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Lobby Freestyle Board topic #67634

Subject: "Lost Voice(Just Pause)" Previous topic | Next topic
ak_reborn
Member since Sep 24th 2005
1668 posts
Mon Apr-23-07 05:07 PM

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"Lost Voice(Just Pause)"


  

          


Yea,I rep' the struggle,
every lost cause,
and lost life,
lost war,
lost a wife?
lost voice....
so for such a loss,
Just Pause...
and then the tears come across,
dripping off of my soft,
cheeks...dripping onto the damp,
rhyme book which I tightly grasp in my hands,
feeling that inner meaning,
not just not giving a damn,
like an influential musician knowing he lost a fan,
im like your sun-tan lotion,
your skin consumes me, then you re-uses me,
like a bitch you just abuse me,
but words are a sense of speech,
thats why i write it,
highlight with images that preach,
my message in a vivid form,
thats why you be thinking im mourned,
as if im in the lyrical physical form,
spitting as if im somewhat tupac shakur,
Ak compromises lost voices,of course.

Intoxication, my voicebox rocks the nation
Sweet affiliation, the Doe Or Die situation - Az

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)
Apr 23rd 2007
1
RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)
Apr 23rd 2007
2
its how you tell whats authentic and what isnt
Apr 23rd 2007
3
RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)
Apr 24th 2007
4
RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)
Apr 24th 2007
5

freedomfighter
Member since Apr 03rd 2003
1942 posts
Mon Apr-23-07 05:38 PM

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1. "RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

tupac or rock running games
picturing you are a shame
last action hero whose 2 blame
back draft flames
burn creator of devilment sherlock homes aim
bifocal straggle vocals of found voice came
across beating shaka zulu fame
didn't even trust you rain
on christian camp pain
forcing white man 2 use gun powder
hanging hilter genetic breed world power
in the name of the lord
the sword slaughter millions
home of the proud america lifting
up bar codes scaned on necks folicals rizing
porky pin pens pulled frying
connections shifting 2 division but no one knows
space algebra dictations and nations
switch colors uniforms philosopy
religion don't you see tension
pulling on wind invisible trust?

you hahah get real



Freeworld Order
Dangurus Mines

  

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ASIEM
Charter member
4154 posts
Mon Apr-23-07 06:33 PM

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2. "RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

this was all so original and well written to get the imagery however i think the line with tupac robbed the piece and dropped the originality and left me perplexed like why?

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder

  

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Lincoln Hawk
Member since Jul 14th 2005
729 posts
Mon Apr-23-07 08:41 PM

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3. "its how you tell whats authentic and what isnt"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

im glad someone saw that

"dude, the only thing i fear is your hair cut.. what is that a mop glued to your head? come on man... style up."-Bartek

all across ya forhead and cheek bones...i break facials and reconstruct beauty to ugly...im an artist mang...Lincoln Picasso Van Gogh

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Tue Apr-24-07 12:33 AM

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4. "RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)"
In response to Reply # 0


          

>highlight with images that preach,
>my message in a vivid form,
>thats why you be thinking im mourned,
>as if im in the lyrical physical form,
>spitting as if im somewhat tupac shakur,
>Ak compromises lost voices,of course.

There's a lil' package of summthin' else ^THERE^ -- It's wrapped and hidden -- but I see a bit of logic behind the above lines.

(Either that, or I'm peepin' at an optical illusion) --

>Message in a vivid form -- (Like Tupac flowed with messages ... maybe?)

>Thats why you be thinkin' I'm mourned -- (Like some folks who have mourned & those who're STILL mournin' for Tupac?)

>Ak compromises lost voices -- (Like the voices of those deceased rappers who're still being played?)

I'm just hoping therez a method to the madness for the "tupac shakur" line, nahmean?

Otherwise, ASIEM & the Hawk make a good point! --


Overall decent flow, but like I said -- (((SEE ^ABOVE^)))







A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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ak_reborn
Member since Sep 24th 2005
1668 posts
Tue Apr-24-07 04:58 PM

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5. "RE: Lost Voice(Just Pause)"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          


Yea i get you Asiem and Lincoln, i did feel the same way, and photo put some good points in,however, when i write on these boards, i obviously have alot of ideas, but choose not to include them all, i just put my first thoughts down, hence why i do re-writes sometimes,cause i obviously dun spend alot of time writin em, but yea... i get you.

Intoxication, my voicebox rocks the nation
Sweet affiliation, the Doe Or Die situation - Az

  

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