i critique so much music on here, i figured it's only fair that i post up something I did.
any feedback is appreciated.
snark me. or complement me. or let me know what i did wrong.
whatever.
i put it out there... so Iim not afraid to get my feelings hurt.
also, if you provide feedback, can you tell me what you listened to it on? good mixes should sound good on anything, so i'd like to hear what, if anything, is getting lost in translation.
3. "I'm always checking your links" In response to Reply # 1
And there's always these nice flourishes. But it's always seemingly in a sketched out state. Sometimes the tunes pop back up to making my initial thought (he's going to develop that further) seem true. But I'm not sure if any of them are 'fully realized' in your mind. Not that they have to be but I get the impression you're going for that.
Joe Corn Mo Member since Aug 29th 2010 15139 posts
Mon Oct-14-13 01:04 AM
4. "that's pretty similar to what i'd say. " In response to Reply # 3
all the levels seem right, and really there's always the back bone for a really catchy, masterpiece song.
but it sounds like you're waiting on a song doctor to come in and lay a few more hooks in to make it really come to life.
which is not to say that what exists isn't good. it's just that the part of my brain that loves pop was waiting for the pop-music braingasm to come, and it never did.
>And there's always these nice flourishes. But it's always >seemingly in a sketched out state. Sometimes the tunes pop >back up to making my initial thought (he's going to develop >that further) seem true. But I'm not sure if any of them are >'fully realized' in your mind. Not that they have to be but I >get the impression you're going for that. >
5. "RE: I have lots of really good parts." In response to Reply # 3
They are short. They are simple. They are to the point.
I always go back to "Wave of Mutilation" by the Pixies. That song is only two minutes long and only four (very simple, very common) chords. An absolute classic though. And if it only took them that small amount of stuff to create something so enduring, I will get there too as long as I don't lose sight of what my goal is.
The problem: I haven't figured out what that goal is yet.
Just to have fun and sweat out my problems over the fretboard, for now. Also: I'm terrible at basslines.
Joe Corn Mo Member since Aug 29th 2010 15139 posts
Mon Oct-14-13 01:33 AM
7. "RE: It sounds thin and mostly out of tune." In response to Reply # 1
>But your heart is clearly in it. Which counts for >something. >
i often wonder if i am trying to sing in the wrong register. i actually joined the choir at a church so that i could soak up some things from the choir director... who is an excellent singer/ musical director.
17. "RE: Man, please don't take that too hard." In response to Reply # 7
You said critique it, so I did from a music listener standpoint. I realize now I was maybe a bit harsh. (keep reading)
When I said it sounds "thin" I meant from a production standpoint. My shit sounds thin as hell too. But I'm recording in my bedroom, so it's the nature of the beast.
As far as not staying in tune, I like that occasionally. That sort of "desafinado" thing, y'know. The chords I cannot pick out by ear, but the progression certainly doesn't sound "normal" to me — which I love. I'm so tired of music that goes G major-C major-A minor-E major (or some other such formula). It's nice to hear you apply that to a style of music that I don't necessarily listen to much.
I know we are basically strangers, but just from reading your posts, I can tell you are a great person who is definitely passionate about music. You deserve respect and I had a momentary lapse. I apologize.
(sidebar: the working title for the "untitled 4" song in my sig was actually "Risperidone" — but I thought that was maybe a little too bleak, haha)
Most of all: I can tell you are making music because you love music. That is fantastic. Don't lose that enthusiasm.
Joe Corn Mo Member since Aug 29th 2010 15139 posts
Mon Oct-14-13 12:07 PM
20. "oh i didn't take it poorly. " In response to Reply # 17
it's all good.
>You said critique it, so I did from a music listener >standpoint. I realize now I was maybe a bit harsh. (keep >reading) > >When I said it sounds "thin" I meant from a production >standpoint. My shit sounds thin as hell too. But I'm >recording in my bedroom, so it's the nature of the beast. > >As far as not staying in tune, I like that occasionally. That >sort of "desafinado" thing, y'know. The chords I cannot pick >out by ear, but the progression certainly doesn't sound >"normal" to me — which I love. I'm so tired of music that >goes G major-C major-A minor-E major (or some other such >formula). It's nice to hear you apply that to a style of >music that I don't necessarily listen to much. > >As far as feeling like I was bit too harsh, I am truly sorry. >Cross-post here: >http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=5&topic_id=2847649&mode=full#2847807 > >I know we are basically strangers, but just from reading your >posts, I can tell you are a great person who is definitely >passionate about music. You deserve respect and I had a >momentary lapse. I apologize. > >(sidebar: the working title for the "untitled 4" song in my >sig was actually "Risperidone" — but I thought that was maybe >a little too bleak, haha) > >Most of all: I can tell you are making music because you love >music. That is fantastic. Don't lose that enthusiasm. > > >``i know you are fake. . . 'cause man, i'm the same.`` >"untitled 5." http://bit.ly/GWjmBl >"king of rain." http://bit.ly/GNVnDp >"untitled 4." http://bit.ly/1772QTW >"saudade de mañana." http://bit.ly/1hNZLhy >"1.5.2.0." http://bit.ly/18UMv7A
Joe Corn Mo Member since Aug 29th 2010 15139 posts
Mon Oct-14-13 01:41 AM
8. "that's exactly what happened with the lyrics. " In response to Reply # 2
there were a few phrases i liked an then i went to writing before i lost the initial impression of what i thought it should be.
but that's good that you could see what i was going for, in spite of the intonation issues. i can almost hear a more capable band and a better singer jamming on the idea for like 7 minutes in concert.
but that's all in my head... it's not on the track, unfortunately.
6. "I dig the harmonic concept that's being attempted" In response to Reply # 0
but like Austin said, it's out of tune.
I also agree with him about your heart clearly being in it, and that being quite endearing.
But based on my understanding of your tastes (eg your love of pop dynamics), I kinda expected more verse/chrous/bridge distinction. Of course, I realize this is just a fragment.
All in all, though, I found it to be a not unpleasant listen. I played it 4 times and it did leave me wanting to hear more (as in more of the song, not more of the same fragment)
Joe Corn Mo Member since Aug 29th 2010 15139 posts
Mon Oct-14-13 01:50 AM
9. "my greatest dream is to write a perfect pop song. " In response to Reply # 6 Mon Oct-14-13 01:51 AM by Joe Corn Mo
it's the hardest thing that seems so easy. i only have written one hook that was catchy enough to be stuck in my own head after i wrote it... but the singing (and guitar playing, and drumming) i did on it is so bad i wouldn't even bother posting it.
but thanks for the compliment about the attempted harmonies. that's the thing i worked the hardest on.
>but like Austin said, it's out of tune. > >I also agree with him about your heart clearly being in it, >and that being quite endearing. > >But based on my understanding of your tastes (eg your love of >pop dynamics), I kinda expected more verse/chrous/bridge >distinction. Of course, I realize this is just a fragment. > >All in all, though, I found it to be a not unpleasant listen. >I played it 4 times and it did leave me wanting to hear more >(as in more of the song, not more of the same fragment)
I'd can the vocal effects, it comes off as really thin and makes it hard to really hear the lyrics you're saying
__________________________________________ CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!! ------------------------------------ Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this
>I'd can the vocal effects, it comes off as really thin and >makes it hard to really hear the lyrics you're saying
to add on to that, somebody else said it sounds like i tried to burry the lead vocal in the mix. so it gets lost to the background vox and the arrangement. what you said makes sense, too.
Joe Corn Mo Member since Aug 29th 2010 15139 posts
Mon Oct-14-13 12:31 PM
21. "i wrestled with that about phrasing. " In response to Reply # 18
i tend to over pronounce things in conversation, too. but yeah... i wondered about that.
> >>And your phasing. Seems every word u said was over >>pronounced. > >but I don't know where JCM is from and regional quirks like >that should not only be excused, but probably even embraced >
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