.....do you do it? have you done it before? why? why not?

the other day i was doing some networking at a reception. i wore a really, REALLY low cut cocktail dress. *knowing* that my boobs are GIGANORMOUS and that it would draw lots of attention because there were a lot of men there.

but then...

i started getting a little more attention than i wanted, and definitely not the *kind* of attention i wanted.

the oogling, drooling, hungry looks from the men, obviously not interested in my talent. the disgusted, she-must-have-slept-her-way to the top, stares from the women.

i had an "a-ha moment" (c) oprah. i had been so shy and so insecure about my body--especially my breasts--for so long, that it was like i had started rebelling against myself. i was using the attention to validate my physical worth in order to redeem the part of me that has a poor body image.

although that night wasn't the 1st time i had teasingly used my sexuality for attention, it was definitely the 1st time i went that far. but that night, it was like i caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and i was not happy with reflection. needless to say i'm on that "new leaf" stuff now.

oh, and i have to add that at the end of the day, it's not about flirting or low-cut dresses or anything else like that. cause that's just fits some people's personalities. but when we're MOTIVATED by insecurity, we'll never be able to be proud of the outcome.