but to answer that question:

1. he is however he identifies.

2. gay guys like having sex w/men and seek relationships w/men.

3. gay guys generally don't like having sex w/women and generally don't seek relationships w/women.

4. especially not in New York City.

5. especially when they work in the sex industry.

6. plenty str8 guys like having it in the bum.

7. they like having it in the bum by WOMEN.

8. gay guys don't like having it in the bum by women.

9. the industry makes sex toys for guys who like having it in the bum by women.

10. this guy doesn't sound gay at all.

...now for your real question as i read between the lines.

the guy is not going to leave you for a man b/c he likes it in the bum. the fact that he likes it in the bum doesn't mean he would rather have it in the bum by a real penis as opposed to a toy. b/c the guy doesn't like real penis. b/c he doesn't like men. b/c men are more than a penis.