“My grandmother taught me about self-pleasuring because she wanted me to know that that pleasure was from me,” she said. “She didn’t want me to fall into the hands of a man and if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him. She taught me at 9! At 9!” - Jada Pinket Smith



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

that's not something you film and let us know about Jada

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Got to learn somehow.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

seems a lil early, but eh.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

never.

to teach about that stuff.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

1. your nine year old daughter says "daddy, what is masturbation?" what is your response?

2. you walk into your nine year old daughter's room, and she jumps up from the bed suddenly...you ask why and she says she was touching herself and she's sorry and starts crying. what is your response?

d

>1. your nine year old daughter says "daddy, what is
>masturbation?" what is your response?

I answer the question at the level I think she can understand.

>
>2. you walk into your nine year old daughter's room, and she
>jumps up from the bed suddenly...you ask why and she says she
>was touching herself and she's sorry and starts crying. what
>is your response?
>

let her know there's nothing to be ashamed up and that's her body. although, I might need her to go to sleep depending on the time.


I'm not afraid to talk about sex with a child. I have a son and daughter. I bought her an anatomy book when she was maybe 5-6. she'd ask questions. I answer them.

when my daughter younger was and would ride in the grocery cart, she'd slide herself forward. at first, I stopped her because I didn't know what she was doing. once I figured it out, I laff and never stopped her again.

we've had numerous convos about her being in control of her body whether it's by herself or otherwise. never told her that any of that was wrong or bad. it's your body shawty. have fun.

she's 14 now and about to enter high school. we'll see how this goes. lol. she's confident in herself and comfy with her rail thin body. she'll be fine.

meanwhile, my 9 yr old son laffs whenever he hears somebody say balls.

a lot folks have to realize that 'protecting' the kids from sex isn't always the best route to take. especially with girls. it continues the double standard between men and women.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I don't think I'll be descending to that level of negativity to make any sort of comeback tho.

.
.
Current Favorite Song: https://youtu.be/8v_KFHnPImY

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

“So back we go to these questions — friendship, character… ethics.”

They got some talent. But they're strange as hell.

but they are all weird.

“So back we go to these questions — friendship, character… ethics.”

think of all the 'mistakes' that working black folk can't 'afford' to make

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

Don’t get me wrong, we prolly all heard wild shit from an old head or an uncle at a young age...

but most of us didn’t repeat like it was gems.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

there was so much mystery surrounding sex/adulthood/parenting when I was younger, and I think I'm more open with my children for that reason.

I'd rather you KNOW from ME than to hear some BULLSHIT on the street.

I'm sure my MIL told my stepdaughter some heavy $hit.

If ever some slick-talking 'Charles'-ass dude tryna run game, on some 'dont you like the way I make you feel, baby?' that young lady will know that she can create that feeling within herself....

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

particularly for girls and women

it needs to be demystified. sex is a normal part of life and conversations about it should start as young as possible and be as normal as convos about pee, poop, eating...everything else that is germane to human existence

folks are so steeped in puritanical thinking that they can't see this.

d

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

BRUH you joined this precisely because you're weird AF

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

It's not like she was doing it TO her granddaughter.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

and I think it’s inappropriate and reckless to tell folks this shit today.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

but my brother is 2.5 years older than me and was starting HS at the time, so we got the talk

The follow up question for Jada is...did you teach that to Willow...?

I know girls mature faster, but 9Y.O., you're in like 3rd grade

Getting a kiss was top of the list...

who's thinking about fucking in elementary school?

and is it even pleasureable at that age, having not gone through puberty yet?

weird.

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

I was in 4th grade the first time I remember a girl in my class getting breasts. And I don't think it's a bad thing to at least know the basics a year or two before it's going to start. Like, I don't know a single woman around my age (34) that learned about that in a "good" way. It was all either on accident or the internet or if they were lucky an older/more experienced friend. It's not really a thing that got talked about the way it's talked about for boys. Then you wonder how women get to be in their 20's without knowing that sex is a thing they're supposed to actually enjoy, too.

Not saying I would've wanted to hear about this from a grandparent necessarily, but I'm not sure why this is so scandalous to people.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

but telling a 4th grader how to squeeze them while pleasuring themselves isn't a good look

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

it's the heavy religious based shaming and mystification of sex that begins at a very young. Take that away is the answer IMO....

Nobody really needs to be TAUGHT how to do something that's as natural as enjoying any other thing that our human brains translate to pleasure.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

But we don't, so they do.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

I guess it's easy to take the bait in the OP without any context

it does make it sound like Granny was giving a tutorial

if what she meant was, she got the sex talk from granny when she was 9, and said talk covered masturbation...ehh, that's not that far out IMO

the OP as presented leaves so many questions on the table, which makes the whole post problematic

appreciate the insight though.

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

But my reaction on hearing a kid knows what masturbation is isn't to yell "LOCK HER UP CHILD MOLESTOR" either.

Like, people still defend R Kelly on here but THIS is where they draw the line?

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13257459&mesg_id=13257459&page=5#13258323

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

that's pointing out Spotify's move was a slippery slope that opened a huge can of worms they weren't ready to address given the industry they are in...

and they backed off for obvious reasons

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

If you need nuance and "let's not get ahead of ourselves" with R Kelly but are immediately willing to call this woman a child molester, that's something.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

consider being an advocate for.
Logistics of even HOW to do that aside....
Just seems like more attempts to normalize what is likely "mild" child molestation at best....
But y'all gone and let Jada Pinket Smith cook doe....

cause a lot of that shit will have you sounding skeevy as hell.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>Just seems like more attempts to normalize what is likely
>"mild" child molestation at best....

Why does your mind immediately go to "her grandma was touching her?" Is there anything actually suggesting this? Or is it just projection on your part? Seriously, I've only heard this story form this post, so if there's information I'm missing, let me know.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

they were pleasuring themselves because granny told how to do it...

and they reported it?

That word would probably come

I wouldn't use the word but sexual pleasure and 9 year old shouldn't be in the same sentence IMO. It sound right to me and that's why I think its a bad idea.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>>Just seems like more attempts to normalize what is likely
>>"mild" child molestation at best....
>
>Why does your mind immediately go to "her grandma was touching
>her?" Is there anything actually suggesting this? Or is it
>just projection on your part? Seriously, I've only heard this
>story form this post, so if there's information I'm missing,
>let me know.

Do the math.....
Jada is in her 40's right?
Which means she was 9 years old in the 80's...
Think of ALLLLLlllllll the things that were common place and considered ok parenting techniques in the 80's that are now proven to very much be the OPPOSITE of good parenting....
What is the likelyhood that teaching a 9 year old how to pleasure themselves was done in a way that anybody in 2018 with sound mind would clap to?

I'm being realistic here...
Am I reaching? Perhaps....but not much i'm sure.

I call it like I see it.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>Think of ALLLLLlllllll the things that were common place and
>considered ok parenting techniques in the 80's that are now
>proven to very much be the OPPOSITE of good parenting....
>What is the likelyhood that teaching a 9 year old how to
>pleasure themselves was done in a way that anybody in 2018
>with sound mind would clap to?

Like, what are these techniques that were common in the 80's that are now bad? Was teaching your kid about masturbating one of them?

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

those things are crimes now

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Because the "spare the rod, spoil the child" parents generally weren't telling their kids about masturbating. It seems like a completely unrelated thing.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

"her grandma was touching her?"

Those are some of the reasons why.
I'm in my 40's
I'm a parent
Retrospect is a muthafcka....


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

might not be cool now.

so Fluid thinks this falls under that umbrella of shit you don't say in public in 2018.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Letting kids run around the neighborhood all willy nilly,
shit..I could go on...but no need to really


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

I don't know what exactly her grandma said to her and of course there are inappropriate ways to talk to kids about this. I'm sure plenty of parents have probably warped their kids trying to be open with them before they were ready.

But it doesn't appear that this was the case here. This was clearly a positive thing for Jada growing up. Yeah it's weird that it came from her grandma of all people, but how many people are telling girls of any age that this was something they could do?

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

what would make me jump to that conclusion....

My response is that I know first hand that a LOT of what I personally learned from adults in the 1980's was taught to me COMPLETELY wrong. The way me and the majority of my peers were parented, exposed to things, disciplined, etc. have been proved to be absolutely the WRONG way to do things.

With all of that in mind, that's immediately where my mind went upon hearing that statement from someone that's in my age bracket.

Just was answering your question about the reason I went there from jump...

My granny was a stand up woman for sure....
But my granny also taught me how to do snuff *shrugs* so I wouldn't smoke refer since it was illegal...
My daddy showed me how to smoke cigs *shrugs* so that I wouldn't be tempted to smoke crack...
It was the 80's...shit was just "different"...good intentions...wrong technique.
I don't share that stuff to glorify it and make it sound profound and wise....
I just can't think of a way that Jada was taught in a way that would be considered appropriate (or legal for that matter) in the 80's.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

(and I definitely remember some of the "well these are the ultra light cigs, they're not that bad" stuff from back then.)

But I've got no reason to think her grandma was touching her based on an anecdote about her teaching Jada about pleasure and I tihnk that was a really big jump to take.

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

you talking about flipniles post?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

cause my Lena joke?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

Her words say nothing about granny giving her a tutorial.

What I'm reading is a granny that wanted Jada to avoid some of the baggage most women of previous generations carry.

I can sorta see how you might think "how to" but, in practice, most people figure out how to masturbate on their own even though nobody (used to) admit that they were doing it at all.

And if you think of the context of that video, it fits in perfectly with baggage that Jada's mother felt she was saddled with most of her life surrounding sex and masturbation.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

offer some clarification...
because these sound bites are loaded with potential problems...

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>offer some clarification...
>because these sound bites are loaded with potential
>problems...
>
>"Get ready....for your blessing....."


And this kind of thing is why people don't have frank discussion on important topics anymore.

It's hard to think of all the different ways your words might be interpreted so alot of people just don't say anything because they don't want to have to defend themselves against all the different hot takes.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

been passively dishing out over the past few days/weeks.

>>offer some clarification...
>>because these sound bites are loaded with potential
>>problems...
>>
>>"Get ready....for your blessing....."
>
>
>And this kind of thing is why people don't have frank
>discussion on important topics anymore.
>It's hard to think of all the different ways your words might
>be interpreted so alot of people just don't say anything
>because they don't want to have to defend themselves against
>all the different hot takes.

Celebrities have responsibilities though. This isn't something she just said off the cuff during a random drive-by interview. This is a pre planned topic that she discussed in depth on her new "talk show". She's very much trying to sell her version of parenting on the masses via this platform. She has a responsibility to do it in a fashion that presents all sides of the equation.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

her version of parenting. the topics are pre-planned, but the discussions seem free form.

to me, the only thing agenda she's pushing is to have open communication about a variety of topics.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

that's what I think he means by selling it

I think when folks go public with their parenting styles like this it's because they want to have a teachable moment.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Modern sexy progressive mom or something.
Which I ain't mad at...



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I just don't think she's trying to push the agenda of this is 'how I did it, so this is how yall should do it'.

seems more like opening herself up with the good and the bad.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

Viagra pills and his little winkie wouldnt go down? I see how it is...

this is real.
she said it with her own mouth.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jada-pinkett-smith-willow-smith-orgasms_us_5b1fbf8be4b0adfb826de106

if we want Black people on the cover of white magazines

You let these folks make big money and then they get real bold with their ideas.

I'm not a fan of her parenting style but then again, most hollywood parents are too progressive and weird for my taste

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

please enlighten us with your progressive sexual wisdom.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

conversations about sex and owning your body and self-pleasure (which is also NON SEXUAL) should begin when kids are toddlers...or whenever you start talking to your kids about other normal life things like pee and poo etc

because most people equate sex and sexuality with "fucking" and carnal pleasure and porn, its difficult for you to conceive of the fact that the subject is BROAD.

first and foremost, conversations about sex with kids should start from a place of teaching them about consent and about knowing/understanding their own self, what pleases them mentally, emotionally and physically. Being safe etc...how emotions play into it

its never too young for any of that. Jada didn't say her grandma showed her porn or touched her...and anyone who's jumping to that is juvenile

disagreement that's at hand and it can be discussed maturely and civilly.
Not directed towards just you Damali...

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

mods know...

we good.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

y'all work that shit out lol...


"Get ready....for your blessing....."