race is a socially inherited label based on what all your ancestors were. You don't get to choose that - it's your familial history. If most of your ancestors were from Europe and were white, then you're white, even if you don't like it.

But you don't inherit your gender/sex (whichever one is what you feel, rather than your body parts - I forget) as a family trait. That's what you feel inside and that begins and ends with you.

That's the best counter-argument I've seen.