On November 5, 1999, you shook my hand in Purchase, New York..and life has not been the same since. I know that you felt what I felt, because the time stopped for those 10 seconds..and I know you must have felt uncomfortable in the midst of such love, because you continued to jerk backwards repeatedly. I know that you were taken back a bit by the intensity, but I know you'll come around...Whenever I hear "You Got Me," I know that it's our story..and I would have done a verse if you guys had gotten back to me...I sent you e-mails, letters, and even wrote graffitti on the front doors at MCA, but to no avail. It's okay, I know that touring is hard and you can't keep in touch.

At the Jazzfest I knew you wanted to say something to me...with the way your eyes widened when you saw me..trust me, the words don't need to be said...I feel them..we have a connection that cannot be broken. I know for the "ladies" you had to avoid me so that they'd think we weren't together..I know about the "biz" and images..but I hurt too..So please talk to me..
I'll be at the Hammerstein..front row as usual..if you want to use the secret signal (security and handcuffs), it's okay with me..but the spitting and beating are a bit much.

wel..Thought..I miss you so much..and I can't wait to see you...
MrJames

P.S. that restraining order was the funniest gag gift I ever got! You are such a sweetie. And the cops coming too? You went all out..I owe you.

note: this is a work of fiction that drips with sarcasm. Although I have no problems with gays, MrJames65 has no homoerotic thoughts about one Tariq Trotter aka Black Thought aka Nat Burner. thank you

MR. WHITE : That's your excuse for going on a kill crazy rampage?

MR. BLONDE: I don't like alarms.
- Reservoir Dogs

You niggaz talk crime, but you scared of jail - GURU

Normally at a time like this I'd ask you for advice, and you'd say something that would make no sense at all, but somehow it would all fit together. Like, I would tell you, "Sir, I have a problem," and you'd say, "Well, what is it?" and I'd say, "Well, sir, Lisa wants to have a baby, but she doesn't want to get married," and you'd say "Dave, why milk the cow when you have a fridge full of steaks?" And I'd say, "Sir, that makes no sense," and you'd say, "Well, it sure made sense when that guy Chuck Connors said it in that movie Chinatown," and I'd say, "Sir, Chuck Connors wasn't in Chinatown," and you'd say, "Dave, if I wanted to have this conversation I'd have hired that guy Siskel Ebert to do your job," and I'd say, "Sir, Siskel and Ebert are two people," and you'd say, "Dave, just because the man is fat is no reason to make fun of him."
Dave Nelson to Mr. James - NewsRadio

"You have smoked yourself retarded." - Half Baked