starting a family means understanding what family means to both you and your spouse.

we waited a long time to have a child
why? because we both knew we weren't ready
we've been together 11 years and it took 10 of those for us to feel comfortable with our family unit, defining what OUR marriage was before we dragged a little one into the mix.

children don't complete your lives
i love my child with every bit of my heart
he is a living example of our love
but i didn't have to have to child to have a family
my husband is my family and has been my family for 11 yrs now

we've learned so much about each other and we are still learning
our child doesn't define us
he certainly doesn't define me, just as my husband never defined me
i've always been an individual

one of the most irritating aspects of being a woman is people trying to define you through marriage and mothering. as if you are LESS of a person for not having those things. as though you NOT a defined and accomplished person because you are unmarried and childless.

i really resented all of that when i didn't have a child and i still resent it bc ppl come at me for only having one child.

ppl are fucked up with their ideas about marriage and the choice to have children.

are our lives suppose to be incomplete with no room for growth if we don't want or can't have a child?