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Subject: "Random 5 : Death" Previous topic | Next topic
revion
Charter member
818 posts
Thu Apr-26-07 03:06 AM

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"Random 5 : Death"


  

          

It keeps coming
Like a wave that won’t break

And it keeps collecting

It keeps coming
Without warning or preparation

And it takes without
Hesitation

I’m not looking
Where it strikes next

But I’m hoping
That it takes me last

******************************************
www.cdbaby.com/cd/iko
"i created a record label just to release this artist,listen to the music and you'll understand why"

Men write notes to her music - revion

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
*shudders*
Apr 26th 2007
1
co-sign.
Apr 27th 2007
2
Good One ...
Apr 29th 2007
3

mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Thu Apr-26-07 07:27 PM

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1. "*shudders*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you really put the feeling of "death" into this piece. at least for me, i could... feel the actions, the swiftness, the finality of it all. especially in the following lines:

And it takes without
Hesitation

I’m not looking
Where it strikes next

But I’m hoping
That it takes me last

*nods*

-----------------------------------
book1|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.wordpress.com
http://www.clutchmagazine.com

i ain't rockin' wit' you, your logic
does not compute ©The Coup

  

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Nowachaoticthing
Member since Dec 24th 2002
2178 posts
Fri Apr-27-07 01:38 PM

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2. "co-sign."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

I don't deal with death very well, so I was uncomfortable with this poem from the get-go. I don't think my negative reaction is a bad thing... I think it's a credit to your excellent writing skills... you really moved me.


"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

My crappy blog: http://www.livejournal.com/users/eyes_of_mine/

Blind Eye Turning: My book
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759

My other crappy blog:
http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Sun Apr-29-07 02:21 PM

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3. "Good One ..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

If I had just read the poem ... *Without the Title* ... I dunnno if I'd a' known that you were talkin' 'bout DEATH -- But the more I read it -- The more clearly I see the Grim Reaper --


*Felt*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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