She said she wanted to be friends …
And I took that to mean the that I was not the man that she was interested in ..
And in that very instant …
She left,… the day dreams that I spent dreaming in my evenings that I eventually wish to begin …
To die with out meaning …
And declined without EVEN seeing …
My case pleaded …
before this lovers court and was dismissed…
Without EVEN cross examining the witness …
Shit !!!…
resentment …now had me wishing I didn’t feel like this …
Instantly she went from…
best friend
To
Future gurl friend
To
Just friend
To
BITCH!!! …
And I don’t ever degrade women …
but that was all the reimbursement I could get …
For my time spent …
And my good night kisses missed
And my EVENings getting to know another queen to be
And my feelings wasted
chasing …
me jaded?…or hating? Not EVEN!!!
It EVEN felt good for a minute …
That word …
that had rolled off my tongue so easily …and irresponsibly
that made me feel like a man …
spew because I felt like I had been dealt with …as less of a man
actually showed how boyish I was …
and EVEN to this day …I felt like I got EVEN
I guess some things you just don’t grow out of …