>Sekhmet, <BR>>I agree that the "you must not <BR>>have good relationships thing" is silly, <BR>>petty jealousy. <BR>>I think much of the rest of <BR>>what you say is built on <BR>>a false reasoning though. That is <BR>>this: <BR>>You seem to be confusing your personal <BR>>best interest with the best interest <BR>>of Black Folk. You're seeing them <BR>>as the same thing. Likewise, you're <BR>>confusing my personal best interest with <BR>>the best interest of Black Folk. <BR>>You seem to see these all <BR>>as the same thing creating a <BR>>situation where your best interest is <BR>>my best interest. That's not entirely <BR>>true. <BR>>Certainly there will be some overlap between <BR>>my personal best interest and the <BR>>best interest of Black Folk, since, <BR>>you know, I am Black Folk. <BR>>But these goals are not identical. <BR>>I am not the poster boy <BR>>for the black race. I do <BR>>not live to be the perfect <BR>>example of a broad, if not <BR>>completely abstract, categorization of many cultures <BR>>in this country linked by a <BR>>skin color and common history. I <BR>>am a product of my environment, <BR>>but I am also a producer <BR>>of my environment. I am not <BR>>merely a tool in your (our) <BR>>struggle. I, like everyone else, have <BR>>my own goals. Ones that don't <BR>>even affect African Americans as a <BR>>concept or a whole. (I also <BR>>have goals that I hope will <BR>>affect African Americans and all Americans.) <BR>><BR>>I understand what you're saying about Black <BR>>Folk needing images to feel good <BR>>about. I'm so much feeling that. <BR>>But I don't think Black Folk <BR>>hatin' on Black Folk because of <BR>>who dates or marries who is <BR>>the image you want to project. <BR>><BR>>But comments like, "I pray that a <BR>>sista with some good characteristics comes <BR>>your way. It will be better <BR>>in the end, I'm just about <BR>>sure of it," sound as if <BR>>you're speaking in your best interest <BR>>and what you think my best <BR>>interest is, not necessarily what my <BR>>best interest actually is. As I <BR>>said, I was praying for just <BR>>that myself, but to pass on <BR>>the gem that stands before me <BR>>doesn't seem to be in my <BR>>best interest. <BR>>As I've said, I've been in interracial <BR>>relationships before. And I am a <BR>>thinking man. It has certainly crossed <BR>>my mind the idea of having <BR>>a "mixed" child. I know how <BR>>people stare at me because I'm <BR>>holding the wrong person's hand. I <BR>>fear for what a "mixed" child <BR>>will encounter. But I'm not one <BR>>to avoid the issue. No true, <BR>>lasting resolution comes that way. The <BR>>truth is there is nothing wrong <BR>>with that child, the problem is <BR>>with the people who have nothing <BR>>but evil glares for the child. <BR>>The easy solution is, of course, <BR>>not to have that child. But <BR>>I want resolution. I will face <BR>>those people, show them their unjust <BR>>predjudice and hopefully change a few. <BR>>It's a daunting situation to say <BR>>the least. One that's been hundreds <BR>>of years in the making. One <BR>>that's sadly likely to take many <BR>>times that to undo. But no <BR>>real solution comes quickly or easily <BR>>or without much sacrifice. <BR>>I am willing to make sacrifice. But <BR>>I don't think my happiness or <BR>>the happiness of those I love <BR>>is the proper sacrifice for this <BR>>situation. <BR>>Do you understand what I'm saying? <BR>>b. well <BR>>box <BR>>-"Where's the Love?" - Hanson -"Heed the <BR>>message, Kill the messenger" - Shawn <BR>>Colvin <P>box you can't let this "gem" pass you by, nobody has the blueprint on how to live, never let someone view on how the world should be allow you to miss the chance of feeling something real, I cannot see how shutting yourself off to this girl will be in your best interest-please do not trivialize a connection with another human being -no matter how intelligently some attempts to argue the point, when someone who is black or white speaks out against interacial couples it always sound the same "i would never do that, so it must be wrong" if any one trips over you and your girl its thier problem<P>"it's not paranoid if they're really out to get you"Unknown