I never thought that I would have to make a post like this. The reason why I decided to is only because many of you on GD knew her and I wanted you all to know of her passing.

Nikki took her own life Monday, August 21st at 3 am. Please say prayers for her family and wish my friend the peace she was always searching for.

I love you Tichana and I will miss you.

EDIT: Tishana's memorial service will be Sat @11am at Hall and Jones Funeral Home, 2005 G Str Brunswick, GA.

EDIT2: spoke with Nikki's mother a couple of hours ago and asked for permission to post the address if any of you wanted to send cards or donate towards her services:

4862 Malabar Drive
Brunswick, GA 31520

I told her about all the people here that loved her and misses her. She wanted me to pass on the message that no one should try to deal with depression alone and it is her believe that depression is a tool of the devil. Nikki's family belief, her mother especially was of Jehova's Witness.
She asked me how I was, how I was dealing my own problems and I told her that I was making sure to talk to people and just keeping hope with me. I want everybody to remember this. There's always someone to talk to and some of us are more verbal about our problems than others but you are never alone. Never.

Mrs. Chipp would love to hear alot of these stories. She wants to read more of her poetry and learn of what she meant to all of us.
She encourages you all to write her and email her.

slaychippc@bellsouth.net

omg, im soo sorry to hear this

why are people so scared to live

:(

being incessantly miserable isnt much of a life, no is it

i completely understand why someone would take their own life

i'm not suicidal, but i sure as hell cant wait to die. i rather look forward to an end to it all. i believe in God, but to be perfectly honest i would preffer complete obliteration over having to deal with this shit for another 60 years just to get there.

i didnt know her, but i feel for her immensely, because i get it. it's sad when i people hurt that bad for that long that they give up. again, im not about to step off that ledge but i could really give a fuck what happens from here on out.

this hurts me.

rip.

I know

On some realness young, Ya'll niggas
is seeming real extra 2day.
Ya'll bamming real hard out this jount
young.
Just thought I'd let ya'll know.
- Dae021

*EDIT*
ANCHOR THIS SHIT



SOMEONE GET MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE





______
Weeds.
Season Two.
Showtime.
Mondays, 10pm.


http://myspace.com/kakiking
http://www.myspace.com/iwishmusiccouldadoptme

is this true????

OMG

i feel sick

rip

.

omg

=(


RIP sis

damn yo.
R.

oh my god... :(

:(

WTF


RIP!

:(

***************************************
August 26th is National Fuck a Black Nerd Day - The Black Nerd Initiative

"The hip hop Asians downstairs are keeping lots of Rabbits" - Andi3124

http://www.last.fm/user/8thlight/

i dont believe this

http://www.myspace.com/blackmyth84
http://www.spitfirepoetrygroup.com/

_______________________________________
U make me feel like cookies, yo. (c)DeePhunk

im just a notch in your bedpost but youre just a line in a post.

RIP




*cough*http://blog.myspace.com/iwannaloveyou*cough*

Really?
Damn
RIP

she was such a sweetheart!

my heart goes out to her family & friends

she will truly be missed!

many condolences.

http://www.myspace.com/3rd_i

Lord in heaven help her
Help us




______
Weeds.
Season Two.
Showtime.
Mondays, 10pm.


http://myspace.com/kakiking
http://www.myspace.com/iwishmusiccouldadoptme

i have to agree
it sounds like she was hurting





i dont know what to say
geez
this hurts




______
Weeds.
Season Two.
Showtime.
Mondays, 10pm.


http://myspace.com/kakiking
http://www.myspace.com/iwishmusiccouldadoptme

she sounded "happy" and "normal"

"I read 3rd I's MySpace blog and the message was there:

"i continue to be a sheep...to follow a voice that has been going dim over the last couple of months...i don't think God talks to me anymore...i want my happiness without losing my family...or my God. i want to love him openly and not shrouded in secret. i want to write poetry again...but i don't want the depression that goes along with it.
i dulled my senses....
are we equals? do we love the same? are you happy in the life u lead? are you living your dream? doing what you want in life? or are u barely making it. is your life a series of days that bleed into nights? i'm lost...i'm in a familar land of confusion that i have sought to escape from only to find myself on another path in the same land.
one day...after i'm gone...you'll realize that i never truly lived my own life...what will you feel? will it inspire you?"

She had made her decision weeks ago...

Although I did not know Nikki personally, I enjoyed her posts.

But I understand the feeling and struggle in this message. To have to choose between being completely disowned by our family or living our life so that WE are happy is extremely unfair. Everyone thinks that it is not that bad and your family will understand...

I wish she knew that she was not alone in her struggles.

goodness

im soo speechless right now

THIS SHIT SHUT ME DOWN YO.

From 3rd I :



i want bravery

ok..it's coming down to the wire...i'm supposed to come forward and tell my family about my relationship with walter.*bites nails* am i ready? oh shit!!! my period hasn't started yet...probably cuz of my nerves. too much stress...i go to school next week so i'll be gone with probably no internet connection, i had another dream that my sister saved my life. i wonder why i'm having all these life threatening dreams...i want to go to india for a Month...i want to visit temples and to kiss the inner wall of the Taj Mahal.

one day i'll do it.

RIP.

wow.

Took a good deal of detective work to get to her, too...

I wish we'd have known this time...

RIP...

Hopefully she has found peace

-okayplayer loryn, a cali export

aim: Tiye215

alright bitches, i'm on myspace:
www.myspace.com/lcwzeta

http://ignorantart.blogspot.com

"you're never going to get anywhere without being a strategic bitch."-- professor jennifer james, GWU

RIP

....everyone who knew her.

I hope she's at peace : (

i have chills. this is shocking and sad.

-30-

the wonderful thing about niggas, is niggas are wonderful things.

http://www.myspace.com/ikemoses

Sad, sad news. :(

not my favorite TV poster! goodness i loved talking to her about TV shows

dammit

I just pray that her family and friends can stay strong.

______________________________________

Cedar Point VI - Labor Day Weekend

anybody got a link to who this is

elders?
the fuck going on yo
niggas is WILDING man

We are all dreamers...

I hope that this is what she really wanted and that she's finding moving towards some semblance of the peace that escaped her here. Of course I want to know why, but that's wrapped up in my own selfishness of wanting her alive to answer the question.

Many blessings and positive prayers from me to her for safe passage and comfort.

Many blessings, my condolences, and wishes for peace to her family and all of those that have been and will be affected by the loss of her.

the legendary sigs:
__________________
<--- danielle from big brother all-stars
a.k.a not me.
:) :) :)

damn... it's rough dealign with a suicide. we had 2 in 2 months. i hope they find peace.

inbox

wtf

how dare she yo!

not saying i know her situation, but come on man, like Nikki G said, we have an african way of thinking & suicide is a non-african way of thinking...

ugh

i'm disgusted & upset with her

she said some nice choice words about my drops in there & i didn't get to know her past posts

so i can't even be that mad, cuz i ain't know her KNOW HER

but damn

why yo?

peace & light

:(

.......

---------------------
richmond, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

WTF?

I talked to her on the phone once during one of those call an OKP nights.

This is terrible.

nooo
nawl nawl nawl man

she posted about depression...

still got her inboxes...

we tried to encourage...
i can't believe this man

i can't *breathe* right now....

Add Me +
www.myspace.com/itsjay

Add Me +
www.myspace.com/itsjay

i remember when she lived here.
she was one of the first people here that welcomed me to chicago.
we'd hang out and i'd go round her crib. she'd always have a meal waiting for me.
we'd eat and play videogames aaaaaall night.
she was truly one of the best people out there.


i still have her devil may cry she let me borrow and i swore that i'd give it back to her.


i'm numb right now.

---------------------
richmond, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

from the bottom of my heart


______
Weeds.
Season Two.
Showtime.
Mondays, 10pm.


http://myspace.com/kakiking
http://www.myspace.com/iwishmusiccouldadoptme

crazy man

realy crazy

damn

i dont have your number.

i have to get up and move.



i can't even cry.
it hasn't really hit me yet.





---------------------
richmond, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

just sit with it man

just be still

don't go drink

unless it ain't the liks

especially on relationships.
i hadn't talked to her in awhile either.
i assumed things were fine.
i assumed wrong.

i have to leave the house.
the only thing that'll keep my mind off of it for now.

---------------------
richmond, va.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

be easy dog man

i mean it ain't no consilation but my birfday was shakey to me

even though i had friends around

it's just i don't know man...fuck it

Man.....I swear I don't know what to say.

This is just sad. My heart goes out to you, and everyone else that was close to her.

She was a beautiful person indeed.

Since The Doc posted more often here he's read her shit on the regular, especially in High-Tech...

...this is sobering...saddening, dunno what to say here. Damn.

she was great
and very sweet
we'd chat every now and there
this hurts a lot


>
>i'm numb right now.
>


exactly how i feel right now

i've backed out of this post four times.

please be at peace, and may your family and friends always honor your memory.


***********************
This morning I will not
Comb my hair.
It has lain
Pillowed on the hand of my lover.
~ Kakinomoto no Hitomaro

to her that would have made her change her mind...my heart is heavy right now.

"stars in your eyes, free from the life that you knew."

.....man this is hurtful.

such seemingly senseless tragedy

peace to her family and loved ones.

.

Heavenly father...heavenly father

..

i never talked to her, at least to my knowledge, but.. im speechless


http://www.last.fm/user/RawLa/

www.myspace.com/rawla

rawla323: so when u coming over?
rawla323: oh wait..:: re reads::
rawla323: nevermind,yo
WriterChik81: funny
WriterChik81: bitch
rawla323: lmao
rawla323: oh boy, and my day is complete

Im so sad.

_________________________
Politics and Sports are found here:

http://expertise.blogdrive.com

may the good lord bless her soul :(

this breaks my heart....
nikki was beautiful...a beautiful spirit...
and i dont think she even knew it...
sis was one of the kindest people in the world...
from the playful nickname she called me bighead :)
she was my friend...
fuck this hurts

I never really interacted with her but reading this has saddened me a great deal.

Peace and blessings to her family.

years ago that she thought of that. i would call and check on her. she told me she was fine. last time i saw her was in march when she, i, and alasha went to waffle house with angie and her husband while on her book tour.

she seemed happy. had a new car, talking about her job. her brother. i'm fuckin cryin my eyes out right now. what the fuck, man?

she hadn't talked about this shit for well over a year. just talked about how her truck was gonna "roll over the batmobile"...and talked about crazy calls she got working with the police...and how she found the man she was gonna marry...and how she was writing again. FUCK!

i know she didn't like staying with her folks....i told her to call when ever she felt like she needed an ear. 2-3 am. she'd sound down, and i'd make her laugh. then a year went past and everytime we communicated...she was happy. she hadn't called me in a while. i hadn't called in a while either. she seemed like she had found happiness. everytime she hit me up she was talling me about her fiance.


i feel like i fuckin failed her. like my little portion my little job. shit. i can't fuckin believe this. Dammit nikki, why didn't u just fuckin call me? or someone? i'm so fuckin pissed right now

I dont know what to say.
<----- ...Only by tapping into the dark side could his true potential be gained...

---------------------
the ultimate girl gamer.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

this sucks.

so fucked up

...

please say it isn't so....
peace & prayers
i didn't know her personally but i'm truly hurt and saddened by this

.

i had found an article about her passing in the news
but i didnt want to post it here for fear it would be too much
but damn i know what u feeling
i just hate her soul was tortured for her time here
:(

just damn.

peace.

wow......

Yo, could you please inbox me some more info on this. When it happened? How it happened? Please?

Part of me can't believe it's true, but another part of me knows this was bound to happen. I haven't talked to her in a long time, but we used to chat it up regularly. I have her poetry book, her copy of the 'Mahabharata' and one of her dreads sitting on a little table in the other room. I don't even know how to feel about that.

I was expecting you to say she passed away from something relating to her health, and although I'm not surprised to hear she killed herself it really saddens me to hear that she finally succumbed to those feelings. I thought things were going alright for her, or at least I hoped they were.

I wish her nothing but love and peace.

Damn, Nik.

i...can't even come up with words.


RIP.

RIP chick.....



DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05

<---- Peep the avy: It's little me!

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

www.xanga.com/Bonita_Applebaum24

RIP sis

rest in peace

this is very sad!

peace and blessings to her family and friends.



http://www.myspace.com/nebt_het

"them exalting dem stinking dutty self/go and bathe ya dutty mucky self/erase ya fucking ugly self/ go fuck a girl and stop from fuck yaself"kalonji

peace & blessings,

x.

sigless for the summer, y'all.

Mech

and no matter how much you know it to be true, if you don't love yourself enough, no one else can fill you up.

i know because i've been there and thought of doing what she did. Even tho i knew how many people loved me and even tho i knew i'd be missed. if i had decided to do it, no one would have been able to talk me out of it.

she used to chat with me on AIM way back..a few years ago...i remember her talking about being depressed and putting herself down and all the time; i remember feeling like i often wasn't sure what to say to her. but she was always a really nice person...

I don't even know what else to say....Just please let her be at peace...

d


~~~ this love is unbreakable ~~~

prayers and condolences for her family and friends

and a prayer that Nikki has found the peace she sought


- fabulous / 26 | twentysixfab on aim, yahoo | ebaker_26 on msn
<-- the okaybabyboy™: born february 18
http://www.myspace.com/le_fabuleux

*sigh*

www.myspace.com/trinapanther

"I'm the best person to discuss me with"- Furonda (ANTM)

This is just my interpretation of the situation- Andre 3000

Oh my god.....I am in shock.

WTF?!

a week ago!!!!!!
We were talking about weddings and interior decorating.
She is the 1st OKP to have seen my house.
Oh My GOD!!!!
<----- ...Only by tapping into the dark side could his true potential be gained...

I feel so bad. We were supposed to hang out years ago and never did. Man...

que desanse en paz

rest in peace.

my thoughts to her family.

I can't believe this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9KC7uhMY9s
You Know What Love Is.

www.myspace.com/ryendavidmusic
or
http://i8.tinypic.com/24qmosp.jpg
or
http://tinyurl.com/9u9nm

Nikki was one of the sweetest, funniest okp's, and I feel so much regret at her passing. I can only hope that she's free now from whatever suffering this world caused her. Peace to her and all those who loved her.

www.soul2020.com
www.myspace.com/chopsteak
http://chopsteak.blogspot.com

purple purple purple

I remember her from these boards, and that's saying something cuz a lot of folks I don't remember. But her name stands out. RIP and I hope she's "free" now, because as a person with a troubled life I've felt tempted to end it all too. But I look to the sky for a better day, somehow, some way.

RIP girl.

every time i go to write someone's address that starts with N or C or D, i see nikki chipp, dredlocksista in there....


sheee-it.

:(

I didn't know her, but I always saw her posts. I'm really hurt about this.....



<---- YEEEEEEAH!!! Now that's a REAL pimp cup......

.

wow. i am really in shock. she was the first friend i had here on OKP. we used to talk about stuff, music and art and such. you used to ask why i was such a geek about things like that.

she was an avid gamer and had a yearning to live life and i think she only just was starting to come into her own as a woman. i will miss seeing the chance at her becoming a worldly woman as she sometimes spoke of travelling.

man, this really hit hard.

i miss you Nicole (her nickname).

"What can purge my heart
Of the song
And the sadness?"

--Langston Hughes "Song for Billie Holiday"

:/:/:/:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:|:\:\:\:

avi: "back in the days when i was young/i'm not a kid anymore/but somedays i still wish i was a kid again"

qotm: "it's like being blasted with a fire hose full of Skittles." -- Music Columnist John

nik is my friend
this is horrible
i cant believe this
:(

shit fuck damn shit.

I hope you've found the peace and serenity in heaven that you didn't find on earth.....

prayers to all those who knew her

this is terrible :(

....
we spoke on the phone a few times since 2000...

fk

we werent that real real close. I mean we talked usually late at night when the rest of the world was asleep. But she was a good person, i am very sad to hear this.

RIP.

I hope she's at peace.

I'm really sad about this. I didn't know 3rd I, but I felt like I did. God bless her soul.

Prayers.

--Maurice

I just can't stop crying
I knew she had talked about it so many times....

she was so sweet
always smiling and one of the first people i'd ever hung out with on okp. I always think of her when I go to the african festival....
we went together years ago. I still have the pictures.
she was the best poet these boards have ever seen

she will be missed so much
RIP Nikki
why did you have to leave us?

I remeber meeting her at the old aristean Joints that donnie used to do. She seemed so happy then, You never know what could happen in between meeting someone and them getting that low in the spirt to remove themselves from the planet. God please forgive her.
Peace and Blessings C.A.D 5000 says -"Smile Jesus Loves you"
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2130114850
He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life"
-Ali

so sad. :(

.

--------
photobloggin' it: http://richlouis.blogspot.com/
bloggin it: http://thehomelands.net/blogger.html

She always seemed so playfull and seemed to happy.
Didn't see this coming at all.
She loved music and video games.

My deepest condolences to her family.

Rest in peace.

just damn...damn damn damn

RIP

please tell me your kidding.



R.I.P B.J.S

R.I.P Simmon

aim:jkadetoye2

I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

Life is what happens while you are making plans.

http://www.myspace.com/olajumoke78

I am shook.
Why the...

Well.
Um.
Shit.
Nikki.
You will be missed.
Sorely missed.

I can't take this.
I'm loggin off.

PEACE TO HER FAMILY.




NEW DUMHI ALBUM ALSO ON ITUNES!
http://www.myspace.com/dumhi http://www.myspace.com/dawgeatah
http://www.youtube.com/user/skilipino

peace fam

Last I time we spoke on the phone she was in a great mood.

I really can't believe it.
I just can't.

I appreciate your words.
This is just...
too much.

She was an incredible spirit.
So special.

It's really not fair.





NEW DUMHI ALBUM ALSO ON ITUNES!
http://www.myspace.com/dumhi http://www.myspace.com/dawgeatah
http://www.youtube.com/user/skilipino

you know you always got us homie.

www.soul2020.com
www.myspace.com/chopsteak
http://chopsteak.blogspot.com

purple purple purple

rest in peace

I thought this was going to be another one of those posts where someone "buries" their former screen name and announces another one. Sadly, I couldn't have been more wrong.

May she rest in peace.
___________________________________________________________________________

n/m

damm

i hope she is at peace

.

I recall a post of her saying so--i believe it was her--and remember
talking about how important/stressful their jobs are...


please correct me if I'm wrong.

:- ( very to hear of her passing.


http://www.43things.com/person/kimluv
"The suggestion that you need religion to have some common sense is one of the dumbest, yet most persistent ideas out there." -okp bignick

She was, but she hated that job and was always talking about trying to move on to something else. I figured she had, but she might not have, and if she had it's likely still doing something in law enforcement.

http://www.43things.com/person/kimluv
"The suggestion that you need religion to have some common sense is one of the dumbest, yet most persistent ideas out there." -okp bignick

i'm just looking at this screen cuz this isn't even making sense

I didn´t know her that well but we inboxed eachother last friday. I´m speachless. This is too sad. RIP.

this is sad. she was 1 of the few people i've chatted with here

DAMN!

DAMN!

RIP Mama Gray!
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
http://www.myspace.com/atlantahiphopshows
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

too sad

That's so sad.

RIP

I didn't know her, I didn't have much interraction with her - but reading everybody's posts....I'm welling up at my desk here. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family, her friends, and especially to her - I hope she has found peace.

I've never dealt with the loss of someone I was close to, so I can't begin to imagine what some of you guys along with her family are going through however my thoughts are with you all nonetheless

We miss you



-----------------------------
http://www.myspace.com/wray06

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2106462270

niggas is beautiful- Ike M.

...talkin straight-forward to hoes- C

I think its an issue thats never talked about here and mostly endured by many on this board....

For those of you who are going through it...get some professional help with this...



"The camel never sees its own hump but that of its brothers is always before its eyes"- N.African proverb

***The OKMuhajideen***

dag.... this is wild...
i didn't know her well or long but, we talked a few times and she seemed cool
i swear i just talked to her maybe a few weeks ago or something...

Peace.

Did not realize all the signs were there. I can't believe this.

only thing that is certain is that you are going to die... I wish it was an 'cultural' imperative in the Western world,that we are prepared better for this inevitability. It's almost like folks think we are going to live forever...

However we can & do make choices on how we navigate these years on earth and also on how we depart, and 3rd I unequivocally made her choice... so all those in this post who are blaming themselves, stop, there was nothing you could of done...

I for one, will CHOOSE to remember what her presence on here brought to my experience of the boards and will have positive memories of our interactions.

Ultimately, she was looking for that peace that we are, all looking for... maybe she found it, isn't that a blessing????


Hetep -u 3rd I/Nikki

“As I have not worried to be born, I do not worry to die.”

- Federico Garcia Lorca


RIP 3rd I.

-------------------

Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?

(c) Stanislaw Jerzy Lee

>
>Ultimately, she was looking for that peace that we are, all
>looking for... maybe she found it, isn't that a blessing????
>



Breathe E.Z.

~Vee~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
....:I'm Focused, Man:....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do Not Let This Universe Regret You"

...after Simmon's. .

Somehow, I knew it would come from OKP the next time.

I'll try to impart some peace I've finally gained after all this time

First, it's not YOUR fault. The, "I could have, I would have, I should have" will be there, go ahead and own it, and to be honest, it may never go away.

For folx that knew, loved, cared for her, the hardest thing is you KNOW you would have been there, you KNOW you would have done anything to keep her from that point, and sadly...they didn't know that, or couldn't take that into their heart and find some sort of hope in that. It's like you weren't enough at the right time to help her through it.

The other part is...you'll want to be mad at them, but you can't, because, well...if you've got a heart, you know why, I can't really explain it.

The other thing that pulls is the fact that they gave up, you can't understand it. Well, I couldn't. As long as I'm here, I can make it better.

I've also been "taught" that this is one of the greatest sins, and the peace they were hoping for may not be on the other side. I don't know either way, but I know what I WANT to believe, but I also know what else is possible. That's VERY unsettling.

"Why didn't they come to ME!?!?" You know what lengths you would go to, they may or may not.

Finally, what's important is to live the pain you have right now. Don't try to hide from it, supress it, or cover it up. Talk about it, think about it, get mad about it, cry about it. But, what's important is that you get through it. You can't help her now, but you MAY be lucky enough to help someone else. Take that pain and give love, like I'm trying to do right now.

Try to take something from this tragedy and make someone's life better.

Before I signed on this morning and saw this, I was having a real good peace the last couple days. ANd just said this morning that I need to do "something," not related to myself, I AM busy as hell, but I need to do something for someone else. And, when I saw this post, I knew something was preparing me, and this is part of what is in store.

OKP always comes together at times like this, and we always regress to riding on folx after the fact. That's human nature.

You should be changed by this, let it happen.

Something I just thought about, when she/Simmon crosses my mind, I'm going to try and do something for someone else, that connection and helping will build yourself. Take the love we had for them and share it with someone else.

I rambled a little, it might be a little incoherent, but...how do you help someone get through this? I tried, and hope someone got a little light from it.

Peace to her, her soul, her family, friends and people she never knew existed that will be touched by those who did.

thanks for that, remy.

peace & blessings,

x.

sigless for the summer, y'all.

he is on point

>I don't know either way, but I know what I WANT to believe, but I also know what else is possible. That's VERY unsettling.

i think that is why it also the most upsetting
at least for me

>and we always regress to riding on folx after the fact. That's human nature.

________________________________________

www.myspace.com/tobi75

Charles: *points to world maps on his bedroom walls* Mom, I wanna take these down.
Me: Why? I like the maps.
Charles: Because I'm home and I already know how to get here.

All the feelings of Simmon and my Uncle's passing just flooded my heart right now after reading this post and everything you said made perfect sense.

"Everything's Good Ugly" (in progress)
www.loudminoritymusic.com|http://www.myspace.com/chegrand|http://chegrand.blogspot.com/

>Try to take something from this tragedy and make someone's
>life better.


>OKP always comes together at times like this, and we always
>regress to riding on folx after the fact. That's human nature.


>You should be changed by this, let it happen.

>connection and helping will build yourself. Take the love we
>had for them and share it with someone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
man up and take that pussy fam..
she in YO HOUSE and u letting her treat u like SoWhat man when she on ur couch kiss that bitch neck then try to get ur hands in them drawers, if she push u away evict that bitch.

- fabulous / 26 | twentysixfab on aim, yahoo | ebaker_26 on msn
<-- the okaybabyboy™: born february 18
http://www.myspace.com/le_fabuleux

I didn't know her personally, but I remember saying one or two things to her.
It's amazing how much I feel for someone I didn't know, simply because the same thing that brought her to OKP binds us all. And for that reason, I feel deeply for what has happened.

We just need to carry this with us everyday so we are alert enough to give love to each other, especially those who subtly cry out for help.

Thanks again for sharing.

---------------------
the ultimate girl gamer.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

**smile**

very eloquent and absolutely right...

peace

well said

don't have any words for this.

www.myspace.com/mansat

She's my homegirl, yo.
*sigh*
..she got what she wanted, i can't fault her for it.

***************************************
FOR THE GRILLIONTH TIME I AM A GIRL
Yall ackin like girls cant be heathens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QB3Il526g

just trying to console and listen.

we cried. we wondered why. we cried. we got pissed. we tried to piece things together. we looked back. wondered if we could have done more. we cried again

one thing we remembered about you. you were stubborn. not saying in a bed way or a good way. u were just set on something ...anything... and that was it. there was no deterring you.

ultimately this was your choice. :-( you wanted to do this, and even tho we, the people around you, tried to deter you, and actually thought we had. this was obviously something u wanted to do.

well hell. u know how i am. people knew how u were. we thought of some memories. thought of you naming your new car (whoever thought of such? naming their vehicle? :-) )
we remembered how you got the previous one. a POS special. how u said u were gonna drive to chi-town in it. we laughed away a touch of pain.

one of my favorite stories/ memories that we both remembered. u had said that u were just driving along and the car just caught fire. a small fire. and how your pops was upset at his friend, because his friend had done the work on your car RIGHT before is spontaneously combusted.

lay: damn nikki, is the car totalled? are you ok?

3rd i: i'm cool, the car is fine, it was a small fire, but my dad is on the phone with his friend now screaming at him.

lay: well yeah i'd scream too

3rd i: he said he's gonna come back over and look at it, and fix it

lay: sheeeeit. u sure u want THAT negro under your hood...again? i'd be like "nah that's cool"


ha ha we laughed a good lil while thinking back on your personality, and humor, .........and then we cried some more.

i never knew dj teddy bear personally. had just seen him post eveyr now and again. so i could only imagine what the cats that knew him went through. i fuckin understand now. so many questions, so many "did i do all that i could?" u gotta lotta people thinking that right now, nikki.

*cryin...

WOW.....I'm speechless right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

i remembered she was dating someone with the prospects of marriage and she seemed very happy, talking about having children and everything.

i rememeber she came up to ATL a few weeks back....i was out of town and didn't get a chance to hang out with her :(.

i inboxed her since i was going to be near her for a couple days asking her what was there to get into.

i wish her and her family peace...

she still exists.

-------------------

Is it progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?

(c) Stanislaw Jerzy Lee

she was always really nice, funny, cool etc...something about her always stuck out to me..peace on your return to the essence

just damn, prayers will be sent out. R.I.P.


I did only talk to her a few times in the OKP chat, but shit hits close to home.

R.I.P.

This is truly shocking.

sad to say I knew it was only a matter of time.......
I cant beleive this...
and after she did so much to save me....
I...
dont..
....

i hate you
From: 3rd i
Date: Nov 13th 2003
i hate you because i love you and i know you love me
but i understand i cant have you. ill leave you alone but never forget me. you owe me your life

God knows her heart...

Its weird...I kinda knew this day would come eventually.... and I imagined how I would feel.... and this feels far worse.
Life sucks. I thought it was bad when Simmon left us.... this feels like 10X worse, cuz I was actually tight with nikki.

That's deep and sad at the same time to say that you KNEW the day would come. She must have shared some things with you.

I didn't know her but this is soooo sad. I'm going to be reflecting on a lot of things today.

this isnt the kinda of news/post you want to wake up and see.

"Everything's Good Ugly" (in progress)
www.loudminoritymusic.com|http://www.myspace.com/chegrand|http://chegrand.blogspot.com/

________________________________________

www.myspace.com/tobi75

Charles: *points to world maps on his bedroom walls* Mom, I wanna take these down.
Me: Why? I like the maps.
Charles: Because I'm home and I already know how to get here.

May God rest her soul.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DROkayplayer: I'm a Professional Weed Smoker. Not because of how MUCH weed I smoke, but because of how WELL I smoke it.

this is terrible :(

my jaw dropped reading this
i am so sorry :(
may her soul rest in peace

man.

she was a such a sweetheart.


__________

peace to her family.

the lives of those who knew and will miss her.
Allow her to step in your realm of peace
Allow her to come closer to the glory you had in store for her
I humbly ask of you, oh Father, to guide this child of Yours
as she transitions from her life here to an eternal life there with You.
Father, provide her family and friends with the peace of mind they need to continue with their own lives
With love, happiness, and the understanding of sorrow,
Lord, your will be done
In Jesus' name I pray

Amen!

This is hurting me deeply.
I am so distressed by this.

I remember her. Damn!

I hate to think that her cry for help was ignored. By me or anyone else. I can't help but ask myself if there was something I could have done, and didn't.

I truly pray that she gets the peace that she's been searching so frantically for.

May her soul rest in peace.

PS: We need try to be there for one another.

she was a dope writer. very sorry to hear this news.

god bless. safe travels into the next world. peace to all of her family and friends.

ironically enough, we were sitting right next to each other a few years ago at an Alvin Ailey show.

Stop playing...why? What? Aw Gat Dammit!
She is such a spirit and I loved her words.
Aw hell naw....

up prayers. RIP :(

RIP Nikki Chipp. we would sit and shhot the shyt for hours. Haven't talked to her in a while. I'm in shock.

i search for understanding on this, even tho it may never come.

i just pray that her essence is at peace.

3rd_I was also known as sistalikewhoa from the old OK Chat room. She and I chatted togetther for YEARS on Okayplayer before really starting to post in the forums. I am shocked and hurt but glad she isn't suffering. We never did get that chance to hang out like we had said some years ago. This is very very sad. She will be missed. She was one of my first OKP friends.

she was always so nice to me

i don't even know what to say right now

damn.

r.i.p 3rdI




*****~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~~*****

love is a beautiful thang.


http://www.myspace.com/1kahz

Wow, this is so shocking. i didn't know her but i knew her through her posts. You never know what people are going through deep inside, on the outside you tell them they are fine, tell them that everything is going to be ok, and make them laugh to make them feel better but there is soo much more that we dont see.

RIP 3rd I and Peace to your family and friends, my heart goes out to you and your family

yet we rarely talk about it in the black community. so many of our ppl succumb to the stress. i know we all at some point have considered taking the easy way out or so we think. it's amazing how she touched so many through her poetry and her spirit but yet all that was null compared to her problems and situations. i pray that anyone who comes across this post today and are having these feelings will change their minds....


damn this reminds me of ruckspin, i must of cried all day at work when that happened. although, i never physically met these ppl it still hurts to see someone take this road esp since we are like family and whatnot on this site...dysfunction and all.

rest in peace dear!

it gets passed off lightly because everyone says to themselves how they could/would never do it.

damn, damn, damn, this reminds me of that paperdollpoet poem.

She used to live here. We met awhile ago. She moved away cuz Chicago was too damned expensive. It is. When I went to South Carolina I was supposed to meet her on the bridge that leads to Savannah Georgia. She was supposed to take me out in service w her and some frineds. The waffle house next. It didnt happen. We both got busy and she called and said next time I come we would link up. I was planning to go back in September. I still might. I just wont be seeing her. She knew what I knew about God and his love. Every meeting we sang the same songs. How he feels our pain and our hurt. Judah was the one that told me. My mouth fell open and when him and I said our goodnights and peaces I fell on my knees and I paryed for her. Whatever she couldnt find here escapes her now. I wish I coulda met her on the bridge so I could tell her how her words inspired me to write more and think more intune with myself and less logical of a world that escapes logic. Girl, what I do now will be in hopes that Jah knows your heart and maybe I can see you one day later when "cries will be no more. Neither will morning nor outcrys, pain and suffering"

|latina212|


be fluid~~~
be water~~~

peace and blessings to her family and everything. man this is really, really sad.

there's nothing i can say.
----------------------------------------------
i know ya'll at home sayin, 'thats an ignorant nigga,'...but thats a sweet watermelon. © The Illustrious Petey Greene

not compassionate....only polite.

I'm just performing for the cameras in my mind.

one of the people i was closest to...

im in complete.. i cant even type...

Breathe E.Z.

~Vee~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
....:I'm Focused, Man:....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do Not Let This Universe Regret You"

I will hide under the wings of God
I will run unto my hightower
I will hide under the wings of Jah
For He is my refuge-Halleluhah (2x)

I will cry unto Yahowah
I will wait on my Redeemer
I will cry unto my Father
For He is my refuge- Halleluhah (2x)

I will plead my cause O Lord
I will trust in your divine justice
I will plead to the Almighty One
For He is my refuge-Halleluhah (2x)

I will wait patiently for my God
I will declare thy faithfulness
I will wait on my Comforter
For He is my refuge-Halleluhah (2x)

Let my soul rejoice in Jah, my King
Let my soul humbly adore you
Let my soul rejoice in your salvation
For you are my Shepherd-Halleluhah (2x)

**hums**

this is so sad

one day...after i'm gone...you'll realize that i never truly lived my own life...what will you feel? will it inspire you?

And it's true too. Sums up her "issues" perfectly. I hadn't read that in her blog, only figured it out through interacting with her. I'm glad she knew though.

I hope people do learn from that, it might make the world a place worth living in for the rest of us.

damn. damn.

So Sad....condolences to her family and friends and to the whole OKP community.

OKP kec said everything I'm thinking...

she sounded so sad.

-okayplayer loryn, a cali export

aim: Tiye215

alright bitches, i'm on myspace:
www.myspace.com/lcwzeta

http://ignorantart.blogspot.com

"you're never going to get anywhere without being a strategic bitch."-- professor jennifer james, GWU

I am not *totally* surprised...she mentioned it often but I assumed that she'd made peace with those feelings b/c she had been speaking of happy things lately.

She's such a sweet girl, one of the first that I met on here when I was still nervous about talking to new "internet" people.

My prayers go out to her family and all those who've known her.
_________________________________
...my two cents

“Experience is what you get when you
don’t get what you want.” - Unknown

jah give her family strength

Get in JSun's thread and help save 1-800-SUICIDE to help prevent shit like this from happening in the future.

please say you are playing...

this is too much.
god rest her soul

she was a sweetie.

i wish strength for her loved ones.

to everyone here, too.

for her, peace.

<---- That's what's hot

i do wish her the peace she was searching for.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Summer Fool - What!
~~~~~~~~
I would rather maim than kill
Hurt than maim
Intimidate than hurt
Avoid than intimidate.
~~~~~~~~~

No Mo' Jibba Jabba

I've never met anyone who posts on this site. Stuff like this reminds me of how real this place is to some of you, and how much people from here mean to some of you. It really hurts to see stuff like this happen. To me she was just a name and an avatar, but she was a person to a lot of you. This really puts a lot into perspective.

Rest in peace.

I don't understand *why* people do this.

We all have things that we go thru, and shit does get really tough. And I know alot of us have thought about suicide before. But even when shit gets tough, shit also gets better.

Hope she has found peace

.

this is so sad.

How could this happen? It's not right....it's just not right.


"You sound like a weenie when you say "hyphy"..don't say hyphy again okay?" - Morgan

http://www.myspace.com/redheadgyal

i think she fixed me that chicken. lol.

---------------------
the ultimate girl gamer.
http://www.myspace.com/thievinstealberg

I hope babydoll followed instructions right. If she did, then I'm sure that chicken was HELLA good!


<<<RIP BABYDOLL - Moe loves you!

http://www.myspace.com/redheadgyal

her mother says that she felt like she deprived her of all the good foods. She said she never fried chicken, she baked it for her children. I couldnt do anything but laugh when I read this.

I saw the suicide hotline thread first and was like "i hope no one is actually thinking in doing this on here..." cause i know how we joke and play and get on each other...especially when times are bad but I also know that regardless of anything, it's all love here.

This is sad...RIP...I hope that she gets to live in the sky.

just inbox me.

RIP Girl. I'm SOO sorry we never got to hang in SAV or here.

RIP just really aint doing it right now.

"Being the bigger man is overrated." -- Huey (The Boondocks)

myspace.com/dozingoff

<---LoBeOne Kenobi

www.SubterraneousRecords.com
www.LibidoSounds.com
www.myspace.com/mosologist

WaterWorldWeekend - 9/21-9/24 - Ann Arbor, MI
w/One.Be.Lo, SECURITY, Binary Star, Blueprint, Subterraneous, Tanya Morgan, Tableek, Pseudo Slang + more...

Tishana's memorial service will be Sat @11am at Hall and Jones funeral home, 2005 G str brunswick, Ga

no.

i was sleep when i got this info I met "sistawitafro" in the chat room
in 2001 and she was a sweetheart and a great poet
THIS PROVES THAT LIFE IS NOT FAIR!
AND TO BE HONEST THIS WHY I HATE LIFE SOMETIMES, AND IM SORRY BUT IM A BIT MAD, AND A DAMN ETERNITY HURT.
NIKKI WAS A EXTRODINARY POET AND THE WORST THING IN MY HEART FELT OPINION IS THAT SHE NEVER KNEW HOW GREAT SHE WAS.
THIS HURTS IM SORRY I WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE SEEN THIS POST BUT I KNOW IT HAD TO BE MADE

it's amazing the way that people can reach out across miles, across space and time, across the vastness of cyberspace to briefly touch one another. the lesson that i have learned from this sista, is that if someone reaches out to you even in the smallest way, reach back, because even in just clasping their hand, you may pull them back from the edge and save a life.

my sincere prayers for the progress of her soul through all the worlds of God...

<----- ooh you know you rock my world you b boy and i b girl... ♥

gotta support the fam:

http://www.marka27.com/
http://www.blokhedz.tv/
http://www.biz20.biz/
http://www.myspace.com/blackoutboston
http://www.myspace.com/mozim

Nik was good to me and genuinely caring and i appreciate her.

I hope that she is peace now.

i hope her soul finds peace

***************
www.myspace.com/angoleiro
www.myspace.com/manjingaparty

She was always so nice to me (showed a lot of love) despite the fact that we didn't know each other that well. Always wanted to rub my head and whatnot. I'm lifting up prayers for her family and friends. Please stay encouraged during this time.

i remember her being one of the first okyplrs i actually conversed with.

so sad.

prayers for her and her family.

one.

peace.

r.i.p.
man...i remember her from okpchat days.....i mean...wow..this is the first time ive had to deal with an online death of someone i actually had direct interaction with....i dont feel too good about this.
damn suicide...why....
i feel for yalll that knew her better than i....maybe even personally..im sorry for yall...and her family....thats rough....

I know.

I know.

but I know that place, reading her blog is supm serious in the light of what's happened.
God bless her soul.

RIP

-

'till we meet again...

Take your rest Nick...

why....I thought you knew I was going through similar shit....hell I made no bones about it to anyone on the boards...RIP

see, me and her *talked* about suicide at great length because I struggled with my own demons.

I told her that the one thing that keeps me here is that I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I thought she found her tomorrow because the last time we touched base, she seemed in much better spirits.

I'm at a severe loss for words right now.

Does anyone know why she did this? Was there any signs?

And like, where was she from?


So for the many questions, just curious.

My heart just dropped. Damn.....

THIS is why i always tell people that we need to live as if we dont have 2morrow.. this is why we need to live as
if the people in our lives dont have tomorrow..

i want the people i love to know their eulogy from me while they are still here... im known for writing
ridiculously long birthday cards telling people all the reasons im glad they were born and how they have
touched my life and what they mean to me...

i wish she could have seen HOW MANY people she touched.. i wish she knew how much this would effect people..

suicidal thoughts are the most lonely, isolated feelings in the world..

imagine if when you felt at your most alone... you had hundreds of people telling you all at once how amazing
you are and how you have touched their lives....

please please please do not let past broken relationships ride... call those people you fell out with and tell
them you love them..

the regret of not being able to say goodbye is incurable...

niki.. i pray your third eye is soaking in all this love right now.. and glowing...

Breathe E.Z.

~Vee~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
....:I'm Focused, Man:....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do Not Let This Universe Regret You"

FUCK MAN!

im speechless...RIP

This is extremely saddening. My prayers,thoughts, and condolences are with all those who loved, knew, and shared her world.

<---- She's listening to my new shit. Watch her get down on it!!!


www.myspace.com/abngmusic

www.abrothernamedgeorge.com

I didn't know her well, but she was so sweet and fun when we met, and I had no idea she was going through these things. Its funny how a person's death can bring out phoniness is people though, and you all know who you are.

At any rate, I truly hope that Nikki has found her peace, she deserves it for how much she tried at making things pleasant for others. God Bless.

When I was a kid, suicide was just a concept.

Now? One of my best friends from high school... a lady from my church... an aunt of mine... it's real. Very real.

I didn't know 3rd i like others here. But I wish she would have stayed, especially since it sounds like there was brightness intermingled with her dark spots.

God bless her soul.

i hope she found the peace she was looking for. see you on the otherside nikki
____________

Lamont

www.myspace.com/shamelessplug
www.myspace.com/theyesyesyalls
www.myspace.com/dumhi
www.myspace.com/mycrewisnice
www.myspace.com/flourescentmoustache

i thought she was really cool


************************************************************
"Don't be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn't do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn't know what you know today." Malcolm X

I don't know what else to say. I hope her family is holding up well.

.

"We weren't looking to use our music to get laid. We just wanted to have an outlet to express our frustration at not getting laid."

Milo Aukerman

she was one of the 1st people on here to welcome me, and even though we didn't talk that much here recently she was ALWAYS pleasant. I don't know what to say...

I remember she was cool as hell. RIP.



Am I making sense, or am I making TOO MUCH sense? © Phonte
~>http://www.myspace.com/hiphopgyrl

OnLy the Fly IsH...
~>http://www.vintagekicks.com

<----God Bless you Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton

*tears are just strolling down my face* and I never got a chance to meet her in person. We fam here and I cant believe another member is gone.

RIP Sweetie.


****************************************************************

"Men come a dime a dozen and you should have $2 in your pocket" - MoeMoe's Momma

"I Wanna Tap That Canadian Ass Until.....ya ass is leaking syrup" (c) Clash Sic


http://www.borderg

...

She was one of my favorite fellow BBW sistren, regardless of us not being very close in real life. She could always make me laugh and made me feel like a million bucks whenever I came back from an okp break. This doesn't make any sense.

I wish she hadn't gone this route. I'm keeping her, her family, and all those she touched in my prayers.

.

she was always searching for peace. i'm just sad it had to be found this way. *sighs*

Rest in Peace

nik...

Rest in Peace~

--------------------------------------------------
Pinwheels and HulaHoops|the book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.blogspot.com|the life

l'amour est la médecine fidèle d'un dieu.
i'm aching for your awe ©ms mimi diva

prayers for her family

I was NOT expecting this today. God bless your life...find peace.

Dis...Generation 8 Track

we now return you to your regularly scheduled discussions of Kool-Aid, smuttin, and cartoons. ~ KDfromWestP




~ i ain't here on business baby, i'm only here for fun. ~ bruce springsteen

We all have moments of self-doubt, insecurity, just negativity eating away at us. It was good that she found outlets by talking to us as much as she did. I see a lot of us beating ourselves up about not helping her more. Our efforts may have helped her hold on longer so that we could enjoy her more.

this isn't right.

This isn't right at all.

fuck.

why didn't she talk to someone? why didn't she call or email or im or send a fucking smoke signal instead?

why didn't she see how precious she was?

someone please tell me why she felt this was the only way.

*prayers*

It's torture for those who deal with it.
Black people, can we stop sweeping shit under a rug?
We need to look beyond our own lives and comfort zones and be there for each other.
This was one of the hardest posts I've read on here.
But hopefully it won't be in vain.
R.I.P., and my condolences to her struggling friends and family :-(

Didn't know you very much, but it seems you touched so many. I'll say a prayer for you and something good for someone in your memory.

May God Bless You, 3rd I.

and help her family find strength.

and God will forgive her for taking her own life and bathe her in the light of infinite peace throughout eternity...

I pray He will heal her soul with His love and that she can feel all of our love vibrations from the other side...

I pray that her warmth and her smile stay with us even though her physical manifestation is no longer here...

I pray she keeps us with her as she enters a new life made up of perfect poetry...

Nikki showed me how to catch a train in Chicago....Nikki would keep me company when I blew through the city by myself...Nikki sat with me while I waited for my train...Nikki is my friend...

...and I'm shaken that she's gone away.

Damn.

I hope she finds more of what she needed in that world than she did in this one.

Celebrate Nikki's new life. My glass is raised in her honor.


The avatar: Mo' betta makes it mo' betta...

**********************
Quote of a lifetime:
"...music is not just a hobby or what I do...it's what I live...music is the voice of my god, my vehicle for spiritual enlightenement..."
-OKP Illogicz

...man..i can't even form the words for anything else

my deepest condolences to her family and loved ones.

always,
maria.

I wish I had been closer to her, and I pray for her family.

...

You were one of the shining lights on this site, may you find the eternal peace you were seeking.

Condolences to the family and friends and blessing through this extremely difficult time.

nikki - i hope your soul has found peace
i dont know what else to say

and i am so sorry to hear about this.

sigh...

My condolences to her friends and fam. I hope Nikki finds the peace she was so desperately looking for.

R.I.P.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

kurly's Super-Duper Awesome DVD Collection:
http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

on the way home i was listening to this song that i would listen too whenever i was feeling down and out and somewhat suicidal. the song would always clear my head for some reason.

its in greek but the song pretty much says:

"let them envy you, you're better off
its better than having them mourn you
when they notice/enjoy you, everyone loves you
but on you're decline they all forget you

let them envy you, you're better off
its better than having them mourn you
like an eagle fly high in the sky
and let everyone fear you"

it definitely doesn't make much sense to you guys but it does to me.

i wish this didn't have to happen, and i feel worse for people who knew her and talked to her regularly. i dont even remember the last time i talked to her.....

rest in peace nikki

R.I.P.

and they'll stick

que en paz descanse
_______________________________________________
<-- good things start with ch

http://loteriachicana.net
http://flickr.com/photos/cindylu

...this is some bullshit yo...fuck!

nikki had an unofficial support group. some of us are just finding out about each other from this tragedy. she had her own lil network of helpers ... and that's cool, when u think about it. we were partners and some didn't even know it.

so i wanna say thank you to the people that knew her that talked to her when she needed it and listened to her when she wanted it. To her friends that knew her as more than “3rd i”, I’ll say: even if we’ve never talked, interacted, etc.. my inbox is open, if u just need to vent, share stories, laugh, cry, whatever. even the ones that can't bring themselves to type in those post.

we all did our part, and i honestly feel that people pretty much did just about as much as they could with what they had. i had wondered if i had failed her, but i honestly don't think i, or any of you in her "support circle" did. we showed her love, friendship, lectured, listened, laughed. all of that. so i don't want any of us feeling like we failed, cool?

maybe we'll learn some more answers, maybe we won't. today our friend gets laid to rest. so i want you all to rest your minds and hearts. we can remember the good memories, and learn from the not so good ones.

i shedded a few tears for her, and wondered why she took her life. i wish that she could of talked to friends or her family about her problems that she had for her to lead to that situation. but she's home with the lord now in a better place with no pain from this cold world we live in

i didn't really know her, but i remember her posts. this is incredibly sad and so so tragic.

******

I know she had been dealing with health stuff....and we exchanged an inbox or two on how she could deal with it....I didnt so much as suspect things were this deep...I kinda thought of it as a typical okp exchange...we gotta be more careful yall...



Everybody's got a lil light unda the sun....

@}-,-`-

He looks determined without being ruthless
Something heroic in this man, there's a courage about him
Doesn't look like a killer
Comes across so calm, acts like he has a dream
Full of passion

I miss Dilla~

No rhyme... This hits a little too close to home with my non OKP life at the moment.

That's all.

Whatever is impermanent is subject to change. Whatever is subject to change is subject to suffering.
— The Buddha

The Leftist Gospels: http://leftistgospels.blogspot.com/

<a href=http://uchicago.facebook.com/p.php?id=2911698&l=c487bd4249>Facebook me!</

nikki you better give me a giant hug when we meet next.
it hurts that i have to wait till then.

love you, girl.


R.I.P. 3rd i: Heaven has a new Poet Laureate.

i didn't really know her or anything though. i feel for those who did and are suffering now. i can't even imagine :(

R.I.P.

may god take all of your pain and give you his love instead.

i do not know 3rd I, and i don't know many other okp's, but my prayers go out to anyone affected directly or indirectly by this.

:(

I can't believe this!!!!!

fucked up....Burnin 4 ya soul. Blessings....

prayers for her family
i'm so caught off guard
speechless and my heart is heavy
__________________________
RESCUE ME

http://www.myspace.com/happi23

You will be missed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<-------me in my cuzin's bathroom bored at a party

life is so so precious
live people
live



RIP 3rd i
may God bless you and your family

I've been out of the loop on GD, trying to take care of a few things, and I do remember a few weeks ago when she was what I assumed to be a melancholy mood. Half of the time it's hard to tell when someone is serious, or when someone is trying to pull some shit. However, a few years ago I was going through some down time and I hated it. I said this before and I'll say it again, there's the theory that when it comes to depression, it is nothing more than how you feel about yourself. Yet when you are in that state of mind, you feel as if you can't escape, or that you try to keep head above water. When I was going through some of that, I was hopeful that it would end, and looked towards that end. Yet I also questioned myself, because some say that the mind plays tricks on you. I felt "I'm smarter than that, I'm not going to pull myself down" but I was doing exactly that. I look back and wonder how I ever got myself into that state. It may happen again, I don't know.

I did have family, but then you feel that sense of pride, or more like ego which says "I can't tell anyone, it's embarrassing". Even if it's saying "I feel lost, and I feel like I can't escape my situation", that's at least getting your thoughts out of your head and into the open. As any of us know, thoughts will wander and the more you wonder, and ponder, the more things eat up inside. It's not worth the pain, but unfortunately the mind goes where it wants to go. Mental anguish is mysterious, but give yourself some sense of hope and at least seek that light at the end of the tunnel.

I was in that for almost two years, and the one that saved me was my music. Not wrting about it, not only listening to it, but making it. If I get my act together it will be released, since the label I was working with pulled the plug on things, but I did a song in the time I was in a bit of depression. As low as I felt, the song ended up being that light at the end of the tunnel. The song itself is a bit more complex than what I've done, yet there's a bit of positivity in it too. My idea was "if I somehow do not make it in this life (figuratively and literally), maybe the next one will be a lot better. So I offer a cheers, to the next life." It didn't matter about whether or not I believe in a next life or a reincarnation, that wasn't the issue. The idea was that I'm living my life, what came before me I don't know, what comes after me I don't care. I have to live for the now, and (now I'm going to sound like an oldies station) live for today. In other words, I made it through to that bright light, or at least seeked something better. But now what?


When it comes to something like this, you have to help more than "your own", put your ego aside and help the next person. Life is too short to let petty issues consume your life, yet isn't that what life is, dealing with the petty? It's more like dealing with yourself, and coping with the insanity of this life, and hoping to make it in one piece by the time we reach "old age".

I can be a complete idiot on this board, I can be the geek in The Lesson, but if people feel a need to have to open up, feel free to IM me. Just like music and life, I'm always listening.






http://www.myspace.com/crutmusic
http://www.musicforamerica.org/node/110993
http://jbookmusic.blogspot.com
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=johmbolaya
http://www.cafepress.com/mufalaka
http://www.cduniverse.com/default.asp?style=music&frm=lk_johnbook

got on here after a couple weeks; this is just too much. my gosh.

2006 has turned into the most fukkkkkkked yr, in so many ways around...

sister, you will be missed. you def touched us..

yours will ride peacefully and safely now, and thats alll love.

one, indeed.

I remember her clearly. Especially from her poetry. She was always humourous and vivid with everything she did. I cant believe this. I cant believe this.

peace be upon her soul

That's just sad I hope she has found the peace she was looking for...
Dee

where she could not be strong, be stronger for her...reach out and help those that need it in her memory....

this is so damn sad..

much love,
Kyle


"but why oh why do you feel you need to take over the world when you already rule? " ~ calamity june

an inspiration

may the ancestors welcome her with open arms.

i wish the reflections post (well some of it) could have been read there

damn...

haven't even been in GD in MONTHS...

sorry to hear about this. i didn't know her but she seems like she was a cool person to know.

<-- Too intelligent for BET

I didn't know her personally, but she did profess her love for my sound on several occasions. This is just too sad to read. What on earth was going on for her to do this?

My sincere condolences to family and friends who knew her best.