Need advice?
Want to know something about me?
Just want me to tell you a story from my crazy life?
ask and you shall revieve im feeling nice
and if i take this percocet im a be evne nicer holla at me!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

.

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

fired? sorry to hear...

about the job combined
I also hated working nights

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

what are you gonna do now?

This whole thing is strange to me
I've taken care of myself since 14
this really is the lowest point for me
i broke up with my girl because i was an asshole to her
and to quote her I "wallowed in my self pitty"
But im beyoned that i feel numb
all i can do is get a job and pay my debt down charge at a time
i really cant even stress over shit no more
im beyond that

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

I don't want you evicted.

Worse case scnerio i cant make rent
i put my stuff in storage and move in with my mom
till i get a steady job
but even that will leave me feeling like faliure
but better then homlessness


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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

what city are you in? what are you going to do now?

I'm a take things one day at a time
look for a job
and pray to make august rent lol
\
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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

that really sucks, atlanta has a lot going on though, i'm sure you'll find something, i dont know what the temp agencies are like down there...what about that assistance thing people get when they lose their job...shit, i cant think of the word, words...

i know in va its available if youre fired, but not if you quit

fuck

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

how long you been out of a job?

You got fired...

1)if it's part time, it may not be a position in which unemployment compensation is entitled.

2)if you've only worked for a short amount of time, you are not due unemployment compensation.

3)if you are contract, you can't get umemployment.

lol

I don't know your whole situation, but don't look at having to move back home temporarily as failure, but a temporary set back. I was laid off in Jan '02, during a horrible economy. I'd worked for TBS for 8 years as a middle manager and even got a nice severance package, but couldn't find work for 19 months. In that time, I had to move home for 3 of those months while I looked for a job. I lost my retirement, health insurance; had to file for unemployment and almost food stamps; and ended up having to file bankruptcy.


yeah. it sucked.

AND I felt like I had failed humongously. I ended up having to take a job in which I was majorly (even insultingly) underpaid, disrespected, etc. but it paid off. Several months ago,I got an excellent job and I'm pulling my shit back together. But it has not been easy.


I know it's all shits and giggles on OKP, but on the real, do not for one second think that you are alone, that you've failed, or that this is anything other than a minor setback.

Sometimes you look up and see everybody doing better then you
then other times you see that everyone goes thru setbacks as well
I'm just focusing on pushing thru this right now
I know it wont be easy but when things do get better
this will allow me to apperciate it that much more

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

the moment we all get home we're all stressin' over the same sh*t.(i.e. Bills, we hate our job, relationship woes, etc.)
If your friends are making less than 60k a year in Atlanta, then rest assured that they are having some issues, it's just that they aren't making them known to you.

Don't stress it man...you gotta hit the bottom before you can stand on your feet to see the top.

----------------

But when i push thru this
those same worries wont be as bad

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive ...

I had just gotten fired from a job where I was employee of the month twice in the past year, and had gotten so many bonuses for exceeding goals. They were fired people so they woldn't have to pay severance. My company lost ALOT during 9-11. My whole departement got fired. Not laid off, but FIRED. 40 people.

I had spare savings, I was able to keep my apartment for 4 months...then my car caught on fire. Don't ask why.

So I was sleeping on spare floors when I could, going to a 20 hr a week parttime job that paid 6 bucks an hour- just enough to cover my cell phone bill (was crucial to finding a job at the time since I was always on the move), food and marta passes.

Opportunities. When they knock, you just gotta run out and grab them with both hands, and not worry about the consequnces. Even if they don't look like nothing, they stepping blocks.

I mean, I thought I was low at THAT point.

NO.

A year later I was trying to think if I should sleep in the library at night- if I could get away with it n shit. I was carrying everything I owned with me( that my boy couldn't hold for me) EVERYWHERE.

Then my boy moved to philly and I had to come up with a real solution. I had to move back in with my parents.

I was thinking before then that I was at least- even if I was homeless, I was holding my own.

And you gotta understand, this was about a year and a half after I was making what still is the nearly the best money I made in my life. But I was living high, yo. I had the ill outfits, no car payment, eating out everyday, clubbin every night- dropping $75, $100 at the bar- buying folks drinks n shit...paid off a few credit cards tho from college.

And then NOW? I was living on nigga's floors n shit.

So, I move in with my folks. I hate living with my parents. It's a mental mind fuck. If you knew my parents, they are GOOD people, but we get along like fire and ice- like salt and wounds.

They helped me buy a used 4Runner because living in Roswell, there is NO hope of working without a car. Especailly where they live. I find a job ALL the way up in fucking Flowery Branch, GA. It's a temp job with some weird fucking people- racist manager, etc. She used to tell us she would get us fired if she could (the blacks on her team). I was working at the Avery Label plant making LABELS, son. 12 hrs a day- the night shift, 8.50 per hour. We got an xtra .50 for working the night shift, family.

I was living in ROSWELL which is already the boondocks and it took me an hour and a half to drive up to the job. The Gas alone was killing my check (fucking 4 runner). I nearly fell asleep every day on my way home becase having to cut thru Gwinnett took me 2.5 hours to get home.

Only thing that made it bearable is that my nigga from college (we dropped out at the same time) was there with me, and we laughed HARD every night.

So the racist bitch used to use every excuse to fire black people. I hate that I got moved to her team. But she always was short handed cus she was firing the niggers. I HATED this job, I hated HER, but worked my ASS off.

I did FAR and BEYOND my job description- tried to make myself invalueable cus I figured I love my girl and if we are ever going to get married, I need to get out of this fucking hole I'm in, finish school, etc.

I re- enroll in school. I'm going to JC-I'm writing for the Paper n shit, I go to class str8 from work- I'm late as hell every day, but fuck it. Most of my classes were on Saturdays anyway.

Well one day on my way back from school I decide to get my mother a present for her birfday. I'm half sleep and I run into a car. First accident in my life. I'm fucking 24, and I get my first accident.

Rates go up, I get a ticket- and my 4 runner is no longer acking right.

FFWD...it gets to the point where I can't drive the 4 runner to work no more.

I catch rides with my nigga up to the job in flowery branch. One day his car gives out at the job.

His lazy pop picks us up 7 hours later. We were stranded in Flowery Branch for that long- TIRED.

Before I leave I see my manager coming in to work early. I tell her- look. I can't come in. I made adecco (the temps service i was with) aware of my situation as well. I told my manager "we haven't left the job YET". I haven't had any sleep-or anything to eat except twix bars. We can't possibly work a full shift.

She said, cool.

I get home, check my messages... Adecco: "Avery terminated your contract".

So now, I'm just livid. But I talk to my girl, and I'm cooling off.

Next day, time to find a new job, right?

I got skillz, shit.

My 4 runner stalls out on me on GA 400.

FUCK.

That was it.

No job.

No REAL skills.

No Money.

Living in Roswell.

Living with my parents who were charging me rent (justifiably)

I couldn't see no way out.


That night I was so far gone- I coulda killed someone. I thought, I'ma end up going to jail. I'ma be a statistic. So I deceid to kill MYSELF.

I figured, that's the only way out at this point. Can't nothing good come from my life at this juncture. Shit, I was just a burden on my lady. I was becoming THAT BLACK man they talk about on tv n shit.

Worthless.

I was like, fuck it. so I got me a large bottle of wray and nephew out my parents cabinet and went about the business of doing the do.

I call my wife to hear her voice one last time, and she freaks cus she hears my desperation. She calls my parents. My dad walks in on me- there is blood everywhere.

he got me b4 the worst happened. My wife comes all the way to Roswell to take me to the hospital...My parents are paralyzed with grief.


...So FFWD. I'm living in a Savannah Suites. The one RIGHT by Django's over on peachtree and pine. I kept thinking, man - I'd LOVE to be a fucking club promoter. That'd be the shit. I'd throw a party RIGHT THERE.

I'm overlooking at Djangos from the hotel staircase- it's drug dealers, and hoes living next door to me. Niggas str8 out of prison too.

A dude I used to drink with at the crib back at Georgia Southern just HAPPENS to be a cop in the area. He got laid off and couldn't find a job either. So he became a cop.

He's walking his beat telling me how rough the neighborhood is.

Shit, I'm motivated tho, cus my lady has stood by me in my darkest hour- still in school, parttime at the JC. I don't mind the rats, the fiends, the criminal element, the smell of piss everywhere.

I met a dude on the train, talked to him and lucked up on a FIRE ass job. He said I had to go interview TODAY- FAR, FAR away up on windward pkwy. I did that shit, cus fuck it. Niggas got it bad. Took me 2 hours on transit to get up there every morning, but it was the best money I made in my life.

Finally began to get my life on track.

Took my shahada, got me a crib in the West End (which is where I WANTED to be), Enrolled at Clark Atlanta- not knowing how I was going to PAY for that shit...

It was like God gave me a new lease on life, yo.

That was a DARK 3 year period for me. So dark that I had stopped writing, and haven't been able to really write since then. A nigga was scarred.

But out of it came some wonderful shit.

I'm so happy right now- I couldn't tell you how happy I am.

This shit happens, it's life.

But I'll tell you this.

NONE of the opportunities that came my way during that period were overlooked. I saw everything as a fucking sign,yo. When a door opened I charged thru it.

That's what you gotta do.

Life will try to knock you down. You gotta stand up. Sometimes you can't do it on your own, and God will humble you for being proud- that's a good thing.

You got your life, man. That in itself is a blessing. Just be encouraged, and make the damn thing happen. Don't sell yourself short either. You never too old, or too far gone. Go on and chase your dreams cus sometimes that's the greatest source of inspiration.









<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

This is the realest thing you could have done
your story is so inspiring becasue
everything you said I feel like I'm going through right now
From you goign clubing
to feeling like you and yoru parents dont get along and the mental defeat of moving back in
its like your story is my story is abby's story
Peace King

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

or at least most inspiring ones I've read on OKP. ATL OKP's feel like family up in here.
.

You always feel embarrased to talk to friends about this shit- you don't wanna come off needy so it's hard to talk to fam about that shit. You don't want a check, you want insight.

I can say that 2 okps: Filthy and Sunchild were a great help during this period- talking about dreams and goals and how to accomplish them. Still do from time to time.

You don't wanna "burden" your loved ones, and sometimes you need that forum to talk on some shit.

That's why I love this community, and will always try to help folk out on here. Forever grateful.



<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

when were talking
i just remember having a strong urge to send you that quran

important for people to share stuff like this because we always think that everyone else is doing better. People don't realize that ALL of us go through hard times. Thanks for sharing this, Firebrand.
________________________________________

www.myspace.com/tobi75

Charles: *points to world maps on his bedroom walls* Mom, I wanna take these down.
Me: Why? I like the maps.
Charles: Because I'm home and I already know how to get here.

just wow.

eye

I just...I dont know...

This post is just wonderufl in the fact its giving me and others hope...

Y'all are making me teary...

More guts & heart than a little bit. Respect...

Peace,

*** MARBLES ***

thank you for this

this was so heartfelt. I'm truly grateful that you took time to write this. It is going to help somebody so much to hear your words and to know that God never leaves you. NOt even in your darkest hour. And through your testimony someone will be saved. Your words are evidence that ANYTHING is possible if you believe.

Thank you.

good to hear you're doing fine now .... you have to have hard times to appreciate the good ones .... on a side note Southern racism is so much different than Northern racism...
---------------------------------------
<< NOW THAT'S FIREWORKS FO' YO A*$

<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

Because I am going through it now. And I do not have anyone there. But I am maintaining. And I have interbiews so i am glad. Thank you for this. THANK YOU i needed it hear it too.

it obviously has made you... that's peace...



http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2115026546

'inner city' innovator = http://www.hainsleybrown.com

forreal.

god bless you. and thanks for throwing that up for us to read.

I needed to read this for real cuz I have been going through some things this year. I'm glad everything is good with you now. Over the past couple of years, all the times I hung out with you I would've never guessed that you went through all that.
Much love to you.


http://www.myspace.com/t_neezy

We need to get together and have an atl support group lol


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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

what a story
wow
greatness

Thank you again for sharing

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

It's always going to be challenges. Shit, i been thru some odd situations since then, but you can't let that shit spoil your goals. Keep your dreams in focus. Right down your plan- a real plan and your step bu step PROCESS on how you will acheive it.

Pirice out things you will need, trainning, whatever...

But that into your budget for what you want, and begin to work towards it.

Shit, I'd speak on it more, but the shit could be a damn book.

I mean, you just gotta make up your mind that God is there for you, if you are obedient to God, and LISTEN. If you are AWARE ...GRAB onto opportunities and don't let go. What's the worst that could happen?

I remember the first few parties we threw, we made a committment and had NO way of fundinging it.

Up till a month b4 school started I had no idea how I was gonna pay for it. I enrolled at Clark for a year before I actually took any classes.

We started looking for a house not because we had our money str8, but because we knew it was better than paying rent.

I got let go from one job and LEFT another the DAY we closed on our house because an opportunity had arisen for me to get a NON PAID UNOFFICIAL internship in the field I wanted to work in.

7 months later, I'm making nearly the same I did at the Bank in my desired field because of the connections I made there- able to pay bills.


There is consisetency in the choices I made even tho they might LOOK crazy to others. I KNOW exactly what I want- I feel Allah (swt) has CALLED me to do it, and I LISTENED I PAID attention to the path that was laid for me.

You have got to make a plan, yo.

And stick to it AND God, and it will work out. Cus in reality? That's the ONLY light at the end of the tunnel.





<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

thanks for putting that up there
that's really inspirational

How much reading that made me feel better...

I honestly thought I was the only one going thru bullshyt right now...

Its good to read about someone who knows what Im talking about and they made it thru and is doing well...Gives me hope that I will come out of this slump too...

Cause GOD knows I dont know what I am going to do with myself somedays...

make no mistake about it.

http://www.myspace.com/t_neezy

This is sooo not a good look for you!

Okay..I was kidding but DAMN fam. You and I both were going through it and I am still with you. That job I got is bullshit...I have only worked once this past week. I have NO idea how I am paying July's rent. June's carnote didnt get paid...and July's wont either. That shit is a fucking struggle...I feel your pain.

an answer

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

I got a car and no money.

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

and i was to busy crying hiding from her
so she didnt see me crying
that i didnt stop her from leaving

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

only the good parts though.

and lend your friend syncere money


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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

And i was online less
so we caught up with each other less
it wasnt planned
its just hard to explain to your girl why your on the phone with another girl
for hours
"(
You are really my fried past just internet friends
and i apoligze but ive been depreseed and tied down
i havent talked to anyone much lately

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

<----- ...Only by tapping into the dark side could his true potential be gained...

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

in this post?

it's not blatant but from what i'm reading...it's really some suttle "Doyouwantsomepussysinceyouhavenoluckvertisment.


My only other question is "when you gonna get up on some hoes and get'cha mind off of ol' girl?

To officially forget ole girl


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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

a nice long weekend.

You'll be like "Ole girl who?"

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

be like "let's go get on these hoes...."...


But come to think of it...I can be a good a nice wingman right now....

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

hmmm I dont dislkike dark skin women i mostly joke
but I do tend to lean towards light skin women for no appartent reason
I didnt really notice i liked light skin women till like last year
i dont know thats just who i usuallly end up with
funny because when i thought about it most of my gf's were light or spanish
but i had a huge crush on a dark skin girl in high school
and if she wasnt at the tanya morgan show wit her man i would have : )~
d okp hersheybit

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

I guess..

Do you feel youve grown, in terms of how you carry yourself in a relationsh, since the last one ended?

Between the relationship and the stress of things
I feel more appreciteve humble and prepared
also i understand relationship more
i realize i never had or wanted one before becuase i didnt give a shit about changing
thats good and bad
it protects your feelings
but doesnt allow for relationships
when am an asshole i dont care about what the girl thinks or feels
i just care about me
when you start caring about others their actions hrut you more
and you want to change your behaviur so you dont hurt them
wow this is really soft
but honestly in relationships it pushes you to be a better person
and i think thats beautiful
being single you dont have anyone to push you to grow
so you just reamin who you've always been and dont improve as much

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

you woulda NEVER said that shit 3mnts go...well unless your buzz was serious./

*hugs*


http://www.myspace.com/t_neezy

I kind of figure that you've passed out by now, but i'm curious.

You aiight?

six flags or somethin to get on these hoes for a day, i got you.

no bullshit.

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

<---We're all together, we stand for right.
www.myspace.com/northernarcatl
www.last.fm/user/KwadwoJuma/

JULY 29

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

It ain't right.

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

post your dirt. post your rumors. post your comments. post your theories. post it all. LOL. You got truth. post that too.

i'm waiting.

You'd like that wouldnt you?
Dont worry it wont be that easy for you


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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

you really really really want me to care about this so called picture and dirt you have on me, don't you?

I mean, i'm flattered that Lingo is your holy grail of okp.

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

I come over and act like im mowing the lawn
then she walks out in her drawls and brings me lemonade
then I wax dig her out and leave a john deer nut mark logo on her ass

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

i'm humored.

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

you need therapy

Have gotten to you

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

THE FRAY AND AUGUSTANA

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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

I think for me and every one else who's going thru the struggle
it would be good to look at this post
and firebrands story in times that we think things have no hope
Anyone second this?


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<------ATL hoe dont disrespect it!

.

Archive this

FireBrand's heartouching story of redemption.
Syncere and Lingo's back and forth.... LOL