b/c saying 'assault' gives you the sads.

and b/c you don't understand the actual definition of assault and so you think the conduct being described here isn't assault when it really is. but that's okay. we'll say 'tiddlies' for you.

btw - look at the first definition of assault as found in a legal dictionary i've cited for you below, pumpkin:

http://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/assault

Assault
Definition

>>1. Intentionally putting another person in reasonable apprehension of an imminent harmful or offensive contact. No intent to cause physical injury needs to exist, and no physical injury needs to result.<< So defined in tort law and the criminal statutes of some states.

2. With the intent to cause physical injury, making another person reasonably apprehend an imminent harmful or offensive contact. Essentially, an attempted battery. So defined in the criminal statutes of some states.

3. With the intent to cause physical injury, actually causing such injury to another person. Essentially, the same as a battery. So defined in the criminal statutes of some states, and so understood in popular usage.