"baby," she said, "you're killing me..."
and she almost cried.

and i almost sprang from my relaxed state, and flexed all of my rigidy, raging muscles and screamed:

"HEY! DON'T call ME 'baby'! and anyway, didn't you mean to say that *you* have been too busy killing *me* to know anything...and stop crying...RIGHT NOW...don't call me baby...ok...and don't call me honey, or sugar or sweety...DON'T call my anything...and don't say 'Hey guy' and try to be sweet like you always do...."

Buy i didn't. Instead, i said i was sorry...but what i really meant was i'm sorry i ever met her, and that she makes me feel so alive, but i'd tell her not to smile either when i say that because she kills me everyday. That's the only way to know you are alive--to be killed. And in the morning i feel like looking out the window all day and not saying a word to anyone except to that great friend inside my head who always listens so wonderfully.

So, i said i was sorry, because i was...i'm sorry i gave her all she could ever want.

She is a klepto and a felon because she stole my heart and stabbed me, and now dead. i'm just--dead.