I still remember in the mid-80s being a kid on a cross-country TWA airplane flight hearing "I've Never Been To Me" by Charlene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhQWND9jKDA.

And even at the tender age of 9 being aware I'd tapped into something truly, almost unspeakably (until this post) awful.

That was back when an airplane had 2 or 3 music channels, with no movie showing & the airline 'station' played like six or seven songs total then just kept running them back in the same sequence long enough to memorize the order by the end of a 5-hour flight.

Heard this song 3-4 times in flight from Philly to LA (pop was working out there 2-3 weeks a month for RCA when not in the Camden NJ office & scored us a visit one summer), marveling at this maudlin mess before eventually opting for silence & an issue of SI.

Never forgot it either even though I didn't know what things like 'subtle whoring' meant (actually, I guess I still don't really).

Devoid of context, life experience, the notion of terms like 'overwrought', 'cloying' or 'painfully self-important' it still struck some sort of musical-nadir nerve in me based on my accumulated listening experience up to that point.

Somehow even worse than the time I'd brought that record album home from Showbiz Pizza Palace in Cherry Hill & realized these songs didn't sound the same without mechanical instrument-wielding animals in front of me pretending to play them.

Recently heard it again in a supermarket while now living in L.A. and actually found myself listening to see whether age/wisdom/setting could elevate it from the depths I'd placed it back then but nah, 9-year-old Bomb's musical gut instincts were still powerfully on point with this one.

Even the title "I've Never Been To Me" (which I don't think I actually knew until Googling it, always assumed it was 'I've Been To Paradise') is extremely douche-chill-inducing, a sensation much tougher for a female artist to pull off than her male counterpart.

If any one record could symbolize the worst-case scenario of Motown's move from Detroit to L.A. as the late 70's turned to the early 80's, it's this song (which is somehow classified as R&B).

So anyway, that's mine, what's your nomination for the worst major hit song of your lifetime?

Name the most spectacularly horrible yet inexplicably successful song you've ever come across in this post.

That's one of the first pop songs I was exposed to during my first listens to top 40 radio during like 1983/84. It's one of two songs that made me hate ballads forever. So overwrought and over-dramatic or soul-less. It still makes me want to stab myself in the ear-drum.

Oh, and ye gods do I hate, hate, HATE "Love Shack." It tries to be care-free yet takes itself so fucking seriously at the same time. Fuck that song.

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Checkin' Our Style, Return To Zero:

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through scrambled Prism by pressing the button halfway down on one of these http://www3.allaroundphilly.com/blogs/delcotimes/vincec/uploaded_images/Push_button_cable_box-730893.jpg during its endless run on that channel in the mid-to-late-80s.

As a result, I don't harbor quite the same hatred for it since it was a soundtrack to a quest.

I somehow loathe the Mariah cover of it even more and I generally like Mariah's voice if not always her material.

>
>Oh, and ye gods do I hate, hate, HATE "Love Shack." It tries
>to be care-free yet takes itself so fucking seriously at the
>same time. Fuck that song.

ahahahaaahhaahahaaaaa

*guilty here meaning that I *shouldn't* like it based on my own tastes because it goes against everything I dig in music and yet... I like it, even as a kid I did.

"Love Shack" is unbearable though and that's a shame because I'm very fond of B-52's early records; I got SO happy everytime I saw "Rock Lobster" and I dig several other songs from that era including pretty much the entire first album.

BTW, has anyone heard the album B-52's mainman Fred Schneider did with Steve Albini in the 90's where he was backed by post-hardcore luminaries like Tar, didjits and Six Finger Satellite? I've found it in cut-out and cheapie bins hundreds of times but just can't bring myself to pick it up in spite of being curious...

>BTW, has anyone heard the album B-52's mainman Fred Schneider
>did with Steve Albini in the 90's where he was backed by
>post-hardcore luminaries like Tar, didjits and Six Finger
>Satellite? I've found it in cut-out and cheapie bins hundreds
>of times but just can't bring myself to pick it up in spite of
>being curious...

"Born to be alive" by Patrick Hernandez is unbearably awful to me. Not sure it was top ten in the US though but it's a famous song that "everyone" knows and it sucks incredibly hard.

cued it up on youtube, lol, yes I do know it & it does in fact suck quite hard.

Video doesn't help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UaJAnnipkY

one thing I've noticed about myself is that
if a song is a massive smash, there is SOMETHING i'll find to like about it
upon repeated listenings.

usually, the people behind pop songs that blow up huge did something right.
a great hook. some nice harmonies. snazzy lyrics.
something.





"my heart will go on" is the exception to this rule.
i hated it the moment i heard it and i grew to hate it more and more as time went by.
and time went by slowly because this song was everywhere in my high school
and i even heard it when it wasnt playing because the girls that
saw the movie 17 times kept talking about titanic and i can't think of the movie
without hearing that song.

nothing about this record works.
her voice is grating.
the lyrics are stupid.
the arrangement is plodding.

the key change at the end that is supposed to be an emotional climax
does nothing more than remind you the isn't over yet, and you just have to sit there and take it for two more minutes.

the worsr part about it was that this song had worn out it's welcome the first time i heard it stayed around for the entire year. i couldn't escape it.


it was so bad it made me think that titanic was a bad movie,
even though i realized in retrospect it was actually pretty good.
the craziest part is that the instrumental love theme is used peefectly in the film because it's so subtle.

the score was actually perfect until celiene dione started shrieking over top of it.


this song is dreadful.


and it's not awful in a cheesy, campy, fun kind of way
("we built this city").

and it doesn't even work in an over the top, theatrical broadway sort of way (like Whitney Houston's material, or even bette milder or Liza minelli)

it's just bad and that's all there is to say about it.
this is one of the few top 10 singles that has no redeeming qualities.

i wish I'd never heard it.

but that song isn't terrible as much as it's just mediocre and over-exposed.
i didn't need to hear it that much when princess diana died.

and i definitely didn't need to hear it again after 9/11.

i hope he never rereleases it again.

>but that song isn't terrible as much as it's just mediocre
>and over-exposed.
>i didn't need to hear it that much when princess diana died.
>
>and i definitely didn't need to hear it again after 9/11.
>
>i hope he never rereleases it again.

but one version of it got lots of burn during that "we're all new yorkers" phase
in the months following 9/11.


it was awful.



EDIT: on the VH1 classic albums series, when asked about this tune,
he pretty much admitted he didn't understand the appeal of it.

neither him nor taupin remember writing the song,
nobody remembers recording the record,
and Elton said considering the amount of times the song has been rereleased,
he understands why some ppl would be okay if they never heard it again.


amen.

>EDIT: on the VH1 classic albums series, when asked about this
>tune,
>he pretty much admitted he didn't understand the appeal of it.
>
>
>neither him nor taupin remember writing the song,
>nobody remembers recording the record,
>and Elton said considering the amount of times the song has
>been rereleased,
>he understands why some ppl would be okay if they never heard
>it again.
>
>
>amen.

I understand not liking the song in terms of its being overplayed, and yeah, the Princess Di rewrite was about as saccharine as you can get...

BUT

In the context of the actual album ("Goodbye..."), it's brilliant. It perfectly encapsulates the main running themes of the lp (the sort of inverted values of shiny modern society, and the way we mythologize the past).

I think it's original popularity really stemmed from its subject - America loves Marilyn Monroe.

-thebigfunk

~ i could still snort you under the table ~

I kinda like the melody.

but when she sings it,
it dies.


>I kinda like the melody.

That whole market of overbearing grandiose "emotional" lady ballad singers is just dismal.

Yuck.


``i know you are fake. . . 'cause man, i'm the same.``
"unspecified psychosis." http://bit.ly/1a47kMe
"untitled 6." http://bit.ly/19QmVPu
"untitled 5." http://bit.ly/GWjmBl
"so whatever 2.0." http://bit.ly/18hYTfT
"1.5.2.0." http://bit.ly/18UMv7A

----------
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https://rateyourmusic.com/~Kosa12

because I was like 2-3 and would literally make them play it on repeat from Newport Beach to Inglewood aka 55 miles.

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to Lupe-toss that tape straight out the window on the 405 & not even care if I'd just made my son cry doing it.

------------------------------

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by Sonny and Cher. There's an old dude in the apartment below me that needs to listen to the radio in order to sleep. That song comes on 3 times a night and wakes me up everytime.

That tune drove me crazy every time I heard it.

I feel like actively & completely despising it would be hating on her happiness so I let it go.

That Barenaked Ladies song however can eat a big fat chiminichangachinesechicken to me.

I hate it hate it hate it. Young breathy indie chick singing a nursery rhyme melody half-ironically. So sick of that. But my daughter absolutely loves it so I gotta find a spot in my heart for it....no matter how hard.

it's like the producer just gave up.

There are no words

that dude perfected the warble-whine.....and why did he have fake dreads?

You can tell he was really trying to feel it. Just sounds so ridiculously forced.

not a fan of roxette, but maybe they weren't so unusual in the time period. remember other songs like escape club that seem like they're in the same pocket.

-------

http://soundcloud.com/ajiav
http://www.last.fm/user/ajiav

Games without front ears / born without ears

I tend to dislike 95% of anything that Will.I.Am touches. And this song was among the worst ever.

it made me hate pearl jam.

And I hate that dudes voice it sounds so forced like he doesn't even talk like that

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I only play the games that I win at -
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fuck that dude and his broken heart

before i even heard the lyrics.

and then i heard the lyrics.

fuck. that. song.

just reading your subject line annoyed me.

I was working at Tower when that was real big. And he actually says "fucking" in that song. I loved when soccer moms tried to return the CD because of that. Course he and the label finally caved and released an edited version.


``i know you are fake. . . 'cause man, i'm the same.``
"unspecified psychosis." http://bit.ly/1a47kMe
"untitled 6." http://bit.ly/19QmVPu
"untitled 5." http://bit.ly/GWjmBl
"so whatever 2.0." http://bit.ly/18hYTfT
"1.5.2.0." http://bit.ly/18UMv7A

having read any of the responses and this was what I came up with and came in here to post. This song SUCKS ASS.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

I like a lot of the songs in this thread, but I LOATHE this song.



~~~~~~~~~
"This is the streets, and I am the trap." © Jay Bilas
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/archive/contributor/517
Hip Hop Handbook: http://tinyurl.com/ll4kzz

rednex - cotton eye joe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM

>rednex - cotton eye joe
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM

Hahaha, I don't know if anyone watches 'New Girl' in here but the song now reminds me of the sabotaging CeCe's wedding season finale last year so it now makes me laugh.

If any of these come on the radio, I would push a helpless old lady out of the way to turn the dial.

messy,messy,messy

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

Horrible off key singing. Repetitive. Just horrible.

its been on

i hate it too

----------
https://93millionmilesabove.blogspot.com/
https://rateyourmusic.com/~Kosa12

his vocals are what sucks about it.

Still, listen to the song I put in the subject line & try to tell me it's better or anywhere equal to blurred lines.

This ain't just a 'hate on something at the moment'.

Really dig into the recesses & dark corridors of your brain as a listener to try to tell me what's the worst major pop hit you've heard in your entire life.

It can't be that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyhrYis509A

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie_Girl

fuck you.

That was so bad I couldn't even keep it on past the opening minute even out of morbid curiosity.

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yes.

the worst.

"Dancing On The Ceiling"--Lionel Richie

The song was epic in its pure corniness, and not in a good way...The pinnacle of the '80s sell-out...

"My Heart Will Go On"--Celine Dion

She's the go-to middle finger in this thread...But really, I hate the fuck out of this song...

"Baby"--Justin Bieber

I get this was a song for the kids...But yeah...

GOAT of his era......long live Prince.....God is alive....

suga baybehhhhhh

I can't name any individual songs, they all just blend in. Anything in that realm of pop songs that feature some bastardized version of rapping. I hate that shit so much.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/black-flag-to-release-first-album-in-nearly-three-decades-20131025

hey

____________________________

FUCK DONALD TRUMP

His only #1

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Bat dance Prince 1) that mess was garbage then and now

boogie wonderland earth,wind and fire 2) that was a desperate attempt and it felt forced

i just called to say i love you Stevie Wonder 3) lawd no and I love Stevie however that should have stayed in a hall mark card

dancing on the celing Lionel RIchie, hey even a Great Artist can drop a stanker and this one stanked 4)

state of shock Michael Jackson and Mick Jagger and mainly because Jagger vocally sounded horrible. tone flat 5)

War song Culture Club just was terrible IMO and I never liked that song at all. 6)

all for love Bryan adams, rod stewart and Sting, that was bag over your face muzak. 7)

mistermaxxx R.Kelly, Michael Jackson,Stevie wonder,Rick James,Marvin Gaye,El Debarge, Barry WHite Lionel RIchie,Isleys EWF,Lady T.,Kid creole and coconuts,the crusaders,kc sunshine band,bee gees,jW,sd,NE,JB

Miami Heat, New York Yankees,buffalo bills

because it sounded like super regular Generic Disco

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and so are these:

I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred

Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

Thong Song - Sisqo

Yes Sir I can Boogie - Baccara


I'm sure there are plenty more

annoying-ass-drunkgirl anthem SMH.

phemom's the name, all-star writer/
searching 4 journalistic fame, mindframe igniter....www.twitter.com/hayabusaage