how I'm feeling right about this second: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1moGYiW9hd8


4 years ago my aunt died. She has a son who's been rudderless as fuck. He moved in with his pops and brothers. Hes the baby in the group and for his whole life they've been physically/mentally/emotionally abusive to him.

That summer, I paid for a plane ticket for him to come through to visit me for two weeks. We kicked it and I realized something was kinda off. He was definitely living in his trauma.

For years hes been that family member that can't get it together and is always asking for money. I was over giving him money, I was willing to kick some strategy with him though. Don't learn from your mistakes, learn from my mistakes.

Later that year I gifted him a laptop so he can look for a job and just be able to exist as a damn human being in the world. Getting a laptop changed my entire reality, it put me on the map and lead to a lot of positive life changing stuff.

We also talked about getting therapy so I found a therapist in his town to start talking through his troubles. I even paid for it out of pocket. I said "if you change your mind LET ME KNOW ASAP BECAUSE I AM PAYING OUT OF POCKET". Of course I got burned, he went once or twice if that and then stopped going and didn't tell me. I had to call the place and when they went down the line I realized it had been some weeks since he last went.

3 years ago - hes still asking me for money at this point, and my answer has been "nah"

2.5 years ago - hes still asking me for money at this point, and my answer has been "nawl"

2 years ago - hes still asking me for money at this point, and my answer has been "nope!"

last month he hit me up asking me for my money, my answer was "Hell to the nawl nawl...I'm not in the position, but, asking respectfully here...why are you always in a position of need? Is it a lack of funds or a lack of budgeting? I can help you create a plan"

When he first visited 4 years ago I tried to kick game on finding a job, finding a better job, how much money is needed to be able to move out, how much money he just needs in general. All throughout all those conversations he would just shut down or say "you don't get it bro" - meanwhile, I'm thinking, "no man, YOU don't get it. It's about to be cold as fuck for you. You aint got no moma, your pops aint it and you have exhausted nearly all favors throughout all the years of nickle and diming folks to death by way of taking and taking and taking and taking but then acting like an asshole when someone wants to offer help and you only hit us up when you need dough."

This. Negro's. Response. Has. Me. Heated. As. Shit.

Essentially it's "you didn't save me from my abusive home, so you can't really say shit. I'm not stupid, I can add numbers, also, you kinda dumb for not understanding how fucked up my life is"

28 year old man.

28 year old man still blaming all of his problems on external shit.

He's burnt so many bridges.

I know its the trauma talking but its becoming so goddamned hard to ride for someone that can't unravel.

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

i know it's part of their chaotic/abusive upbringing, but at a certain point, no one can fix that shit for you.

In a generation of swine, the one-eyed pig is king.
-Hunter S. Thompson

and I'm trying to be empathetic but I feel like I'm getting crazy back when I'm trying to help

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

sometimes it feels like their goal is to bring other people into their world instead of trying to get themselves out. I don't know if that's accurate or not, but that's what it feels like.

Deep down, dude probably knows you're doing right by him. He might not admit it or realize it until later, if ever.

In a generation of swine, the one-eyed pig is king.
-Hunter S. Thompson

Particularly with the therapist. It's the right advice, but if he can't bring himself to go . . . I don't know. Depression and trauma can fuck you up so much that you don't even realize what you need when it's looking you right in the face. What really sucks is that even if he is really ever to go to therapy, he might still have this block of "well it didn't do anything for me last time."

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12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

>What really sucks is that even if he is really ever to go to
>therapy, he might still have this block of "well it didn't do
>anything for me last time."

you are not lying. this is one of my big fears.

and the crazy thing is that I can tell he's searching for something to help him figure out life. He goes to psychics all the time and hes gone down into holes with these youtube "spiritual teachers" who toe cult line.

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

with my nephew but, you were nice. i ain't about to be giving no
able-bodied negro no free cash unless it's a special occasion. plus
his attitude is shitty and no one wants to hear pitty parties in
this day and age. if he can go out and buy a video game or some shoes
than he can go out and hustle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_mentality

If it's always someone else's fault, then they don't have to look in the mirror, take responsibility and make changes. They can keep blaming everyone else and protect their egos. I know a dude like this. 40yo married father that still blames everyone else, INCLUDING THE VERY PEOPLE THAT HELP HIM. And by "help," I mean cash. Thousands.

Only thing I've seen that works for these folks is when they are COMPLETELY cut off and have no one else to blame but themselves.

all the 'help' (aka enabling) can hinder their growth in the long run. Let him learn by himself, you've done all a decent person can be expected to do.

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Had a job, was in culinary school, her in place..

She gave it all up for some booty.

Quit her job, Moved across the country, never moved her stuff out and lost it all... I’m talking kitchen aid equipment, bed, food appliances, tv, etc

and it’s everyone else’s fault for why she is where she is...

But she still isn’t as bad as my cousin who is 50 and uses FB to beg for money, jobs, rides, etc. Ain’t no one trying to here how bad you got it in the rust belt. They all struggling so stfu

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

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L

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*