more nuggets of divine wisdom from the book of Romey-Rome...

this passage of scripture deals with Jesus' 21st birthday, and, as with most of the events related in the Books of Jerome, takes place in a club.

Jerome I, Chapter 5, verses 1-20.



1. In those days, the Lord did frequent the clubs, and it was all good.

2. He went to the Aqueduct, and the After Midnight, and would even travel to Medea to catch Frankie Knuckles at the Paradise Garage.

The Two Women

3. On one night, the Lord went to the club without his disciples. He wore not his gray hoodie with Jeez airbrushed upon it, nor his namebuckle belt or his 4 finger ring that said: "SonOfGod". Verily, was he on the d.l.

4. On this night, he chanced upon two honeys in the aqueduct. The first was loud, light skinneded, mad thick, and with her hair blonded. The Lord asked her to dance and she looked at him as if he were the devil himself.

5. With up and down glance, she scanned his robes, and saw no label to her liking. "Scrub", saith she, gesturing that the Son Of Man talk to the hand.

6. Jesus, face broke, mumbled "be like dat then...chickenhead" before slipping back into the crowd.

7. On his way to the bar, the Lord encountered another woman, fine, brown, with brilliant smile and eyes that shone like stars piercing the veil of the heavens.

8. He asked her to dance, and she said yet. After they had danced muchly, they returned to her table. The Lord told her that he would like to buy her a drink, but had forsaken his wallet.

9. The woman did then offer to him a drink, and quenched his thirst with a Molson draft. Jesus thanked her, and bade her farewell, as he had things to attend to.

10. And it came to pass that upon the next night, Jesus again came to the Aqueduct, but this time, with a posse of apostles. As they entered the spot, the doorman, whom Jesus had healed of Leprosy, gave God a pound, letting him and his crew up in the spot.

11. In the club, the crowd parted like the Red Sea, as JC and his peeps bounced through in unison, feeling the beat.

12. Upon seeing the clamor, a woman came to the front and spied the Lord. Recognizing him as the man she had dissed the previous night, she sidled up to him, hips swaying, full of smiles.

13. As she approached, the men all paused, admiring her frame, and noting the scantiest of garments which barely concealed her charms.

14. Christ looked upon the woman and saw not that phat body, nor the come hither smile, nor the "its yours" expression. "Please. Get thee from my sight, chicken", he said, and strolled to the bar.

15. And there sat the other woman from the previous night. Still smiling, draped in clinging red robes.

16. The Lord brushed the hair from her shoulder and said to her, "why dost thou nurse that daquiri?".

17. Before she could reply, he continued, "For thy rolleth with me, and do I not provide ALL things in abundance?"

18. And with that, he raised his hand, causing all goblets within the spot to be filled to the rim with white zin. The party people shouted his name, praising him thus:

19. "Go Jesus, Its your birthday, Go Jesus, Its your birthday"

20. He spoke not, but smiled, and looked into the eyes of Cheryl.




peace & blessings,

x.