1. "My mom is about to retire - I'm worried as fuck" In response to Reply # 0
Retirement is good, retirement with no plan is a recipe for death...literally
I keep asking her "what you gonna do? you gonna start a business, go to school, garden....WHAT YOU GONNA DO MOMMA?"
she keeps saying "oh, I dunno..."
You have to do something. I mean, relax, get your mind right after working for decades upon decade for the same place but then what? Speaking from experience, you can't not have a reason to get out of bed every morning, otherwise you risk destroying yourself from the inside out.
she just turned 63....elder care is around the corner. I'm not ready.
3. "Didn't you just have a kid?" In response to Reply # 1 Wed Aug-08-18 09:08 AM by flipnile
>Retirement is good, retirement with no plan is a recipe for >death...literally > >I keep asking her "what you gonna do? you gonna start a >business, go to school, garden....WHAT YOU GONNA DO MOMMA?" > >she keeps saying "oh, I dunno..."
Is it your mom's first grandkid?
My mom retired last year, and my pop a few years before her. I was worried about them, but they've started spending way more time with their grandson (only grandchild, in this case). I've barely seen my son all summer because he's been at his grandparents (who live 15 mins from me). My old room is now his room. I see my parents looking less stressed and more content than ever, and they still have real responsibilities so they are as important to the family as ever.
I'll just say that it's really, really dope to have that village.
4. "my mother in law is retiring next year" In response to Reply # 1
she has no plans either. she is single, little to no friends, no social life, she doesnt travel... hell, he doesnt even drive on the highway.
for the last 3 years or so, she's been working from home. She's cut off from everything.
She has a shitload of money stacked with no plans after retiring.
My mother, on the other hand, WANTS to retire next year, but i dont think she is in a position, financially, to do so. She is starting to have serious health issues too. My fear is that she will have to stop working and will need something to take care of her. I'm her only child, and I have a family of my own.. It bothers me thinking about it, when her health and financial issues could have been prevented.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Wed Aug-08-18 09:43 AM
6. "My in laws are both retired. " In response to Reply # 1
With 6 grandkids my MIL stays on the go. Her summers are busy as hell.
She also is really involved in the church now that she is retired. It’s a real small church, tons of gossip and infighting. It keeps her young tho, she has been kicked out a good 3 times over the years but now she is a staple and it’s dope to see her active. Reminds me of my mom.
How far away does your mom live? Would it be ok if she came to visit for a month at a time?
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
10. "we're on opposite coasts " In response to Reply # 6
but, since I've had the kid our meet ups per year has increased about 5 or 6 fold. Before I would just see them once a year, if that, now I'm seeing them every 2 months.
I think I might be alright with them coming for a long time, I know my wife could use the break since shes a working stay at home mom and a lot is spent on childcare
2. "I'm Just Sad.. It's the process.." In response to Reply # 0
I'm trying to stay busy and focused. Finally closed out most of my dad's accounts, taken care of things with the VA, and have mailed all the programs to family. I'm just dealing with the grieving process.
After running point on everything from the beginning I'm finally at a place where I don't have to do anything. The extremer pressure is gone - which I thrive under, but it's killer on my body and mind.
Anyway, I just miss my dad. I know that it's gonna me a forever thing. Hope that my Mom and Dad will see each other.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
This whole thing has given me a better pastoral heart and a greater insight into the medical industry and what families have to deal with from intake to discharge. . . Current Favorite Song: https://youtu.be/8v_KFHnPImY
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Thu Aug-09-18 11:47 AM
46. "Didn’t get a chance to let him hold his granddaughter. " In response to Reply # 34
We were going to bring her up in May but he passed in March.
He heard her voice on the phone and talked to her but didn’t get to hold her.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Thu Aug-09-18 01:12 PM
52. "My daughter is about to turn 3" In response to Reply # 48
She was 5 or 6 months when he passed. He wasn’t in good health, he was on dialysis so he couldn’t travel.
She was born early and it was right before winter so we couldn’t drive 7 hours... plus it was cold as shit in PA.
The timing was off but still, kinda wish I would’ve pushed myself to make it happen.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
53. "I understand the limited time. That was not you fault - " In response to Reply # 52
therefore you may want to release yourself from the guilt.
Your daughter would not remember the event and your dad would not want you to burden yourself with this personal weight. You didn't know that he would die. And there is no reason to shackle yourself to a myriad of should have - could have - might have possibilities that can only be met in hindsight.
I'm not trying to be preachy but guilt is a trick that will win every-time that you choose to play its game. Bro. You're a good father and that's what your dad wanted from you - to know what his hard work is paying off. So, I encourage you to free yourself from that guilt and let the love and life lessons of your father live on as you raise your children.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
36. "Bro, I'm sorry to hear that... " In response to Reply # 13
I can only imagine the pain of losing both parents so close together. I lost my mom in 96, so the no parents thing is hard. But, your wife is dealing on a different level. And you, having to see your father in his state of being can be hear wrenching. I will be praying for both of you. Please know that I'm always her to talk with you bro if you ever need an ear to vent to or just keep it real with about your current state of mind.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
Time heals. His passing becomes a part of who you are. It's a process and everybody's different. Having said that,...liftin' you up bruh, and stay strong.
It takes all kinds to make up a world, son. -My pops
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
24. "Stay strong man. And thank you for sharing your experience with us" In response to Reply # 2 Wed Aug-08-18 02:48 PM by micMajestic
>I'm trying to stay busy and focused. Finally closed out most >of my dad's accounts, taken care of things with the VA, and >have mailed all the programs to family. I'm just dealing with >the grieving process. > >After running point on everything from the beginning I'm >finally at a place where I don't have to do anything. The >extremer pressure is gone - which I thrive under, but it's >killer on my body and mind. > >Anyway, I just miss my dad. I know that it's gonna me a >forever thing. Hope that my Mom and Dad will see each other.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
28. "My Pop retired about 10 years ago, to travel Asia" In response to Reply # 2
He only comes back during major family things. All of us have an issue with his lack of presence and communication. We all imagined he likely had a new family, a feeling almost like he traded us in. Turns out he has does have a new woman--after three wives--as of the past several years. Found out last week he's moving back to the US for the year...his woman has a fellowship related to their shared profession at a University in DC. He landed last night and is staying not far from me, but far enough not to be convenient. Anyway, despite my frustration with the old man, you good Brothers dealing with loss...is making me look past my issues to appreciate what I have. I'm going to skip the office and check my Pop out tomorrow morning.
33. "Bro. Sometimes you have to meet them where they are in life" In response to Reply # 28
This is what I had to do with my dad many many years ago. Afterwards we became really good friends and we grew together as father and son. He became the father I was able to accept and appreciate. It took some time, but I learned to just accept him for who he was and love him for all that we was and was able to give.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
59. "Peace to you man..." In response to Reply # 2
You're such pests...now, what is it you want? In your depths of your ignorance, what is it you want? Well, whatever it is you want, I can't deliver because I just don't see it. - Orson Welles
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Wed Aug-08-18 09:39 AM
5. "Still no word on that other gig. It’s only been a few days " In response to Reply # 0
but I thought I would hear something by now.
I’m working on a website redesign for my gig that has no pressure which is awesome. Nowhere to go but up with this design. I love where this job is located too. I can take walks and have tons of options for lunch. When this offer comes in I have some tough decisions to make.
The wife starts full time next Thursday. She had to give up her weekly money maker evening class that paid our mortgage. She went through it but I had to remind her she is full time now and she doesn’t need to drive that far for a check.
The hackers at my gig are going to a convention in Vegas. These dudes yo. “I’m not bringing my phone or using an ATM in Vegas this weekend!!!”
My socks don’t match.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Wed Aug-08-18 02:08 PM
21. "Yup. It’s one of the perks of the gig" In response to Reply # 17
They claim to pay for any convention or certification that will make you a better employee.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
25. "godtfuckingdamnthisshit." In response to Reply # 21
I work for a billion dollar company and these heifers looked at me like a crazy escaped slave for even asking to go to a three day training event on some "yeah um...we looked and WE dont think its worth YOUR time"
"maaaan, look, the title of the course is 'How to design shit for a billion dollar company' aint that something?"
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Thu Aug-09-18 11:41 AM
44. "Haha.. I remember your complaint. " In response to Reply # 25
I haven’t found any conventions but I have my first 30/60/90 meeting and will ask to get a certificate of some sort for professional development.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
15. "I think this place has chased away most of the interesting perspectives" In response to Reply # 0
It was always interesting to have someone from a very different walk of like opine on a topic, now you can almost guess how every conversation is going to go.
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
BrooklynWHAT Member since Jun 15th 2007 85068 posts
Wed Aug-08-18 02:34 PM
22. "that's just the internet i think" In response to Reply # 15
pretty much every online community im on follows a similar line of thinking. and the folks that dont fit in usually bounce and find places where they do.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
So since I decided to get these Shatner tickets ($140 for two tickets!! smfh), I said fuck it and wanted to nerd out via some small dressup mechanism. I'm too restrained to cosplay, but I have decided to get my nails done.
Saturday I sat down with a bottle of vodka (which was gross btw, I don't know why I even try to drink) and designed what I want them to look like. I had to go out and buy colored pencils, but it was kinda fun to sit down and do. I'm pretty excited to get them done.
20. "just had a phone interview for a position I know I won't accept if offer..." In response to Reply # 0
i still feel upset in how it turned out...
Mofos called me 15 mins late The person I was scheduled to interview with was unavailable so I interviewed with his deputy Deputy said interview was gonna be laid back and she basically read from a script the first half of it and interrogated me the second half I asked how long she's been with the company and she replied 'a week'
FOH... not getting a good vibe from the job/company but i think the job exceeds my salary reqs
I head an adhoc community committee of 9 ppl and i wanted to choke the sht out of 4 of them this morning. Griping with each other, trying to change sht we already agreed on, and here comes this Johnny Come Lately MF, who just joined last week to a committee ive been running for a yr now talking about you cant be chairman until we follow robert rules of order. Nga. I wanted to walk across the table and kick that nga right in the nuts and shut his asz up. If he wasnt an older man things would have been different. But i handled it diplomatically and kept it moving. I almost wanted to quit today for real. I got enough on my plate and dont need any friction going on. If it wasnt for my best friends on the committee i probably would have BEEN gone.
And the way he said that sht like he was putting me out there pissed me off. I finally had a convo with him today about that sht and he gave me a non apology apology.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Thu Aug-09-18 07:06 AM
30. "I’m not a doctor but... time heals all wounds!" In response to Reply # 27
Your foot is swelling because it needs to heal.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Thu Aug-09-18 09:27 AM
32. "He’s walking on it when he should prolly be resting it" In response to Reply # 31
and he is compressing his injury.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
my mother's visit turned out to be the most amazing time I've ever had. one night I found myself in a state that I wanted to confess. I revealed to my mother "things" that held me hostage. I gave her my whole life. Shit she didn't know...no one knew. She cried and I cried. Then it was her turn. I learned a lot about my mother's life too. As previously communicated, our family has never been the kissing and hugging type so I am extremely grateful moment.
then we discussed her death. I told her I feared not knowing what to do. She said I would when the time comes. Then she told me two things... "Don't let me suffer" and, "before I take my last breath...transfer all my money". Then she says, "all my shit is written down" lol
I confess, when the time does come I shall mourn but I will be ok because this moment in time together...
/
"everyday I'm trying to learn how I can be less of a mess" (c) Lauryn Hill
54. "This was a good thing to read. " In response to Reply # 42
And your mom is right. Make sure you transfer all of her money before she dies and ant free and clear assets via some kind of sale to you or whomever. Also, make sure that she has Credit Life on any current car notes or credit cards.
Plus, if she can make sure your mom has LONG-TERM Care INS.
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins
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