i was having a talk about this with a friend who is black and his wife is white.
he doesnt want his kids to be color struck so we were just shooting the shit about this stuff.
I know for that situation its a bit different since his wife is white, BUT, he still touches upon a big question - how do you tackle colorism and parenting?
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Jun-23-17 01:17 PM
2. "Is your boy colorstruck? " In response to Reply # 0
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Jun-23-17 01:39 PM
8. "Just wondering if he acknowledges black beauty" In response to Reply # 5
the same way he does white beauty.
My dad used to troll me when we watched tv. Gotdamn those white women boy!!!
I would be mad as shit. Maybe it was reverse psychology. It worked.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
3. "My son is the only mixed kid in daycare." In response to Reply # 0
all the other kids are black black and too young for it to really come up. He's 2
but it manifests sometimes in pretty interesting ways with the teachers cause they're actually considerate since really don't know how we're approaching it.
so one of the teachers made the aspirational posters envisioning each kid in a role of a famous black person; like one girl was Bey, one kid was Barack, etc. His was a collage of a bunch of people so it was Michael B Jordan, Jesse Williams, Hugh Jackman, Jon Hamm, etc. It was hilarious and sweet and weird all at the same time cause i would have settled for Jesse
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Jun-23-17 01:35 PM
7. "Real talk, I'm worried this will happen to my daughters" In response to Reply # 4 Fri Jun-23-17 01:39 PM by legsdiamond
They got that "good" hair so when I'm out with my daughter by myself I get the "are they mixed?" look. my wife said she gets it as well.
I really don't look forward to this convo and hope we can avoid it until they are at an age where they really understand what's going on.
Also don't want them to live in the world EYE live in but in the world they live in and I hope things are slightly better by that time.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
6. ""did"? Is it too late?!?!?!?" In response to Reply # 0
It helps that there mom is the darker skinned one in the family. It hasn't come up yet in a meaningful way. We spend a lot time talking about the beauty of black skin and hair.
Our first priority has been making sure they dig the sistas first. Haven't really had occasion to go to the next level and discuss colorism.
But to me colorism is one of the biggest things the black community don't really talk about anymore.
For example my kids school prides themselves on their black enrollment and diversity but a majority of the black kids are bi-racial.
That's also true of a lot of the most visible black people today are bi-racial.
I can't help feel that there is some oppression free-riding because let's be frank, ain't nobody scared of Sean King or Steph Curry walking behind them. At least not the way they would be intimidated if Draymond Green was walking behind them on a dark street.
I'm talking reckless but its mainly because we really don't talk about this topic very much, at least these days.
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79554 posts
Fri Jun-23-17 02:39 PM
11. "big curly hair is a must" In response to Reply # 9
I'm still tripping over all these interracial couples in commercials. We rarely see a black couple in commercials these days.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
Many many many people around the world know this. A big psychological reason many people race mix lighter is because they are afraid of teh social consequences of being dark, not because we don't find dark skin beautiful.
Being mixed or light skinned holds some currency up until a certain point.
Still, many biracials are passing based on white culture. I don't see black people holding them higher on a pedastol because of the color of their skin.
Wentworth Miller Vinn Diesel Zoe Saldana (if she could) Megan Markle
I personal know two biracial women who you would NEVA believe were black. They don't even talk about it. They'd rather be white than be biracial.
Colorism, is more novelty-ism. Light skin is still novelty around the world. Soon that shit will change.
17. "bi-racials have there own set of issues" In response to Reply # 14
but there is such a thing as light skin privilege.
Ain't the same as white privilege, but it has its own set of advantages.
I would guess that's probably James Blake first instance being treated that way.
The test isn't comparing James Blake to a white person, but compare his treatment to a much darker skinned brother.
BTW, I know that IG because I've been following it
>I think we give to much credence to the idea that bi-racials >have it easier. They've been around the world forever. > >More importantly, dark skinned men and women are fine as >fuck! > >https://www.instagram.com/darkskinwomen/?hl=en >https://www.instagram.com/darkskin.men/?hl=en > >Many many many people around the world know this. A big >psychological reason many people race mix lighter is because >they are afraid of teh social consequences of being dark, not >because we don't find dark skin beautiful. > >Being mixed or light skinned holds some currency up until a >certain point. > >Still, many biracials are passing based on white culture. I >don't see black people holding them higher on a pedastol >because of the color of their skin. > >Wentworth Miller >Vinn Diesel >Zoe Saldana (if she could) >Megan Markle > >I personal know two biracial women who you would NEVA believe >were black. They don't even talk about it. They'd rather be >white than be biracial. > >Colorism, is more novelty-ism. Light skin is still novelty >around the world. Soon that shit will change. > > > >
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
18. "RE: "did"? Is it too late?!?!?!?" In response to Reply # 6
>I can't help feel that there is some oppression free-riding >because let's be frank, ain't nobody scared of Sean King or >Steph Curry walking behind them. At least not the way they >would be intimidated if Draymond Green was walking behind them >on a dark street.
size figures into that too, Javale McGee would intimidate a lot more people than Kyrie Irving lol
10. "not really....i caught myself " In response to Reply # 0
when he was lil, I had my own insecurities because he is lt skin w/hazel eyes and I figured he would be picked on immediately.... so I would mentally project my fear into his need to be 'tough' etc...
then I realized that it never happened and kids are different now so it never got to that pt for me to say anything
but yeah....his other side of the fam would treat him differently(better) than his cousins but it ain't/wasn't my place to tell his old country great grandparents abt colorism lol...hell his g-grandfather still calls him his lil red boy
I do suspect my son has an affinity for 'fair-skinned' young ladies based upon some goofy lil convos we have
13. "Mayne let me tell you about old country great grandparents" In response to Reply # 10
It wasn't my grandma but I would go over to my friends house and their grandma wouldn't let us play outside too long because she didn't want us to get too black.
>when he was lil, I had my own insecurities because he is lt >skin w/hazel eyes and I figured he would be picked on >immediately.... >so I would mentally project my fear into his need to be >'tough' etc... > >then I realized that it never happened and kids are different >now so it never got to that pt for me to say anything > > >but yeah....his other side of the fam would treat him >differently(better) than his cousins but it ain't/wasn't my >place to tell his old country great grandparents abt colorism >lol...hell his g-grandfather still calls him his lil red boy > >I do suspect my son has an affinity for 'fair-skinned' young >ladies >based upon some goofy lil convos we have
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
RE: just let'em watch School Daze and call it a day lol
No need to have really discussed it with my kids because our family is every shade of brown. Since birth, they've been loved, adored, talked to, played with, and surrounded by every hue refracted from the Black pyramid. Same thing applied to me, my brothers, and my cousins when we were growing up.
Being from Louisiana, we're also sensitive to and acknowledge the role colorist plays in our communities. Shit wasn't a big deal in our family though. Neither side because of sides were like described above.
22. "We have with the 10 year old. Not with the 6." In response to Reply # 0 Fri Jun-23-17 06:24 PM by denny
My SO kinda emphasizes colorism in her personal views. She's very dark-skinned and just in passing conversation...you can tell she thinks that shade is more relevant than the amount it's typically discussed. We're close to 40 so she was raised during the time that it was more common for black people to discriminate against dark-skinned people more openly and/or commonly. But even currently...she thinks that dark-skinned people experience more everyday racism from everyone, whites included. I definitely don't want to characterize her as being resentful of light-skinned people...but she will occasionally point out (between me and her) that light-skinned people have privilege (relatively speaking of course) they are sometimes reluctant to acknowledge.
In anycase...one of our daughters is 20 and also dark-skinned. She's got her shit together and her worldview is healthy. Most of that groundwork was done before I was in her life.
The boys are also dark-skinned and the subject has been broached with the 10 year old. We did talk to him about the paper-bag test once. He's so innocent...whenever we talk about race he just seems so surprised that people would be 'so silly'. I remember the first couple times it was like he almost didn't believe us. He hasn't had a direct experience related to colorism...but as we've talked about race to him more and more it comes up as a side-point once in awhile. More preparation and awareness-raising than anything else. I can't recall anytime we've talked about racism with the 6 year old. It's probably gonna start creeping into conversations soon but my SO believes strongly in waiting until the issue arises organically. She does NOT agree with the 'woke 5 year old' thing.
we haven't made a point to touch on this. I'm the darkest in the house, but no one would ever say I'm dark skin. my wife is a bit lighter, but both my kids are lighter than us.
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