if you happen to pick this train of thought up
and read the words going from my mind to hand to screen
well, then...
ain't that your luck.

frankly, right now, at this moment
i'm tired
i'm tired of being so damn sensitive about this...
about this r e l a t i o n s h i p
this thing we have going between us
held up by two damn telephone lines
and 'i miss yous' and 'i love yous'
that seem to grasp at straws!

dammit! i want to break every karmic law
and claim time and space as my own
have you here with me or just nearer to me
to work on this thing called us

no, scratch that.

i want you to work on you with me
(bitchy, huh?)
yes, this is about what i want
(petulant, eh?)
and i can only thank GOD that you don't use that lame line,
"baby are you pms'ing?"
'cause if you did...ooooooooooo, heaven help us!
i don't know if i could bite my tongue
(i'd probably gnaw right through and...
shit! i need the damn thing for tasting, eating and the like
no less for giving you a piece of my mind effectively:
aka T O N G U E L A S H I N G G A L O R E!)

well, that's what i want to say. that's what i sometimes want to let you know, but i don't. not like that at least. i care too much to hurt you like that. no, i respect you too much to make you feel small even though that's what my emotional state of feeling would prefer. it's hard to explain that to ppl... it's seems as if i am rolling over and letting you have your way...and really, i'm not 'cause that would mean i'm the only innocent...and i'm not. i have done my part to bring us to this point (initially, i think you came reluctantly) to become better individuals seeing our way through - and that always requires change and what person willingly accpets being changed by the relationship one finds oneself in? we are equal partners in this, and right now, this is just my moment to scream at you, to scream at the heavens, to scream at karma, to scream at patience, to scream at myself...for the struggle of belief in the unshakable fact that everything happens for a reason and everything works out as it's meant to. and although i believe, and i believe unquestionably, i am still human wracked by the most human quality of all - impatience. and i promise heaven, now that i've said my piece, i will be patient as long as it takes and give my grace to see this through.