There's all types of folks at the gym, but I have a few that make me laugh on the inside every time I see them... Okay, there's a couple Dominican cats that refuse to use a locker/ the locker room. There's no history of locker break ins or anything like that there either. What they do is walk around the gym for 2 hours with their duffle bags on their shoulders as they walk/ move from machine to machine. I subconsciously call them the "Duffle Bag Boys"....

I've actually seen a couple people trip over their bags in several cases where those folks were on a machine close to the machine the Duffle Bag Boys are working on. Like, they've gotten up from doing a set and move either left or right and "Bam"... trips right over a 2.5 foot long Nike duffle bag that's on the floor right next to the bench. Put that shit in a locker fam... permisso....?

I know y'all know a couple...




Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

?

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

Why is it that men find the need to walk around the locker room naked with no towel all the time. No man wants to see that shit and if they did.......

Women enjoy looking at other women's bodies but they still don't walk around naked all the time.

that at my gym. That's what originally turned me off from the gym... motherfuckers wanna talk to you about your form while butt ass naked. Nah, my gym has a "locker room" and "showers" not the combo jawn... Nobody at Richie's washes their asses after working out. Fuck that, go home with the dirty dick......


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

and most of them i do not enjoy looking at.

usually about 5-6 of them all posturing and chewing gum very hard.

Usually like mid 40's to early 50's cats

all single

of the 6 3 of them have s curls,2 are bald,one has locks

smallest one is 250

rocks extra wrikled purple freeknik ninety..(unreadable) tee with WE BOUT IT on back

talk very loud and laugh very loud seemily intentional

takes @ least 40 minutes to finish with a machine/bench

tries to holla at every girl that walks in

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

i hate my gym.
cuz of *these* muthafuckas right here!

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

I want to point out that in contrast to me, you look great, so you should be happy that I'm there ;-)

~ ~ ~

Grrrrrr © Tatiana

after reps on the bench press too. they give out that "arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" and you hear clear across the other side of the room.

i can't stand these guys. they get on my dad's nerves too, he always complaining about them.

the ones who haven't bought any new workout clothes since the 80s?

~ ~ ~

Grrrrrr © Tatiana

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

needing 2 hands to take a drink

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

while giving you a "Yeah, it's that serious" look

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

.

from the fountain....


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

or working out period. i will drink when i'm done though. it's said that it cools the internal fire.

http://shop.getyourbubbakeg.com/items/item.aspx?itemid=1272524&source=googlebase

i carry it or have it at the desk

.

sink, so do I.

No shame here. That's me.


(Sneezes) Sorry, I am allergic to bullsh#t.

You sound like you want me to change your mind. I ain't here for all of that. I'll give you my side and discuss things but that is it.

lol im guilty of that.... the water part

The cats that rock jeans and timberlands while working out, not to mention the all too famous doo-rag. They specialize in pull-ups of all sorts...

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

and I swear people look at me like I'm an asshole...

I truly am not a fan of everyone at the gym becoming bff's and hate how people expect you to become their buddy up in there

http://sayitwitme.blogspot.com/
www.myspace.com/spathegod

Me, I think I'm "Multi Colored Sweatpants Matthew". I'm that motherfucker with 12 different colored sweatpants. It'll take me 2 weeks before I wear the same shit again...


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

:)

REAL FUCKING TALK.... they fill the need to automatically talk to you while your doing a rep like.. if you can talk and exercise thats a problem.

boulders and cinder blocks, to add on, then get three guys to sit on TOP of that to workout with

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

So you swoop on their machine cause you think they're gone already, turns out they were just chopping it up with someone. So when they come back they're give you a "Oh it's all good" followed by a disappointed sigh. It's like, yo I'm not even tripping if you want to "work in", just don't leave yr machine next time.

Oh and this guy,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYBe8ur4uJU

.

Joe - old dude who is in love with a stripper, talks about spending all his dough on her at Pumps strip club in Brooklyn, 22 year old Brazilian chick, he thinks she'll fall in love with him. Always trying to 'train' young ladies that come in there

Toro - old head Spanish dude who is like the Fonz. Yells people's nicknames out when they come in. Tells mad stories about old days. Has the OG VIP Big time locker for his many years of paying dues at the Parks Dept. and coaching Little League and football. Always talking about getting pussy

Maury - young Spanish dude everybody gets along with, he gets along with the 25+ heads and is the bridge to the younger heads. Good with the ladies, getting his weight up

New cat - short and brolic Spanish dude. Wants to throw up mad weight without a spot, but his bench reps are mad short, like not nearly all the way down. I spot this dude cause he's on my level and up with the weights.

Pepper - former boxer who works at the spot. At first you can't understand what the fuck he's saying cause he got punched way too many times, but after a few months you pick it up. Brags about whoopin the Pacquiao's trainer's ass back in the day, and also winning bouts overseas. From Crown Heights used to box at the big gym on Marcus Garvey with the sign "Bed Stuy we do we don't die"

Polish dude - This dude is such a fucking stoner. Only been in the States for a few years but he gets it in every day since he was in the mother land. Spars and shows combos to another cat GC

GC - plays like 9 instruments and raps and is pretty brolic

Big Bear no homo - Big ass brolic ass Spanish dude you'll only see him come in like once in a blue moon and he will still rep three plates on each side like nothing

The Twins - Chino and some other dude, it's like an old school Spanish bromance, they been coming in to the gym every day together for years, they're old school homies until one retired work and comes in during the day time instead. Always talking shit

The kickboxer - Spanish dude who is nice as hell with the jump rope, always talks about macking any female who comes in there.

The arab - Hates pepper with a passion and has to consistently get sonned to shut his fucking loud troublesome mouth

EDIT: Samson and Delilah - BROLIC Spanish dude with pony tail who comes in with his Black girlfriend who has AZZ 4 DAYZ. This fool consistently sons the whole weightroom with gigantic amounts of weight and yells while doing it. He fucked himself up doing that shit and now Delilah comes in by herself.

The Cops - Eyebrow plucking ass, bodybuilding ass, short stop ass, cop ass cop, and intense on the weights ass, flexing in the mirror ass, tapered sideburns having ass, cop ass cop


I could go on for days there's probably like 10 more I just don't remember.

he wears a T-shirt with some goofy print, and track pants. He is always posted up on a machine. he may do 2-3 reps, then spend the rest of the time watching someone else work out, before he moves to the next station.

The cat that sees you beginning at a machine and as soon as you sit down yells out "Yo, how many more sets you got?" Nigga, I just started... I don't know, maybe 3...?


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

motherfuckers always on my shit!

related to: Work In Willie

"Hey fellas, mind if I work in with yall?"

the guy who speaks on a "hi/Bye" basis, and you think is cool--at first-- then all of a sudden he wants to follow you around the gym and workout "with you". Even if its unspoken. and his favorite line is " Hey man, I'll see you tomorrow!"

the guy who doesnt KNOW YOU from Adam, but wants to give you, and everybody else a lesson or dissertation on how youre supposed to do your workout. then wants to show you how to do it, but you NEVER see him actually working out on his own routine.

I ran into a dude like this that was always there and in my face
"see you need to set it up to level 9, that way blah blah blah blah blah"

I'm like Do I know you? wtf?

She doesn't really come to the gym to work out, she just wants people to notice how many matching valor sweat suits she has. Damn, I can't even imagine how my nut sack would smell after working out or 2 hours in a valor sweat suit... She does have a nice ass though, I don't mind Valerie at all...


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

*dude that sings out loud (he can not sing)

*40 year old guy who is going thru a mid life crisis trying to holla @ all the women who work out down there. he tries so hard...i almost feel bad for him

*the older woman who runs the gym is a HATER...she interupts conversations between men and women all the time and will stop what she is doing ie: teaching a class to interupt said conversations

*big guy hater...moves in on other converations

*white girl who walks around the gym barefoot...yuck

i wonder what people think of me, lol

to avoid characters ... i'm the type to just lower my gaze, do my thing, and get the hell out, no time for chit chat

but still ill run into

- the talker who is out of shape, but wants to give me pointers on working out or if they're semi self-aware, talk about how healthy they USED to be

- the guy that shaves in the changeroom (is this normal? because i find it disgusting and refuse to use the sink after him)

- dudes that hi5 each other during sets and openly compare their abs and other body parts with one other

- the creepy watchers

he wants to talk. doesnt matter what abt. doesnt matter what youre doing or he's doing. he's here to chit chat

abt music, sports, work...whatever

im the morose weight lifting guy...i came here to bang my mastodon cd & get brolic & curse ppl out under my breath...i dont have time to discuss chris brown & rihanna w/ your 45 yr old ass


it is what it is

bin's super soulful record 3/24 update: http://tinyurl.com/cqhnau

there's this tiny 110 pound, 5 foot Asian women who always tries to show everyone up at Yoga. I still like her though. She's hilarious.

Otherwise normal dude who whistles along to ALL the damn songs on the radio

"john 3:16" or "God's Power"

sings the slow Gospel songs loudly from his iPod.

i remember the evander tyson fight, they showed them in the locker rooms warming up. evander was in there having Church.

evander: NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....OH LAWWWWD, NEVER LEAVE MEEEEEEEEEE, I CAN DO ALLLLTHANNNNGS


today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

.

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

as in
*BANG*
*DROP*





yes..we know they are heavy
but really shouldn't you show a bit of contr...*BANG*
nevermind
smh*
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

drumming, playign the base, DJ'ing, the rapper hand notions.

^^^thisisme(c) common


today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

like the ONLY way I can tolerate doing cardio is basically pretned that I'm not in public and have some music that I really feel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who's flat top rules in '91?

"Sometimes I comtemplate moving to a warmer place, then the lake and skyline give me a warm embrace" © Common

Counting the days til 5/26/09

if I'm feeling a song on the iPod, I'm riding the bike with no hands, drumming out ish.....

Now, I won't ever do it again. Thanks Sean.

air fader. and even pulling the record back

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

and bobbing my head?

that negro got some hand motions for your ass

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

like she is going to the club. i mean she barely breaks a sweat on the treadmill by moving 1.0 miles per hour but still.

there just to look cute.

by the time I leave

I wipe my face a zillion times

One will spot the other doing tricep exercises on the bench while straddling his face

Okay that's not ambiguous at all

friendly, but always coming over to tell you and show you proper form.

on her cell phone in Arabic while walking on the treadmill

she is on the treadmill when u arrive
she is on the treadmill when u leave

and has kept the same stride the whole time


Amazes me

I saw this marathon white chick bust her ass so bad on one that I just can't do it

I get nervous even walking on the thing
homegirl face was bouncing on and off the strip it was so bad
I just can't. It amazes me too

shes in a full on sprint for 3 hrs, chilling watching all my children


it is what it is

bin's super soulful record 3/24 update: http://tinyurl.com/cqhnau

they usually have killer bodies too

.

Like I wish I could be on her level but sadly I'm not....be on the treadmill gasping for life after mile #5. You swear you a soldier but your body is like FOH we can't breathe. And that chick is next to you just galloping past mile #20 like it ain't no thang.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he still smells like man rape and peanut butter sammiches (c) teefiveten on Gucci Man

oh she's scary
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

a meal or three.

yeah i cant believe the people above are acting like its a positive thing. these chicks are usually anorexic and unhealthy as fuck. running for a long time at a moderate/slow pace does not equal being in good shape

-the one early 40's white dude that insists on taking the hip hop and african dance classes.
Nobody likes to be next to him cause he's always always at least 3 counts behind on each move

-the hoodrat chick that always wears something too revealing. Always showing off her pouch like it's cute.
That shit be disturbing sometimes. Even I don't show my stomach and it's super flat.

-the early 30's white chick that tries too hard to outdance the black girl next to her.
There's about 4 of these in each class that be looking ridiculous

-the instructor with way too much energy.
Calm your Ricahrd Simmons ass down homie

-the muscles buff fools coming from the weight room that stand in the doorway and watch us workout.
That annoys me to no end. I hate being watched.

-the quitters... these mugs will stay for like 10 minutes of the class and see how hard it is and leave.
I hate them with a passion, CHALLENGE YOURSELF.

-the black woman over 50 who proclaims every 5 minutes she is having a hot flash and needs some water.
Keeps on saying "whew! lawd jesus" like she's in church

-the big girls that make obligatory comments about how they can dance just as good as these "skinny girls"

spend their time walking around talkin to all the women....loud....I just look at them shake my head and keep running...

a few f them tried to engage in convo with me...I turned my ipod up and kept runnin...

damn nigga go work out...aint that what the gym is for

that's a little too comfortable walking around naked or topless
like I'll have a conversation with somebody with it all hanging out
I just don't really care about nudity.

I noticed the other women in the steam room had on underwear.
That kind of defeats the purpose. Long as you got a towel who cares

she's ALWAYS pissed. looks so angry

it doesn't matter what day/time i go to the gym, she's there.

i have the day off and want to go at 1? yep. she's there.

i go in the evening? yeah...she's workin' on her back

i don't get it

why she so angry tho?

this woman don't play. i try to stay out her way.

and she's tiny. like 5'1

NO
do i LOOK finished?!
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

who think it's perfectly OK to sit on the leg press talking to ur girl.

i hate those bitches.

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

dude is in his 30's...fucking giant, but short and fat so he has no shape. he's like a weightlifting grimace.

any exercise he does, he does in sets of 2 reps with about 3 times what the average human could lift. then he walks around the gym and does this LONG routine before the next set. the whole thing takes about 10 mins per set. if he's using a machine you need, you're just fucked.

i hated that human fire hydrant motherfucker.

Updated 3/16: Album Review: Random | Megaran 9: www.chopsteakmusic.com

walking slower than they would on a sidewalk.

.

he's kind of a dick with his space-hogging but she has more consciousness around that and she's got a great figure.

I think I might be that woman whose age you can't tell until you see her face. I've been told, and I believe, that I carry myself with far greater energy and uplift than most women my age, and I know my upper body is very well built. Probably lower body too but you don't really notice it b/c of the gym clothes I wear. I was noticing a woman the other day, whom I applauded for being in the gym, right, but at the same time I kind of thought, man, that's age for you, I hope I do whatever it takes not to look like that when I reach her age... only to realize that she & I are about the same age.

I can't go to the gym for a week or two (I think -- I'll get a better understanding of what I can & can't do later today) and I'm nervous about how much I'm going to fall off in that space of time. It ain't easy being an oldster.

~ ~ ~

Grrrrrr © Tatiana

walks around the gym talking on the cell
the whole time
very expressive making hand jestures as he talks so the caller can get the full effect
does a set of curls
leaves

yet somehow he is always ripped the fuck up?

you are some stare-gazing mofos to notice and remember all there people populating the gym.

Dude walks around the gym aimlessly...
Tries every machine doin one set on each machine...
Has no clue what he is doin on some of the joints ...
Discreetly watches other mofo's to see how to use the em

basically the new dude @ the gym

as twins in their 50s, evidently unmarried, they dress and act exactly alike which is as creepy as fuck and included in that is that they dry their hair by turning the blow dryer on and off and on and off OVER AND OVER for some reason that makes me crazy.

And in an otherwise completely empty locker room, they'll take the locker exactly next to mine if I inadvertently use a locker that they want. It took me months to figure out their schedule. I finally just stopped using lockers in that group so that I wouldn't have to wonder.



~ ~ ~

Grrrrrr © Tatiana

the guy always asking for pointers....and listening attentively...but not taking advice.

the "damn man, how'd u get so big? u take any protein" guy...

a funny one....the jabberwockeez asian popping and locking in the mirror in between sets of stretches(read the last three words again)





<----blue

www.myspace.com/bong100

runnin' around

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

i hate this dude, always breaks my concentration

that old as woman in the gym, whose body was most likely banging back in the day cause its still healthy now. she's not sexy or anything, but you can respect the fact that she's still in great shape.
---------------------------------------
not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend. © Cee-Lo Green

but when i look around,
and think things over,
all of my good days...
outweigh my bad days
and so...i won't complain.

there's even one woman who i swear is 125 years old. she makes me nervous doing triceps dips/pull ups on that machine that kind of has you in the air...

white lady.... wrinkles and all and she got a bubble in the back.... I'm like "That's just not right"

She would come in and no lie throw 45's on each side of the bench press and bang it out like "oh thats just my warm up set"

that skinny nigga with no muscle or definition who comes in the gym only to work on his cardio and flexibility. and that nigga is flexible as shit, but i wouldn't wanna ever be as frail as him.

he can also be known as the Dhalsim.
---------------------------------------
not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend. © Cee-Lo Green

but when i look around,
and think things over,
all of my good days...
outweigh my bad days
and so...i won't complain.

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

after a brisk warm up on bench with just the bar

tryna show them up


hate them dudes
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

she bounces from machine to machine

on some "one...two...ok done."

her workouts are like 8 minutes.


yet, somehow, she's in shape.


*all my examples are of women cuz i go to an all-womens gym lol

25lb dumbells in the 10lb space.

or puts one 25lb in a 5lb space and the other in a 40lb spot


today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

thank you



those damn people have me hunting around for a 5lb
oh look its on the floor...
behind the rack...
gathering dust...
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

I hate that dude!

How hard is it to put the weights back where they belong?

the one that is always giving every woman dirty looks and takes up the machines doing basically nothing and if you stand patiently waiting she gives you an attitude.

listens to hair metal really loud on the headphones and does a little headbanging once in a while.

She could be on that Susan Powter. Her body is CUT! Her routine is 20 minute cardio, 30 minute weights. She does pushups fist to the ground or w/ one hand behind her back. You peep her form on the pullups or in the weight area. SHE IS FOCUSED She's no frills got the weight belt and gloves. The brolic guys on the weight area move out of her way and NOBODY tries to holla.

You can't decide if she's a body builder, ex-military, a lesbian, or a machine ala terminator. You do respect her gym gansta though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he still smells like man rape and peanut butter sammiches (c) teefiveten on Gucci Man

and that makes you kinda angry, but u can't really hate.

that only works out with her brolic-ass man in tow.

dude just follows her around...may get a set in here or there.

but he's way too big to look like that from that little exercise. it's almost a certainty that he works out by himself at some other time.

dude is just there to follow that ass around and look mad at the world.

Updated 3/16: Album Review: Random | Megaran 9: www.chopsteakmusic.com

His girl is BAD as fukk!
And he knows that if he leaves her for the briefest of moments that the jackals will pounce. So he follows her from station to station, not getting any work done.

Sad.

has NO muscle definition at all but he just lifts heavy shit and grunts the WHOLE time. He usually has on a tank top with golds gym on it, and those colorful as pants with some old hightops on.

*grunt*
*lift*
*grunt*
*hold*
*grunt*
*DROP*
*CLANG*
*grunt*



me: *wince*
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

they're more about being seen, and showing how "BIG" they are

they usually got on weight belts and wrist straps, and all this kinda shit, and walk with there chests all puffed out and shit.

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

looking at the directions on every machine
(directions!?)
checking that damn piece of paper and makin notes
(notes!?)












yeah that's me
lemme alon
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

That is hilarious.

I don't be taking notes though.

like...he doesn't even look like he's working that hard.

Updated 3/16: Album Review: Random | Megaran 9: www.chopsteakmusic.com

Like, he wears tight shirts all the time. Okay, we know you're muscular as fuck but isn't your son going to be mad when he can't find his shirt...? C'mon fam, fake ass Melly Mel....


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

I know its da men's locker room but shower and put your sh*t on and go. This dude just walks around in da shower 30 minutes ass out naked.

Like, they have an extra shirt or towel that they'll lay on the bench after you've done your set only to put that shirt back on before they leave. Or even wipe the sweat from their foreheads with the towel.


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

thats shirt probably got more germs in the fiber than anything else now.

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

today's okp i'm going to fuck with if they search for their name: NewBorn NewBorn202

There's this one cat that wears penny loafers and jeans while working out. I totally forgot about him, he'll come in there with his bluetooth thing in his ear and just talking up a storm all while wearing dress shoes. Oh, he actually does work out though so I'm not that mad at him....


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

step on the elliptical and the handles are all wet

or the screen has drops of sweat on it cuz she was leaning on it, holding on for dear life.

=/

He has his iPod on, but he wants you to know what song he's listening to at the time. He'll even spit a verse or two... He'll recite the lyrics very loud too.....


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

you know the guys that load up 315lbs on the bench and slam the plates on while doing it.

bangs his chest 3 times and grunts while doing it

sits on the bench

bangs his chest 2 more times

gets under bar and yells

sits up

bangs his chest and yells

gets under bar and exhales so loud the CO2 meter in the gym is pegged

yells

sits up

and then...

he fucking leaves without lifting a damn thing. but he made sure everybody stopped what they were doing to watch his dumb ass

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

The latin chick that shows mega cleavage, like... she could show less but chooses to wear "that" sweater with the zipper. The zipper is never up enough and is always on machines where her upper body is bent forward so when you're not even trying to look at her cleavage it just automatically enters your view... Nice titts Marisol....



Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

the chicks that wear those little fucking shorts and they roll them down at the waist. and then have the nerve to give you the gas face when they catch looking at their ass cheeks hanging out the bottom of their shorts. i wanna say "BITCH PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! YOU DON'T SEE WALKING AROUND IN SPANDEX WITH MY PACKAGE LEANING TO THE LEFT DO YOU ?!"

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

like their high school, or sorority

bitch, im reading!

mill around her.

I have told more than one of them mofos,

"Look, I don't want your 'potential' bitch. Tell her to cover the fuck tho 'cause the WHOLE SPOT HAS MIRRORS ON THE WALL and it like the second coming of Dolly Parton up in this piece with her walking around.

Same with the aforementioned 'ass girl'. Look here, you don't want nobody looking at your ass? COVER THE FUCK UP. Stop wearing 'leggings' to the damm gym.

I mean, we ALL like to get admired but the days I don't 'wanna be gawked at' I wear some baggy shit. Take a cue and do that. Especially those days that is it brick cold in and OUTSIDE THE GYM. You stuntin. ..Stop.


(Sneezes) Sorry, I am allergic to bullsh#t.

You sound like you want me to change your mind. I ain't here for all of that. I'll give you my side and discuss things but that is it.

as a single, slightly unmotivated man...i welcome that shit.
---------------------------------------
not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend. © Cee-Lo Green

but when i look around,
and think things over,
all of my good days...
outweigh my bad days
and so...i won't complain.

Then again, that is why I always used to have a membership at a 'low key gym'.

As you said though, NOW I MARRIED AND WORKING OUT AT THE Y. And of course EVERY TYPE OF PERSON BEING DESCRIBED IN HERE works out at the Y. lol

On peak. Off peak. It don't matter. You are gonna see some what I just described. Good thing they did move the kids' gym to a whole other side. @ some of what I see.

(Sneezes) Sorry, I am allergic to bullsh#t.

You sound like you want me to change your mind. I ain't here for all of that. I'll give you my side and discuss things but that is it.

^^^^^^^thas me

:(

u cant help it sometimes

they dont be audible(thanks to the music and the chatter)

and rarely stink(thanks to the fans)

but yea

nygga be doin squats tearing it up

if u aint farting

u aint doin em right

i feel bad for the people that smell the gas leak. but sometimes i can't help it.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

if i do the pre workout protein shake guzzle





<font size="6" color="rainbow" face="century gothic">gay</font>
http://i39.tinypic.com/55nkub.jpg

now who else wanna fuck wit hollywood colt?

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

on my head. I hate to have people watch my workout, I will switch machines if too many come near. lol

I get there, dude is working chest. It's back and biceps day for me. All of a sudden, I see dude checking my style. Next thing you know he's abandoned chest and is on the preacher curl machine rockin the 30's "ez curl bar". He aint even checkin his form...just watchin me. Next day it's chest for me. Now dude, I know you were on chest yesterday, but here he is benchin again after I start gettin into it.

or when they see you going heavy and all of a sudden he went from doing legs to trying to shoulder press 70lb dumbbells cause you're going 65's

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

there's a female bodybuilder that comes into the gym i go to and as soon as she walks in it's like all the guys want to be on her nuts (literally). nevermind that she's like 45, has a voice like a man, and i think i saw her going into the men's bathroom. but when she walks in cats will literally stop what they're doing and walk to other side of the gym to talk to her. and she eats that shit up.

it's like 45 cardio machines in there and when she's on the stairmaster there's like 7 guys on the machines around her talking to her while she's doing her thing.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

>there's a female bodybuilder that comes into the gym i go to
>and as soon as she walks in it's like all the guys want to be
>on her nuts (literally). nevermind that she's like 45, has a
>voice like a man, and i think i saw her going into the men's
>bathroom. but when she walks in cats will literally stop what
>they're doing and walk to other side of the gym to talk to
>her. and she eats that shit up.
>
>it's like 45 cardio machines in there and when she's on the
>stairmaster there's like 7 guys on the machines around her
>talking to her while she's doing her thing.

That's a sad situation all around when you stop and think about it. And I'm not even factoring the little digs at her gender that you included in the description.

wants to have discussions, blow dry his hair, brush his teeth, hang drapes, fix a flat tire, balance his checkbook, and every other task known to man...butt naked.

you wanna talk about Obama's budget?? cover up first dawg.

will walk across the entire length of the gym...looking at himself.

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

the guy that's such a regular, he thinks he works there. he says hi to everyone but if you're a newbie watch out, he'll give you the stankeye.

the engineer that is only here during lunch break so he goes on the treadmill in his khakis and flip flops.

this mufugga is up in here every morning, sitting on a bench, reading the USA today and sippin a coffee. this ain't your breakfast nook.

that dude that's all decked out. i mean, he went to sports authority and bought 5 fits before he even had a gym membership. he got the weight belt, the gloves, matching dry-fit top & bottom, hand wraps, under armour running shoes and sweat band and some nike headphones.

then he goes and sits on the inner thigh machine.

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

came back and BAM. I guess he and Allen are related!

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

she looks like a female but lifts like mark henry. and she got a jaw like jaws from the james bond flicks. she scares the shit outta me.

Nick is the dude that has an excel spreadsheet workout plan complete
with diagrams that he keeps in a very nice binder. He checks off
his routines, and documents his strength levels after each set.
If he only gets 12 reps up when the goal was 15, he documents his feelings and why he believes his strength wasn't up to par.

Scott is the guy that takes it upon himself to befriend you. You don't really like the guy, but you humor his corny jokes and act interested in everything he tells you about his life. You think that the guy is borderline stalking you, because if you work out at an unusual time and he doesn't see you, he calls you out on it. "Where were you yesterday man? Probably at a bar drinking beer eating chicken wings huh?" "HaHa." He is single, (rightfully so) and he ususally drives something equivalent to a Toyota Corolla and works as a customer service rep. He's about 40.

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

this made my day

how did I miss this one?
somebody should make a short film about this

LOL

Let me do a set on the hack squat and then make a call for 10 minutes while still sitting on the machine. Or my favorite let me lift with my bluetooth on and talk as loud as possible.


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You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some Watery Tart threw a sword at you!

The guy that wears a weight belt ALL the time. He is working abs with a belt on. Doing cardio with the belt on. Funny thing is the belt is always loose, so it is doing him no good anyway.


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You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some Watery Tart threw a sword at you!

Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

OMG...

I need to quit clicking this shit LMAO

he's got the whole set up. The shirt, shorts, headband/wristband (including the wristband around his bicep), socks and the shoes. Thing is, he's small and doesn't really push any weight. He walks around from machine to machine. He'll bang out a rep here, a rep there...but mostly just look in the mirror and adjust his gear.

Rolls up in a brown dollar van

Directs a crew of 5 retards around the gym while they flail on cybex machines, stand on stair masters, and gawk at the women

I actually got a lot of respect for that dude

Updated 3/16: Album Review: Random | Megaran 9: www.chopsteakmusic.com

he's not that much into water, but he'll walk around the gym just hollering at his boys while downing his protein shake. You've been in the gym just as long as he's been in there and you've already completed your first few sets of reps. He's still adjusting his protein powder content while talking to a couple other dudes about what they need to do to improve their routines...


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

He has essentially put a handle on his bathtub and brought it to the gym. His water container is so big, IT does reps on the machine next to him. Then when he picks it up and chugs these loud, monstrous gulps, he leaves the trails of water behind just so you know he was there.

Check out my flicks...www.flickr.com/photos/sirapexthegreatest/sets/

Me in Iraq with a camel spider & lizard
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4k5o78LN-Q

http://vip.mikrobitti.fi/~tapiob/whitelines.gif
http://www.shof.msrcsites.co.uk/howitis.jpg

middle aged white lady that only comes to the gym for the yoga classes.

lecturing you on some homeopathic remedy and talking about her pilates videos. Always has saggy skin and carrying her mat in a cloth whole foods bag.

.

always in conversation with another woman about their diet and brags about hers.

Bluetooth Barry, Weight Belt Wilson, etc.

The Mexican at the gym with wayyyyy too much fake Coolwater on that kills you when you trying to work out next to him

You choking from the strong smell on treadmill

He wears his football conference championship t-shirt and gym shorts from high school damn near everyday. This is despite the fact he graduated during Clinton's first term.


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You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some Watery Tart threw a sword at you!

comes to the gym DIRECTLY from work in full uniform. Complete with Fed-Ex polo and shorts with black work boots. Even rocks the "heavy lifting" back brace joint.

and will take his work shirt off but WON'T BOTHER TAKING OFF THE SCANNER/SIGN THINGY! and he'll be in there for a good hour, put his shirt and go right back to making deliveries.

personally i think he's knocking off the housewives that are ordering shit so i really can't hate on his game. either that or he's doing some actual role playing fantasy for susan in severna park.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

The guy that never does as many reps as he thought he was or fails at a max. Somehow he feels as if he owes you an excuse or apology. Gets up grunting and saying stuff like, "ahhhh, my damn shoulder has been bugging me all day!" Thing is it happens to everyone so I never know why they are embarrassed.


-------------------------------------------------------

You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some Watery Tart threw a sword at you!

dude is so busy watching Judge Judy on the treadmill he forgets to work out

laughs all loud and asks you can you believe what's going on, on the show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M

there's two guys like this in my gym. one is about 6'1" and i've been in there on a friday night (yeah i have no life...i'm married what can i say) and dude came in, worked out his arms and chest and we left at the same time and he was dressed JUST like the guy in the video.

and the other guy is about 5'5" and i've only seen him work on his arms and he makes it a point to throw the dumbbells down after every set and walk around the gym in between his sets. and when he walks, yep you guessed it, he can't put arms down to his side and walks he walks on the balls of his feet so he's got the short guy, wanna be strongman bounce to his step.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

thanks to this post. nothing but laughs.


i am gonna be laughing to myself on the treadmill.

when he's on the bench the guy that's so damn short his feet don't touch the ground. so he has to put them up ON the bench.

but he's big as a fucking house and has john henry strength and drives a f-350 with a 4-inch lift kit and his girl is taller than he is.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

.

when he's doing bicep curls with the EZ bar he's rocking so far back that he looks like he's going to fall over backwards. and when he squats or deadlifts you cringe cause you know he's not going to be walking too well by the time he's 49.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

he warms up with 225 on the bench then puts on 315 for his first set. squats 405. dumbbell curls 70's. bicep curls 185 with the straight bar. has calfs the size on new hampshire.



but he hasn't done cardio since 1978.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

half decent looking chick

i'll read a book while on the bike or elliptical. just cause there's only so much on tv that i feel like watching

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

the dude that come to the gym during lunch just to do a hunnid pushups and sit in the steam room.

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http://renegadefrenchfry.wordpress.com

And want to walk around all flagrantly and use EVERY machine spreading their funk the whole while.

Has a chunk of his head missing from shrapnel

Over 75 years old and does head stand pushups without breaking a sweat

Has that "Do you know what it's like to kill a man in close combat?" look in his eyes

That guy's cool

Dude that does the dumb heavy bench presses for no reason and screams out whenever he does a rep.. Spittle flyin from his mouf.

mad annoying.

look like dude really walked into NikeTown and told them to Wipe Me Down

decked out in matching brand/color coordinated shit from head to toe complete w/ headbands, rubber wrist bands, and maybe an Iverson sleeve.

he can kinda get it in a little bit but its clear he came to be seen rather than working out.

****************************
*********
http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s278/jay8wonder/prince-4.jpg

The convo with Larry goes like this:

Larry: How much is that?

Me: _ _ _ lbs.

Larry: Let me get a set in

Me: (knowing that he can barely lift 2/3 of the weight) Um, you sure? Maybe you should warm up.

Larry: Naw, I'm good (lays on bench) Alright on my 3. 1,2,3

*Weight drops like the Dow Jones average on Larry's chest and I have to pull it off"

Me: Man you alright?

Larry: Yeah, I hurt my shoulder playing Madden last night. I am usually good for five reps on this.




-------------------------------------------------------

You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some Watery Tart threw a sword at you!

you know the guy that's sponsored by mcdavid. i'm talking neoprene elbow sleeves, back support underneath his weight belt, wrist supports, and the knee sleeves. and when he squats or benches he wraps his joints tighter than a tics ass.

YO MAMA SO STUPID SHE THOUGHT CHICKEN POT PIE WAS A FRATERNITY

the joke that started it all

straight but still has not lost a pound....

the buff dude that brings his srawny homey along and tries to get him brolic...
(when the buff dude doesnt show off, the homey rolls in there and half asses an excercise routine, so he can tell the buff dude that he showed up even when he didnt....)

the hot older chick that has a sweaty ass yet you still cant stop salivating over it.....

the old man who I swear only goes to the gym to show off his wrinkly balls in the locker room

straight but still has not lost a pound....

the buff dude that brings his srawny homey along and tries to get him brolic...
(when the buff dude doesnt show off, the homey rolls in there and half asses an excercise routine, so he can tell the buff dude that he showed up even when he didnt....)

the hot older chick that has a sweaty ass yet you still cant stop salivating over it.....

the old man who I swear only goes to the gym to show off his wrinkly balls in the locker room

they just think their deodorant quit


but you know
(unfortunately because you are stuck on the last available machine for at least 30 mins and you'll be dammed if you gonna be in the gym past 10pm...) so you stay planted
and your nose can't help but dissect the
two weeks left in the gym bath moldy clothes...probably never been laundered, no deodorant wearing and doesn't shave their armpit hair either and takes a bath once a week...maybe
and for the ladies...woman on her period
who you get stuck behind in yoga
NO PLEASE NOT DOWNWARD DOG!
one damn person who SHOULD use the gym shower WITH the supplied industrial strength soap
but instead unlocks their locker, grabs their bag
and walks their funky rank ass out
while rats, mice and roaches trail them like the pied piper
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
Afro-American haiku: If Elvis Presley / is King / Who is James Brown, / God?(c) Baraka

These 2 guys, I think they're German... all they do is work on their triceps on the "tricep rope extension" jawn. They do the push downs and over heads while encouraging each other to do more... For some reason, they are always in my way.....

This is the guy that's semi cool with the folks at the front desk, he comes in and gets his self all ready to work out but spends 2 hours hanging out at the sign in desk with the gym employees just cracking jokes and drinking gatorade for no apparent reason...


Best website on the internet: www.januswilde.com

this is the guy you know is in the shower, not cause the water is on, but because he's so damn noisy. we all can agree a nice shower after a long workout is great, but i don't know if this guy likes the shower or is enjoying "shower time".

never shower in the same stall as this patron.
---------------------------------------
not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend. © Cee-Lo Green

but when i look around,
and think things over,
all of my good days...
outweigh my bad days
and so...i won't complain.

100% improvement