said that is cause normally i try to
>vote on everything cause i think its whack to expect feedback
>and criticism on here without giving nothing back

i dont have much to say here is not offering anything, if u can comment on poetry u can make an observation on which poem u would prefer to read/hear

>funny how i cant say shit on here without certain people
>hating
>
>you continuallyh blow up your own spots

how is this hate, if i came at u like...

"ur dumb as shit for not being able to compare poetry or knowing that oranges are sweeter then oranges"

that's hating, im just informing you that generally, anything can be compared, in each comparison, there is usually a preference unless they are exactly alike...its not rocket science at all and this has nothing to do with hate, if jesus himself was like "i dont know how to compare poetry"

id be like "jesus, just pick the one that stood out"

who was more creative?
were there any lines that stood out to you?
which could u relate more to?
which flowed better?
was it creative?
any wordplay? humor? alliteration? imagery?

and if one stands out for more of these aspects...then guess what, u just picked which one u would vote for at the moment

oops

.

obviously anything can be subjectives but in rhyming the elements are more defined-

which made me bob my head more? (flow)

which made me laugh more? (or was more intelligent/creative)

better rhyming? (more complexity less stuff ive seen)

with a poem to me its not as simple as which do i prefer different poems do different things and can made through completely different elements

how are you hating? i dont mean hate in terms of unjustified criticism directly but you simply consistently come at me with unnecessary negativity- dont be mad you got a lot of company- i expressed my opinion and then even reiterated it and you in here trying to argue and back and forth- thats all i got to say on this feel free to disagree

i'm just allowing people to approach it anyhow they choose. we'll judge on what we like.

that shit was ill

i didnt vote on it cause its a rhyme vs. a poem- i dont even know how i would really decide that

"well vote on what we like??" you implying im telling you not to? im just explaining my absence cause it would seem weird for me to vote on one and not the rest- and cause i always try to step in and support battles and tourneys and i didnt want to be seen as sleeping on this one. if people feel more comfortable voting on poetry than i do go ahead its just not for me

i'm not ToeJam either. i haven't posted yet, because i was trying to give my opponent a chance to submit, but the wait is getting out of hand now.

>"well vote on what we like??" you implying im telling you not
>to?

nah dude. i was merely encouraging you to look at each piece for what it is, check out what you like about it ("ooo thats some cool imagery" or "man i like that rhyme scheme" or "that is so touching")...and then tell us which one you enjoyed reading more.


>im just explaining my absence cause it would seem weird
>for me to vote on one and not the rest- and cause i always try
>to step in and support battles and tourneys and i didnt want
>to be seen as sleeping on this one. if people feel more
>comfortable voting on poetry than i do go ahead its just not
>for me

oh no by all means vote on anything you like, even if it's just one match. or even if it's all but one match. definitely enjoy the tourney in your way you know? and this isn't just "poetry" like i said. you'll find a lot of heads are gonna be writing stuff i believe is meant to be spit (i've seen a bunch that haven't been posted yet).

cool i just thought you felt i was implying something in there so i wanted to clarify

i dig this tourney very much and i will be commenting for sure but i dont expect to be voting on any poems or mixed battles unless something really jumps out at me

i really dig this idea tho man

>
>
>
>topic: write from the perspective of a white child watching a
>group (or one) of grownup(s) whipping or beating a descendant
>of africans
>>topic: being unconscious-right before, during, and right after
>sleep
>word: guitar
>
>MiracleRic
>ToeJam
>topic: nichtophobia (fear of the dark)
>word: vinyl

I'M HAVIN VISIONS OF ALIEN ABDUCTIONS IN THE SNOW...INNUENDO...SCANDINAVIAN HOES...SLAVES BEATEN WIT HOSE...LITTLE KID CRYIN SCREAMIN AT HIS DADDY , NO!...HE'S UNCONSCIOUS B4 AND AFTER HE SLEEPS...HE DOESN'T KNOW...OBLIVIOUS TO THE STREETS...SO PLEASE JUST LET HIM GO...HIS GUITAR CAN'T HURT YOU...DON'T BE A RACIAL NICHTOPHOBE...SHOWIN FEAR FOR HIS DARK SKIN...THE TEARS FALL LIKE DANDRUFF BECAUSE THET FROZE FROM THE COLD CAUSE HIS HEARTS THIN...IT WAS MARCH THEN...TURN TEFLON TO VINYL WHEN SQUEELING GLOCKS LEAVE FLOWER ARRAINGMENTS ON THE PARK BENCH...I SMELL A HARSH STENCH...LIGHTENING STRIKES...FRANKENSTEIN'S FLESH BURNS CALL EM NEPTUNE CAUSE NOW HE'S TORCHED FISH...AND THAT'S WORD...I TOOK ALL YALL TOPICS AND ALL YALL UNRELATED WORDS...AND LINKED THEM TOGETHER USING UNRELATED CURVES...ANGELS AND EAGLES HAVE WINGS BUT STILL ARE UNRELATED BIRDS...





GET AT ME PEOPLE...FEEDBACK PLEASE.


LOVERS LOVE, HATERS HATE, I'M JUST DESTINED TO BE GREAT~~DIGGA

>>
>>
>>
>>topic: write from the perspective of a white child watching
>a
>>group (or one) of grownup(s) whipping or beating a
>descendant
>>of africans
>>>topic: being unconscious-right before, during, and right
>after
>>sleep
>>word: guitar
>>
>>MiracleRic
>>ToeJam
>>topic: nichtophobia (fear of the dark)
>>word: vinyl
>
>I'M HAVIN VISIONS OF ALIEN ABDUCTIONS IN THE
>SNOW...INNUENDO...SCANDINAVIAN HOES...SLAVES BEATEN WIT
>HOSE...LITTLE KID CRYIN SCREAMIN AT HIS DADDY , NO!...HE'S
>UNCONSCIOUS B4 AND AFTER HE SLEEPS...HE DOESN'T
>KNOW...OBLIVIOUS TO THE STREETS...SO PLEASE JUST LET HIM
>GO...HIS GUITAR CAN'T HURT YOU...DON'T BE A RACIAL
>NICHTOPHOBE...SHOWIN FEAR FOR HIS DARK SKIN...THE TEARS FALL
>LIKE DANDRUFF BECAUSE THET FROZE FROM THE COLD CAUSE HIS
>HEARTS THIN...IT WAS MARCH THEN...TURN TEFLON TO VINYL WHEN
>SQUEELING GLOCKS LEAVE FLOWER ARRAINGMENTS ON THE PARK
>BENCH...I SMELL A HARSH STENCH...LIGHTENING
>STRIKES...FRANKENSTEIN'S FLESH BURNS CALL EM NEPTUNE CAUSE NOW
>HE'S TORCHED FISH...AND THAT'S WORD...I TOOK ALL YALL TOPICS
>AND ALL YALL UNRELATED WORDS...AND LINKED THEM TOGETHER USING
>UNRELATED CURVES...ANGELS AND EAGLES HAVE WINGS BUT STILL ARE
>UNRELATED BIRDS...
>
>
>
>
>
>GET AT ME PEOPLE...FEEDBACK PLEASE.
>
>
>LOVERS LOVE, HATERS HATE, I'M JUST DESTINED TO BE
>GREAT~~DIGGA
>

great idea. great execution. that flower line was great (the type of thing i was hoping for when i put that word with that topic)

i would have spit a few bars if i knew this was a verse tourney. i thought anything goes. peace

@}-,-`-

True indeed, knahmsayin, but when it's real you doin this even without a record contract, knahmsayin? ~ Nas
No question! ~ AZ

http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek/
http://www.myspace.com/bartek

TOPIC: being unconscious-right before, during, and right after sleep
WORD: guitar
(read both, then vote with the name of your pick IN THE SUBJECT LINE)

(also, muddywaters JUST offered to fill in, so he was only given a day to produce...meaning even though this match is late, no points are being deducted from anyone)
.
.
.

knowledge3754:

yo i write rhymes in darkness, pen spills on parchment/
sleepwalkin thru mental battlefields playin guitar kid/
pickin up pads like dads in cvs/
proceedin to inscript all these words i manifest/
concepts for songs planned out in counsciousness/
but when i'm dead to the world is when God wanna bless/
knowledge...with the words Satan wish he coulda defeated/
no thoughts needed, warnings is bound to go unheeded/
my flow speedeth off to galaxies unknown/
while u catch z's, my inner monologue is never dial tone/
travelin inside my mind, unaware of time's design/
slippin away and losin it before i finish the rhyme/
:
:
:---:
:---:
:---:
:---:
:---:
:---:
:---:
:
:
muddywaters:

thoughts were paralyzed as the energy was drained
sometimes, it’s too hard to maintain or sustain
didn’t notice the pencil had slip from my grasp
it’s not helping that i'm sittin in this boring ass class
knowledge? more like nyquil on the brain
did i mention that the bus drove us here through the rain
apparently, all the elements converged at sleep’s place
and arranged for ms. desk to blind date my face
you know the feelin, tryin to take notes of teachers quotes
get back to the lab and can’t read what you wrote
or she callin out your name, you can’t repeat what she spoke
sandman tied that noose in the rope there’s no hope
time slows like turntables losing power
a minute turns into a hour
when you watchin the clock
sleep pointed the glock and then shot
in the operating room consciousness had lost
seein weird shit that no man comprehends
is usually the way when visiting slumberland
abraham lincoln built great walls in japan
as dissected frogs two-step with fractians
obviously, what was being taught was caught
by my mind’s net and then tossed
like salad in bowls, then let loose without control
now mona lisa, stole my visa, to buy reefa
imagine, a world where anything can happen
egar allen poe had crows that he hoe’d
i bought one cause i never tried that befoe
unbuckled my belt and pulled down my pants
and awoke to find out i had my dick in my hand
would’ve been embarrassed except for that
the place i always sat in the class was in the back
still a little dazed so i’m sure there were stars
above my head like when el cabong clocks cats with his guitar
3 more minutes before it’s time to go
probably borrow notes later when i hook up with roscoe

n/m

Knowledge had more complex rhymes, but muddy's was more creative.

thorough verse.

n/m

HellBoy's been KO'd.

TOPIC: write from the perspective of a white child watching a group (or one) of grownup(s) whipping or beating a descendant of africans
WORD: dandruff


I can’t look away for a second
The sound of the crack of the whip on the nigga’s back beckons
The wailing, the moaning, the screams of anguish
Stir up feelings of pity I unknowingly vanquish
Ain’t this just a breed of people lower than me?
Momma says they just animals, but how can that be
Truth?/ Pastor says that god’s authority’s
Proof. Pappa says that how it oughta be.
Don’t quite understand it but they must be right
So I force myself to watch the night surrender to white.
Pieces of skin litter the earth like bloodied dandruff
Nigga know it ain’t worth throwin’ his hands up
He’s laying limp, I’m takin’ it in
But apparently the boy ain’t done payin’ for sin
The beatin’ didn’t satiate, it only enraged
Contorted faces salivate, spewing out hate
“String that nigga up!” “Make that nigga pay!”
and I could feel all my innocence slippin’ away
right before my curious eyes, the deed was done
I could hear the nigga’s last breath exit his lung
Momma saw I looked troubled so she grabbed my hand
Reminded me that the nigga wasn’t even a man
“Nigga” over and over like the beat of a drum
while hypnotized as the body slowly swung
Impeccable was their instruction, reasoning and deduction
My brain’s washed, now I’m completely sucked in
The score’s: one for white folks, nigga’s got none
“how to be a racist 101” with more to come

when the lites out
everythings turns black.

that was very legit.

n/m

>Momma saw I looked troubled so she grabbed my hand
>Reminded me that the nigga wasn’t even a man

^^powerful stuff.

@}-,-`-

I know the pieces fit, cause I watched them fall away. ~ Tool

True indeed, knahmsayin, but when it's real you doin this even without a record contract, knahmsayin? ~ Nas
No question! ~ AZ

http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek/

(jay fever's been KO'd)

TOPIC: --- space travel
WORD YOU MUST USE: --- cheese
.
.
.
.
.
note: this piece reads wonderfully to DJ Quik's "Black Mercedes" beat, which automatically plays when you click here:
http://www.dj-quik.com/
.
.
.
.
{{PART 1}}

camera flash egnite
fast like gamma blast, say
cheese - milky light
splash canvas of black pupils

photo posing by solars of polar phazes
...far quazars
set sillouettes
like closer places

Starhazel Ruby 9: a-
board the cruise liner
rockin' my lunar flower top
cocktail on the viewing dock

meta heluva dime by
beta nebula Rime (lie)
snatched a diamond
from the Turantula sky: PINK

"don't listen to them. they were down below, they wouldn't know..."

{{PART 2}}

snap shooting in Lupus
touring on to Orion
Lori Arula
my new muse, pose for Hornijon

moon lights from Jupiter
wet tunes from Neptune
Coming closer
Uranus glow, but not yet, soon.

Iced out rings and
Saturn won't miss a thing ma'am
grabbin one and someone to sing
slam the thing...wait

Mars about to break
my poetry got the shakes
eff the world, Venus reveals
now: to home base

Hot dude. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
D

n/m

that boy got talent<<<~~~coming to america

double post

triple post

TOPIC: innuendo
WORD: scandinavian

ever since i saw death......

i talk to the moon
with a fork and a spoon
eating a piece of it's shine
sweetly telling my mom
i'm chomping up mars in june

and

life's short
so pardon my view
for stretching thought across scandinavian stars til it grew

i'm kneeling in an awkward pew
caught where cars and shoes
are martyring dudes
and blood's darkening martin's views
and mamas ride the col' train harlem groove
on crack pipes' tracks
right til her vocal bag pipes crack and let out awkward blues

where baby's babies begin wit innuendo,
indo, gin, gentle skin, then grins grow
sin? no, but men in low, out fast, and in slow
out fast when sea men blow then don't put out cash
when little men grow

n/m

n/m.

Whateva
BarTek
ToeJam
muddywaters
daniemuse
Jon
blaksilence
... ... ...and one more:

ok, folks. as you can see, we have an odd number of people. i was thinking of bringing in someone new (there are some people who wanted to participate, but didn't find out soon enough), however, that would mean they got an unfair bye in the first round. MiracleRic had the most votes of all the losers (3). therefore, i'm bringing him back. everyone else (losers, late-to-find-outers) i hope to see you in here next time we do this.

MiracleRic is in.

Congrats to all.

You're doing a great job w/ this, Jon.

Are we doing the same thing with this round, giving suggestions and all?

Peace, Toe

P.S. You squeaked by on this one, Ric... Fun round. Thanks, One.

me and Whateva are going to need someone to give us a word and topic by posting in the round 2 thread

And I agree with ToeJam that you (Jon) are doing a great job.
Thanks for putting this together.
Danielle

>And I agree with ToeJam that you (Jon) are doing a great
>job.
>Thanks for putting this together.
>Danielle

ditto to everything she said. hopefully the battles will get more votes this round, some had like 7 votes and some only had around 3
---------------------------------
www.theunion.gwgaming.net <---The Union=my group
on the mic I'm Murs, Peter Parker, not a thespian/
these other rappers on the same shit, its all pedestrian/
-knowledge

I have utmost respect for dude...

Peace

@}-,-`-

I know the pieces fit, cause I watched them fall away. ~ Tool

True indeed, knahmsayin, but when it's real you doin this even without a record contract, knahmsayin? ~ Nas
No question! ~ AZ

http://www.soundclick.com/djbartek/

some of this shit is hot though...good idea

Happy Holidays everyone, btw!!!!
peace
Danielle

and interest. i know it's tough, but just try to take advantage of lunch breaks or potty breaks if you can. if enough people express a desire to postpone the deadline, i'll do it.

n/m

n/m