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Lobby General Discussion topic #13266051

Subject: "What is the greatest risk/largest sacrifice you've taken/made..." Previous topic | Next topic
PG
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39415 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 10:38 AM

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"What is the greatest risk/largest sacrifice you've taken/made..."


  

          

for your own happiness?

and what do you know about living and how to do it?

or maybe just tell me what kind of mood your in... whatever you do engage me.

my mood is shight and I'm already planning to go for beerS in 7.5hrs when this workaday crap is done.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
I moved to DC in part for a woman that I was closer to in my head than
Jun 13th 2018
1
You moved for a chick that wasn't even feeling you
Jun 13th 2018
4
      I’m approaching my third year of marriage & we have a 7 month old
Jun 13th 2018
9
moved to Brooklyn with no job
Jun 13th 2018
2
You and your wife thought this was a good idea?
Jun 13th 2018
5
no Charlotte.. we moved to Kentucky from Philly
Jun 13th 2018
6
Yeah, we packed up and moved to Ft. Myers, FL in 2005
Jun 13th 2018
7
      if we didn't move to BK we probably would've bought a house
Jun 13th 2018
10
I stopped being a lawyer
Jun 13th 2018
3
Regrettably...
Jun 13th 2018
8
not to dig but didn't you renovate your house while owning a rental?
Jun 13th 2018
11
      Yep...that was me...hmmm...guess I was thinking more along the lines
Jun 13th 2018
12
           man, I think renovating is risky as hell
Jun 13th 2018
16
I’m in a mood when I don’t feel like talking...
Jun 13th 2018
13
add loud music and a strong desire for stiff drink and that me to a T
Jun 13th 2018
15
      I thought this day could only get better.
Jun 13th 2018
18
I've sacrificed A LOT of playing around when I was younger...
Jun 13th 2018
14
**removes raincoat**
Jun 13th 2018
17
2 come to mind.
Jun 13th 2018
19
I left a job that I had been doing nearly 12 years...
Jun 13th 2018
20
Probably cutting off toxic friends and relatives.
Jun 13th 2018
21

MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
16401 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 10:45 AM

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1. "I moved to DC in part for a woman that I was closer to in my head than"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I actually was. Or maybe I was and then we weren’t. In the end, that part doesn’t matter as nothing became of that situation. Like. Nothing. Maybe a date or two.
But from where we had been to where things ended up ... world of difference.

But I took that chance, I made that proximity a point when I was looking at relocating and when it didn’t work out the way that I hoped I was devestated.

I was able to move on though, knowing that there was nothing I could do going forward. That my best shot didn’t work and I’d have to learn to live with that.

And I did, and I’m better for it. Years later I still on occasions feel pangs of sadness, but sadness of acceptance, not regret. And that’s a sadness of the human existence.

-------
“There are too many things we do not wish to know about ourselves.
People are not, for example, terribly anxious to be equal
(equal, after all, to what and to whom?)
but they love the idea of being superior.”
― James Baldwin

  

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Crisco
Member since May 21st 2003
13948 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:29 AM

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4. "You moved for a chick that wasn't even feeling you"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

What were you thinking?
Couldn't ended to bad for you considering DC is full of single women.

did you at least find a new girl?

---------------------------------------
My Sig - Nig!!
Hip Hop is a perfect verse over a dope beat!!

Just a Day in the Life, Of a Playa for Life!!
My Datpiff Page
http://www.datpiff.com/JayfromJerz-and-DJ-Sat-One-The-Bee-Sides-mixtape.709908.html
http://

  

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MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
16401 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:46 AM

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9. "I’m approaching my third year of marriage & we have a 7 month old"
In response to Reply # 4
Wed Jun-13-18 11:46 AM by MEAT

  

          

I also now have a career and six years of work experience. Things worked out fine for me.

And it’s not as if I completely fabricated a relationship. We had been in and out of a thing for nearly eight/nine years. One of the things was distance. When I was in San Antonio she was at school in Austin. When I was in Houston she was in San Antonio. When she was in DC I was back in San Antonio. We’d talked about being in the same spot, we’d talked about a lot of things, hell I stayed with her when I interviewed up here.

I guess things changed when it became real. *shrugs*

-------
“There are too many things we do not wish to know about ourselves.
People are not, for example, terribly anxious to be equal
(equal, after all, to what and to whom?)
but they love the idea of being superior.”
― James Baldwin

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
55650 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:17 AM

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2. "moved to Brooklyn with no job"
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jun-13-18 11:36 AM by legsdiamond

          

right before the 2008 collapse too

I had a full time gig telecommuting but the wife had nothing...

we walked away from 2 full time gigs with benefits... but it was in rural Kentucky. After 3 years we had to get gone.

Probably should've secured a full time gig or maybe picked another city that was less forgiving when it came to rent.

shut up already, damn

  

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Crisco
Member since May 21st 2003
13948 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:30 AM

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5. "You and your wife thought this was a good idea?"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

Brooklyn from Kentucky
The standard of living is like night and day.
Are you back in Kentucky?

---------------------------------------
My Sig - Nig!!
Hip Hop is a perfect verse over a dope beat!!

Just a Day in the Life, Of a Playa for Life!!
My Datpiff Page
http://www.datpiff.com/JayfromJerz-and-DJ-Sat-One-The-Bee-Sides-mixtape.709908.html
http://

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
55650 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:35 AM

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6. "no Charlotte.. we moved to Kentucky from Philly"
In response to Reply # 5
Wed Jun-13-18 11:37 AM by legsdiamond

          

and we saved up a ton of cash..

wasn't like we had 5K and a dream. We had 30K and a plan.

but we didn't plan on the marking crashing in 2008. Who plans for that?

we were much younger and had no kids. We took a chance.

shut up already, damn

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
20809 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:42 AM

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7. "Yeah, we packed up and moved to Ft. Myers, FL in 2005"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          


It was way too slow there so we moved up to Tampa in 2007. Same as you, we got here right when the recession hit. And to top it all off, I was working for one of the big banks at the time.

But 13 years later, we're still here and on a come up.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
55650 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:51 AM

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10. "if we didn't move to BK we probably would've bought a house"
In response to Reply # 7


          

not in rural KY but probably in a smaller city and we may have got screwed by the market collapse.

We ended up in Charlotte and we were able to buy a house 3 years after moving here.

We had no idea Charlotte real estate was about to blow up.

Everything happens for a reason.

shut up already, damn

  

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afrogirl_lost
Member since May 22nd 2012
2844 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:23 AM

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3. "I stopped being a lawyer "
In response to Reply # 0


          

I was working really long hours on cases that weren't important to me. I quit and went back to school and became a professor instead. It wasn't easy and I took a major cut in pay and lifestyle, but I'm much happier and I'm doing important work.

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
39567 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:45 AM

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8. "Regrettably..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I've led a pretty calculated & planned out life.
I'm risk averse



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
55650 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:52 AM

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11. "not to dig but didn't you renovate your house while owning a rental?"
In response to Reply # 8


          

I think it was you

that's risky as hell IMO.

shut up already, damn

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
39567 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:55 AM

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12. "Yep...that was me...hmmm...guess I was thinking more along the lines"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

of life changing type stuff?

>I think it was you
>
>that's risky as hell IMO.

It was...but it was planned out and calculated to a degree as well. Like...we knew if shit hit the fan...we could just dead the whole ordeal.
But I guess I should reassess some of the things that I thought were calculated and I just ignored the risks?



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
55650 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 12:29 PM

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16. "man, I think renovating is risky as hell"
In response to Reply # 12


          

maybe it's the HGTV shows but always seems like some unknown expense comes up

shut up already, damn

  

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Trinity444
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39115 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:55 AM

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13. "I’m in a mood when I don’t feel like talking..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

doing a whole lot of thinking. I’ve closed myself off to everyone.
/

A good thing tho. i ran into an old friend from back home while picking up a package from the office of the apartment complex I live in. She lives in the building next to mines. Her and I went to high school together, she taught me how to sew and was the first teenage mother I saw breastfeed. I’m going to invite her over for wine as soo as I’m out of this funk lol

  

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PG
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39415 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 12:24 PM

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15. "add loud music and a strong desire for stiff drink and that me to a T"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

right now.

  

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PG
Charter member
39415 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 02:38 PM

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18. "I thought this day could only get better."
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

https://media.giphy.com/media/BvLBKDhHSZdAY/giphy.gif

  

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flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
9845 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:56 AM

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14. "I've sacrificed A LOT of playing around when I was younger..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

...for stability, resources and time to play now that I'm older. Bars/clubs, random social events, TV, etc. I was a fri/sat night guy for a while in my early 20s, but cut all that out early. A lot of weekend nights spent designing, coding or reading. It worked out.

  

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
40577 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 01:03 PM

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17. "**removes raincoat** "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

lol

=======================================
Coolin...

  

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tariqhu
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Wed Jun-13-18 03:16 PM

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19. "2 come to mind."
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jun-13-18 03:17 PM by tariqhu

          

when I got into the Air Force and found it wasn't for me. had to figure out how to get out. could've been court martialed(sp). luckily, cooler heads prevailed and I was able to leave. right back home to work at Mcdonalds's.

2nd time was taking a software consultant job. risky because there was a 6 week boot camp and you could be voted out friday of each week. out as in no job, see ya. I was able to stay on the island for 5 yrs. best decision ever.

nah, you trippin

  

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Dstl1
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Wed Jun-13-18 03:42 PM

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20. "I left a job that I had been doing nearly 12 years..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

where I worked with less than 5 people total to go to a corporate-ish job at a company I'd never heard of, complete with all the trappings of working with nearly 100 people in my department. Three and a half years later...it's one of the best moves I've ever made.

...private when I fly, ball out like Bron do. You in the game, but you sit n' coach like Tyronn Lue - Royce

  

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Cold Truth
Member since Jan 28th 2004
39670 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 05:23 PM

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21. "Probably cutting off toxic friends and relatives. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Because, despite the reasons behind those moves being valid and justified, my natural inclination is to continue to try to repair/reconcile/revisit.

It's perhaps the one area where I possess a high level of discipline.

The desire to reach out is strong with so many of them. The ability/strength to do this likely comes from my children, because it wasn't until after I had my daughter that I was able to do it with any longevity.

In a sense, that cycle of disappointment that comes from those relationships is something of an addiction. I know the inevitable result, I know that what I hope for and envision is more than they are capable and/or willing to give, but the emotional high that comes in the moment I make contact sometimes feels worth the comedown.

But I don't do it, because I know what that does to me, and how much consistently happier I am when I keep that distance far and wide.

It's also because I understand exactly how that cycle feeds this innate cynicism that I hold toward practically everything, and my kids will eventually reach an age where they can observe that cynicism in action.

  

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