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Subject: "Sometimes I “forget” that I’m a Black man" Previous topic | Next topic
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22248 posts
Wed May-29-19 09:37 AM

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"Sometimes I “forget” that I’m a Black man"


  

          

Like I’m always aware that I’m a Black man but sometimes I forget what all that entails. So we have a neighbor a few houses down that NEVER speaks to me or acknowledges when we’re in the same space (not too close)
But you know like pulling up at the same time. Passing houses to go to the mailbox
That kind of stuff. No nod. No waves. Just that I may as well be a tree. She sees me and has never not once acknowledged me for two years.
And yesterday I was thinking ... maybe she just hates Black people.
Like I’m so used to my Texas racist ass racism but also Southern suburban racists who are polite that I forget about that east coast racists
That may live in the “bluest” of “blue”, but just don’t talk to “others”


I can’t call it. Took me two years to even think of it
She ain’t cute anyways.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
what happened when you tried to speak to her?
May 29th 2019
1
I was looking like a puppy waiting to be pet.
May 29th 2019
10
      Just keep trying bruh. Next time, she'll be like:
May 29th 2019
18
           We moved yesterday. I thought to ask my wife if she’d ever spoken
May 30th 2019
23
When white people say “that neighborhood isn’t safe”
May 29th 2019
2
i am that neighbor
May 29th 2019
3
She doesn’t acknowledge the wave or nod.
May 29th 2019
11
Yea. That's fucked up.
May 29th 2019
22
That’s bullshit,it’s not hard just to say hi. all this introvert bs ...
May 29th 2019
15
      i probably have some undiagnosed issue
May 29th 2019
19
           You said you generally acknowledge
May 29th 2019
20
                Unless you are deaf or blind
May 30th 2019
24
                oh...then yeah
May 30th 2019
25
I got folks in my office like this, going back years.
May 29th 2019
4
the opposite is just as annoying
May 29th 2019
5
Hahaha - the first part is fine IMO. 2nd part is like, only if you ask ....
May 29th 2019
21
being human is hard, adding OTHER puts the game on difficult mode.
May 29th 2019
6
never overthink it
May 29th 2019
7
I found this discussion interesting.
May 29th 2019
8
1. We live three townhouses apart.
May 29th 2019
13
      She’s prolly mad you procreated.
May 29th 2019
14
It wouldn’t bother me at all...
May 29th 2019
9
I’m at a point where I don’t speak first
May 29th 2019
12
^^^^^^^^
May 29th 2019
16
      I keep it real Indian and Ethiopian these days
May 29th 2019
17
           I need to ask my Indian coworkers about this. But I have Indian friends
May 30th 2019
27
I hope my misanthropy is never misconstrued as racism
May 30th 2019
26

CyrenYoung
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34204 posts
Wed May-29-19 09:52 AM

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1. "what happened when you tried to speak to her?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22248 posts
Wed May-29-19 11:05 AM

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10. "I was looking like a puppy waiting to be pet. "
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13546 posts
Wed May-29-19 03:45 PM

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18. "Just keep trying bruh. Next time, she'll be like: "
In response to Reply # 10


          

https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article13020209.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200/0_Black-woman-accuses-building-owner-of-white-privilege-after-she-calls-cops-when-she-stood-in-her-d.jpg


I'm joking, obviously.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22248 posts
Thu May-30-19 08:54 AM

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23. "We moved yesterday. I thought to ask my wife if she’d ever spoken"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

Nope
Ever wave?
.... I’d have to think about it
Told her about my thoughts
Maybe, she’s talks to Beverly’s (next door lady) racist ass all the time.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:01 AM

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2. "When white people say “that neighborhood isn’t safe”"
In response to Reply # 0


          

when talking about my side of town...

I used to be like “wtf?” but then I realized it’s because it’s diverse.

Most of my coworkers are afraid of the city and still cite the Charlotte “riots” like that shit was some Escape from New York type shot.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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mista k5
Member since Feb 01st 2006
16404 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:11 AM

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3. "i am that neighbor"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

not yours but i dont acknowledge anyone. i keep to myself, if i get to my house at the same time as my neighbor i just keep it moving. if they wave or something i will acknowledge them but i dont initiate anything and i keep my interaction minimal.

all my neighbors are yt or latino but that nothing to do with it lol

not saying your neighbor isnt racist but there are these people that just dont like interacting. not saying its right.

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22248 posts
Wed May-29-19 11:06 AM

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11. "She doesn’t acknowledge the wave or nod. "
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24376 posts
Wed May-29-19 09:16 PM

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22. "Yea. That's fucked up."
In response to Reply # 11


          

Probably racist.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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rdhull
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33109 posts
Wed May-29-19 03:00 PM

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15. "That’s bullshit,it’s not hard just to say hi. all this introvert bs ..."
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

>not yours but i dont acknowledge anyone. i keep to myself, if
>i get to my house at the same time as my neighbor i just keep
>it moving. if they wave or something i will acknowledge them
>but i dont initiate anything and i keep my interaction
>minimal.
>
>all my neighbors are yt or latino but that nothing to do with
>it lol
>
>not saying your neighbor isnt racist but there are these
>people that just dont like interacting. not saying its right.

  

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mista k5
Member since Feb 01st 2006
16404 posts
Wed May-29-19 03:58 PM

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19. "i probably have some undiagnosed issue"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

it is hard for me to say hi to people that i am not comfortable with. im not saying that people should be this way and stay this way but there are people like this.

  

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rdhull
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33109 posts
Wed May-29-19 06:34 PM

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20. "You said you generally acknowledge "
In response to Reply # 19


  

          

If someone says hi and then kim.... nothing wrong with that. I’m talking someone saying hi and you just staring it refusing to acknowledge and kim. In other words, that neighbor of Meats can’t us some excuse of being unresponsive... she’s straight up racist asshole

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Thu May-30-19 09:00 AM

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24. "Unless you are deaf or blind"
In response to Reply # 20


          

I don’t see any reason besides racism for lot acknowledging someone’s hello.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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mista k5
Member since Feb 01st 2006
16404 posts
Thu May-30-19 09:50 AM

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25. "oh...then yeah"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

i think you replied to the wrong post then?

not returning a greeting is rude at best.

  

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13546 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:20 AM

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4. "I got folks in my office like this, going back years."
In response to Reply # 0


          

They actively avoid any interaction with me. I mean like avoid eye contact, looking away, whipping out the phone, counting the fibers in the carpet, etc.

I'd say something to them, but honestly people treating me the same as they do the homeless dudes asking them for change is offensive-as-fuck. I hate to do it, but I just ignore them.


The white folks in my neighborhood are friendly-as-hell, but it's over 3/4 black. I'm wondering at what percent do the asshole stare-at-you-with-sunglasses-and-never-speak types start to move in and flex their entitlement.

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16800 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:25 AM

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5. "the opposite is just as annoying"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

my white neighbors try to put too much effort in
had something happen to me recently
cop followed me up to the gates of my neighborhood
neighbor was coming out and came over to make sure im aight
he getting agitated talking bout badge number and all that
im like....bro calm down

that was a topic for a like a week straight
his wife is a lawyer and was drafting a lawsuit
im like...calm down

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24376 posts
Wed May-29-19 09:13 PM

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21. "Hahaha - the first part is fine IMO. 2nd part is like, only if you ask ...."
In response to Reply # 5
Wed May-29-19 09:22 PM by Brew

          

>my white neighbors try to put too much effort in
>had something happen to me recently
>cop followed me up to the gates of my neighborhood
>neighbor was coming out and came over to make sure im aight
>he getting agitated talking bout badge number and all that
>im like....bro calm down

I can't really hate on the above hah ... cause I'd probably react pretty similarly were I to witness a cop possibly harassing my black neighbor. I prolly wouldn't go as far as to press for his badge #, or even say anything at all unless the cop was being really extra, but I'd most likely be out of my house, making myself visible and available to my neighbor in case the cop goes Cop.

My neighborhood's pretty mixed, and thankfully I've never witnessed a potential police harassment situation ... but should I not even do the above in the instance I ever do ? I don't want to overstep or anything. But I'd also hate to think I missed an opportunity to help if I saw something going on I could've potentially helped prevent somehow.


>that was a topic for a like a week straight
>his wife is a lawyer and was drafting a lawsuit
>im like...calm down

LOL OK yea - thisssss is a little extra in this instance.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:27 AM

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6. "being human is hard, adding OTHER puts the game on difficult mode. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

like, it's like, you can go crazy running through all the possible logic involved in the situation

is she socially anxious or is she afraid of black people

is she not comfortable around male strangers or is she afraid of black people

is there something about you that reminds her of an unpleasant person or experience or is she afraid of black people.


is it X or is it Y?

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
85002 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:36 AM

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7. "never overthink it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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49336 posts
Wed May-29-19 10:56 AM

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8. "I found this discussion interesting. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

https://twitter.com/minakimes/status/1114965436213260288

This woman was talking about how men should behave in elevators and other women chime in and I guess I mainly think about it from the other side, that is, being a black man who feels unfairly treated by a woman in an enclosed space alone with a man.

The homey Jamele Hill I think was the first to chime in from the black male perspective.

https://twitter.com/jemelehill/status/1115020305821384704


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22248 posts
Wed May-29-19 11:29 AM

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13. "1. We live three townhouses apart. "
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

We’re neighbors in the since that If my shit burned down hers would too

So with that in mind it’s worth

2. Acknowledging each other as human beings. And I understand the creep factor but that ignores that

3. I’m CONSTANTLY seeing her while I’m with my small child


If anything I’m the one who’s vulnerable.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Wed May-29-19 12:46 PM

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14. "She’s prolly mad you procreated. "
In response to Reply # 13


          

I had a neighbor across the street who would run in the house when she saw me. She knew all the neighbors but I guess she didn’t want to know any knew ones.

But she was also a heavy drinker, seemed a little unstable and when they moved out you would’ve thought the law was after them. They were breaking shit with a sledgehammer and got ghost like they skipped out on rent.

I wave, speak to the neighbors I like but I’m not trying to get too involved in other folks affairs.

My wife is real cool with my neighbor. They even watch the kids every now and then.. but when she goes into “guess what my husband did after he left me” mode... too much info.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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hip bopper
Member since Jun 22nd 2003
7385 posts
Wed May-29-19 11:01 AM

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9. "It wouldn’t bother me at all..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

I never speak to my neighbors anyways and I don’t care to speak with them.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Wed May-29-19 11:22 AM

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12. "I’m at a point where I don’t speak first"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I’ll look them in the eye and KIM.

If they speak I will respond but I know the deal.

Funny thing down is down south almost everyone speaks.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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rdhull
Charter member
33109 posts
Wed May-29-19 03:01 PM

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16. "^^^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

>I’ll look them in the eye and KIM.
>
>If they speak I will respond but I know the deal.
>
>Funny thing down is down south almost everyone speaks.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Wed May-29-19 03:08 PM

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17. "I keep it real Indian and Ethiopian these days "
In response to Reply # 16


          

Those jokers never speak to anyone first that isn’t from their Homeland.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Case_One
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54687 posts
Thu May-30-19 09:58 AM

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27. "I need to ask my Indian coworkers about this. But I have Indian friends"
In response to Reply # 17


          

>Those jokers never speak to anyone first that isn’t from
>their Homeland.

A lot of them don't speak, especially females. But I'm cool with a lot of the males and one of my workout partners is Indian. Not some guys will jump in to talk if you speak to them. But I never really paid it any attention because I'm so used to speaking first anyway.



.
.

“It was the evidence from science and history that prompted me to abandon my atheism and become a Christian.” — Lee Strobel, The Case for Christ

  

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Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
32081 posts
Thu May-30-19 09:56 AM

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26. "I hope my misanthropy is never misconstrued as racism "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I hate everyone equally

  

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