1. "I pay bills at the last possible minute. And I hate when i'm guilt tripp..." In response to Reply # 0 Wed Nov-14-18 09:21 AM by FLUIDJ
about it. They get paid on time. MY time. I've never been in a hurry to part with my money. I don't see the point in paying bills "early" or before they're due. When they're due, I pay them. If a lender says something is "... due on Dec.1 but not considered late until Dec.15" then MY ass is paying that joint on Dec.14th" I don't even get the concept of "Last minute" FOH.. if it's due, and I pay when it's due...then I paid on the Due date. On time. Not last minute.. The whole concept of "Last minute" needs to be abolished
I schedule all my bill payments to be delivered on the due date. I dont consider that last minute at all. That's just on time. I actually schedule the payments much earlier. Why should they get to hold my money before it's owed to them?
6. "i used to be one of them, pay early niggas, but now... with kids" In response to Reply # 1
and daycare and school tuition and all this other shit...
them fucking bills can wait til they are due. I get paid and instead of paying all them shits on payday, i will set up automatic payments for the due dates.
that electricity and water dont get paid until that final final notice, and even then its the first bill that i pay, not the full amount.
im trying to change that though. i get paid two times a month. i want to pay anything not on autopay as soon as possible so i have no illusions of how much "free money" i have until next check.
i feel like im letting too much money disappear then i get that autopay hit and no good.
4. "I've grown to dislike my chosen career" In response to Reply # 0
Feels like I'm wasting my life away spending all of my time solving other people's problems. The same dumb fucking problems for 20+ years. Never going to be rich or even be able to retire early on this track.
5. "I'm not there yet but I'm close.. developer?" In response to Reply # 4
I'm starting to think about what I'll be doing after this and it's not clear yet... It's like I'm trying to find a career for my next phase in life.. cause clearly this doesn't feel like it..
Constantly learning poorly-thought-out, terribly-coded frameworks/libraries/CMSs/languages with scant documentation has burned me out. I've lost it and I doubt it will come back. Gotta figure out what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life because this ain't it.
The good thing is, I realize this at 40 instead of at 60.
8. "My self confidence is hurt...." In response to Reply # 0
5 months after my last breakup. I was initially over it after the first three weeks. Like not thinking about the woman at all.
Then I came into some info. She moved on and was probably fucking the next dude inside of a month, at most. Some hood dude across the street who's a wanna be rapper who's like 8-10 yrs younger than her, with nothing but weed, bullshit and poppin' bottles on his IG.
Her? Don't miss. Wouldn't take back with a recommendation from Jesus himself, but being thrown aside like trash, and dishonestly at that (she was real deceitful at the end, although she was calling me love up until the end)......that shit stings.
Most days I'm alright, but that shit comes and goes like the tide. I really can't wait for time to heal this, cause this shit is really fuckin' with me. ______________________________________________________________________________
9. "Black middle class piece of sh*t." In response to Reply # 0
*My inability to find a good hair stylist can be contributed in part to me apparently being a classist, Black middle-upper class piece of shi*t. Every other stylist and their clients on StyleSeat “looks” ratchet or perform services at home in a raggedy-looking environment. Don’t ask me how someone can “look ratchet.” Just don’t. Unfortunately, the bougie Black girl places tend to focus on straight hair and I wear my hair natural. And the natural, Afrocentric spots are holier than thou or are filled with caricatures. I need help.
*I really don’t like a lot of Motown’s 1960s greatest hits like “My Girl.” It reminds me of cornballs who claim to like “old school” but play shit like “My Girl” because they really don’t know shit. An old classmate did this in college and I cringed.
*carry on*
-- "Music is not to be possessed; it's to be shared.” - James Mtume
"Just stay loose, keep it raw, and bang ya drums out sometimes." - Madlib
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79578 posts
Thu Nov-15-18 10:28 AM
11. "New daycare is $100 more a week" In response to Reply # 0
But it’s closer, has a live video app and we already see the improvements emotionally and education.
We were originally going to stay here until a spot opened up down the road that was cheaper but given how they are responding I think we are going to stay here.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
12. "you dont wanna scrimp on daycare" In response to Reply # 11
>But it’s closer, has a live video app and we already see >the improvements emotionally and education. > >We were originally going to stay here until a spot opened up >down the road that was cheaper but given how they are >responding I think we are going to stay here.
13. "Man, im counting down the months left of paying daycare" In response to Reply # 11
I already told my wife that I want our son to go to camp this summer. shit, after he has his 'graduation ceremony' from pre-school, that is IT... fuck that shit. Camp is cheaper
I was just talking to another parent at my son's daycare/preschool about having 2 kids in that bitch at once. He took his youngest out and they hired an au pair. Shit, they had an infant and a preschooler in there at the same time. I can only imagine. My homeboy showed me his end of year statement last year from daycare expenses... bruh..... shit is ridiculous.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79578 posts
Thu Nov-15-18 12:35 PM
14. "I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. $515 a week" In response to Reply # 13
While it almost made sense for one of us to stay home we both got better jobs so we come out ahead but just barely.
We don’t have to pay in the summer because my wife teaches and has summers off. It’s going to be wild seeing the difference in expenses over the summer.
They are trying to say our 3 year old can’t go to school at 4 because she misses the cut off even though her bday is in September. Sheeeit. We are gonna fight that shit. Lol.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
16. "damn i feel your pain" In response to Reply # 14
my daughter was 4 finishing when my son was born. For a few months, both of them were in daycare and that shit was killin our pockets. On top of that, my son was allergic to regular formula. So we were killing out 15.00 per can of Similac Alimentum and he was goign through that shit like crazy.
right now we paying 280/week for our son in daycare and 900 a month for our daughter in private school. Damn kids..
23. "Childcare in the DMV is $$$$$$. Only way around it is to go" In response to Reply # 17
in-home day care centers or live outside...waaay outside the beltway. That was for 2 kids and there was a premium for the youngest because she was infant status...now that she's 2 it's a lil bit lower...but only a lil bit....
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79578 posts
Thu Nov-15-18 03:36 PM
29. "I remember when you said you were upper middle and struggling " In response to Reply # 23
I couldn’t grasp it.
We are in Charlotte and on paper we are a 6 figure household and we are check to check due to daycare right now.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
25. "It's depressing sometimes..especially when we're classified as "upper" In response to Reply # 17
middle class" based solely off of our incomes. But when you factor in the cost of living in the DMV along with child care costs... we barely average fam.
Not to get it twisted...we are fortunate and comfortable to a degree.... But when we travel home to NC & Detroit...and cousins that make a fraction of our income are living in houses 2x the size of ours and driving luxury cars... we do feel "Some kinda way" lol...
37. "i feel you on this shit" In response to Reply # 25
we are doing pretty good in terms of income, on paper.. but shit we are living check to check our damn selves.
my boy just packed his shit up and moved to Charlotte, got a gig making about 15k more but paying less in daycare and just won a bid on a bigger crib than he had in MD for a fraction of the price.
20. "yikes.... that's 1115 a week... 3 kids?" In response to Reply # 15
if 3 or 4 kids, I can see that. My boy had 2 sons in daycare last year in an expensive ass county in MD. Dude's yearly shit was around 38K and I was like FUCK...
24. "2 kids. It's no joke around here. It's not the most expensive either..." In response to Reply # 20
it's in the top end of the range...but not by much. You can def. save a ton by going with in-home day care centers...but I just don't trust them around here. If we were still back in NC, smaller town, less people, less variables...we'd be all up on the in-home care centers. But I just couldn't get comfy with what we were seeing around here.
>if 3 or 4 kids, I can see that. >My boy had 2 sons in daycare last year in an expensive ass >county in MD. Dude's yearly shit was around 38K and I was like >FUCK... > >
27. "What really gets my goat is when the center be asking for donations " In response to Reply # 21
and "tips" and shit to help out the teachers around the holidays... I be like ... Wait a minute...where all that tuition that we paying going??? Your teachers should be straighter than a mug right now!
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
32. "It's the norm. Basically inside the beltway the majority of the establis..." In response to Reply # 30
daycare centers peep each others rates and charge accordingly. There's a very small spread and it's usually a reflection of a) how long the place has been in business b) proximity to metro stations c) child to student ratio
We had both of ours in more expensive centers when they were first born because it's crazy difficult to get infant care if you're not on the wait list at least 16 - 18 months out.
We lucked up and found a brand new center down in Alexandria for the first kid, she stayed there for 9 months and then we got a spot at the place she ended up staying in until she went to kindergarten. The 2nd kid we got lucky and found a spot at this spot in Crystal City, near the metro station so it was dumb pricey...but they stayed open ALL the time (fed. holidays, snow days, etc.) so we stuck with them 9 months until a spot opened up at the same place as her sister which was cheaper and better (which is where she currently is).
Again, I know we could see huge savings if we just went to an in-home care facility....but we just don't like the idea of dropping our kids off at someones house to play in their modified basement all day.
We also thought about doing the Au Pair thing....but something about having an 18 -23 year old living in the house with you for 2-years, and basically being another mouth to feed, didn't seem logistically feasible.
33. "This was me as a toddler. Shout-out to Ms. Murdis" In response to Reply # 32
>Again, I know we could see huge savings if we just went to an >in-home care facility....but we just don't like the idea of >dropping our kids off at someones house to play in their >modified basement all day.
Even tho I used to stay getting in trouble for something, lol.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79578 posts
Tue Nov-20-18 03:10 PM
39. "Our saving grace is summers" In response to Reply # 38
Wife gets the summers off so we get 3 months to stack a bit.
I think moving forward next year we are going to put it on a credit card and pay it off at the end of the month. The stress of making it through the month is too much.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
but then again I said the same thing before these kids.
I know we will never not have to spend a grip on these kids but crunching the numbers on what we could stash if we didn’t have daycare? Whew.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
Went back to Louisville for a high school reunion and my cousin's wedding
The reunion was wack but made the most of it aka got drunk - the wedding was awesome though.
Cousin sat me and three of my other cousins by the bar, knew everyone at the table except this random girl who didn't talk to anyone and my half-sister (who was the date of a family friend).
She didn't know I am her half-brother though and neither did my cousins I was sitting with. At LEAST that's what I think from the convo's had during the party. I wasn't going be messy to bring any of this up then, it was my cousins wedding.
My cousin's don't know I know about my bio's family (Facebook is the devil) but pretty sure a couple of my Aunt's do just based on their reactions.
I did see my bio at my Uncle's funeral two years ago for the first time ever and he left immediately when he saw me, so he knows who I am.
Other than all that undertow I had a really good time at the wedding. Really miss seeing my family and cutting up with them.
35. "I need some loud house music in my life right about now" In response to Reply # 0
I miss all of those large house clubs up in NYC back in the day. Shelter. Vinyl. Limelight. A few others I can't recall right now. HUGE dancefloors, especially Shelter. Dark. Loud. Crowded. Shelter was open 'till past the sun comes up on the weekends.
Every house venue seems so small and the bass doesn't vibrate your soul like in those big rooms.
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