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Subject: "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (Wirkola, 2013)" Previous topic | Next topic
bwood
Member since Apr 03rd 2006
8614 posts
Wed Sep-05-12 10:42 AM

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"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (Wirkola, 2013)"


          

Now I see why it was pushed from March of this year to January of next year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQaS8UjKCac

This looks ridiculous and not in the good way. I'm getting Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter flashbacks...

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
The fact that they were deciding the tone of the film in post.
Sep 05th 2012
1
Arteton is a *terrible* actress.
Sep 05th 2012
2
did you see The Disappearance of Alice Creed?
Sep 05th 2012
5
I still would impregnate her though...lol
Sep 06th 2012
6
actually, she's not
Sep 06th 2012
8
there should be more trailers that never lead to movies
Sep 05th 2012
3
AL:VH was enjoyable since they didn't wink at the camera.
Sep 05th 2012
4
No thanks, I already saw Van Helsing.
Sep 06th 2012
7
I hope this movie proves once and for all...
Sep 06th 2012
9
RE: I hope this movie proves once and for all...
Sep 06th 2012
10
RE: I hope this movie proves once and for all...
Sep 06th 2012
13
Hollywood's thinking on leading men is like Karl Kraus's quote on war
Sep 06th 2012
11
      True cause folks was riding HOARD for
Sep 06th 2012
12
My nigga saw this in fake IMAX 3D last night and said...
Jan 06th 2013
14
I thought this had an Evil Dead 2/3 tone/vibe
Jul 04th 2013
15
suprisingly fun experience seein this @ the drive ins last yr
Jul 04th 2013
16

SoulHonky
Member since Jan 21st 2003
25919 posts
Wed Sep-05-12 11:10 AM

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1. "The fact that they were deciding the tone of the film in post."
In response to Reply # 0


          

It doesn't seem like they had much of a vision of what the film was supposed to be during filming, which is usually a bad sign. I didn't think the trailer was terrible (and it didn't have anything that matched the stupidity of Honest Abe axing a tree in half) but it just looks surprisingly generic given the period (Gemma's line reads didn't help; neither did Jeremy's honestly). Granted, the movies it made me think of were Brothers Grimm and Sleepy Hollow and those were film by great visual directors so that raises the bar.

Smart decision to move it though. This is definitely more likely to find an audience with the new date.

----
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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
86672 posts
Wed Sep-05-12 11:29 AM

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2. "Arteton is a *terrible* actress."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Very attractive, but she can't sell a line read at all.

Doesn't look as good as AL:VH.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
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benny
Member since Jan 15th 2003
8435 posts
Wed Sep-05-12 05:32 PM

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5. "did you see The Disappearance of Alice Creed?"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

I thought she was pretty good in that. Much iffier in the other stuff I've seen her in though (which to be fair has been mostly big-budget flicks with little creative stimulation)

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DJ007
Member since Apr 06th 2003
5447 posts
Thu Sep-06-12 01:07 PM

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6. "I still would impregnate her though...lol"
In response to Reply # 2
Thu Sep-06-12 01:08 PM by DJ007

  

          

movie looks terrible by the way

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SankofaII
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Thu Sep-06-12 02:29 PM

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8. "actually, she's not"
In response to Reply # 2
Thu Sep-06-12 02:30 PM by SankofaII

  

          

she's great in The Disappearance of Alice Creed, Tamara Drewe, Tess of the D'Urbervilles and Rocknrolla (June)....

this might have been the one film where the script didn't give them shit to work with..and it didn't.

this looks like a flat out bomb, and given that it's been on the shelf for nearly THREE YEARS....

but january is the dumping ground, so there you go.

Get Out the Room
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Some of y'all need this in your life: http://www.psychology.com

  

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BigWorm
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Wed Sep-05-12 04:37 PM

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3. "there should be more trailers that never lead to movies"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I was amused as hell with the trailer for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but have no desire to see the movie. For me, it's like a two minute joke that doesn't need to be dragged out for 90 minutes.

So far, the only craaaaaazy movie trailer that was fulfilled (for me) by a satisfyingly craaaazy movie was Hobo With A Shotgun. Even Machete was a disappointment compared to how fun the trailer was.

This looks like a far cry from Hobo with a Shotgun.

I'm going to show this trailer to friends, but who really cares about the actual movie. I mean look at the trailer, they're basically celebrating how laughably bad it's going to be.

  

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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
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Wed Sep-05-12 05:06 PM

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4. "AL:VH was enjoyable since they didn't wink at the camera."
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

It wasn't full of one-liners and shit. The action was silly, but the performances were totally straight.

This looks shticky.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
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KneelB4Me
Member since Apr 06th 2005
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Thu Sep-06-12 01:46 PM

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7. "No thanks, I already saw Van Helsing."
In response to Reply # 0


          


"I halfway hope people put "btw, rappers lie and shit" on CD covers, like a parental advisory sticker." - OKP Villain

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SankofaII
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Thu Sep-06-12 02:31 PM

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9. "I hope this movie proves once and for all..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that Jeremy Renner is *NOT* a leading man.

I'm sorry, y'all. But, he's not.

Why Hollywood is trying to push him as such is beyond me...

he's a great character actor/supporting player who can easily step up in an indie movie as lead...

but these big budget films? i'm not seeing it.

Get Out the Room
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Some of y'all need this in your life: http://www.psychology.com

  

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rdhull
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Thu Sep-06-12 04:44 PM

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10. "RE: I hope this movie proves once and for all..."
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

>that Jeremy Renner is *NOT* a leading man.
>
>I'm sorry, y'all. But, he's not.
>
>Why Hollywood is trying to push him as such is beyond me...
>
>he's a great character actor/supporting player who can easily
>step up in an indie movie as lead...
>
>but these big budget films? i'm not seeing it.
>

Maybe he can star in a vehicle with Emma Stone?


_______________________________________There’s a storm coming. You and your friends better batten down the hatches cause when it hits you’re all gonna wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us"-Selina Kyle

  

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SankofaII
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Thu Sep-06-12 09:04 PM

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13. "RE: I hope this movie proves once and for all..."
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

>>that Jeremy Renner is *NOT* a leading man.
>>
>>I'm sorry, y'all. But, he's not.
>>
>>Why Hollywood is trying to push him as such is beyond me...
>>
>>he's a great character actor/supporting player who can
>easily
>>step up in an indie movie as lead...
>>
>>but these big budget films? i'm not seeing it.
>>
>
>Maybe he can star in a vehicle with Emma Stone?
>
>
but only cute/hot guys star opposite Emma Stone and Jeremy's too...how shall I put it..."distinct" to get them parts.

Andrew Garfield, Ryan Gosling have starred opposite Emma Stone. CUTE (Andrew) and HOT (Ryan Gosling).

Where would Jeremy Renner fall in that category?

he's not fugly at all...just not working with that "leading man" aesthetic that hollywood loves and values...

*shrugs*

Get Out the Room
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Some of y'all need this in your life: http://www.psychology.com

  

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SoulHonky
Member since Jan 21st 2003
25919 posts
Thu Sep-06-12 06:04 PM

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11. "Hollywood's thinking on leading men is like Karl Kraus's quote on war"
In response to Reply # 9


          

“How do wars begin? Politicians tell lies to journalists, then believe what they read in the newspapers."

Hollywood basically casts based on their own echo chamber. Jeremy Renner almost wasn't cast in The Unusuals because execs said he wasn't leading man enough for that ensemble show and then an Oscar nod, publicity/agent planted buzz, and two years later he's all over the place. Agents strike while the iron is hot and then Hollywood has to sell the guy as a leading man because they've all invested in him.

The same thing is happening with Elizabeth Olsen right now. She just needs one good supporting role like The Town and she'll be getting thrust into the spotlight even though much of the country will have no idea who she is.

----
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SankofaII
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Thu Sep-06-12 09:02 PM

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12. "True cause folks was riding HOARD for"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

Elizabeth Olsen in these parts here...

and I never got it...

she's good but not *THAT* good...

i remember folks kept screaming for her to get nominated for martha macy may marlene and I was like, um...nah.

she isn't even touching *THAT* yet...

but hey, i guess some milky white breasts and a sorta cute face has folks going gaga....

but yea i hear you on BOTH of them.

and, I do like Renner...but its going to become REAL clear that as a leading man, he sucks but as a character actor, he's fantastic.

Tom hardy, joel edgerton are in the same boat...GREAT character actors/supporting players.

leading men? hmm....time will tell.

cause real talk...even Hardy will say he looks for good CHARACTER PARTS and rarely talks of or thinks of himself as a lead...

Get Out the Room
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-out-the-room/id525657893

Some of y'all need this in your life: http://www.psychology.com

  

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bwood
Member since Apr 03rd 2006
8614 posts
Sun Jan-06-13 07:16 PM

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14. "My nigga saw this in fake IMAX 3D last night and said..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

it was shit. He was dying of laughter at how bad the movie was. He said the 3D was dope tho.

------------------------------------------
America from 9:00 on: https://youtu.be/GUwLCQU10KQ

  

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handle
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Thu Jul-04-13 07:01 PM

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15. "I thought this had an Evil Dead 2/3 tone/vibe"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Saw htis last night on the recommendation of a friend who loves campy movies.

It definitely had some things going for it.

Making Hansel a diabetic was cool.
The constant killing of characters that would have stuck around in most other movies. (The guide, the sheriff's men, etc.)
Edward was fun.
Lots of"fun" gore.
The slaughter at the witches gathering.
There was some titties!
87 minutes running time - with a rock-n-roll credit sequence.

I'd say its worth eh $1.50 from Redbox Blu-ray to see it.

  

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araQual
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Thu Jul-04-13 09:24 PM

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16. "suprisingly fun experience seein this @ the drive ins last yr"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

probly only 2nd to the last Ghost Rider in terms of just balls out fun.

V.

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