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Forum nameOkay Artist Archives
Topic subjectgaining understanding
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=19&topic_id=14977&mesg_id=15045
15045, gaining understanding
Posted by DJ_scratch_N_sniff, Mon Jan-24-00 07:11 PM
>Question: why is it that nonblack men don't<BR>>marry/date BLACK women in the numbers that black<BR>>men date/marry nonblack women?<BR>> Why is it that the<BR>>lightest of our community are considered the<BR>>prettiest while blonde & blue eyed is still<BR>>considered the epitome of beauty in theirs?<P>I think this is due partly to the subconsciously ingrained inferiority complexes that blacks have been given since slavery days which inadvertently causes some black men to date outside their race. This is easily visible, even to someone like me who is not black (mostly white/Puerto-rican). For centuries, many black women have wished to look like white women, even tried to by straightening hair, etc...<P>What's a young boy to think when he sees/hears his female friends/peers/relatives wishing for lighter skin, straighter hair, a less wide nose? Of course he's going to grow up thinking white features are beautiful. I've seen this happen in my own family. This sucks, but a man is hardly responsible for his taste in women. If you want to place the blame, place it on the people/media that brainwashed him to think this way. It's kinda like anorexia in that way... it's the media's fault.<P>The fact that black men date outside their race more than black women tho, is also due to the fact that a lot of black women are unwilling to date outside their race. The only people I ever hear saying that they will only date someone of their own race are black females.<P>You CAN complain that some black men make excuses stereotyping black women and then date exclusively outside their race. I mean, that's fucked up ignorant shit. There's beautiful, wonderful people of all races and you know it and racism against your own race is the worst kind. But you CAN'T complain that a man who's open-minded to all races happens to choose to date a white woman or an Asian, or a Latina. Instead look inside yourself and ask why you need black men to exclusively date black women. Is it because you're unwilling to date anything but black men, or because non-black men don't approach you and you're too chicken-shit to approach them so you'd rather come complain on the internet? (no condescending intended, i was just wondering)<P>I'll try to relate this to something personal for me. i'm short. All my life, I hear good characteristics associated with height, and when i was a kid i was made fun of for being short. Dudes always aspired to being tall, chicks always dig the tall dudes, etc... So now i'm grown up 21 years old, and all of 5'7 and what do i see? Everywhere i go, it's tall dudes with short girls. Why is it that so many short women date outside their height and so many short men are left single? I mean, if you're a short woman, wouldn't you rather date a strong short man who has similar characteristics to your short father? But these short women have been brainwashed to think that the tall characteristics are more attractive than the short. I even hear short chix sayin shit like "Yeah, he's cute, but he's too short" and i'm like "??!?!?!" They don't realize the beauty in height-defficiency and while these short women are fawning all over some goliath mothaf*#&&as, many short men have also chosen to cross the height-line by dating tall or other non-short women. This is tearing the short community apart.<P>okay, enough satire... What i'm trying to point out though, is that even though i wouldn't mind being a little bit taller (not to mention a baller), or that all my characteristics were the ones that were found desirable, i can accept my shortcomings (um, that pun was really not intended) and i know i'm the shit anyways.<P>While this silly height thing is not a perfect analogy to the interracial thing, i think everyone who reads it will think, "well, get off your short ass and GET a woman if they ain't coming to you, and if you can't get one, then you're just a sorry little bastard." and if you got more brain cells than you got fingers, you can draw the parallels yourself.<P>I just gotta say that while a lot of u kids are sayin "let this post die", i think that posts like this one and posvibes' one from last month are important. I have learned a lot, and i understand a lot more about why a lot of people oppose interracial relationships. As long as the tone is mature (as it has been mostly) and not full of hate (we know who's posted hate on both sides of the issue, i know i have), these can be tools for us to grow and learn about each other and ourselves...<P>"We aren't the world..." Me (not a real DJ, just a cool name)