i lost him midweek
only to find him on a blue monday
pacing back and forth across the street
i motion for him to cross over
he says he can't because other people will see

ive never asked him
but i want to know why he's so ashamed
to be by my side
to admit that i make him stronger
ive never asked him
but i want to know why im treated as an extra
you know, those seat fillers at award shows
who give up their spots when someone more important comes along

i lost him on a thursday
only to think of him 2 hours later
im waiting patiently, scanning the traffic
walking the boulevard
sitting at our cafe
i refuse to believe
that he may be gone forever
with wounds that refuse to heal,
he can't survive alone forever
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
girl, don't u know this poem was a reinactment of my life!
I'm teary eyed!
specially @ the part about him being so ashamed..
and looking for him in traffic... those parts really, really hit me!!!
It's so fuggin sad and hurts so much i wanna scream!

but on a more optimistic note:
I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one that has gone thru this experience... It provides assist on getting past it...
(the day that i do)
this was a truly awesome and moving peice...
thank you.

-Stephani
www.webspawner.com/users/delicateaurasoul/index.html

www.3kingsmusic.com < for spiritual hiphop
www.enneagraminstitute.com < for self-analysis
www.hiphopinfinity.com < an awesome ughh site
I'm a H.E.R.B.
Holotyped Existance
Rhetoric Bound


rules are for those that need structure
discipline is for the anal retentive and power hungry
repeated tests are the only thing of which i speak
we need to be tested to find out which part of the soul is weak~robynwildchild

You have the strength of Beowulf but cripple it because of your affinity for the monster
You have been sustaining yourself on the gruel of self-destruction for so long your stomach rejects the ambrosia of life
While the hero of your mind stands by without action while the monster of your emotions sever friendship like arteries under the knife~PG

"fingertips of sun
trace the edges of this room
I turn my face so
your leaving does not eclipse
your kiss on back of my neck"~Ambergirl

someday I won't have to tell myself the obvious
or pretend to be oblivious
~Robynwildchild

"pain is usually the source of my work. the way i have dealt with mental adversity is by embracing it, and allowing certain ideals to wash over my consciousness so that i could purge my pain."-tek

The new me is like: A woman killed in ruffles; falling to the ground with her hair spread out; her wrist secreting ambiant neon blood
Juggling the moon and stars in palms; with the flecks in the eyes turning globes confetti like yearns of non-existant love...
Running in barefoot brooks; with the moon arching its reflection up the aching backs where he holds onto my hips and sways me
my dreams are:
Renewing again amoungst the mating mossrocks stay satiated coining a pith in a breathy palms; so so sappy drenching dreary destiny to bloody toned walls
my heart calls: callused and waving kites colors hues meshing, please feel me- I'm so-so soft- scratching like cat napes, round and female with sun-dresses blowing passion.. kiss the wind swiveling tears on cheeks, the light beams behind my curls, I pose and bleeeeeeed with pain on my sleeve...
engulf: anger,sadness, happiness changing to squared rolling wheels, penetrate the projections of emotional mattresses... I feel open.. constantly.. dream of my transparent body unzipping my skin and stepping out of me.. and I run to cotton-candy padded fields and glow with bliss, and he will wait with his arms open- like that of jesus and view me- patiently...cuz he knows I tripped on my way there and I'm all bruised... ~ me