Sekhmet,<P>I agree that the "you must not have good relationships thing" is silly, petty jealousy.<P>I think much of the rest of what you say is built on a false reasoning though. That is this:<P>You seem to be confusing your personal best interest with the best interest of Black Folk. You're seeing them as the same thing. Likewise, you're confusing my personal best interest with the best interest of Black Folk. You seem to see these all as the same thing creating a situation where your best interest is my best interest. That's not entirely true.<P>Certainly there will be some overlap between my personal best interest and the best interest of Black Folk, since, you know, I am Black Folk. But these goals are not identical. I am not the poster boy for the black race. I do not live to be the perfect example of a broad, if not completely abstract, categorization of many cultures in this country linked by a skin color and common history. I am a product of my environment, but I am also a producer of my environment. I am not merely a tool in your (our) struggle. I, like everyone else, have my own goals. Ones that don't even affect African Americans as a concept or a whole. (I also have goals that I hope will affect African Americans and all Americans.)<P>I understand what you're saying about Black Folk needing images to feel good about. I'm so much feeling that. But I don't think Black Folk hatin' on Black Folk because of who dates or marries who is the image you want to project.<P>But comments like, "I pray that a sista with some good characteristics comes your way. It will be better in the end, I'm just about sure of it," sound as if you're speaking in your best interest and what you think my best interest is, not necessarily what my best interest actually is. As I said, I was praying for just that myself, but to pass on the gem that stands before me doesn't seem to be in my best interest.<P>As I've said, I've been in interracial relationships before. And I am a thinking man. It has certainly crossed my mind the idea of having a "mixed" child. I know how people stare at me because I'm holding the wrong person's hand. I fear for what a "mixed" child will encounter. But I'm not one to avoid the issue. No true, lasting resolution comes that way. The truth is there is nothing wrong with that child, the problem is with the people who have nothing but evil glares for the child. The easy solution is, of course, not to have that child. But I want resolution. I will face those people, show them their unjust predjudice and hopefully change a few. It's a daunting situation to say the least. One that's been hundreds of years in the making. One that's sadly likely to take many times that to undo. But no real solution comes quickly or easily or without much sacrifice.<P>I am willing to make sacrifice. But I don't think my happiness or the happiness of those I love is the proper sacrifice for this situation.<P>Do you understand what I'm saying?<P>b. well<P>box<P>-"Where's the Love?" - Hanson<BR>-"Heed the message, Kill the messenger" - Shawn Colvin