?uest,

I was going to explain why I said that, but I would have taken too long (plus I was sleepy, so it didn't feel like it). I knew that I would have to explain myself anyway after someone read what I wrote. So here goes...

Oh and before I get started, that quote is in the article on page 188. Now if the writer of the article made that statement up then I apologise for quoting him for something that he did not say.

Here goes...

I was thanking D' for the statement because I think I know what he was talking about. I don't think he meant it in a mean "I hate white girls" way. I think he made the statement from a cultural and social standpoint. In this society, the media portrays white women as the epitomy of beauty. Just look at the commercials, tv shows, films, magazine covers and advertisements. They totally celebrate the white female aesthetic. When they finally get around to so-called celebrating the black female aesthetic (or any other non-white race) they do it with black women who have Caucasian features (i.e. small nose, lips, light skin, long straight hair).

Black people grow up with these images being branded into our psyche. We try to achieve the the white aesthetic as a result (i.e. skin bleachers, colored contact lenses, chemical hair straightners, nose jobs, etc.). The majority of black men seek these features in black women. I see it all the time, especially with celebrity men. Take a close look at the mates of celebrity men. The majority of them have black women who have Caucasian features. Sometimes you have to stare at the women to try to figure out if they are black. I'm not saying black men shouldn't date these type of black women. I'm saying when they date these type of women exclusively there's a problem. I know I'm not just imagining this. This subject has been studied and documented in several books (but I'm sure you know all of this anyway ?uest).

Let's not even start on videos. Black women with white features are GLORIFIED! Only once in a blue moon do you see dark skinned women. And when you do see them they're in the background somewhere, never the focal point. The only exception I can think of at the moment is Maxwell's "Fortunate" video. I remember D' having a variety of women in his "Brown Sugar" video. Again, thank you D' for that. Thats what I'm talking about. Celebrate all of us not just some of us. There are pretty dark skinned women, ugly dark skinned women, pretty light skinned women, and ugly light skinned women. Some brothas jock light skinned women who aren't even pretty just because they have light skin and long fine hair. And don't tell me its not true. I hear the comments some brothas make. I had one brotha tell me that he liked light skinned women because they were better in bed. I was like WTF! What kind of sense does that make? That was just plain stupid. Think I'm lying about the things that some brothas say? Check out this quote:

"If a Black woman is light skinned with good hair and good features, then she's the shit. Even if she has short hair, but good features, she'll be alright. But a dark skinned girl with short hair can forget it. And if she has a big nose, the she should just be a nun. But if she has long hair and good features, then her skin color can be overlooked. Long hair really helps out those black ugly girls."

-Darryl
The Color Complex: The Politics of Skin Color Among African Americans, by Kathy Russell.

Back to white women...
I see brothas hooking up with white girls for all the wrong reasons (I'm not talking about mixed couples who are truly in love--and that's rare). A lot of brothas do because they want women who aren't going to stand up to them. Hell, they ain't gotta seek out a white girl for that. They can find plenty of black women who are like that. They get with these white girls just to get material things (again you can find black girls how give up the money--trust me I know plenty of them). They get with white girls to get back at "The Man" and a whole bunch of other bullshit reasons.

And no I wouldn't be offended by someone from N'sync saying they don't date black women because I don't care. I don't see anything wrong with D' making the statement because to me it means he sees the beauty of black women. I appreciate him for celebrating us. Remember when Wilt Chamberlain (I know I spelled his name wrong) made that comment about not dating black women because they aren't sophisticated like white women? What about when Dennis Rodman told Oprah he doesn't date black women because they told him he was ugly as a child? That's a fucking cop out. So, I see D's comment as a ode to black women. It's rare when black women are celebrated.

I thank you ?uest for callin' me out because we need to discuss things like this. People are so quick to hide this issue. We NEED to talk about it. And by the way, I sent you an email. You haven't answered me. What up with that (just kidding. I know you're a busy man)? Hit me back when you have time.

Well, I could go on for hours on this topic, but I have to go to work soon, so I'm out. Thanks for the dialogue ?uest.