3. "Well they would need to bust him out of prison first" In response to Reply # 2
But that should be the beginning of Expendables 2. They got a job to do, but first they need to break Wesley out of prison. But I agree, Wesley would've made this even hotter. ____________________________________ Tumblr: http://thisisonlyinnewyork.tumblr.com/ XBOX Live Gamertag: slballer
Last 3 things I watched:
Bridesmaids: C+ Dexter Season 5: B+ True Blood Season 3: B
15. "This will be the most manly movie in history" In response to Reply # 0
You may as well just have 2 hours of greasy man balls on the screen. I don't care how corny the dialogue is, or how insanely stupid the plot is. I will be there.
The ONLY thing that could possibly make this any better is a cameo from Clint. Screw Segal....
<-- Dave Thomas knows what's up... __________________________
Jay: Look here homie, any nigga can get a hit record. This here is about respect. Game: Like Gladys Knight. Jay: Aretha Franklin. Game: Word, I like her too. Jay: Nigga...
25. "HOLE...LEE...SHIT!!!!" In response to Reply # 0
Everything that annoyed me with 1 is gone. This is nothing but wall to wall violence with a very simple revenge plot. Chuck Norris and Dolph Lungdren is absolutely ridiculous in this shit. It's all about the team this time and everyone gets a chance to shine. And the dialogue will have you rolling. Enjoy!!!
31. "yeh i felt weird after i found out about that a few weeks back" In response to Reply # 29
but in the end the work will always trump the death and things keep moving forward. and some poor shmuck had to lose his life in the process. its inexcusable.
32. "My problems with the first one" In response to Reply # 30
1. It was pretty much the Stallone/Statham/Li show. The others were barely in it
2. The action was pretty underwhelming. As a matter of fact until the climax there wasn't that much action. Terry Crews' magic exploding shotgun almost made up for it. Almost.
Frank Longo Member since Nov 18th 2003 65838 posts
Fri Aug-17-12 02:35 PM
34. "Lots of fun. Much better action. Van Damme stole the show." In response to Reply # 0
Totally empty of course, obviously no character work and just the thinnest of plots. But you're not seeing the film for that.
Might have verged on getting a little too ironic with the Chuck Norris shit and telling Arnold he'd be "terminated." Still, it's fast-paced and a good time.
36. "THIS: "Van Damme stole the show"." In response to Reply # 34
is what i was hopin for. catchin it at the drive ins nxt wknd wen wifey is outta town (cos i get to smoke my balls off n yell n scream n cheer in the car lol).
37. "Horrible. Horrible, horrible, horrible." In response to Reply # 0
Wow I can't believe how shitty that was. This director obviously had no clue what the fuck he was doing. I'm pretty sure this director thought that The Expendables was supposed to be some kind of action movie spoof where they get a bunch of famous actors to suck each other's dicks on camera for 2 hours.
No.
The Expendables was an amazing action movie. The violence was visceral. The hand-to-hand fighting was top notch. They got right into the action, and once they got to Vilena it was basically non-stop violence. That's how you shoot an action movie - you present a shitty situation, you give the main character a gun, and you get him to shoot the living shit out of people until he's out of the shitty situation.
The Expendables 2 was like watching the behind the scenes of The Expendables 1. It was cute, until you realized you just paid $12 to watch action stars say each others' famous lines. Wooopdie damn doo. The director didn't understand that you pay HOMAGE to their famous characters, and then you MOVE ON to make an actual movie. If I wanted to see whether Chuck Norris was aware that people make jokes about him, I would watch a Chuck Norris interview. If I wanted to see if Arnold Schwarzeneggar had seen the Die Hard movies, I would watch an interview.
Show me some fucking action.
This is one reason why the new Total Recall was so sick - they paid HOMAGE to the original, and then they said fuck it we have our own movie to film. Expendables 2 was stuck in the homage section for the entire fucking 2 hours. Expendables 1 they had the scene with Bruce Willis and Arnold where they all paid HOMAGE, and then they moved on and fucking destroyed Eric Roberts.
After the opening scene (which was comically bad - like an action movie spoof shot by somebody who doesn't even understand action movies), there is probably a solid 45 minutes where literally nothing happens. They go to one place, crack stupid jokes related to their old movies, then they go to another place and do the same. Horrible.
The only people pulling weight in this movie were Statham, Li, and maybe Van Damme. The rest of the cast was reduced to basically Gimli in Lord of the Rings status - say corny one-liners while you kill waves of dudes in completely unimpressive ways.
39. "It was just sort of... there." In response to Reply # 0
And I know, "but they're not shooting to get Oscars GOD wtf you expecting film snobb"
But for all of the firepower and intentionally corny dialogue and one-liners and dumb awesome kills and Chuck Norris deux ex machina appearances, it was just lifeless. No, sorry, I actually didn't see any fun being had, with the exception of Terry Crews. Cats looked like they just showed up on their marks and delivered their lines, collected a check, then left.
And BOY, were there a lot of lines. Shit was way too talky. For a movie that ran about 1:45, when shit grinded to a halt, it GRINDED to a halt.
And was Jet Li only contracted for 3 days or something? Was he committed to another film? Did he hurt himself to the point of debilitation? Why have him in the first 10 minutes only to write him out for the rest of it?
The novelty and fun of the first movie felt like labor and rehash this time out.
__________________________________________________________________________ We out here trying to function.
Except about Crews, who I also felt like was kind of just "there" (even though his character has always been kind of unnecessary...but in the first he at least had a major use).
Movie was completely boring. My advice to anybody is to watch the first 10 minutes and the last 15 minutes, and that's basically all you needed to see. And nothing in those 2 sections was particularly awesome except Statham's knife scene, Jet Li's pan scene, and the Van Damme fight. Although if you skipped the boring middle part you would miss out on the awesome Van Damme knife-kick.
Anyway...as an aside, I am completely impressed by Statham in these movies. I've watched his movies for years, but mainly because he's really been the only guy churning out decent action movies. But watching him stand out from the crowd among these huge action stars really upped my respect for him.
44. "RE: Expendables 2 (West, 2012)" In response to Reply # 0
i liked it....but i also know this is one of those movies where I'll completely ignore any kind of logical argument against it because i had a good time zoning out & watchin action for 2hours.
like folks said though, statham killed it. that scene in the church was awesome. same w/li in the kitchen. and the van damme scenes were great (spinning knife kick wtf???).
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