>But I think you're the first in here to seem to say in an
>indirect way that while you may be in a place with guys you
>find attractive, you know the unsaid rules of the place and
>would adhere for sake of keeping peace or being a team guy or
>what have you


a few other dudes said this as well,
but i'm glad it came through.

as for this...



>while I see other points from folk implying that if they're
>around someone so much (even if they initially were attracted
>to them) they can turn that switch off pretty easily which
>makes some of us straight guys question whether there are more
>differences between gay and straight besides what you're
>attracted to because I'd bet most of us straight guys have
>never seen any guy be able to turn the switch off and on when
>it comes to attractions. I'm not talking about taking action
>on what you find attractive, just attraction in general.
>
>That's what seems confusing to us straight guys. I mean maybe
>it's not for us to understand. I can see that too. But talking
>with bro-in-law, he's just a regular guy who happens to be
>gay. He'll talk about guys like us straight guys talk about
>women. Sometimes it's a little too much for me and I have to
>say um, talk to your sister about that but that's just him
>being him. But on okp I get something seemingly different.
>That's why all the questions came up.




i think what you typed might be a little bit of posturing.
but to the extent that gay dudes are better at "flipping that switch,"
my guess would be that it comes from the unique position that gay males
are placed in during puberty.

***what follows may only be applicable to me, and not the other gays, but it's my theory***



that is, during the time when you are most horny,
you are surrounded by male friends, and you have feelings for them
that can never be reciprocated.

I think (but don't know) that this is different from what lesbians
experience, because girls are socialized to be more touchy/ feely anyway.
so really, the experience of having a straight crush that you fear can
litterally destroy every friendship you have is pretty painful...
and more uniquely lonely than the "typical" straight male experience.



as a result, gay dudes learn pretty quickly how to shut down
the experience of pining for a straight male. both because
it's an impossible pipe dream, and because it's psychologically self destructive.



that's why I think you have queers in this post with all of
thise "as if" responses you were talking about.
to be honest, heteros that feel uncomfy around gay men in the locker room
can fuck off.

not only did we accept hiw to fall n line with the male code years ago...
(hands and eyes to yourself)
not only did we learn from experiences that straight crushes are impossible,
(and have learned to instinctively stop them before they start)
but now some heterosexual want to exile us from existing in the places that they are?


stop it fam.
i promise, nobody is checking for you guys like that.*


*and that last line might be a bit of queer pride, a reaction to the fact that at one point,
we did pine that way, and it only led to saddness. so fuck it.