>But at the end of the day - if the principle is to tolerate
>and accept a person's right to self-identify, how is it ever
>an acceptable course of action to say "no, that's
>impermissible, we will decide for you who you are" ?

Answer: it's acceptable when we have reason to believe that they are lying.

So tolerating and accepting a person's right to self-identity does not have to be a hard and fast principle. There can be room for us to acknowledge when an individual attempts to manipulate the framework. Might that lead us into sometimes denying an identity to someone who genuinely deserves it? Perhaps. But there's no policy we can follow that isn't gonna be messy.

I'm not prepared to let everybody define themselves however they want. If Chet Haze insists that I refer to him as a black man....I'm not going to. I know this is a no-no in identity politics discourse but I don't care. I feel fine in not having to adhere to a strict principle of tolerance and respect. People lie sometimes.