1. "I moved to DC in part for a woman that I was closer to in my head than" In response to Reply # 0
I actually was. Or maybe I was and then we weren’t. In the end, that part doesn’t matter as nothing became of that situation. Like. Nothing. Maybe a date or two. But from where we had been to where things ended up ... world of difference.
But I took that chance, I made that proximity a point when I was looking at relocating and when it didn’t work out the way that I hoped I was devestated.
I was able to move on though, knowing that there was nothing I could do going forward. That my best shot didn’t work and I’d have to learn to live with that.
And I did, and I’m better for it. Years later I still on occasions feel pangs of sadness, but sadness of acceptance, not regret. And that’s a sadness of the human existence.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
9. "I’m approaching my third year of marriage & we have a 7 month old" In response to Reply # 4 Wed Jun-13-18 11:46 AM by MEAT
I also now have a career and six years of work experience. Things worked out fine for me.
And it’s not as if I completely fabricated a relationship. We had been in and out of a thing for nearly eight/nine years. One of the things was distance. When I was in San Antonio she was at school in Austin. When I was in Houston she was in San Antonio. When she was in DC I was back in San Antonio. We’d talked about being in the same spot, we’d talked about a lot of things, hell I stayed with her when I interviewed up here.
I guess things changed when it became real. *shrugs*
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:17 AM
2. "moved to Brooklyn with no job" In response to Reply # 0 Wed Jun-13-18 11:36 AM by legsdiamond
right before the 2008 collapse too
I had a full time gig telecommuting but the wife had nothing...
we walked away from 2 full time gigs with benefits... but it was in rural Kentucky. After 3 years we had to get gone.
Probably should've secured a full time gig or maybe picked another city that was less forgiving when it came to rent.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:35 AM
6. "no Charlotte.. we moved to Kentucky from Philly" In response to Reply # 5 Wed Jun-13-18 11:37 AM by legsdiamond
and we saved up a ton of cash..
wasn't like we had 5K and a dream. We had 30K and a plan.
but we didn't plan on the marking crashing in 2008. Who plans for that?
we were much younger and had no kids. We took a chance.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
7. "Yeah, we packed up and moved to Ft. Myers, FL in 2005" In response to Reply # 2
It was way too slow there so we moved up to Tampa in 2007. Same as you, we got here right when the recession hit. And to top it all off, I was working for one of the big banks at the time.
But 13 years later, we're still here and on a come up.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:51 AM
10. "if we didn't move to BK we probably would've bought a house" In response to Reply # 7
not in rural KY but probably in a smaller city and we may have got screwed by the market collapse.
We ended up in Charlotte and we were able to buy a house 3 years after moving here.
We had no idea Charlotte real estate was about to blow up.
Everything happens for a reason.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
3. "I stopped being a lawyer " In response to Reply # 0
I was working really long hours on cases that weren't important to me. I quit and went back to school and became a professor instead. It wasn't easy and I took a major cut in pay and lifestyle, but I'm much happier and I'm doing important work.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 11:52 AM
11. "not to dig but didn't you renovate your house while owning a rental?" In response to Reply # 8
I think it was you
that's risky as hell IMO.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
12. "Yep...that was me...hmmm...guess I was thinking more along the lines" In response to Reply # 11
of life changing type stuff?
>I think it was you > >that's risky as hell IMO.
It was...but it was planned out and calculated to a degree as well. Like...we knew if shit hit the fan...we could just dead the whole ordeal. But I guess I should reassess some of the things that I thought were calculated and I just ignored the risks?
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-13-18 12:29 PM
16. "man, I think renovating is risky as hell" In response to Reply # 12
maybe it's the HGTV shows but always seems like some unknown expense comes up
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
13. "I’m in a mood when I don’t feel like talking..." In response to Reply # 0
doing a whole lot of thinking. I’ve closed myself off to everyone. /
A good thing tho. i ran into an old friend from back home while picking up a package from the office of the apartment complex I live in. She lives in the building next to mines. Her and I went to high school together, she taught me how to sew and was the first teenage mother I saw breastfeed. I’m going to invite her over for wine as soo as I’m out of this funk lol
14. "I've sacrificed A LOT of playing around when I was younger..." In response to Reply # 0
...for stability, resources and time to play now that I'm older. Bars/clubs, random social events, TV, etc. I was a fri/sat night guy for a while in my early 20s, but cut all that out early. A lot of weekend nights spent designing, coding or reading. It worked out.
19. "2 come to mind." In response to Reply # 0 Wed Jun-13-18 03:17 PM by tariqhu
when I got into the Air Force and found it wasn't for me. had to figure out how to get out. could've been court martialed(sp). luckily, cooler heads prevailed and I was able to leave. right back home to work at Mcdonalds's.
2nd time was taking a software consultant job. risky because there was a 6 week boot camp and you could be voted out friday of each week. out as in no job, see ya. I was able to stay on the island for 5 yrs. best decision ever.
20. "I left a job that I had been doing nearly 12 years..." In response to Reply # 0
where I worked with less than 5 people total to go to a corporate-ish job at a company I'd never heard of, complete with all the trappings of working with nearly 100 people in my department. Three and a half years later...it's one of the best moves I've ever made.
...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft
21. "Probably cutting off toxic friends and relatives. " In response to Reply # 0
Because, despite the reasons behind those moves being valid and justified, my natural inclination is to continue to try to repair/reconcile/revisit.
It's perhaps the one area where I possess a high level of discipline.
The desire to reach out is strong with so many of them. The ability/strength to do this likely comes from my children, because it wasn't until after I had my daughter that I was able to do it with any longevity.
In a sense, that cycle of disappointment that comes from those relationships is something of an addiction. I know the inevitable result, I know that what I hope for and envision is more than they are capable and/or willing to give, but the emotional high that comes in the moment I make contact sometimes feels worth the comedown.
But I don't do it, because I know what that does to me, and how much consistently happier I am when I keep that distance far and wide.
It's also because I understand exactly how that cycle feeds this innate cynicism that I hold toward practically everything, and my kids will eventually reach an age where they can observe that cynicism in action.
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