Since the archives have been wiped clean from the face of the Earth since the upgrade, alot of the gems need to re-surface. So I am going to start that off here. We have ALOT of newer OKPs since we did this last. So just follow my lead. You'll understand.

Lay your woman naked flat on the bed and tell her to "hold on real quick." Take 4 Ls to the head. Zone out and begin to freestyle yourself for about 20 minutes. Turn around and look back at the bed and say to the woman "Yo why u layin' there naked son?"

Genius

-----------------
tryna play like

U
NO
ME

while your lover tries furiously to satisfy you in missionary position, berate them and tell them if you were someone else, they'd be performing better than they are right now

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

_________________________________
...my two cents

I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

http://profiles.myspace.com//LoveRonni

Have your woman in the cowgirl position (her on top). 2 minutes before climax, reach behind your bed for the skull you bought on Canal Street that lights up in the dark. Hold that in one hand. Light 3 sticks of Nag Champa and hold in the other hand. Shake both vigorously in the air until climax. Push the girl off and ask "Yo where the liquor at? Yo don't play me where da liquor at?"

Put all cell phones on vibrate, Put em all on her clit. Call each one, one by one, whilst eating dat monkey.

change into various sexual positions during intercourse. while doing so, mention this particular position you invented. if you did not invent it, say you know the guy who did. then take them to freedom

.

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

Put the new System of a Down in one stereo. Put Dipset's Diplomatic Immunity in another stereo. Opposite sides of the room. Hit your woman off doggy style while explaining the merits of both albums with a Heineken in each hand, not spilling a drop.

after a long courtship and elaborately set up dates, you grow tired waiting for the payoff and go in to kiss him and he screams "YOU STOLE MY MOVE! I CREATED THAT MOVE! I AM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS! RESPECT MY AUTHORITAY"

.

Engage in a variety of positions while having "Make some noise, bitch" yelled at you.
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

Engage in a 30-minute sweat inducing missionary style sex session.

After climax, say "I hated it." Go to living room and make aluminum foil sandals.

http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://www.myspace.com/shinobishaw

set up a sex date with a tasty young man or woman of your liking
speak to them on the phone before the rendevous and say 'you have fun. bust a nut for me' and then stand them up

Grow
"Imagine this..."

Order Sixty Six

"And sorry if I seem a lil bold, I'm too damn old to be playing these games with ya..."

..t's KILLIN' it this week...

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

Have sex with the fear of hitting the wrong spot and having "Aww, you dumb muthafucka!" yelled at you at any given moment.
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

>"Aww, you dumb muthafucka!"

Ĵεŋ

tell your lover everything that you plan to do to them. brag about your prowess and how fantastic your love making will be.

lay them down on the bed, unbutton your shirt and then say that you don't really feel up to it and go home or to queens. ;)

~K

.:Southern Belle::Magnolia Smell:.

there is no kristy - only zool.

u forgot to add go home to queens and sleep with someone else

~K

.:Southern Belle::Magnolia Smell:.

there is no kristy - only zool.

after listening to him go on and on about his sneakers you finally get him ready to get busy
just when y'all think it's about to go down and be the greatest session ever, desus busts in and starts singing "It's So Hard To Say GOodbye", t510 comes in next screaming "THEY SHOT TUPAC", then okayplayer after okayplayer comes in adding colorful commentary til y'all get tired and throw up your hands and leave

Any type of awkward sex
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

i was about to cus u out
till i relaize it was youse
lol
--------
photobloggin' it: http://richlouis.blogspot.com/
bloggin it: http://thehomelands.net/blogger.html

Hit the girl doggy-style in the dookey chute while looking into the full length mirror you placed on her back.

Blow kisses to yourself.

Climax on guitar and proceed to strum it.

************************************************

<<<<<<<<Don't Drool On The Avy>>>>>>>>

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"
-George Clinton

**************** OKP Free Agent****************

Get VERY tipsy of a wine of your choice. Grab your man by the collar and bring him to the bedroom and tell him you need BET on to get in the mood. Make sure it's a Soul Food marathon on. Engage in passionate, headboard breaking sex. Any time Boris Kodjoe appears on screen, stop immediately, crumble into a ball and cry until the scene is over. Return to sex.

gracious.

starts with a rigorous screening process in which you filter out any potential coital mates who like subpar music

induce foreplay by showing mate your most treasured musical albums. slap their hand if they try to touch them

have sex in positions that allow you view of your music collection

hahaha

--me--
http://www.myspace.com/onesoulfulnegro

Take a young lady or man of your liking to your bedroom. Turn on smooth r&b (preferably Donnie Hathaway). Slowly strip their clothes off, planting kisses ever so softly. Lay them back and just look at them, switching toothpick for side to side. In 10 mintues, orgasm is reached (accompanied with glitter falling from the ceiling)

Grow
"Imagine this..."

Order Sixty Six

"And sorry if I seem a lil bold, I'm too damn old to be playing these games with ya..."

.

****************************************************
Avy: The Brown Bomber

the toothpick and "pretty ducst"...priceless.

Yell "I'm CUMMING FOR YOU NIGGA!!" upon climax

similar to a real life occurence i had

today in black history we celebrate: I never did represent doing dumb shit © chuck d
http://www.icetekwatch.com/people/Ying_Yang_Twins/Ying_Yang_2.jpg

sell your mate porn. pocket the cash. leave
then complain about women

i'll be back with instructions

break into someone's home while they are having intercourse and observe. make many loud comments on sex that you've read online and seen in books or porn. climax. exeunt. go to church.

Have the best sexual experience of your life only for him to tell you afterwards why it was overrated
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

Lay your head on the woman's shoulder for 20 minutes before doing anything intimate.

At the 21-minute mark, take out old back issue of X-Men. Instruct the woman to assume the doggystyle position. Lay comic book on the woman's back and read whilst stroking. Command the woman to yell "EXCELSIOR!" when she's about to cum.

Place "You must be this tall to ride" scale in front of bedroom door. If you are under, sorry charlie


Grow
"Imagine this..."

Order Sixty Six

"And sorry if I seem a lil bold, I'm too damn old to be playing these games with ya..."

initiate foreplay to relax consisting of alcohol and or marijuana. begin to laugh hysterically and fall asleep.

---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

stuff your lover with a tasty meal and sweet nothings
get set to get busy all oily and greasy
then refuse to go any further until he insists that you taste like Georgia Peaches

..upon climax, she will smack said partner wit' ivory and yell

"..DOMINO, mufukah!.."

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

>..upon climax, she will smack said partner wit' ivory and
>yell
>
>"..DOMINO, mufukah!.."

so I laughed so loud when I read this, my boss came and asked me was I ok...dumb funny!


"If you feel your life is much too hard, just go have a talk with God." ~Stevie Wonder

"Man you fakin!" ~Simmon
RIP baby I love ya...find peace

"Love is just a four letter word just like shit damn fuck AIDS..."~Mr. Fenner

Set up mini-karaoke machine w/ microphone on the bed. Wear a fedora and hold a glass of red wine whilst hitting it slow. Put the volume to 10 on the karaoke machine. Every 10 seconds put the mic to your mouth and ask the woman "Are you faking? You can tell me. I can take it like a man."

.

I don't remember this post being done before...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

provide a hulk hogan costume for your lover while you dress up as brett hart
rope off the bed
toss your lover on the bed and put her in a figure 8, bang her til she begs for mercy or pretends that the match, I mean the session, is over
never take off your costume

Call up your lover and rile them up over the phone to get ready for lovemaking.

Get in your car and drive and forget how to get to your lover's house.

~K

.:Southern Belle::Magnolia Smell:.

there is no kristy - only zool.

http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://www.myspace.com/shinobishaw

Feed your mate a brownie with ice cream and watch their crotch rise, and watch them convulse and pass out.......... then walk away smiling.

take'em to dinner, the movies, the bookstore, the grocery store, and finally their crib. Be sure to close them in a heated car while you walk around to the driver's side of the car during travel. When at their crib, have lively conversation while sitting on the couch massaging him/her. Get'em heated and when it's time to get busy....remember that you forgot the jimmys. Click tongue and say "DANG IT!"* Go home and play video games.

*"CRAP!" will suffice also.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

.

Get a bit tipsy, yoke up conquest in a headlock with threats of never getting any cookies, pass out before anything happens.

you know you want me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

while wearing your most humble gear book a fine dude and bring him back to the crib
strip to your underoos and demand that your conquest rip up a picture of jazmean and spit on it
when he refuses call him a jewish bitch and kick him out

.

..

do the down the way
dayton youngstown cleveland cincinnati

in the beginning
there was sand and dust
and niggas like us
(c)sa-ra

Come to the bedroom in nothing but glasses and fingerless gloves.

Make love to your woman in every way imaginable and unimaginable.

Grab her hand after she climaxes and bring her to your PC.

Instruct her to make a MySpace account and add you as her "friend."

..wit' paint EVERYWHERE...

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

1) Walk into room together
2) kiss each other
3) strip
4) turn on computer
5) take turns writing cybersex messages


Grow
"Imagine this..."

Order Sixty Six

"And sorry if I seem a lil bold, I'm too damn old to be playing these games with ya..."

the cyber messages are 1st.

lol

-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

insist your mate be completely clean, washed, and trimmed
produce a jar of special intercourse body scrub you made for the occassion
then decline sex as it will ruin your hair

Get sent a copy of 'love jones' in the mail two days prior with a message that says "Take notes"

---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

Go over to your mate's house and proceed to the bedroom..... while pounding it... tell her how wrong she is for having drawls with disney characters on them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

But I am cool with the Betty Boop boy cut panties jump-off.... just sayin'....

Wear nothing but a Michael Jordan Bulls jersey, #23.

Ask your lover to wear a John Starks Knicks jersey.

Commence to wear that ass out with your tongue stuck out. Say nothing.

I keed. I keed.

Tell your mate that you are gonna come through..... put on your running shoes.... and run from the other side of town, but pass up her house because the run was so good... then call her the next day and say "I ran past your house too far, and didn't want to run back"

go home alone after you obliviously turn down every woman who throws herself at you
before you get in the bed send up a prayer asking God to send you a good woman

throw themselves at me.......... and if they do, they strip off my clothes and laugh and say "psyche"

thrown myself at you plenty of times to which you replied that you did not have enough gas money to get to Atlanta*

.

Play Mars Volta to set the mood... while hitting that donkey punch your mate, then write poem about "5th Ward til I die" and hang it on the wall with a samurai sword.

Have sex and then receive a phone call from him/her disguising their voice saying "hi, i heard you slept with ____. wasn't he/she great?"

This conitnues for about a year.
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

Take your lover into a dark room and close the door behind you. Tell her to feel her way to the bed and to wait. After a duration of time of your choosing, quietly feel your way over to the bed, sneak up behind her, give her a pound and go "Yo whassup."

get your conquest back to the rest and put on a cd to set the mood
after you find out he doesnt know the words to "Millie Pulled A Pistol On Santa Claus" kick his ass out, make yourself a sandwhich and go make fun of your brother

*disclaimer do not do this move unless u are confident in ya SNC skills...

place victim in full body sock...put on draws off stripper mix..and hump the wrinkles out ya clothing

shit

Have sex anywhere in the world and wonder "where does s/he keep getting Henikens from"

---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

Upon climax when you're unsatisfied call your lover a fucking idiot. When they try and talk about what went wrong, only argue what a fucking idiot they are.

tell your lover to google the solution to the given lovemaking problem.

Get in bed ready for some sexing. S/he will go in the bathroom to get ready. After awhile you wonder what's taking so long and ask if they are coming out, s/he replies "I'll be ready in 10 minutes"

This goes on for an hour.

---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

karkar
keybored
vex
gypsyojos

i would but i dont have a clever/funny bone in my body

i don't get any of it!

after unsuccessfully spending your evening trying to "bump into" CyrenYoung, pick up the first curlyhaired negro you see
while climaxing scream "OH CYRENYOUNG THIS IS SO GENTLE AND SEXY"
immediately send him packing and go back to walking round your neighborhood trying to find Cyren

while hittin' that.... bend backwards towards the keyboard and proceed to post on how good you are getting it right now.... then take the digicam and proceed to show OKP a play by play on how you are putting it down... while sticking your tongue out at the screen.

Spend 2 hours arguing "no you come over" "No, YOU come over"

Give up and masturbate,
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

..i'm crackin' up over here...
__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

fuck your cousin then talk about it online thinking you'll get cool points

so wrong for this


"If you feel your life is much too hard, just go have a talk with God." ~Stevie Wonder

"Man you fakin!" ~Simmon
RIP baby I love ya...find peace

"Love is just a four letter word just like shit damn fuck AIDS..."~Mr. Fenner

while making sweet passionate halle on billy bobesque love to the pinktoe of your choice, loudly misspell, mispronounce and generally act as ignant as humanly possible

ie: OOOWW, bahba..THAS MY SPIT...right there, right thurrrrrrrrr


www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

...but THAT'S MY SPIT just made me almost spit laughing.

"They are obviously the best team I've played against all season...You play against a team like that, and they put you through hell. You have to have a lot of respect for them... They're the team I'll be cheering for." -- Allen Iverson
******************

www.myspace.com/angoleiro

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

Thanks alot, now I have to go pee.

*****************************************
rosemary's babydaddy
*****************************************

Send the lover of your choice a photo essay of things you’d like to do to him/her. Spend the entire lovemaking session “posing him/her naturally.” When you're done, challenge him/her to a drinking contest, lose horribly, proceed to dance all up on him/her whilst vigorously spanking your own ass.

Deny the whole thing for years to come.

.

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost

when looking over your shoulder during doggie, you find yourself frozen in midlook, because your lavender/chauntruese/bright yellow hair do made you look oddly like a modern day version of Jem


www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

tap ya ear and say show time Synergy

rescue a girl from some hooligans trying to attack her
take her to the finest of vegetarian restaurants and lavish her with compliments and ask her to be your queen godess new earth
take her back to the rest get busy and kick her out after she wont let you squirt on her tittays

>rescue a girl from some hooligans trying to attack her
>take her to the finest of vegetarian restaurants and lavish
>her with compliments and ask her to be your queen godess new
>earth
>take her back to the rest get busy

pull out and exclaim "what about the titties?"

during the act whisper in their ear about the celebrities who came by your job today

Start the evening off by forcing your mate to bow to the altar of Shaquille O'Neal standing across from the bed. Tell her that this is in preparation for receiving "The Most Dominant Force in the History of Coitus". Turn on the R. Kelly mix on the computer, starting off with "Seems Like You're Ready". Proceed to lay plastic out on the bed, lay the girl down, pull it out, and let her taste the golden spray. Continue with the R. Kelly mix to climax, making sure to smile at the camera randomly during the act.

_____________________________________________________________
An Official Okayplayer.com Midnight Marauder

http://www.tamusigmas.org
http://xaraya.jrojr.com (in progress, soon to be www.jrojr.com)

<---------- WE COMIN' FUH DAT NUMBA ONE SPOT

;)
Breathe E.Z.

~Vee~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Drive Stick.. an I'm Focused, Man...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bring home the JC Chavez look-a-like you met at the NSync Karoake Extravaganza
tell him before y'all go any further he must get a Mary Kay facial and buy 5 tubes of Satin Hands
when taking his credit card information, see his id and notice that he's over 18
tell him he's too old for you, give him his receipt and send him on his way

Bathe yourself in Essence of Badger oils and lotions. The scent attract women of all afro and dread types to your lair. Light candles and make slow, passionate love to the woman. When all is said and done, reach to the nightable, give her your cell number and tell her to put her phone number in it. Give her a flyer for Fresh Produce.

*******************
I had the Tyrese crazy love making episode planned, crawling around underneath the sheets n everything~ desoos

"may i have a red plastic cup of water, please?"

while grasping your straight from ikea bookcase in 1 hand, and your headboard in the other, quote poetry, and create enough friction to cause all the nag champa in the house to catch on fire


www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

while sitting in a chair, far away from the people having unlawful carnal knowledge on the bed in front of you, place hands over eyes.

however: allow other hand to roam freely over body while occasionally drawing in deep lungfuls of badussyfied air.


www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

take your date on a walk in the park while holding hands
go to the coffeeshop and read him excepts from "the black man's guide to loving a strong black woman"

tell him you have a treat for him
bring him back to your room and kiss and hug for hours
fall asleep while he's spooning you
cry yourself to sleep after you wake up and see him banging your roommate

punch self in face. take picture. post on internet. slap self w/ cold luncheon meats, namely olive loaf. take picture. post on internet. mash glossy 8 x 10 of latrell spreewell into nethers. take picture. post on internet. call up bisexual cross dressing hermie. pay it to play your best friend. take picture. post on internet.


www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

go out to the club and watch all the cool kids have fun dance and party
get upset when the girl you've been eyeing all night doesnt respond to your stares and come up and talk to you
go home and lock every post on okp through the tears

lady on the table on her back, legs up in a V
guy does cartwheels in place
women uses toy to finish what he ain't doin'

*takes a bow*


coming soon.....the AO (it'll blow ya mind.)

girl is on one of those sit-n-spin toys
guy does cartwheels around the table.



WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT????!!

remember -- she has the sit n spin in her ass.

*bows*

it's all about the bottom....
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!
Real Soul sistas like me don't grow on trees- Vicki Anderson

Wanna know when hot shows are coming? www.mn8online.com

http://www.myspace.com/gravity508

Upon hearing that "you are a pervert"... reply with "that's a pretty big word for a 9 year-old."

www.loudminoritymusic.com
tanya morgan - moonlighting coming summer 2005
Hey Jude ob la di ob la da, let it be.
++holler if you ever been placed in handcuffs++

Find a fine white woman and take her to your place. As you kiss her you feel buckshots on the back on her neck and realize she's a poser. Get upset, but since you're still horny angrily inquire "Well is you at LEAST got some Indian in yo family?" If she says no, put her out and enjoy yourself some White Castle's while watching Andy Griffith...

it will be your first time with her she says "not tonight, I want to wait".
you let her stay and the next day you get online talking about how you 'kicked that bitch to the curb'

female:kneel standing strainght up, not with butt on feet
guy: get in it from behind, make sure to go UP in it not straight in it. Thrust up not forward. and use one hand to make da brestesess happy the other down south
female: if he likes it, please da booty, if not, just rub his thighs.




WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTT?????????!!!!!!!!!!

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

"kneel standing straight up."

the wtfs followed immediately after.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*this months annual woman of the year*

touch what i never
touched before.
see what i've never
seen before.
woke up and seen the sun...
......

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

~K

.:Southern Belle::Magnolia Smell:.

there is no kristy - only zool.

"make sure to go UP in it not straight in it. Thrust up not forward"

What in THEE fuck, I ask.

you guys are killing me

-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

or maybe i've been with you before

"no that's WRONG!"

-when i say "kneel sitting" it means butt is on your feet, basically, sitting on your feet. "kneel standing" is on your knees.


guy is supposed to be a little lower than the girl so he can go up in instead of just banging directly in your back.

immediately.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*this months annual woman of the year*

touch what i never
touched before.
see what i've never
seen before.
woke up and seen the sun...
......

and kiss my @$$. or is that a new position?

I'm gonna go 'sit standing straight up' now and do some more work.

and sitting standing up meand you're not slouched. a-ha!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*this months annual woman of the year*

touch what i never
touched before.
see what i've never
seen before.
woke up and seen the sun...
......

the irony was lost?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

MrThomas got me crying...literally!!!!

www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

i'll put the link on OKP

www.reunion.punchdouble.com

www.buildthedream.org
888-484-3373

'im the shit. i need toilet paper. and some air freshener. fuck a hater.'

you have no idea

pop in your videotape of Iverson's greatest moves, that gets you hard. going raw is a must, when you're done call your bol to come and get some whether she says it's okay or not.

from her ass crack.

slides into bed only to get instantly kicked out by partner. tries to climb in again, gets kicked out of bed.

runs to closet and changes shirt. slides in...kicked out.

puts on glasses. gets kicked out.

throws on different cologne.

kicked out.

Marmari: i played dumhi for my friends last week
Marmari: they were like "these are just your substance-abusing cohorts? or are they pros?"
Marmari: i'm like "they're professional substance abusing rappers"

http://www.myspace.com/shamelessplug

before getting down to the nitty, he initiates foreplay, helping him with his cover letter and resume, and complaining about his job. once the woman disrobes and approaches, jumps from the bed and jumps on the purple line train to damn near evanston to see "mindhunters" instead.

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

>before getting down to the nitty, he initiates foreplay,
>helping him with his cover letter and resume, and complaining
>about his job.

this made my stomach hurt...

mid coitus make up a rap about how dude is/isn't putting it down. make sure it sounds remedial.

lol

Set up a large, illuminated map of the United States on your living room floor a la the Queen Latifah "Ladies First" video. Meet one woman in each of the 50 states and make vigorous love all the while yelling "This one's for Brooklyn." Go back home and knock off corresponding state.

and adds her to back his myspace page.
while he's on the front of all of theirs


-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

_____________________________________________
the♥movement.nearness undividedness rapport integrity

06/03/06.

enters bedroom with an excited Michael Jackson
kissing, hugging, undressing ensues
Michael throbs from the sound of her puerile speech
he makes her post on OKP, reads post, THROB THROB
he fondles her
he gets pissed off when he figures out she's not a little BOY
she gets pissed off when she realizes he's not West Indian
writes a post about it
goes plat


"They are obviously the best team I've played against all season...You play against a team like that, and they put you through hell. You have to have a lot of respect for them... They're the team I'll be cheering for." -- Allen Iverson
******************

www.myspace.com/angoleiro

Have sex while wearing a long haired blonde wig and point ears with a bow and arrow strapped to your back..

Don't be surprised to be called "Legolas"
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

After some sexing, ask him/her how it was and hear "it could have used more cowbell"
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

after hours of hot talkshit and flirting, he gets a woman his home and they prepare for hot rabbit action. he realizes the woman has on a padded bra and is dissappointed that she didn't fulfill the mandate. he txt messages j-sun to delete her from his couch.

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

takes woman home
positions her doggy style
puts laptop on her back
plays Yao Ming navigation device over and over on computer
only humps when Yao says "NO"


"They are obviously the best team I've played against all season...You play against a team like that, and they put you through hell. You have to have a lot of respect for them... They're the team I'll be cheering for." -- Allen Iverson
******************

www.myspace.com/angoleiro

while simulnateously kicking ass in monopoly
and checking on his gambling bets.

kicks woman out the bed if he comes close to losing monopoly
yao ming does not shout, and he's losing his bets.

-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

Make love at 90 BPMs while s/he recite his favorite Stevie Wonder songs in year then track listing number.


---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

Make love while watching a video of you two making love while watching a video of you two making love while watching a video of you two making...
---
http://melanism.com

"i'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later"
Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

R U My Friend:
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/1445095

1. Oil up your chest and (bird)legs and show up in the bedroom with a wrestling belt and a laptop.
2. Tackle the woman and pin her to the bed while running thru a Powerpoint presentaion of pictures of you taken on ya Sidekick.
3. Forcefully insert your dick in her mouth while screaming "THAT'S GULLY!!!" at the top of your lungs for 10 minutes straight...
4. Beat the pussy up from the back to the tune of "I Don't Go To The Club"
5. Have woman sign onto Okayplayer and inbox 5 of her friends regarding how great the dick is.
6. Send woman home on the bus with a OMNi thong and a BetaMax copy of Wrestlemania III

-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

Use incoherent nonsensical jibberish to lure her to the rest...proceed to twist and turn into multiple positions making note how each reminds yourself of a particular aspect of a video game.

kicks his reunion roommate out of the room to show some broad the many colours of the rainbow. complains months later about not getting any ass and inboxes said RE roommate "where the white hoes at?"

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

Spend day shopping at H&M and Urban Outfitters, meet fine bitty at her spot, get her hot with gibber jabber, proceed to disrobe each other, she comments how the outfit is hot...when she asks if he got it at the Gap he puts his clothes back on while saying that comment was like saying a PS2 looked like a Coleco Vision.

MAN THAT'S FUCKED UP, MA!!!

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

writes a lovely sonnet enticing the woman into bed
slowly puls her clothes off
only the bottom garments mind you

quick flips her over, checks out bootay
pulls out measuring tape
if ass to waist ratio isn't on she's out

if ass ratio is on point

proceeds to have an ass fabulous time in ass many ass positions ever invented all the while crippling self in process because the ass was just too much.


-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

ha

"They are obviously the best team I've played against all season...You play against a team like that, and they put you through hell. You have to have a lot of respect for them... They're the team I'll be cheering for." -- Allen Iverson
******************

www.myspace.com/angoleiro

1. deliberately make an ironic post
2. see if anyone gets it
3. make it even more convoluuted
4. see if they get it
5. give up

6. Admit this reply is bullshit.

cause this shit is hilarious.

or better yet...

fuck you post i make fun of. i'm standing up on my ass typing for you truth.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*this months annual woman of the year*

touch what i never
touched before.
see what i've never
seen before.
woke up and seen the sun...
......

n/m

mid coitus, fart or do something equally out of place. when called on it, leave the room, come back and tell them its irony and that theyre stupid

http://www.organdonor.gov/

A sista is literally dying

Woman convinces him to have sex but he only consents to doing so while watching F.C Barelona.

3 hours later
She's riding, he's watching the game.
FC Barcelona wins, he jumps up knocks poor girl onto the floor

he runs around the room shouting:
Bisca Barça !!!!!!!!!!
-------
The L is for Lady.

‘It'll be fine in the end.
If it's not fine it's not the end.’

you live the life you love
you love the life you live ~half pint

after putting it down on several assorted beers and alcoholic beverages, pulls a guy into a corner and proceeds to make out with him. slimjm comes out of nowhere, calls her a "dirty whore" and "hopes she gets jumped".

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
avi titled: nohomo.
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

Just put nutmeg on it..... oh and bring knives/swords


****************************
I don't even love life no more, my niggas I just live it.... Jean Grae

Lurk inside her doorstep for 24 hours straight and STILL miss the opportunity for ass. Disappointed, you go home and babysit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

you giving up the secret ingredient....now I'ma hafta cutchu

calm down ol fif ward of flying daggers azz woman....

jus the name itself lets you know its gon be good.. heh.

involves a PSII controller, stewart scott in the background, several blunts and a buffalo skin.. a form of missionary where he gets to relax an get milked while screaming war cry's.. (could be cuz of the extacy or the sensation of the hot sauce)

heehee..

Breathe E.Z.

~Vee~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Drive Stick.. an I'm Focused, Man...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.

ain nuttin like fuckin to scott..

sept maybe the crooning of barkley.. (he grew on me)

LOL
Breathe E.Z.

~Vee~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Drive Stick.. an I'm Focused, Man...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no I'm not.

could be several other Houston okps as well lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<-----Meet Payton...she'll be mine once I figure out how to "off" her mother. j/k
RIP ODB ;(
www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2133755326

.

he pees in your ass. duh.

--------------------
"the big 3" 5.17.05
http://baddudesgetburgers.blogspot.com/
"capcom didn't invent wolves." -ZoltonK

fuck that fly shit.
first to break out the black card.
and look to buy shit.

Where 10 dudes are talking shit to each other, arguing about Steve Nash, then realize they all share common interests, and make out with each other, all while DMX's Ruff Ryder's Anthem is playing in the background. Afterwards, they all say "no homo" and hi-five the hell outta each other.

www.loudminoritymusic.com
tanya morgan - moonlighting coming summer 2005
Hey Jude ob la di ob la da, let it be.
++holler if you ever been placed in handcuffs++

a winner!

doesn't matter what u do as long as you and your partner have wild and untamed pubic hair


today in black history we celebrate: I never did represent doing dumb shit © chuck d
http://www.icetekwatch.com/people/Ying_Yang_Twins/Ying_Yang_2.jpg

hahaha

*YOU MUST BE WHITE TO ADMINISTER THIS POSITION*

1. have sex with a black girl
2. pat yourself on the back
3. get enraged at Black Eyed Peas video post-coitus

Take your date to BrainChild's apartment. After ensuring everyone inside is drunk to the point of almost passing out, slip out the door of brainchild's apartment and take your date up the steps. Rip off each other's clothes and commence to serving up backshots until BrainChild comes up the steps at which your date screams "don't come up here!!!"

. . .

--me--
http://www.myspace.com/onesoulfulnegro

_________________________

*TWINNING*

Near the end of a regular session, run out of the room disgusted because you don't like mayonaisse.

--me--
http://www.myspace.com/onesoulfulnegro

but i do like mayonnaise

delete this reply.

--me--
http://www.myspace.com/onesoulfulnegro

~K

.:Southern Belle::Magnolia Smell:.

there is no kristy - only zool.

--gets with someone else's girlfriend.

--falls for her.

--can't be with her.

--writes emo-type-hip-hop album about it.

edit: this could be the dawgeatah as well.


Marmari: i played dumhi for my friends last week
Marmari: they were like "these are just your substance-abusing cohorts? or are they pros?"
Marmari: i'm like "they're professional substance abusing rappers"

http://www.myspace.com/shamelessplug

bangs girl out. claims she's the hottest he's had in 2005.

meets new girl following week. decides she's the best fuck of '05.

meets nasty, bucktooth fat bitch a month later. is adamant that she's hottest of '05.

continues for rest of year...

hey i been tryin to stop the hype so much this year.

been too busy hypin up my own shit...lol.

suriously tho...the new system of a down album is the first thing i've been jumping through hoops about down in the lesson all year so far.


Marmari: i played dumhi for my friends last week
Marmari: they were like "these are just your substance-abusing cohorts? or are they pros?"
Marmari: i'm like "they're professional substance abusing rappers"

http://www.myspace.com/shamelessplug

walks into a room full of men
gets sweated by all the negros
ignores them and gravitates to the lone white bol in room
dry humps him for 267.5 hours
has sex for 2 mins
is perplexed about lack of orgasm



(love u gurl!)


"They are obviously the best team I've played against all season...You play against a team like that, and they put you through hell. You have to have a lot of respect for them... They're the team I'll be cheering for." -- Allen Iverson
******************

www.myspace.com/angoleiro

har

there's like a million and one permutations on this joint.

i love it!

there's like a million and one permutations on this joint.

i love it!

they're so witty,
;)
*breeze*

______________________________

strenuous lovemaking even,

fuck a dude, and make a post about fuckin a girl

--me--
http://www.myspace.com/onesoulfulnegro

and got to the post extremely late

ya'll are crazaaayyyyyyyy!


<<Foxy not-so Brown<<<<..My Legs!!!
****************************** http://www.msnusers.com/lilken/shoebox.msnw

"i've been a miner for a heart of gold"
Neil Young.

Grow
"Imagine this..."

Order Sixty Six: http://darthno.ytmnd.com/

"And sorry if I seem a lil bold, I'm too damn old to be playing these games with ya..."

hype up a great night of sex, one of the best performances ever, then get arrested before any of it takes place

make sure presidente beer is present, repeadtly keep screamin "SON!!!!" while hitting it, of course 3030 radio is in the background, when your done, tell her shes a thread in the fabric of hate and post streaming video of sex on okp.

..before someone manages to fuck it up...

__________________________
www.okayplayer.com/guidelines

..and miles to go before i sleep... (c) frost