99% sure I know who it was, or at least I know the car belonging to the party responsible. Trying to decide how to fuck up their car in retaliation. Someone help me come up with a fool proof plan. It's happening one way or the other (long story) so miss me with the "two wrongs don't make a right" type of shit, please.

eggs or sugar in the car tank...

or cut the brake line...

>or cut the brake line...
>
>
>
>

but they make it sound so easy on tv

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

I really loved my old licence plate letter/number combo too. new one is wack

The long con.

Anyway - for everyone above, the story isn't all that long nor that interesting. I just didn't feel like typing it right that second because I was fuming mad. I was literally shaking.

Anyway I bought a condo back in September. Twice before today I parked in one of two spots down my street (parking on my street is open for everyone, in a legal sense) and my car was spit on. I hadn't really picked up on the fact that my car was in that same general area both times until I parked there again last nite, and woke up to the keying. So in essence this asshole thinks that he owns this particular spot on the street.

Anyway I'll definitely be egging his car. Probably more than once. Maybe I'll just do it throughout the winter.

If so, what's with people with Boston and their parking spaces cause its not the first time I heard someone tripping like that.

I've always been a defender of the "spot savers" tradition in certain Boston neighborhoods because shoveling snow sucks all of the dicks and so I do believe you should have a right to the spot you worked hard to shovel out.

But this type of shit? There's no excuse. And there's no move more cowardly than fucking with a man's vehicle (paraphrasing Vincent in Pulp Fiction) but this cunt will feel my wrath.

I thought about slashing tires but that's too obvious. How do I just barely puncture a tire?

If you couldn't tell I'm new to this.

You have to decide how compassionate you are though...
Between the treads = semi compassionate
On the tread = very compassionate
On the interior sidewall = cold.blooded.

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

Interior sidewall it is. Fuck that guy.

full disclosure....I don't know this because I've done it...i'm just recalling the many culprits of a slow leak I've encountered with my own tires over the years....




"Get ready..for your blessing..."

Valve core tool: http://www.autozone.com/tire-repair-and-tire-wheel/tire-valve-stem-core-remover-tool/slime-valve-core-tool/343873_0_0/?checkfit=true

Take the core out, put the cap back on. Get two tires so they can't use a spare. They air will still flow into the tire, but will flow right back out. It'll probably take the dolt some time to figure out exactly what is wrong.

Don't slash... that looks like vandalism and cops might get involved.

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

Thank you.

Have to ask because there's the risk of the dude/the chick that owns the car witnessing this going down, or just as worse neighbors could see this going down as well.

Is that process something that is fairly quick?

Need something fairly quick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNrWHXfUIrI

Maybe 30 secs to a min max when you add in taking the cap off, removing the core and putting the cap back on. It would definitely look suspicious if someone saw you tho.

I found out about this when I learned to change tires. Getting as much air out as possible helps when getting them on and off.

Will most likely do this in the middle of the nite. Like set an alarm at 3am type of shit.

so not worth it.

and with the weight of the car on tires...that air is coming out QUICKLY. Only issue is it may be a little loud.

what's going to stop this person from retaliating back to you? Just asking in case this person goes the extra mile and does something worse than key your car next go around. Is your car in a protected lot of some sort?

I was so fuming mad standing outside this morning I almost just keyed the shit out of his car right away but I talked myself out of it because obviously he'd know exactly who it was.

But something tells me I'm not the only one who has or will be a victim of his pussy bullshit so if I wait a few weeks and do it I am hoping he's got so many people to pick from that I'd be safe. But I guess we'll see.

And also this is why I'll likely end up doing something like a slow leak in his tires or something that way I fuck him over without it being obvious that someone manually did it.

Bang on the door, tell them you ain't got time for passive-aggressive (pussy) shit, and if they got a problem then y'all can handle that shit right then and there.


Yes, I've done this several times, including to some dude that didn't really do shit, but I just ain't like him. I felt bad threatening homey at first, but a few months later he stabs up his girlfriend and goes on the run from the law. If I ain't say shit that could have been my peoples fucked up (my GF at the time and her young kids lived above him).

And I thought of doing that too but I'm not tough enough to challenge anyone to a fight. In fact I've never been in a fight in my life. Just isn't my style.

But I did consider just waiting til I see him get in his car then confronting him on some "c'mon, man" shit but I'm so mad I'd rather ruin his life for a few weeks. Fed up.

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

I am the POLAR opposite of confrontational, which is why stuff like this frustrates me so much. I'm like, I think I'm a pretty good person, why such bad karma? My car gets fucked with like twice a year, on average.

when they had it coming. it's gotta be some real shit though, something like this would qualify imo.

but unless you're in a position to defend yourself or loved ones or children, it's not a good look to get into a physical fight as a grown adult. Way too much room for things to go wrong.

>In fact I've never been in a
>fight in my life.

That's..... so... strange to me.

Almost on some arbitrary "can't trust a guy who's never been in a fight" type shit.

Good on you though. That sounds like a happy existence.

It generally is a happy existence, yes.

I need to know which universe you're from. If you remember it as BernstEin, I wanna go live there. This is the BerenstAin universe and the E universe must be some dope ass, kind hearted utopia and I want in.

All joking aside, that's just ridiculous to me. It's unimaginable actually. I don't really know people like that. Everyone I know either has a triumphant victory or the wrong end of an ass whoopin to their credit. I've been hit with cinder blocks and full cans of Pepsi and stabbed in the arm. I've had my tooth chipped with rocks and been hit in the back of the head with a metal gas cap. I've even been shot in the back with a bebe gun. Not the coolest, manliest story but it happened. How the fuck does all this happen to me yet you've never even been in a plain old schoolyard fight? Hell I was heading into the bathroom to handle beef when I was in 4th grade.

I just don't get it.

Where do you live? What kinda bizarre world are you from? I want to move in.

But nothing more than jsut some pushing/shoving followed by wrestling/tackling to the ground. That happened a million times. But I've never punched a human in the face and never been punched in the face, and never fought anyone as an adult outside of some shoving and shit.

If you know how to do it (and th near will allow) disconnect their battery fuse.

They'll think it's a dead battery and go through the whole process of replacing it before they realize that ain't the problem. Probably fuck up their life for at least 1.5-2 days unless they're real car savvy.

It's a Dodge Charger, I believe.

Don't key cause they already did that, now you have to go above and beyond.

I'd do 3 out of 4 tires. If you do all 4 the insurance could cover them under someone screwing with their car. Do like 2 or 3 and you may be good. You need them to come out of their pockets. And if you do the tire do it right, cut the stem off. That way no patching or plugging will help they'll have to purchase new tires.

Sugar in the gas tank.

Holes in the muffler.

Destroy electrical equipment will work as well, just need to find a way to get under the hood.

If you gonna do it, do it right.

I will be considering all of these things.

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

Not just under the seat, but under the seat and up in the leather. So if you looked on the floor under the seat you ain't seeing nothing. Did that shit in the summer too, we was wildin out cause dude couldn't figure out where the smell was coming from.

it'll slowly partially cook and burn over time which makes the smell even worse.

why do i know these things?

with this devious ass stuff....lol....



"Get ready..for your blessing..."

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

Put some nails in a glass jar with some explosives, so when he opens the car door them shits go off like BLOAAW!

Run a 30 ft. long string of twine soaked with kerosene to his tailpipe; double that joint back to his cigarette lighter, and when he goes to light a square just watch that shit burn slow like 'tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss'

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

Come on fam

stop shaking your head and join the fun.

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

Because all 4 being fucked up is super obvious

the others are kinda obvious as well. I figure if you do 2 on the same side it looks like they fucked up by rolling up on a curb or something. Figure insurance company will get out of having to pay for shit.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_1VpL6peX4oU/TFMe5UR4bUI/AAAAAAAAB8k/wI7_2slmsqg/s1600/Picture+10.png

"Pedophile" or "Rapist" or something along those lines all on the sides and hood.

http://i4.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article5748652.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/PAY-Graffiti-on-Nurse-Alex-Hamsons-car.jpg


Edit: Don't spray paint the windshield or any windows. Force them drive around in that shit.

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr02/7/13/anigif_enhanced-buzz-20567-1381165885-2.gif

when I lived in Philly someone stole are parking spot in Old City... wife was real slow about backing in and someone swooped in front first...

to this day I'm still pissed because I wanted to put dog shit under their car door handles but my wife wouldn't let me.

Dude got his shit key'd though, so that'll cost a lot of money to get fixed right.

He got to get biblical with this shit.

I'd light the car on fire, then put a bag of dog poop in front of the car, but not on fire. The irony.

This post in combination with your name is killing me.

most of the other stuff is already covered
if you could get under the hood somehow you could wild out cutting wires and putting something in the oil/radiator parts etc
maybe just break the window like 3am and pop it

provided he doesn't have any exhaust leaks.

Like I said I just know the car, not the person by face.

That said I love this idea.

I was FUMING mad up until this post started to take off now I'm laughing my ass off.

Still bent off revenge but at least I'm not still ready to punch my wall.

that says "I found the brick you lost Fam"


"Get ready..for your blessing..."

doing numbers is the one about revenge based property destruction.

TIS THE SEASON!!

>doing numbers is the one about revenge based property
>destruction.
>
>TIS THE SEASON!!

Hahaha. Yea. I hate Christmas so already I was a ticking time bomb this just about set me off. I'm pretty excited to ruin this guy's world in a few weeks.

Kinda scary there are so many ways for a stranger to potentially screw with your car though.

but still do the eggs.

or saran wrap that joint.

Lots of good ideas in here. Fucking with someone's tires is the most aggressive, there's a small chance they could fuck around and die if their tires blow out on the highway in bad weather, lol.

I'd be more concerned about possibly getting caught than the guy's life. Crazy, I know.

I have no intentions of doing anything that could potentially kill him, to be sure. I just wanted to give an indication of how pissed I am. His life means nothing to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLj1fHfWjUc

turn into the university around here.

i would go big or go home, because security cameras could get pulled and you could go to jail for some little dumb shit like keying or tire slashing. that happened to some executive here and he looked like a petty fool.

may as well go the spray paint route and go out in a blaze of glory and get some good local or national news coverage and get fired from your job if you're going to get caught.

i mean if there are no security cameras you win. just put one up somewhere in or around your car after that, because they're all of 25 bucks at this point on amazon and you can bust them.

i implore you to do this right.

send this mofo to jail or go out in a blaze of glory yourself.

and come back and tell us about it.

was a bit much and I don't advocate for the poster to go to jail, but the camera for the car is pretty good advice. If and when this guy/this woman possibly messes with the poster's car, the footage from the camera can be used.

And even if the poster doesn't get caught screwing with the person's car, he could get involved with someone with a screw loose potentially going overboard screwing around with his car in retaliation.

I don't have a car, so it's easy for me to be this impartial, but getting too heavily involved in drama with complete strangers isn't something I am normally too keen with.

You don't know him by face and you claim to only know his car.

And then you don't care if he dies.

Seems a bit extreme on both ends for you guys to not know each other.

.

fucking teenage bastards

Have her wear something Red Sox related and you have on a Yankees cap, film it.

Get them to deliver it to him via UPS the day before Christmas. Also have her yell in passion in that god forsaken Boston accent. OH MY GAWWD GIMMIE YOUR CAWWWK.

Then at the end look at the camera and say "This has been a key'd car production".

Pro Tip: You may have to kill him after this, so be prepared.

It was his girlfriend though and that shit backfired when she thought we were going to have a secret relationship.

Would not advise.

She gave you some on the low, then got mad when you didn't want to continue, so she tells the dude she cheated on?!

Kinda backwards on her part.

and THEN tried to talk me into some DL shit

She said she felt like he was going to find out so her big plan was to rat us both out, say she made a mistake, and be a bitch to me whenever he was around but we'd secretly be together. I was cool with fucking but she wanted a relationship on the low and that wasn't happening.

Frankly she had a great ass but that was it. I didn’t like anything at all about her. Not her face, her personality, nothing.
Plus, I mean, dude was drunk and passed out the night I picked her up. No way in hell he was finding out. She was a fucking moron.

on the visit where we had this conversation. I had to threaten to call her probation officer to get her the fuck out.

Well done.

Let that mix marinate in the sun like tea for about a week.

Poor it into the grill below their windshield.

Quietly ish them luck getting that smell out.... ever.
Then wish them luck trying to sell it.

Problem solved.

I'm doing it.

My DNA isn't on record anywhere.

or even think to

You sound like ol girl from Jersey I knew, her rims got stolen and she was out there dusting for prints and shit. Cops looked at her like BYE, FELICIA when she presented her "evidence."

cause if she stumbles across that jar and opens it up....

She will know about it. And even if not I wouldn't put it in a place where she would find it.

incredible

one of little shit neighbor's little shit friends keyed my car a few years ago. i kinda got him back, whenever he showed up on a bike or a skateboard, i let the neighborhood knuckleheads know and they stole it. he lost two skateboards and a 10-speed inside of like six months.

he'll be shook for life...

jk.


kinda.

.

Because if you do, the chance is high that you will be caught on tape etc

then you will be looking like the criminal, busted, with a vandalism conviction, all the while the real criminal is livin life

let karma take care of it instead of getting yourself caught up

.
.
.

>

I can be vengeful though. This is why I came to you guys. Need some slick ways to ruin this guy's 2016.

So I check the profile and saw that you were a dude and wanted to let you know that this is not how men handle such a thing.
.
.
.

So obviously this dude is female.

how did that irony not strike him lol

messing up someone's car on some lace and pearls get back.
.
.
.

what he shoulda done is reported this shit right away maybe but now that that train has left the station, he can't let this shit ride either.

Because that's what gonna happen if he does something to the other person's car. He can get his whip fixed and give the bill to the offender, if he has not settled with the insurance company. But if he goes and confronts the person face-to-face there doesn't have to be any violence. And if there is, he can do once of a few things such as; Take another L, Capture the W, or Call the Cops


.
.
.

Because I didn't see him or record him doing it. All speculation no matter how much circumstantial evidence I have. But it's on record that I'm suspicious of that dude so if anything else happens it's all at the station.

But I still plan to fuck with his shit, of course.

.
.
.

...and parked in his desired parking spot. End of relationship.

And if you really don't know, what's the harm in going to this man and asking if he know about the matter with your car?
.
.
.

is going to key your car

and then cop to it just bc you confronted him about it?

lying happens...especially when people do fucked up shit that they don't want you to know it's them...

what type of fantasy land u live in that a person admits to that?

keying a car isn't like a dink in the lot that nobody cops to...that's up in the air but a car keying is deliberate and with a motive that is mad easy to figure out

What do you call retaliation of the same kind? Yet you are encouraging this man to do the same. SMH
.
.
.

And the type of pussy coward to key a car over a damn parking spot....

He's DEFINITELY not man enough to cop to it.

smh

All you have to do is park there and put a camera or two in your car.

Once they're caught, you can get them arrested (possibly jailed if they're on probation and I bet they are) and you can sue them.

You can actually sue them now.

Make them take off work up or lose by default.

I sued someone who I suspected scratched and dented my car and came up a few thousand dollars.

.
.
.

......
































































But... if someone were to retailiate by "finding" some drugs, discovering the exact model of vehicle, replicating a key, planting said evidence then calling the cops to report a drugs in their neighborhood then I would feel very sad.

>then I would feel very sad.

if you know who did it, wont they know you did it?

>if you know who did it, wont they know you did it?

Maybe, but based on my experience in the three times I've parked there I imagine I'm not the only one to catch this pussy's wrath. So if I wait long enough I imagine he'd be like a pregnant whore. Maybe he's crazy enough to key us all again. Who knows.

if you REALLY want retaliation....a Snickers in that gas tank is going to slowly dissolve and then its going to hit that engine and cause it to lock up. $2500 to $3000 worth of instant retribution.

D

Pretty good chance I can't open his gas tank tho.

been seeing it on TV my whole life, never seen it happen IRL

.

A puddle of that stuff under a tire could be problematic for proper function. Go chemistry.

#30 is short term, #128 is long

perfect

I think this would be best served with a lot of minor shit that will make this dude feel like he's losing his mind or that God himself hates him, because why else would so much go so wrong all at once?

I searched the terms "police", "press" and "charges" yet nothing

irl the only responses are to throw hands or press charges

but will talk about it like a champ


>irl the only responses are to throw hands or press charges

It's just some shit to say but it doesn't really meany anything

You really have zero clue what anyone's fight record looks like

If anything some of us actually have shit to lose now and actually think about consequences and make wiser choices, but to simply assume that nobody here is the "type" or lacks a track record? Yeah you don't know that.

I'd bet money I swung and swung first on more people before age sixteen than everyone who says "y'all aren't the type to scrap anyways" on this site has in their entire lives.... combined. mostly against gang bangers, grown ass men, and random punks. I won some, I lost some, got jumped a lot, and then some. I could be wrong but my numbers make that relatively a safe bet. My scraps were still pretty frequent until my mid twenties.

I'm not saying that to impress people (who wouldn't be impressed anyways, let's be real) or score cool/tough guy points or anything like that, but to point out how ridiculous an assumption it is that nobody here is the "type".

I doubt anyone took this all that serious and my bet is that just going over some of these ridiculous ideas is enough to get some of his desire for vengeance out of his system and he'll wind up taking a more sensible, responsible action in the end.

If there's anything playery about this it's you running in like some old ass curmudgeon shaking his fist and ranting at us kids with our long hair and wild, lewd and sinful rock music.

Meanwhile we're chillin, eating pizza, playing cards and listening to OutKast and playing what amounts to a game of Torture: Revenge Addition.

In other words: Lighten up.

He shouldve searched for "cops" in here instead of police

This post is hilarious though... some real creativity in these replies lol

sorry if I dont find anything fun and lighthearted about fucking people's cars up on the grounds of suspicion

Edit: I just realized I didn't exactly specify here when I determined for certain who the culprit is/was. I was right about it being the owner of this specific car that I had my eye on from day one. The only question was who exactly drove the car, which I've since confirmed. So now, update:

First, update on my specific situation with this asshole: I haven't exacted my revenge yet, thinking it better to go with the long con so that he has no idea it's me. Also of issue is that this piece of shit works strange hours (sometimes he leaves for work at 3am, sometimes midday, sometimes early evening, etc.) and his house lights are always on so it's difficult to know when he won't be staring at his parking spot/car to see me do the damage. So I've spent the better part of the last several months feeling the situation out rather than being reactionary. I think ultimately I'll end up keying or spray painting his car when the wife and I rent out the condo which shouldn't be too far in the future, but we'll see.


But anyway: since my car was keyed in December, I've noticed that every car that is parked in that spot (literally every single one) is either spit on or keyed. The keyings are saved for repeat offenders. Typically a huge spit wad on the driver's side door is his go-to vandalism for 1st, 2nd and 3rd time parkers.

So, over the last few weeks, after a month or so of more or less having forgotten about this worthless loser, I began noticing a particularly large volume of cars parking in his spot and subsequently being vandalized, and I began devising revenge tactics all over again. In the middle of last week, I discussed with a friend of mine an idea I had about buying a $500 beater car, parking in that spot, and straight up never moving it. The benefit of course is that he could vandalize the car all he wanted and I wouldn't care, but more importantly his blood pressure and stress levels would increase to the point that he would have a heart attack and maybe die. It would bring me so much pleasure knowing that every single day he was closer and closer to having his anger boil over to the point that it would adversely affect his health.

Then, this past weekend, a gift from the gods. Friday afternoon, I noticed a Ford crossover SUV parked in his spot. Sure enough, spit was on the Ford's window by 8pm that nite. The car remained there all day Saturday, all day Sunday. As of Sunday nite, the coward left a note on the Ford's windshield reading "THIS IS NOT A PARKING LOT" (ironic, I know). I laughed but was also pretty fired up about this fucking loser's entitlement issues.

But here's the thing: THE FORD IS STILL THERE. It's now Wednesday and as of 10:45am when I stopped back into my crib to meet an electrician, the car still hadn't moved, not one time. The coward has spent the week parking in 4 or 5 different places on the street, which I just know is driving him *INSANE*. Unfortunately I've yet to actually see how red his stupid face is but just knowing that he's closer to a heart attack makes me so so so so happy.

I have no idea who owns the car or how long they'll be there. But whoever it is I want to kiss them on the mouth.

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

Then when he does it again key it.


If its the same shit he's doing then he can't say anything.

Don't have a conscious about it, don't let these debbie do-nothings tell you to be the bigger man. This is war, and war never changes.

fuck. his. car. up.

and then update us

Forgot to mention that because I didn't think it was enough haha.

But a couple months ago I went about 3 or 4 days in a row just spitting on his driver's side window. Then one time I threw a mouth full of Skoal on his back windshield on my way back from walking my dog.

Little things in the big picture so I still want to do more. But it's *something*, for now.



>Then when he does it again key it.
>
>
>If its the same shit he's doing then he can't say anything.
>
>Don't have a conscious about it, don't let these debbie
>do-nothings tell you to be the bigger man. This is war, and
>war never changes.
>
>fuck. his. car. up.
>
>and then update us

I wouldn't pay $500 for a beater but I would find a tow truck who would move a piece of shit scrap metal car and put it in his spot.

Maybe even get a car that's been compacted at the junkyard

you would have to time it perfectly tho...

>I wouldn't pay $500 for a beater but I would find a tow truck
>who would move a piece of shit scrap metal car and put it in
>his spot.
>
>Maybe even get a car that's been compacted at the junkyard
>
>you would have to time it perfectly tho...

or tow it for him. If a car looks to be in running condition, no flat tires, etc, they can't move it if it's legally parked.

cause I don't think this is worth a $500 beater

Does he look like he can fight?

He's like 6 feet or around there, rocks a crew cut, doesn't look like he works out or anything but certainly has some girth to him. Probably late 40s/early 50s. Looks like a fucking loser like I would've expected. You know, down on his luck type, self-loathing, probably racist white dude in a mid-life crisis who has nothing to live for besides a parking spot. Works for the Boston T so you know he hates his existence. That also explains his strange hours.

>He's like 6 feet or around there, rocks a crew cut, doesn't
>look like he works out or anything but certainly has some
>girth to him. Probably late 40s/early 50s. Looks like a
>fucking loser like I would've expected. You know, down on his
>luck type, self-loathing, probably racist white dude in a
>mid-life crisis who has nothing to live for besides a parking
>spot. Works for the Boston T so you know he hates his
>existence. That also explains his strange hours.

Both of y'all get dirty, but the pig actually likes it. Dude probably looks for passive-aggressive ways to start "conflicts" all of the time.

>Both of y'all get dirty, but the pig actually likes it. Dude
>probably looks for passive-aggressive ways to start
>"conflicts" all of the time.

Ever since it happened all I've said is that even though I'd still think he's an asshole/loser, had he just written a note and left it on my windshield saying something like "this is MY spot" I'd have "respected" that (for lack of a better term, I definitely wouldn't respect him at all) and stopped parking there. I just moved to the neighborhood, not in the business of making enemies or starting confrontation in any situation, nevermind with my own neighbors.

So yea I think you nailed it. He probly gets off on this type of shit. I mean, obviously he does. Otherwise there were a million better ways to go about the situation. Fuck it, lie to me. Write a note whining about your total knee replacement or something. There's a million open spots on that street all the time I could always park somewhere else. Which obviously further proves your point that he just likes being a cowardly passive/aggressive asshole. Literally the nite he keyed my car you know where he parked ? DIRECTLY behind me. Like he suffered 3 extra feet of walking due to my parking in the spot he likes.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

This is an amazing thought.

trying to find with wit in his reply but I can't see it.

maybe he just hates you

>trying to find with wit in his reply but I can't see it.
>
>maybe he just hates you

Yea maybe.

But nah the more I thought about it the more I thought maybe he just meant "use this as an excuse to go get a new car".

Which is fine but - I just bought this car last year, and it's an Infiniti. So, (a) I don't really want a new car yet, I just got this one, and (b) this is a "nicer car"

So.

he hates you

Show up with an even nicer car like "I got plenty".

Get a kickstarter going maybe you'll get enough donations?

>Show up with an even nicer car like "I got plenty".
>
>Get a kickstarter going maybe you'll get enough donations?

Not a bad idea. I've been looking at newer models of my car so we'll see I guess.

and some jackass took all that away from you. Get a white dude to tell the story and I'd almost bet you could pull in enough money.

he'll probably be able to get two new cars and maybe a girlfriend/mistress if he plays his cards right.

>he'll probably be able to get two new cars and maybe a
>girlfriend/mistress if he plays his cards right.

and I'm pretty sure the best revenge is keying a car or it wouldn't be done so much by scorned women.


it would be more cost effective to get your car wrapped in vinyl. Brand new car without the brand new payment

.

Brrew haas more hoes. Got it.

Guess that explains the car getting keyed in the first place.

I missed it.

then realized we never met.

My bad legs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjKRQ_OqCCw

that was a good one.

"ionno who has more but I know Brews wife got guns and her sister is fine..."


the delivery was much smoother but it wasnt that good of a joke.

>"ionno who has more but I know Brews wife got guns and her
>sister is fine..."
>
>
>the delivery was much smoother but it wasnt that good of a
>joke.

Takes a lot more than that to offend me and on its face that's a pretty good line.

Atillah on my tracks and shit

get 4 valve caps

take a cigarette filter, cut into 4 sections

place each filter section into each valve cap.. push inside

take a small rock or cut a yellow pea in half... put one of these in each valve cap, push into filter..

replace asshole's valve caps with your doctored valve caps

Confront dude.

Download my new mixtape featuring Lecrae, Andy Mineo, Christon Gray and more. Positive Hip Hop: http://www.noisetrade.com/wadeoradio

and it ain't like dude confronted him

>and it ain't like dude confronted him

The only thing I'm concerned about is further damage to my car or my own well being. His car/well being/comfort can get fucked.

Can't think of anything more cowardly, in fact.

>Confront dude.

I have considered doing that on a number of occasions. But somehow I haven't actually crossed paths with the guy in passing, which is how I'd prefer to go about it rather than knocking on his door or some other more invasive measure.

>Confront dude.
>

And the guy either says it wasn't me or I don't care you can't prove anything. Then what?

with some confidence and tact.

.
.
.

he's doing it to everybody, right? y'all got no excuse for letting this continue. y'all have the numbers, put a stop to this sh*t asap.

.
.
.

it's just that we ain't connected yet. It's coming to a head though I think. I just talked to the dude who owns the place above me today, he hasn't had the vandalism experience yet but he's taken note of all the cars parked there being fucked with. So I'm thinking/hoping it's coming to a head.

Also - that Ford is still there. No further vandalism but I know this dude is dying on the insides. That is super satisfying.

Tell that fool that y'all are coming for him and his car. Let him know that y'all have been watching him and that he's going to get his soon.

Make sure you use gloves and old Magazines to send him that note. LOL


.
.
.

you can either have the mob smash up his car, go to his front door, or whatever. We don't have enough actual angry mobs in this country. That's how you get shit done.

If someone told me who keyed my car, I'd be down for the joint confrontation, plus then if old dudes starts with the retaliation, he's going to know that everyone on the street knows its him,and he might not be so bold.

since you're not super confrontational, you might even find someone else who's willing to lead the show.

And I got some rough looking dudes who live on the street perpendicular to us so I was hoping one of them was a victim. But the problem is I haven't run into any of them noticing their car keyed, either so it's been tough for me to get a crew together. I'd leave a note on their car but this dude's so bold he'd probly just take it off.

>you can either have the mob smash up his car, go to his front
>door, or whatever. We don't have enough actual angry mobs in
>this country. That's how you get shit done.
>
>If someone told me who keyed my car, I'd be down for the joint
>confrontation, plus then if old dudes starts with the
>retaliation, he's going to know that everyone on the street
>knows its him,and he might not be so bold.
>
>since you're not super confrontational, you might even find
>someone else who's willing to lead the show.

You (theoretically) wanna be able to trust whoever's rolling with you is not going to take things farther than you really wanna go.

The more people involved, the likelier you're going have that one "Bishop"-ass mfer

do it over a few weeks to get him a few times then bring it to the police. Cause it sounds like you arent gonna do much else, so far your "revenge"has been really lame LOL either confront dude or get it to stop by having cops involved. have everyone in the area who have bee violated get involved.

Or take a shit on his winshield....eat some indian food and take a laxative and have a nice time on the car.

But after some time marinating on it I decided the hassle of having to get my car fixed a bunch of times isn't really worth it.

Re: the rest of your points, yea, my "revenge" has been lame but you also gotta remember, you know, I gotta fucking live here. The last thing I really want is to have this ongoing, daily back and forth with some asshole who I don't really know and don't know what he's capable of/willing to do...obviously I am of the belief that he's a gutless coward but you never really know til you test someone. Plus I got my wife in my ear all unreasonably fearful that he'll like harass us/destroy our house or some shit.

Main point being I'd rather take my time, exhibit some patience, and do something really satisfying to damage his car/his ego without there being any minor chance of him knowing it was me.

>do it over a few weeks to get him a few times then bring it
>to the police. Cause it sounds like you arent gonna do much
>else, so far your "revenge"has been really lame LOL either
>confront dude or get it to stop by having cops involved. have
>everyone in the area who have bee violated get involved.


>Or take a shit on his winshield....eat some indian food and
>take a laxative and have a nice time on the car.

I'm thinking at some point I'll probably toss a bunch of my dogg's shit on his car but again, one of the primary issues here is that this dude keeps really weird/inconsistent hours so I am never 100% certain when he's sleeping or isn't literally staring at me out his window.

Lot of moving parts here. But I'll get mine, trust me. I ain't forgetting.

This SUV being parked there the last 6 days is a really, really good, satisfying placeholder tho.

u already filed a police report the first time if i recall correctly

contact at least 1 other person that has also had theirs keyed or at least another witness who can say that it's been a pattern

u can even catch him in the act WITHOUT it being your car getting keyed

or u could also leave him a note on his car telling him you have footage of him keying people's cars and threaten to go to the police if he doesn't make things right

the camera is the best route to go bc it sounds like he's not stopping anytime soon

>or u could also leave him a note on his car telling him you
>have footage of him keying people's cars and threaten to go to
>the police if he doesn't make things right

No response.

it may be worth it to make real on that threat then or just bring an angry mob

The vandalism has been ongoing to present day.

>it may be worth it to make real on that threat then or just
>bring an angry mob

Yea for sure.

this ain't an episode of Charles in Charge where Scott Baio goes to the bully's house to get Adam's bike back. You can't just go to mufuckas' cribs in 2016. Folk keep arsenals at home. Fuck around and get blown off the atlas. Especially when Brew already has said he ain't that dude. Fam's best bet is to somehow catch him in the act and report it.

Thought this post made that pretty obvious. Haha.

.

>this ain't an episode of Charles in Charge where Scott Baio
>goes to the bully's house to get Adam's bike back. You can't
>just go to mufuckas' cribs in 2016. Folk keep arsenals at
>home. Fuck around and get blown off the atlas. Especially
>when Brew already has said he ain't that dude. Fam's best bet
>is to somehow catch him in the act and report it.


This reply is GOLDEN!
Im over here DYIN @ dis shit.

You aint NEVA lied tho....

on some "let's squab it out" shit. This was back in the late 90's. e said dude was like, "man come in and let's talk about it". Homey said he walked in the front room, it was just him and dude Before he knew it, cats was fallin out the ceiling like extra lives in a Konami game, whoopin his ass. Dude got beat out of his mind before he could get out, lol.

It's funny you bring this up cause I actually had a vision the other day of going to his door, and him inviting me in ... and I thought, FUCK NO I am not entering that creep's crib. If he's gonna try n fight me it's gonna be on the street in broad daylight for witnesses. For all I know this fuckshow has a torture chamber in his basement with multiple prisoners already.

Off the realest thing in life,...Im in Barnes&Nobles
CRYIN right now.

You a fool for dat!

explain your issue to a bouncer sized dude, give him $250 and let that be it

I'm still putting some thought into it. Just gotta find the right dude.

seriously injured, like put in a coma?
.
.
.

I'll stick with his car.

coming with that Debbie-downer a$$ logic..

'...someone's gonna get hurt...'

'..what if?...'

we in here tryna have fun and live vicariously thru yo drama. Does Case have a point? Yes. Are his points fun? Hell-a$$ naw.

>coming with that Debbie-downer a$$ logic..
>
>'...someone's gonna get hurt...'
>
>'..what if?...'
>
>we in here tryna have fun and live vicariously thru yo drama.
>Does Case have a point? Yes. Are his points fun? Hell-a$$
>naw.

I didnt say hire a hitman. I said get someone to rough him up and instill some fear

...should you choose to accept;

Codename: Clear And Present Windshield
AKA...

-Behold A Pale Whip-

Aight dig it,.....
You gonna have ta get your hands dirty ‘cus one thing is certain:

Dude -MUST- get got!

Ain’t nobody definitively checked’eem yet so he smellin’ his piss a lil bit right now, ya dig?...
Your dilemma is that you wanna avoid direct confrontation which means your only option at
this point is guerrilla warfare tactics.

*Opens Scroll on War Tactics*

Now, first off, you gonna need a squad for this mission ‘cus it wont be going down near your house and you wont be using your own whip for transpo. Only way to keep dude from connecting this shit to you will be to catch his ass slippin’ somewhere AWAY from your immediate environment which means:

1) Recon(at least 2 scouts to survey dudes movements and relay this intel to you in real-time)

2) A driver and unidentifiable whip that cant be associated to you

Basically, you need a 4-man unit,….it could be the Katz you grew up wit’, pullin’ classic neighborhood
pranks like toilet-papering ninjaz cribs up ‘n shit. Deez the kinda mofoz you gonna need.

-Tools & Gear-

-everyone in your squad will need smartphones & bluetooth headsets
-Hoodies/gloves/ski masks/flashlight(for alpha team only. Bravo team will be dipped in mellow earth-tone attire so as to seamlessly blend-in the social setting)
-stones/rocks/eggs/screwdriver/cup of doo-doo….basically whatever you plan
ta body dis ninja's car wit’…

-Execution-

Have your recon team(bravo) peep dis ninja's movements for a couple days to
get a feel for Duke’s routine, hangout spots, kwikie marts etc…..
After they get a feel for his regularity, yall ninjaz decide on a nite for da jump-off.

-Da Jump-off-

Bravo team, equipped wit’ bluetooth headsets, follow Duke to the previously-agreed-upon interception locale all-the-while feeding you real-time data. Soon as dat muthafukka exits his whip and enters the spot, bravo team enters behind him to keep watch(they will each have seperate whips by the way, coming and leaving seperately).
By this time, per their intel relay, you and your wingman/driver(collectively, Alpha team) will be in
route to the parking lot to commence an azz-whoopin on dis ninja’s whip.

But yo, dig dis shit here......
*You will -not- park in the lot tho, you'll have to breach the lot on foot
lest you run the risk of a security cam getting a make on your wingman's whip. Thus, alpha team will park a tactical-distance away from the lot*

Soon as Bravo team gives the signal, cold body dat shit den smooth vanish inna puff of ninja smoke once Bravo indicates that the *rabbit is leaving the *nest.
Bravo will then exit as he exits and go there seperate ways candidly.

Now, proximity-wise, given the geographical remoteness of this incident, Dickface wont be able to associate it to you all-the-while having to munch some serious humble pie. Yet the surgical efficiency of dis shit will rattle dat ninja's psychological cage 'cus
he will, in fact, know that he's been royally fucked-wit' and there-in will rest your reward, Troop.

Handle dat shit...

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a longtime. Yet naturally I'm taking it seriously and already considering who team Bravo will be.

Well done my man.

.

O_O





*_*





O_O

and cover the entire car with it.

Another one, cover the seams of the doors with cement even the door handles. Legit just fuck up his car.

I considered spray paint but the gun may be better for distance sake.

Got home from work/the gym today and this fuck got his spot back, the Ford SUV from heaven was gone. I was so fired up.

By the time I showered and went to walk my dogg fuckface's car was gone. An hour later ANOTHER SUV (a Jeep Wrangler) was parked in his spot and is still there. Ahahahaha. Bitch smelled sweet victory for like a grand total of 20 minutes now he's back to sweating. This is the best week since I bought my condo.

If you would be so kind.

n/m

Few minor pieces:

- my wife has convinced me that any personal revenge needs to wait until we've moved out of the neighborhood; she fears for her own safety which I guess is reasonable. So I've taken to giving the asshole the stank eye anytime I pass by in my car or on foot. He knows who I am.
- my wife was walking our dogg a couple weeks back, past his house, and he bent down to try and pet him. My wife pulled him away and said "c'mon Lenny". As passive as I've been since this happened, had he bent down to pet my dogg in my own presence I'd have had a lot more to say. I've gone over the conversation in my head a thousand times.
- speaking of the dogg, one thing I HAVE done is toss my dogg's shit on his windshield like 15 or 20 times. I haven't taken to smearing it yet but eventually I'll probly do that. I also will toss the shit on his lawn sometimes if his car isn't there.
- maybe about 6 months ago or so (maybe longer), a Jeep Wrangler was parked in the spot. In the morning I came out and this kid, probably about 21 or 22, was cleaning some shit off his driver's side window. I stopped to ask him about it and he said it looked like someone poured milk all over his window. I told him about the asshole and let him know where I'm at in case he wants to get some kind of joint revenge or has any ideas. Just as I'm starting to walk away, the dude starts to pull up from around the corner. I yell to the young kid "hey there's your boy" and point at the asshole's car. Kid went to confront him as he got out of the car: "you got a problem with me parking here, asshole?" mind you this kid isn't very big. I just saw the guy shake his head and scurry inside his house mumbling some bullshit. Kid told me he couldn't hear a word of it. So we've got a confirmed pussy on our hands.

- one silver lining is that in the time since my last report, he's had his rearview mirror destroyed and a huge dent on the wheel well of his rear driver's side. The mirror was of unknown etiology, the dent on the wheel well looked like someone side swiped him or some such, probably not related to his ownership of the parking spot.

So yea like I said - nothing substantial but he knows who I am, which is further reason to wait until we move to slash his tires or whatever I decide to do to his car. Eventually the wife and I will probably rent our condo out so when I do that, I will def be back to reference some of the great ideas laid out here and subsequently to report on how I ultimately decide to deal with the coward.

In the meantime I'll be sure to report back with anything else I see from this clown.

I like that you're keeping your powder dry.

I'm not a tough guy or anything but honestly my wife is the only thing that's been holding me back from taking some action, whether that be just straight up confronting him, or doing any number of the things listed in this post. She has no idea about the dogg shit on the windshield so that's been a nice way to curb my still-boiling anger until I'm able to exact real revenge once we leave the neighborhood.

i just chuckle at the thought of someone unknowingly grabbin the doodoo

>i just chuckle at the thought of someone unknowingly grabbin
>the doodoo

Come to think of it, skip the piss and add a mix of collard greens and broccoli.

...but it's in the back of my mind. Haha