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Lobby Freestyle Board topic #85595

Subject: "#6 of 30. climax." Previous topic | Next topic
Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Thu Apr-08-10 10:11 AM

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"#6 of 30. climax."


  

          

your voice was the song
i was thinking of
while we made love.

the neighbors told us
to turn the music down
but we were at the part

when the chorus
doubles back into itself
again and again,

just to make sure
we felt it the first time.
the sound our lips

make while touching,
sweat dripping
off my brow

finding rhythm,
the moon's light
at your collarbone,

as our bodies
danced inside
a beating drum

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: #6 of 30. climax.
Apr 08th 2010
1
wrd up...
Apr 08th 2010
2
our own personal Trey Songz...
Apr 09th 2010
3
RE: #6 of 30. climax.
Apr 10th 2010
4

gsquared
Member since Oct 26th 2002
3647 posts
Thu Apr-08-10 04:47 PM

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1. "RE: #6 of 30. climax."
In response to Reply # 0


          

soft clarity, very nice...

  

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serpentinefire
Charter member
8874 posts
Thu Apr-08-10 11:24 PM

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2. "wrd up..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

love the metaphor...
and i particularly dig the rhythm that you maintained throughout the piece
**************************************
http://selewa.etsy.com << the jewelry

http://www.facebook.com/selewa

http://honeyontheroad.wordpress.com <<the gambia blog

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Fri Apr-09-10 06:07 AM

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3. "our own personal Trey Songz..."
In response to Reply # 0
Fri Apr-09-10 06:07 AM by mindful

  

          

this was pleasant, passionate, and well worth the read...

------------------------------
blog|browse|buy
http://itsallrelative.blogetery.com
http://www.formspring.me/mindful
http://www.lulu.com/content/7598631

  

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HueyNewton
Member since Feb 27th 2005
1923 posts
Sat Apr-10-10 02:35 PM

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4. "RE: #6 of 30. climax."
In response to Reply # 0


          

like the way metaphors dictate the pace of this, nice one . . {}

smoke cigars cuban large
-xxx

they showed us phYsically, we could reach infinitY, but mentally, through the century, we lost our identitY
-Rakim

  

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