I meant to post this the same day you put it up, but things got hectic here at work. It's three entries...all from the same day, in decending order:

Entry #1


12:42 am June 29th, 2004
A couple of things that bring me peace...


1. My colleagues, associates and friends, making light of my current situation (a situation that will, more often than not, bring me tears and frustration) by giving me gag gifts that play off the inconsistencies and assumptions of people both directly and indirectly involved with this accident and its aftermath.

2. Learning to accept the fact that my real friends will be there for me no matter what.

3. This rendition of Bilal's "Call Me" (http://www.iambenjaminhughes.com/sounds/callme.wav). I tell you, every night since that accident...this song gets played at LEAST once before I go to sleep. It also lifts me up during the day when I'm feeling down.

Well, I've managed to dose off to sleep..just woke up to thor my dream. 8hakes off and goes back to sleep"


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Entry #2

04:55 pm June 28th, 2004
Physical Therapy, Day 1


I'm not a big fan of doctors, and am really not liking that I have to see one for something as simple as lower back pain, neck pain, or anything else resulting from this accident. Some of these aches and pains were already there, but are just moreso aggravated now because of this accident.

It took me the lengh of Marc Anthony's first single off of his new album, "Amar Sin Mentiras" to get to my physical therapists office from my own. Anyway, what should have been an easy walk left me slightly out of breath, with minor aches in my lower back, right knee and me feeling sticky with light sweat. Now...while I can attribute the knee pain to the accident and possibly the aches in my lower back to accident, the rest is just me being out of shape. *shrug*

I meet my therapist and she asks me to get in this gown and paper short. PAPER SHORTS! This ass won't fit in the standardized paper shorts she speaks of! That's like a really cruel freaking joke! So I politely say to her...I don't know about those shorts lady. I'm already questioning the gown (big boobs RULE...except in doctor's offices...and pretty little frilly lingerie stores), so the shorts would have been pushing it.

Anyway...after getting examined by the physical therapist, she tells me the doctor has ordered this medicine for my knees and leaves to do whatever. I think, "Greeeeeaaaaaattttt...what NEW pill do they want me to take now?!?". Upon her return, she comes back with these two little boxes with what looks like clamps on the end and then these pads that look like electrodes and all I'm thinking is, "What the hell kind of physical therapy is this?!? I hit my body not my head and I'm not nuts so what's up this electro shock shit!?!" Immediately I get apprehensive and tense. After I ask her what this stuff is, she tells me it's the medicine that the doctor ordered for me (yeah...previous thought is now repeating in my head A LOT). She then explains that this "therapy" is a process called iontophoresis. What it does is they put this topical steroid ointment on the affected area and then connect electrodes lower down the leg then connect them to these boxes so that it basically gets pushed into your skin. Did I mention I am really nervous at this point? She tells me it may sting a little bit, but other than that everything should be fine.

Then she gives me one of those hotel tabletop bells and tells me to use it if begins to get painful. For the most part, the "therapy" wasn't too bad...I sat there with patches on me for like 15-20 minutes. I actually took a light nap.

We finish for the day. I get one of those foam back thingies that you put on your chair, some roll on bengaylike thing, and another appt with the doctor to have my ankle looked at because it's acting funny (they think it's a light sprain) and have my shoulder looked at (since the doctor apparently didn't hear me when I told him last Thursday that I have limited movement in my right shoulder...) and will then have to schedule my therapy appt after that.

I'm really not liking this whole thing. I am quite nervous and not happy with the fact that I have to go through all of this. I think it's enough that God allowed me to live another day...so why go through all of this other stuff too? I just want all of this to be over...like NOW.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Random mp3s from a long time ago


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Entry #3

01:36 pm June 28th, 2004
Blocked...


Yup...that would be me.

I've only written two things since the accident two weeks ago. This post ... and a really crappy start to a poem where I tried to capture what I was feeling...

Didn't work.

*shrug*

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Dawson's Creek Soundtrack (yeah...I Own It...and?)