that's what he said. 'i made you a woman, now you too big for your britches'
and im wondering if his wife knows he is speaking to me this way, and really, does he really believe the shit he talks?

he made me alot of things, but he didnt make me a woman
he made me afraid
he made me ashamed
he made me skinny
he made me ugly
he made me pregnant
he made me sad
he made me a coward
he made me forget
that i was
a woman
beautiful
sexy
brave
a fighter
what made me remember?
the straw that broke the camel down?
im not sure
something about being baracaded in that house
bars on the windows
deadbolt locks on the doors
no phone
two babies
something about him, comin and goin
comin to bring groceries
and take the money from underneath the mattress
staying enough to fuss
fuss about the clothes i was wearing
or the milk gone bad
or the way the baby was crying
fussin made him angry
angry enough to threaten me
angry enough to grab my arms and bend them around behind my back
angry enough to slam me up against a wall
i mean dam....
how was my 130 lbs ever gonna be a match to his 6ft9 frame?
so i guess it was that last time he pulled me by my hair
and dragged me up that hall way
or that last time he hit me so hard
my lip split in two
the last time he called me a bitch in front of my children
the last time he came home from a smokin bringe
making me all too familiar with what a crack head was about
ashy lips, dull skin tone, hair fallin out and fucked up teeth
smokin so much his voice was horse and he sounded like a bitch when he yelled at me
that last time he took the tv and meat from the freezer when he left
lockin that dead bolt and takin the key
the last time i allowed myself to feel trapped
that's what made me remember
and grow a spine in the middle of the night
take my babies and get the hell outa dodge
he was sleepin so hard, after 3 or 4 days chasin crack
he didnt even hear the floor boards creak
or feel my hand slip inside his pocket for the key

so, when i spoke with him today....we had a little disagreement about my sons, our sons goin to spend the summer with him. so when he said to me, 'i made you a woman'
i could only say, 'you made me alot of things, but i made me this woman here'

This is one of those rare times that such a bad situation is turned into captivating, strong poetry. I heard saxophones playin in my head while I was reading this. To go with the mood. Tight as always. ~one~

nothing worse than a man who can't stand up and be a man for his own fam.

Many props to this piece. I loved it.

.

feelin it
---------------------------------
home.comcast.net/~aryoung86 <---listen to my songs
only a true geek can peep how much worth this is
-mf doom

I was right there with you from beginning to end

cause she might be thinkin bout leaving. or he might be thinkin bout changing.

just curious

yeah. straight from my blog.

sometimes how harsh life's lessons are amaze me

nice. you always paint a vivid picture

that shit is above and beyond



....and so it goes, im at it again. Fix ur fucking face, Im in the building!

You unleashed some demons ^UP^ off in this pCe! -- :o



*Cleansing Flow~Stream*

Why do bad things happen to the most beautiful of people.

beautiful, entertaining, thought provoking, etc.

that isn't an easy thing to do.

i've seen this situation in my family...to the point that we had to take bats
(and etc's) to my aunt's house to handle the situation

and the genuine and general sentiment was 'fk this ngga'

but you chose to present something so harsh in a soft, not angry?, different and wise light.

that choice was genius.

quotes:

the whole thing.

i'm really a fan right about now.

great novels are based off of..

whatever he tried to make you into..
use it & make yourself a novelist.

it would be ugly & sad & beautiful & uplifting & possibly life changing for other women trapped in "women making" factories.

your blog is becoming a part of my daily routine.

---
www.sheflypaper.com