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| Forum name | Freestyle Board Archives |
| Topic subject | summer love |
| Topic URL | http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=20&topic_id=16498 |
16498, summer love
Posted by LaDeeDeF_99, Tue Aug-09-05 08:28 PM
summer love has turned into sour lemonade
melted popsicles
puddles of spilled juice
and flakey cookie crumbs
dry flowers and heat
make summer love unbearable
even indoors, summer love has
forgotten the finer points and lines
of curved, sweaty backs
pressed against the cool refridgerator door
brightly colored strawberries
now resemble roadkill victims, overturn tomato trucks
and abandoned garbage heaps
summer love is lonely without willing participants
and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love
only to find its rays much too harsh
to sustain life
peace
ladee
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16499, RE: summer love
Posted by jayare214, Tue Aug-09-05 09:02 PM
much more visual than many of your works....I likes the use of the image though...very powerful...and the lines roll off the toungue with a nice rhythm and impact...
very well done...
-j
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16500, I lost that summer love too..
Posted by naiduk, Tue Aug-09-05 09:54 PM
really feeling the piece
fav part:
"summer love is lonely without willing participants
and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love
only to find its rays much too harsh
to sustain life"
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16501, RE: summer love
Posted by gsquared, Tue Aug-09-05 11:48 PM
>> overturn tomato trucks...abandoned....slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love<<
--excellent
"My turn to speak in tongues"
--Photosynthesis
"the unexpected takes hold"--Robynwildchild
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16502, wow really feelin this....
Posted by KnowOne, Wed Aug-10-05 07:24 AM
luv the lines below:
>summer love has turned into sour lemonade
>melted popsicles
>puddles of spilled juice
>and flakey cookie crumbs
>summer love is lonely without willing participants
>and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
>over and over again, summer pleads with love
>only to find its rays much too harsh
>to sustain life
Well done....
Keep Flowin' Sis'......
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16503, *feels pain over left side of the chest*
Posted by blak_yukon, Wed Aug-10-05 03:23 PM
<<----reporting live-----
http://www.myspace.com/vicversus
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16504, i've been single for a good 2 summers now
Posted by the perfect mistake, Wed Aug-10-05 07:05 PM
it's starting to feel like home
brightly colored strawberries
now resemble roadkill victims, overturn tomato trucks
and abandoned garbage heaps
summer love is lonely without willing participants
and whirs slowly in the corner like metal fan blades
over and over again, summer pleads with love
only to find its rays much too harsh
to sustain life
*nods*
------------------------
Pinwheels and Hula Hoops: my book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.blogspot.com
you're the ying to my yang, tre.
your words do ballet.
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