>he pimps me at parties
>makes love to me good…
>cooks potatoes and eggs next morning
>
>and then i say
>“i need time to paint”
>he say
>“paint”
>then he asks me when is he gonna see me?
>
>i’ve spent friday thru sunday in his bed.
>
>monday i catch up on laundry and my so called life
>and i was s’pose to “paint” on tuesday
>but he need me
>
>so
>
>i guess …i’ll create on wednesday
>
>but
>
>he need me
>
>gonna have to work out my creativity on thursday
>
>but
>
>i find myself standing ona subway platform trying to get to
>him
>as soon as i can
>
>come friday
>come friday…my soul ain’t in it…and saturday is his time
>although i say
>“i need a lil’ time”
>
>and we agree (in principle)
>
>so… tuesday and thursday i begin to find myself
>
>when we meet up he asks me … “am i seeing someone else ”?
>and I wonder
>
>where he thinks i have time to see anyone but him?
>nonetheless …i answer honestly and sincerely “no baby”
>
>i’ve not seen myself in so long
>
>not seen myself in so long
>
>….but i see him all the time and my stomach aches
>he says “be myself”
>yet heels turn him on…dresses and such
>but i like “being” funky rock star
>running ‘round like i do
>
>he say
>lets talk…but i never hear a sound
>come
>outta my mouth
>there’s a tense grin
>and i fear the right to have an opinion
>i close my eyes and listen
>to the music while he drives me home
>but he has much to say…
>about
>how i don’t act right
>don’t treat him right
>don’t forgive enough
>ain’t there enough
>
>how i just don’t cut it no which way
>
>yet…he miss me like crazy
>can’t be trusted…but he miss me like crazy
>
>so
>
>
>i leave
>good lovin’
>
>i paint
>i eat …WELL, but miss his potatoes
>i leave
>i paint...and see myself for the first time
>saturday
>i get up and work out, do the laundry, head out for a long
>walk into the city,
>smile a lot
>grab my favorite hoody and see a movie…come back and
>paint
>
>sunday
>
>sleep til noon,
>read essence
>and oprah too, and smile
>my thighs feel sturdy and my jaws don’t tighten
>take a vitamin…work out
>and i paint
>
>beautiful things like what love really feels like
>and
>the surface of the universe
>
>months go by and i forget
>my hair has grown 2 inches
>i laugh a lot
>sometime i stay in just cuz
>and
>sometime i go out for the same reason
>
>and i forget
>how
>to
>get down
>to someone else’s groove
>but my own.