this guy doesn't even work in my city, but he's on a lot of our calls. start with he talks too much. is corny. never lets a call end early.

on one call, he said we've got 30 seconds left. anybody have anything to discuss? I hung up. just cut the call. we have enough information.

he also doesn't answer questions well. doesn't like to admin not knowing something. will side track the convo to something he knows better.

as part of his talking, he calls my name 1000 times on every call. today, before we reached 30 mins on this hour call, he said my name 6 times. I didn't respond either time.

sad part is that we need him lol. he knows so much about the product and can be very helpful. he just needs to be managed to stay on task and not make things confusing.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

she'll come over and talk for 3 or 4 minutes to finally get to a point she coulda made in 30 seconds.

what is started doing is asking her "what is your question" as soon as she launches into a story. what's the question? let's skip the ride and get to the end. tell me the ultimate question and then i'll ask probing question if i need to. and those will be closed-ended questions so you won't have the chance to talk my ear off.

this the same mofo that i had to tell to stop sending me emails and then walking over and telling me everything that's in the email. stop wasting my time, i can read.






***
I ain't lyin. This shit i'm making up is true...

sends an email and goes to someone's desk to see if they got it. and he's loud as hell. doesn't know how to manage. everything is a fire with him. I'm so glad I don't report to him.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

ain't no need to check



***
I ain't lyin. This shit i'm making up is true...

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

>what is started doing is asking her "what is your question" as
>soon as she launches into a story. what's the question?

I would be pissed if you did this to me but I totally get it

but I think its bc its so damn quiet in this bitch that she just wants to talk. I get it.

she will ask about my weekend and then talk for 30 mins about her weekend plans and shit.

she used to be important here when i started about 4 years ago and she loved to make sure everyone knew it. whenever she landed a new account it was such a big show and everyone just rolled their eyes at her.

now she's been summarily kicked down to the bottom of the totem pole in performance in our department. mgmt couldnt care less about her. i think they purposely go out of their way to make a show about not acknowledging her existence.

so now she's taken to
- throwing any and everyone under the bus at every opportunity. 80% of what she says about people is a lie
- getting involved in every little situation that pops up when she should be doing her own work.
- making her assistant (who used to be my assistant. she's amazing. the best. but i got passed off to one of the new assistants because im the easiest to work with) cry on a regular basis. and then attempting to run her down to anyone who will listen even though everyone fucking knows she's lying. this actually pisses me off the most.
- asking stupid ass questions in meetings just to keep us all trapped in there because "its the only way she can get anyone to listen to her"

its really sad that a 46 year old woman is on some catty mean girl high school shit. i feel bad for her that this is her life.

<--- Big Baller World Order

seems like age has little to do with these terrible habits. you'd think folks would take cues from others on how to do things better, but nope. they just continue doing dumb stuff.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

then she switched sides and started running me down too once she realized i was easily outperforming her.

<--- Big Baller World Order

They moved him to a desk further from me, and I can still hear him banging on his keys. Seriously, if *anyone* else started typing like he does, people would start asking "you okay?"

Also, there are a grip of people here that do not fuck with me. No eye contact (ever), frowns, looking away, etc.

thankfully its an an area where no one can hear me

people who ice grill you at work are weird as shit.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

my wife hates my fucking guts lol

it didnt help when i told her reds are the quietest mx switches

>Also, there are a grip of people here that do not fuck with
>me. No eye contact (ever), frowns, looking away, etc.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I mean never ever fucking speaks. rude ass bastard.

PM on my business team has an MBA and bunch of certifications. she types with her index fingers only. like, how?

No home row, mostly index with some middle finger and every once in a while the ring finger.

When people see me type, they're both amazed and appalled at my WPM (6 WPM with 0 errors just now in a typing test for the fuck of it) and my recklessness on the keys lol.

~~~~~~~~~
"This is the streets, and I am the trap." � Jay Bilas
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/archive/contributor/517
Hip Hop Handbook: http://tinyurl.com/ll4kzz

i didnt realize it but we had a bunch of new people start and they said it sounds like im jamming my fingers thru the keyboard.

<--- Big Baller World Order

dude at my job is cool but gets mad about dumb shit and then stomps around like he is going to kick ass

then we have the woman who always throws people under the bus when talking to clients and will include you in the email on some "yeah I said it"

case in point. She forgets about a job so the client sends an email like"what's going on? haven't heard from you guys"

so sends an email saying "graphics are slammed on other projects but we will get to you as soon as he finished"

meanwhile I never heard a word about this job.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

My team is 75% women, so everyday here he come..

------

<--- Big Baller World Order

.

=======================================
Coolin...

bonus points if he wears the pointy long shoes.

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

a black lady on my team
she asked how many can goods was I bringing in for the food drive
I told her none....I didnt have any
she goes, would you like me to pick you up some
when I told her nah
she looked at me in disgust...

I found her question inappropriate because it’s one of those things that’s of a personal nature. Also, they still have can goods from the summer still sitting in the break room.

I said none of that tho...

or food for you to donate to the drive?

and why folks gotta ask you if you are donating to some shit if you already know about it?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

why she trying to clown you?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

that'd be my guess, anyways. haha

last week we had a catered luncheon of all thanksgiving food.
I didn’t participate and eat my leftovers
when someone ask why I didn’t want any food
I explained that I can’t eat thanksgiving food prior to thanksgiving because it would ruin it for me...

I am who I am
Few can handle this work

Started in the Spring with two other new hires


* Mouth breather
* Inappropriate personal convo's on blue-tooth
* Interrupts when you are trying to teach them or explain something
* Dresses like they are in their 20's at the club when they are actually 50 and in the office
* Has the white people in the office shook (which is actually kind funny and not a negative at this point)

_______________________
We rationalize dumb shit

so i work in a call center


the second she would clock out for break shed be on that BT(that stayed in her ear the whole despite that being against policy) talking


all the way to the bathroom(or breakroom) into the bathroom talking, other women tell me she will have an entire conversation in the bathroom on the toilet, and come out of the bathroom talking all the way back to her desk


and she has those convos the lady in exact does

WELL SUCH AND SUCH SAID THIS AND I SAID THAT THEN HE DIDNT DO THIS SO IM NOT GONNA DO THIS IF SUCH AND SUCH AINT GONNA DO THAT...

What did he do to make them all shook?

Repeating the things he said, things he should have said, his thoughts on what other people said, etc.

_______________________________________

and waits for me to respond to say anything else. JUST ASK THE FUCKING QUESTION. I got shit to do, get to the point. Can you imagine if someone did this with email? She also will @ mention me on something which sends me an email notification, and then while I'm opening the email she will message me asking if I got a chance to look at that thing.

There's also this lady who just loves to hear herself talk. I think everyone in the room uses all their might to keep their eyes from rolling back in their head as she blabbers on. We get it, you're very impressive.

-------------------------------------------------
http://www.soundcloud.com/sectachrome

i think that motherfucker got on my bad side when, a couple years ago, I was printed shit for my wife's baby shower off the printer.

this motherfucker went to the restroom, came back and grabbed my shit off the printer and said 'you're printing a lot of stuff aren't you?"

MOTHERFUCKER did you send some shit to the printer? I don't think so. mind your fucking business.

This is the same motherfucker that RETIRED. We treated his dumb ass to Chipotle as a going away thing bc that's the only fast food he ate. Motherfucker was packing his shit up and moving back to Utah.

Three weeks later, I come to work and walk past his cubicle and he was BACK AT WORK as if he never left. I mean, pictures and shit back on the cubicle walls. Books back on the shelves. WTF yo.

he's annoying. Me and this Jamaican oldhead would be having conversations and he would interrupt and talk to the Jamaican about the elections and shit.

>this motherfucker went to the restroom, came back and grabbed
>my shit off the printer and said 'you're printing a lot of
>stuff aren't you?"
>
>MOTHERFUCKER did you send some shit to the printer? I don't
>think so. mind your fucking business.


- The fuck was he randomly looking at people's stuff on the printer for?
- The fuck is he READING all through everybody's shit?
- The fuck is he blurting out what you're printing?

the motherfucker knew he didn't print shit.

he walked past the printer on his way to his desk and just grab my shit.

also, when I first started growing my beard out, the motherfucker had the nerve to say to me one day 'it's getting bushier isn't it?". Bitch shut your latter day saints ass up.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

word on the street is that he left thinking he was gonna get full retirement benefits (this the fed govt) or some shit. his ends weren't meeting so he came back.



Every two years, this agency has a big ass conference and its mandatory for all govt employees here to attend. he was the ONLY person in the entire agency that didn't go.

Jamaican nigga asked him why he didn't go and this motherfucker said 'my supervisor didn't approve it'. BULLSHIT. that shit was MANDATORY. The admin dude that made everyones travel arrangements for the shit said he just didn't put his travel orders in. SMH.


yo, I count endless stories.

This motherfucker slipped and fucked his leg up at Headquarters one day. Mind you, headquarters is Northern VA, which is like 100 miles from his home. AND he never drives to HQ for meetings, he takes the train to the bus. SMH. So, they had to send this motherfucker home via taxi cab.

why you heating up fish-head stew at work?

why do you burn the popcorn EVERY TIME YOU MAKE IT?

why you got shit sizzling and popping and splashing all over the inside cuz the thought of covering your food never crossed your rabbit-ass mind?

Mofos talking about "something smells good!" Nah, yo.

I've told this one before, but when I first started there was this older black lady (who's somewhat loopy) that was FRYING bacon in the toaster over. On one of those little trays that go on top of the rack. Frying, with a spatula and everything right in our little break room. Whole room smelling like bacon. At work. Someone took away the toaster oven shortly afterwards.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

lol @ frying bacon in the toaster oven though

-------------------------------------------------
http://www.soundcloud.com/sectachrome

no matter the convo she interjects...

she will say some loud and wrong shit and when corrected she just says YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I MEANT

No bitch, you said the exact opposite.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

already knew one dude that never washes, but discovered another.

a guy was in the stall before I went into the bathroom. I just needed tissue, so my visit was gonna be short. I finish cleaning my nose and head to the sink.

stall guy comes out as I'm at the sink. the sink is kinda low and I'm leaning and washing. he dips right out. I think he was trying no to be seen cuz it was so quick.

so I hurried to dry my hands and caught a glimpse of him. its a guy that works near me. I've borrowed a pen from him. I was pissed.........but he was shitted since he didn't wash. bastid!

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I've seen this motherfucker come out of the stall after taking a shit, and not wash his hands.


also, that nigga will come to my cube to talk about something and will be looking at my damn computer screen the entire time. One day the mother fucker read one of my emails.

since then, when he comes by, I purposely close all my shit out before turning around to talk to him.

One day he was walking from the printer and walked past my cubicle (behind me). From the reflection of my computer screen I saw him on his tippy toes peeking over my cube as to see what I was doing. SMH.

he's the reason why a couple people here have mirrors on their desks. No bullshit.

the hell kinda barn were you raised in where not flushing the toilet was a thing?



***
I ain't lyin. This shit i'm making up is true...

When I handle my business, I see people in between the cracks and make note of who washes.

I work the first shift and am usually the first person in the restroom, but someone from the night shift leaves the toilet fucking destroyed.

Literally shit on the seat, piss, toilet paper, etc...it's the worst...until the cleaning lady had enough and posted this:

https://imgur.com/a/Z2XSv

_____________________________________
No need to get my mental status cold stressin

Two different spots.

I worked with a nigga that told us every 2 weeks that his daughter was accepted into Pharmacy school. Yeah nigga, WE KNOW, we went to her graduation party that you threw for her. lol.

he's also the 'repeat the same joke' Guy too.

___________

Back again for the first time.

muthafucka, why is it so hard for you to aim in the urinal?

Used to irk the shit out of me. Like, how savage do you gotta be to just leave water running?

>Used to irk the shit out of me. Like, how savage do you gotta
>be to just leave water running?

same here.

speaking of faucets, the dudes who "wash" their hands by turning the water on/off in like .02 seconds. no soap. nothing. just a quick splash.

seen dudes do it after doing #2 in the stall too. just gross.

that's why i ALWAYS use a paper towel to grab the doorknob.

emails. every single fucking email.
every gotdamn line. She would want help writing that shit.
"What do you think of this?" "How does this sound?"

damn bitch just write it and send that shit!

we're generally cool, but doesn't handle things well.

sentences be run-on like cray. I have to edit the whole shit before he sends lol.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

annoyed.

Last week our daughter was sick. I asked her to email the teacher letting her know she wasn't coming to school. Man, I might as well had written that shit myself. "is this ok?" "how does this sound?" "should I say 'best regards', 'thanks', 'have a great weekend'?" LOL. funny, but not funny.

its 3 motherfuckers like that here:

1. This retired army dude that look like a damn rapist. Nigga face always shiny and shit. He be rocking them pointy toe dress shoes and smelling like a bottle of Cool Water.

2. This African dude. Nigga be smelling like a bottle of Issey Miyake.

3. This old head (dude is actually cool). Nigga be smelling like aftershave, cologne and baby powder.

tone that shit down OG. Shit.

like cigarettes and febreeze. horrible. I smelled him before I saw him. he dressed in a suit every day. for why? we called him rev.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

ALWAYS had some Homegrown in his pocket. One day I pulled him to the side:

"Yo...you holding? I can smell it. You might wanna put it somewhere else, bro."


His solution? He went outside and burned one. He no longer works here.

___________

Back again for the first time.

* Co-worker who comes over for technical help then drifts into a discussion about something that's months down the product roadmap, i.e. shit that doesn't matter RIGHT NOW

* Person who always remotes into team calls and stays on mute, then comes and adds their 2 cents on some "I was here". Worse is when the 2 cents is little more than a 'ditto'

Just in case she googled her name, randomly.

Any convo you speak in her earshot is getting INT’d and taken back to the house.

You hear her phone ring...silence...see her peek over her screens like “Can you help me with this call?” How can I help you with your call when I’m on a call?

____________
Twitter & IG: @rulerofmyself
SC: rulerofmyself17

Yes! She's on the drugs. (c) BoHagon

When you combine 2 people with absolutely no filter or volume control between them whose only interests in life are work,
you have a recipe for work disaster.

I introduce to you Thick Cher and Glutton for Punishment Sonny.

Thick Cher gotta be one of those Armenians with super dark long black hair and she only wears bell bottoms.
She thick like an old lady who been out of her prime for 10 years but you know she was killing it back in the day.
Problem is she's super loud about her work and she's management level but not necessarily a decision maker in the company.

Glutton for Punishment Sonny, is some weird white dude who looks like he could possibly be a serial killer or the nigga who sells cotton candy at the carnival post retirement age.
He absolutely loves it when there is conflict at work and when he is the butt of the joke.

These mofos used to sit next to me for a long time before we got renovated office space.
They would have heated vulgar arguments every day about work shit.
The kind of work they do doesn't even warrant anger.
All they do is relay data, they don't compile it or conduct any research,
they just take the data and make it look nice for the next person to create info-graphics.
One day I remember in particular was about 2 months ago.
They're at her desk, pretty much where all of the shit would go down, less than 20 feet from me.
So she's on a phone call and he comes over,
see's she's on the phone,
waits a few seconds then walks away irritated.
Comes back 5 minutes later,
before he could say anything she says
"looks like you fucked up again, you gave the design team the wrong data".
Nigga got flustered, he starts to plead his case because he realized he did actually send the wrong shit,
She cuts him off "I'm sick of having to clean up your mess all the time, it would be nice if you weren't such an asshole and payed attention to what you send out"
I really thought he was gonna fight back,
the look on his face was anger and embarrassment,
I though he was gonna let out a "bitch first of all..."
but he just lets out a loud "fuck, I'll be back...."
I'm just sitting there like damnnnn, 'she got his ass again".
15 minutes or so go by,
He loud stomps back over to her desk, cuz this nigga loves conflict,
puts his laptop on her desk, spins it around to face her and says with a sinister ass,
"look at who's the asshole now"
Come to find out, they both been sending the design team the wrong shit.
They fight about it for a little bit and a guy who wasn't close by when the argument started and heard none of this walks up to them.
He starts talking about the cafeteria and seeing one of the executive level officers on the way up to our space.
Sonny and Cher are all smiles giggling and cracking jokes with each other. Cracking jokes with the dudes.
It was like the shit never happened.
Sonny fucking walked away with a smile on his face.
It wasn't a "bitch, thought she got me" smile.
It was a "good to see Jeff, rising through the company" smile.

I'm new to the Google/FaceBook company culture where the whole office is just wide open collaborative space, folks can just roll up on you at any moment. They don't even pull you to the side, they just handle the shit in front of everybody.

Later on, I had spoke about it to another coworker and she brushed it off like "that's just how they are".

I'm the only black male here also.

I don't think I would be wrong to assume that he gets off on getting his ass kicked.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLEARLY don't want to be bothered.

Nigga, you see me here eating my food watching Stranger Things on my phone. Fuck you want.

I went to Wegmans to grab lunch today and decided to sit there and eat and watch the fine ass stay-at-home moms come in and out. Before I could even pull out a chair to sit, this white boy that be in the gym at work was like 'hey man, you eating here?'. I was like "ah NO! I got a 12:30 meeting, i'm headed back"

you've got quite the list going on in this post Haha.

folks that aren't annoying.

"my password isn't working"

"I'm locked out (again)"

"Show me how to *insert some shit a 12 year old could do*"

"How do I get this to work?"

"What does this error message mean?"



yeah. All day...long. I'm not even an IT guy, and I hate to see her coming.

___________

Back again for the first time.

____________
Twitter & IG: @rulerofmyself
SC: rulerofmyself17

Yes! She's on the drugs. (c) BoHagon

she's one of those 'fuck it...it ain't working, I'm going on break' types. Sitting there waiting on shit to magically work.

How do you know NOTHING about computers in 2018?

___________

Back again for the first time.

Xmas Sweater has to be the White-ist person I have ever met. She's an admin assistant in my department and her cube is a few steps from mine, so it's impossible to avoid her.

She wears holiday and season themed sweaters unironically
She chimes into every convo within a 5 cube area
She drives a SmartCar and lives in the deepest, most northern suburbs of ATL, so she has zero urban flavor
She thinks NCIS is too adult for her 13 year-old to watch
Her family dressed as Doctor Who characters for Halloween
She reads romance novels in her cube, when she should be working
She met her husband on an X-Files messageboard
She would be the biggest hypochondriac I ever met if it wasn't for...

Hothouse Flower

The office temperature is NEVER comfortable for her
She shares TMI on her myriad of health issues
She always needs help with the simplest of computer issues
She blames her ineptitude with those computer issues on her myriad of health issues
Can't eat anything in the monthly office potluck, yet always comes to it
Tries to diagnose every sneeze, cough, limp...etc. in a 10 cube radius
OCD about her cube...She been here for 5 years and her cube looks unoccupied except for all the special ergonomic shit she has for her sciatica, carpal tunnel, eye strain...etc.

>Can't eat anything in the monthly office potluck, yet always
>comes to it

Can't/won't eat certain shit, and NEVER likes where we're ordering from. When she does, she always substitutes stuff to the point of it not even being on the menu.

No bullshit: she orders sweet and sour chicken...but with white rice, and no sauce. So basically she's getting rice and chicken nuggets. We have to sneak and order shit so she doesn't get involved.

___________

Back again for the first time.

Dude gave up chips for Lent or whatever it is in Catholicism when you give up something you love/cover for 40 days.

Ain’t never seen dude eat a chip at work. He thought about giving up Mayo. I told him he better not use Miracle whip either.

So dude was allergic to cheese and kept saying it would kill him. Then we had pizza and he ate 3 slices because he took his pills.

Every time we orders some shit he would complain or refuse to eat it because they didn’t get his order right. I think it’s one of the main reasons we fired him. He was always sick and his SO was always in the hospital. They had to meet in a hospital cause they were the sickliest couple ever.

2 months after we fried him his SO had the hospital call here looking for him.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

couldnt have said it better.
** added to the lexicon **

for a number of years over a number of jobs there has always been one ... ALWAYS.

________
"promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind"-cl

BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, make sure you're perfect.

"I'm hella Black, and irresponsibility ain't my culture. Yall niggas just gon have to own that as individuals"- Boo

i basically work with her

even some of the idiocracy characters



i work with a guy that is essentially milton from office space, but instead of staplers, its apple products


dude has what i call conversation tunnel vision, any convo you have will be more of a monologue from him

they are old sand dumb and do everything old and dumb
and they are fascinated by the simplest shit


like the lady who has just discovered Netflix

=======================================
Coolin...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

and the majority are tech savvy and quite cool.


(The suburban ones are kinda square, but they're generally good people.)

___________

Back again for the first time.

that it all has to do with what you do on your job. I work in design and publishing, so I have always worked on computers and have had to migrate to every advance. So I'm pretty tech savvy, probably more so than younger designers because I know the current software and everything that came before it.

But for someone who has only had to deal with tech in a limited fashion, I imagine everything is going way too fast for them to catch up.

We used to have an older editor, in my office, who literally cried when they made her stop using Word Perfect. That's all she knew.

>that it all has to do with what you do on your job. I work in
>design and publishing, so I have always worked on computers
>and have had to migrate to every advance. So I'm pretty tech
>savvy, probably more so than younger designers because I know
>the current software and everything that came before it.

Makes sense.

>
>But for someone who has only had to deal with tech in a
>limited fashion, I imagine everything is going way too fast
>for them to catch up.


Some of the older heads know just enough to get their work done. I'l admit that. (We brought a lot of people aboard who worked in arenas where they need NO tech whatsoever, so they're good at their jobs, but not good with tech. Fish out of water.)


>
>We used to have an older editor, in my office, who literally
>cried when they made her stop using Word Perfect. That's all
>she knew.

HAHAHAHA !!!

___________

Back again for the first time.

40s and they are for the most part ok but they act similar to the 50+
kinda like how trin be postin sometimes :-P (j/k)

i just lumped em all together since it's so few of them


but there is a HUGE difference between them and those in there 20s 30s and early 40s

=======================================
Coolin...

>40s and they are for the most part ok but they act similar to
>the 50+
>kinda like how trin be postin sometimes :-P (j/k)
>

lmao...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*