expected of women at any given time in so many spheres of life, and it's the cumulative effect of that constant expectation that makes it tiring and gross. the fact that women are expected to be pleasing to others/make life more pleasant for others regardless of how they feel, where they are, what they're doing, is a lot to contend with. it's an acceptable expectation in personal life where each member of a family/friendship/relationship makes certain sacrifices for the benefit of others in it and there's a real bond/reciprocal care there, etc but to be expected to swallow your feelings and brighten the day of strangers on the street, for no reason other than that you're female, and you're there, is ridiculous. we aren't talking about common courtesy (which you can perform without being overtly 'cheerful' btw), this is something else and I like the way people try to pretend it's not.

more on emotional labor (but in the context of service work): http://inthesetimes.com/working/entry/14535/grin_and_abhor_it_the_truth_behind_service_with_a_smile/

(and birds sing sweeter
than books
tell how)