christ woman

--prologue--

they were wrong.
christ was a woman
and her father was not a godly man.
------------------------------------------------------

she was cursed with chronic patience
and a quick smile
a professional sufferer
she bled silently
it was easier than waging a war or
blocking blows to her mouth or chest
and bruising her hands in battle

she'd need them to build
for her babies one day

she reached our early for someone to love
the scars left by the father
who fought her like she was a grown man
when she needed to know
how to become a woman
and when no one answered her
she tried to seduce death
lure him quick to her lips
but her little 6th grade hips
were not a bait rich enough
just yet

with her time here
she figured she'd do her best for her people
the ones who hated her
the ones she thought she loved
o benevolent christ woman
kicked the baby out of little ebony's
14-yr-old stomach when she asked her to
because they both knew what birthright awaited
if the baby was damned to live in their end of town
with neighbors and landlords like theirs
a euthanization
that didn’t color itself selfish
til the rooms she'd been painting and preparing
for her own someday-baby was robbed
drained of its pretty red walls
replaced with a shriveled raisin of a womb
now she bleeds every month
at the wrist
and beneath pretty rope burns
lacing her neck
and adopts grown ass little boys
who hate her but have neglected babies of their own
who need a lover and protector
a fighter and a friend
a sacrifice

she played house with such passion.
these makeshift demi-husbands
were her only playmates
they hated her
but reminded her of daddy
and of home

which is all she ever really wanted
anyway

a picket fence frame
to make her broken heart look like art
pretty walls to take away from
the decaying furniture and
rotting fruit in the fridge
a finished basement
to lock her ghosts in

but she just guessed
it wasn’t his will

and neither her happiness, apparently
but she smiled and bled
because it was easier than fighting
or praying to the bastards
who forsook her when all she did
was go about doing good

if they only knew love
for what it was
and not the self-serving prayer
they made it to be
then maybe she
could've learned to claim it
without the crown of thorns
they passed to her as roses.
--------------------------------------

--epilogue--

she's 22
and finally her cancer
has manifested in physical form

when she goes to heaven--
as all saints do--
who sill wear diamond studded hospital beds
in pendants dancing on chains of gold
in honor of her sacrifice?

--Tracy Lynne
christ woman

--prologue--

they were wrong.
christ was a woman
and her father was not a godly man.
------------------------------------------------------

she was cursed with chronic patience
and a quick smile
a professional sufferer
she bled silently
it was easier than waging a war or
blocking blows to her mouth or chest
and bruising her hands in battle

she'd need them to build
for her babies one day

she reached our early for someone to love
the scars left by the father
who fought her like she was a grown man
when she needed to know
how to become a woman
and when no one answered her
she tried to seduce death
lure him quick to her lips
but her little 6th grade hips
were not a bait rich enough
just yet

with her time here
she figured she'd do her best for her people
the ones who hated her
the ones she thought she loved
o benevolent christ woman
kicked the baby out of little ebony's
14-yr-old stomach when she asked her to
because they both knew what birthright awaited
if the baby was damned to live in their end of town
with neighbors and landlords like theirs
a euthanization
that didn’t color itself selfish
til the rooms she'd been painting and preparing
for her own someday-baby was robbed
drained of its pretty red walls
replaced with a shriveled raisin of a womb
now she bleeds every month
at the wrist
and beneath pretty rope burns
lacing her neck
and adopts grown ass little boys
who hate her but have neglected babies of their own
who need a lover and protector
a fighter and a friend
a sacrifice

she played house with such passion.
these makeshift demi-husbands
were her only playmates
they hated her
but reminded her of daddy
and of home

which is all she ever really wanted
anyway

a picket fence frame
to make her broken heart look like art
pretty walls to take away from
the decaying furniture and
rotting fruit in the fridge
a finished basement
to lock her ghosts in

but she just guessed
it wasn’t his will

and neither her happiness, apparently
but she smiled and bled
because it was easier than fighting
or praying to the bastards
who forsook her when all she did
was go about doing good

if they only knew love
for what it was
and not the self-serving prayer
they made it to be
then maybe she
could've learned to claim it
without the crown of thorns
they passed to her as roses.
--------------------------------------

--epilogue--

she's 22
and finally her cancer
has manifested in physical form

when she goes to heaven--
as all saints do--
who sill wear diamond studded hospital beds
in pendants dancing on chains of gold
in honor of her sacrifice?